Giving Back Through Mentorship--Part 1

Mentoring can be one of life’s greatest rewards. Whether you mentor a young professional at your place of work, a college student from your alma mater, or even your own children, mentoring will bring about great satisfaction in life and will allow you to learn and grow. Mentoring is a leadership responsibility and because of the benefit it brings to both the mentor and mentee; this blog and my next blog on Thursday will be dedicated to this topic.

First, why should we mentor others? There are so many numerous reasons and benefits to giving of ourselves through mentorship and probably most are fairly obvious. However I often wonder when things are so obvious, why we don’t take more advantage of them such as volunteering to intentionally mentor others. The following are just a few of the many benefits that make mentoring well worth our effort.

Probably the most gratifying reason we should take the time out of our lives to mentor others is because it produces a great sense of personal satisfaction. Knowing you are helping and contributing to others outside of yourself can produce some of the most satisfying feelings possible in life. As we watch our “mentees” learn, grow, progress, and succeed, we will feel a great sense of accomplishment for having made a contribution.

Another reason we should take the time to mentor is because the things we teach others often become second nature to us. Thus, our own skills and knowledge are developed and sharpened as we teach and guide others. As is often said, it is one thing to know something but it is another thing to effectively share it and teach it. Teaching others helps us to grow.

In addition, mentoring often gives us valuable insight into someone who is different than us. Our mentees will have different backgrounds, different experiences, different insights, and will probably belong to a different generation than us. Learning to work with and develop others who are different than us or those who we normally don't associate with will sharpen our ability and skills to work with and motivate a more diverse group. This knowledge and experience can prove to be invaluable as we progress through life.

Mentoring allows us to build a relationship that may last a lifetime. Though now the relationship may be somewhat lopsided in terms of us giving and the other receiving, there is no telling when those roles may be reversed and our longtime mentee may be the one giving more than receiving. As Rick Pitino once stated, “How you relate to people in the workplace—both those above you and those below you—is vital, because you never know who might one day be your boss.” Building relationships with others is always time well spent!

As we take the time to intentionally mentor others whether at home, in our community, or at our place of work, we will experience great satisfaction, gain great insight, and will build lasting relationships—and these are simply only a few of the numerous benefits we can receive from mentorship. In the end, being a mentor will make us better leaders and will keep our inner fire burning.

(In my blog on Thursday I will address some great skills we need to develop in order to be effective mentors to those we lead.)

Adding an Extra Degree to Life

"Somtimes we need to sweat the small stuff."
Anonymous

Everyday we make several seemingly inconsequential and insignificant decisions in our lives with our time. And though these decisions seem unimportant at the time, they quickly add up and can have a huge impact. In fact, I cannot stress enough how much the little things in our life matter. The little decisions we make each day affect our lives and those around us much more than the seemingly big decisions. Little things do matter, and they matter the most!

Recently I viewed this short motivational movie called 212 The Extra Degree. At 211 degrees water is hot but with just one added degree, it boils producing steam. The message is powerful and speaks to a way to achieve results “beyond our wildest dreams"--and that way is through doing the little things and making a little extra effort each day. With boiling water, one seemingly insignificant degree makes all the difference, and so it is true also in our lives. The little things we do each day can and will make all the difference.

To illustrate the point that little things do matter we can look to Olympic sports. For example, the Men’s 800 meter race was won by the narrow margin of .21 seconds, the Men’s Giant Slalom gold medalist was won by mearly .17 seconds, and the Women’s 1000 meter Speed Skating race was won by only .07 seconds. Hence, tenths of a second often make all the difference in determining Olympic medal winners.

To apply this in our lives, what are the little things we can do that can have a big impact on who we are and in turn help us be better leaders each day? Well, for example, if we decide to wake up 5 minutes earlier each day and spend that time pondering and meditating about life, our direction and goals, and what truly matters most, we will add over an extra 30 hours of pondering and meditating to our lives a year. Another example, if we cut 10 minutes off of our lunch break each day at work and spend that time getting to know, motivating, and developing our staff and co-workers, that will translate into over 43 extra hours a year in employee development. Likewise, if we cut just 15 minutes of surfing the Internet out of our lives each day and use that time toward achieving our goals and being better leaders, that will result in over 91 extra hours a year. And finally, if we eliminate 30 minutes of TV each day and spend it with the most important people in our lives, our family, it will add up to more than an extra 182 hours a year! Are you starting to see how making small adjustment can have a huge impact!!

Often in life we are fooled by the idea that small things don’t really matter too much but they do!! As we focus on the small things, we will begin to see big strides in our success in life. Think about it, what little things can you do today that can have a big impact? Adding that extra degree of effort and focus will make all the difference!

2 Qualities the Greatest Leaders Possess

It is not enough to be good, when you have the ability to be great!”
Anonymous

There are a variety of characteristics, talents, traits, and skills that make individuals successful leaders. However, new research indicates that two specific traits separate great leaders from others. These two distinguishing traits are humility and an unwavering resolve to do what is right in all situations. The research suggests that people who have the capacity to fully develop and maintain in balance these two specific traits will possess the ability to have the greatest impact in making a difference in the world. Thus, these two traits allow great leaders to skillfully influence and inspire others to accomplish greatness.

Humility

Someone who demonstrates humility is someone who is teachable, modest, unassuming, appreciative, open, and approachable. Humility permits great leaders to more easily interact with and inspire others because they remain true to who they are and who they are leading. Most often, a humble leader works side by side those he or she may be leading making a direct, meaningful, and genuine impact. Because humility allows great leaders to not be overcome by greed or pride, they are able to maintain a drive and a desire to sincerely help others. Hence, humility is a key to becoming a great leader.

Resolve

An unwavering resolve to do what is right in all situations separates the greatest leaders from others because it is not easy to sustain. In fact, few leaders have the discipline and stamina to hold true to their beliefs over the test of time. In a world of constantly shifting values and evolving expectations, it takes a strong, focused, and dedicated leader to remain true to what they believe to be right under any and all circumstances. Criticism and doubt often are draining influences that cause people to falter or shift direction. However, leaders who do not diminish their resolve will retain their effectiveness and reach their full potential as a leader. Therefore, remaining firm amongst intense pressure will allow great leaders to have a powerful influence on others for good.

So do you have it in you?! Do you have the discipline and drive to develop these two qualities that will allow you to change the world and be a great leader? Humility and an unwavering resolve in doing what is right separate great leaders from the rest—and as we consciously strive to develop these qualities, we will become greater leaders in all aspects of our lives!

Our Personal Ministry of Leadership

If your actions inspire others to dream more, learn more, do more, and become more, you are a leader.”
John Quincy Adams

Leadership in life is defined in so many different ways by different people that depending on the definition, it may or may not seem to be something you or I would want to aspire to. To me though, leadership involves positively influencing and giving back to others through guidance, commitment, and inspiration. Thus, in my mind, if we have the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others then we are leaders.

Using this definition, each of us is given responsibilities in life where we are designated to be leaders. Whether we are parents, grandparents, supervisors, community or volunteer leaders or helpers, or even simply a friend or member of a family, we all have leadership responsibilities, because we all have influence on others. Though many may deny this idea, these leadership responsibilities are real, and they can provide some of the most satisfying opportunities and experiences in our lives if we embrace them. Thus, striving to be a great leader or influencer is important for everyone.

I like to refer to this idea as our personal Ministry of Leadership for our life. Since we impact others lives, I see our work, family, civil, and friendship responsibilities as a calling or a ministry of leadership. Perhaps for some people in our lives, there is no one else in the world that influences them more than you. Think about it.

I strongly believe we can and should view ourselves as leaders in all our roles in life, and we should take responsibility for how we impact those who surround us. During each interaction, we can perform a service to others through our actions if we choose to do so. By trying to uplift, encourage, and help others succeed in whatever they are pursuing, we can and will have a profound positive effect on the overall well-being of others. We can strive daily to create positive environments—thus fulfilling our leadership responsibilities in life. By believing we are a leader we realize our actions can become nothing short of a wonderful blessing in our life as well as the lives of others.

Each of us is a leader since we have the opportunity to make a difference in the lives of others. Developing our leadership skills and trying to positively influence and help others in our lives is our personal ministry of leadership. I often hear people complain there aren’t enough good leaders in the world, but to me, the real shame isn’t that there aren’t enough leaders out there, but that so many of us fail to realize we are a leader. What kind of leader will you be today?!

Lessons Learned from Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture (part 2)

“The rungs on the ladder of life are not meant for stopping or clinging to; they are meant to support you just long enough to reach higher.”
Robert K. Cooper

As I’ve contemplated Randy’s story over the last week, I have had the opportunity to really reflect on life and its meaning and importance. I think the thoughts that come to us as we face the reality of the fleetingness of life are important because they help us put things into perspective and think more clearly. Randy’s story is a good reminder that life is a special gift that we must take full advantage of each day. From Randy’s life and others, we can learn some very valuable lessons that we must internalize and pass on to others. These lessons are:

1. We Are Unique

No one in this world ever has or ever will be exactly like you, or me, or anyone else. We are completely unique individuals and thus we have the capacity to leave a unique mark on the world that no one else can. Leaving our own distinct impression on the world based on our unique talents and abilities is a responsibility each of us has. Thus, our one-of-a-kind capabilities must not go to waste but must be developed and shared with others before our time comes to an end.

2. We Must Follow Our Heart

There are many things to do in this life but we must follow those good pursuits that we are most drawn to. Often we don’t follow our heart out of fear, laziness, lack of confidence, apathy, or other reasons but we must learn to overcome these negative feelings and follow our hearts desires. As we follow the good desires of our heart, we will be able to put our whole energy, focus, and mind into what we are doing—giving back and contributing the most we are able to, to this world. By following our hearts we stay true to ourselves and live a rewarding and fulfilling life.

3. We Should Focus on Becoming

Too often in life we focus on ourselves, often worrying selfishly about what we are getting. In life, rather than focusing on what we get, we should focus on what we become. Focusing on what we are becoming as opposed to what we are getting is a key to reaching our potential and finding happiness during our time in life.

4. Our Impact Lasts

Our simple decisions today can and will impact generations to come. For example, our decision to pursue an education even under difficult circumstances may result in a family tradition of future generations also pursing their education. Just as one domino in a domino chain impacts all the others that come after it, we to influence all those who come after us by our decisions. It is important that we are making wise and prudent decisions such as following our hearts and focusing on what type of person we are becoming. Our decisions and influence will extend to our families far beyond our current comprehension. We all leave a lasting impact!

We can learn a lot from Randy Paush’s example and inspirational Last Lecture about what truly matters in life. As we learn and teach these lessons to others, we will become better individuals and leaders. There is much wisdom in these simple lessons, yet most of the world fails to think about, internalize, and/or try to follow them. I hope we all can take full advantage of these “lessons learned” in order to reach our full potential and leave our unique mark on the world.

Below is Randy Pausch’s last lecture:

Lessons Learned from Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture

The other day I heard Randy Pausch’s story and watched his Last Lecture online. For those who may not be aware, Randy Paush’s story is a real life heart wrenching yet heartwarming story about a professor who has dedicated his life to others through teaching. He is now quickly approaching the end of his life after being diagnosed with terminal cancer. He gave an inspirational and uplifting Last Lecture to students in September of 2007 about achieving childhood dreams and enabling others to achieve theirs. Professor Pausch is humorous, tells many wonderful stories, and offers a lot of excellent advice throughout his last lecture. And at this time, I would like to highlight some of my favorite lessons learned from his lecture that will help us all be better people.

1. Don’t Underestimate the Power of Head Fakes

One of Professor Pausch’s most savvy teaching methods is he discovers ways to make learning fun in all walks of life. The “head fakes” concept is creating environments of learning where people think they are doing one thing—such as learning to become a pro football player at practice—but really are learning other things, such as hard work, discipline, and dedication. Being creative in helping others learn by inspiring others through “head fakes” will help us all be better parents, teachers, friends, co-workers, and leaders.

2. Overcome Brick Walls

We all have roadblocks or “brick walls” in our way that will try and deter us from achieving our dreams and accomplishing what we want truly want in life. Professor Pausch explains that these “brick walls” are simply placed in our path so as to separate those who really want to accomplish their dreams and those who do not. These “brick walls” help us to make sacrifices and prove we really want to accomplish what we are working toward. They also make the process to achieving our goals much more rewarding and gratifying. Those who press forward over the “brick walls” will realize their dreams and will appreciate them so much more. Thus, we must not give up when faced with seemingly impassable brick walls.

3. Life is All about Attitude

Professor Pausch has a beautiful family which includes three younger children, yet he is dying and will leave a wonderful life behind. It seems he has every reason in the world to be upset and angry, but he is happy and living his life to its fullest. His enthusiasm, openness, and energy are an example to us all. We learn from Professor Pausch that we can choose to have a good attitude under any circumstance. Attitude is a choice! Professor Paush points out there are always things to be grateful for, and he has decided to live the rest of his short life in appreciation for what he does have.

4. Remember Good Karma Works

The culminating point of Professor Pausch’s Last Lecture is that if we strive to do what’s right and live a decent life, good things will happen to us. Professor Paush truly believes if we act as we should and seek others interests before our own, we will realize our dreams because of “good karma.” Thus, as we strive to make the world a better place through serving others and being honest and caring people, good will always come back to us.

Professor Pausch’s story is touching and inspirational and the lessons he shares in his last lecture are invaluable. I applaud Professor Pausch, and I hope we can all have the courage to follow his example. God bless you and your loved ones Professor Pausch!

Below is Randy Pausch’s last lecture:

Important Steps toward Building Trust and Loyalty

“Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day.”
Jim Rohn

A recent survey conducted by an Associate Professor at Florida State University revealed that very frequently people act inappropriately around those they are supposed to lead which results in distrust and disloyalty. For example, the study found 39 percent of employees felt their supervisor failed to keep promises and 23 percent complained their supervisor blames others to cover mistakes and minimize fault. In conclusion, the survey determined at least 1/3 of all leaders are perceived to be engaging in dishonest behaviors. Is there any uncertainty as to why skepticism and doubt are on the rise in our society today?

In today’s world of dishonesty, mistrust, doubt and suspicion, it is more difficult and yet perhaps more important than ever before for people and leaders to build relationships of trust and loyalty. With increasing disloyalty and distrust in the world and workforce, how do good leaders overcome this? The following are four surefire ways to build trust and loyalty in the workforce, at home, or in any situation.

1. Set the Right Example

People and leaders who build trust and loyalty are people who set the right example at all times. To do this we must do what we ask others to do and live by the same rules we ask others to live by. We must avoid double standards and special privileges that others will see as unfair. We must be determined to make the right decision always, even when it is difficult or when no one is watching.

2. Be Direct in Communication

To build trust and loyalty, we need to be very open and straightforward in our communication. We must speak candidly and honestly even during situations of conflict and confrontation. We must refrain from suppressing our feelings or hiding what we really think or believe inside--sharing our opinions openly and honestly. We must be frank and strive to communicate clearly and often. Leaders who gain trust and loyalty express themselves frequently, in an effective and meaningful way.

3. Ensure the Message is Clear

Leaders who foster trust and loyalty always follow-up to ensure messages are clear. By doing this, we can help avoid miscommunication and/or misunderstandings. By being specific and direct in presenting information, and then verifing the message was received and understood, we are being proactive and skillful communicators. As we do this, trust and loyalty will grow.

4. Listen Attentively

A good leader listens to others. Sincerely listening to others will create instant rapport and will foster a relationship of trust and respect. We must take time to listen to others empathetically, and they will willingly "go to war” for us during difficult times.

So why is building trust and loyalty important to effective leaders? Building trust and loyalty creates a productive and positive environment where people want to be led. Creating such an environment allows others to feel at ease and maximize their potential. Building trust and loyalty makes others much more willingly to go above and beyond what is asked of them. In contrast, a dishonest environment invites unnecessary tension, exhaustion, and even depression. Likewise, once trust is lost, it is hard to regain. Finally, distrust breeds distrust and disloyalty breeds disloyalty.

Setting an example, being direct in our communication, making sure the message is clear, and listening attentively will help us become a person and a leader who inspires trust and loyalty. Creating an environment of loyalty along with relationships of trust will help us be a better person and will ultimately result in greater success in all walks of life.

The Art of Recovery

“Service is about remarkable comebacks…the foul up followed by the heartfelt prompt fix is a lot more memorable even than getting it right the first time.”
Tom Peters

Working in the service industry, I know my company is bound to make mistakes in the eyes of our customers. No matter how hard we try and how much experience we have, at some time we will let our customers down and not meet their expectations. I believe the same can apply to our personal lives. We all make mistakes and let those down around us. However, like in business, the important thing is how we react to these mistakes. Accepting responsibility and correcting the problem is a sign of maturity as well as leadership. Making memorable comebacks for mistakes we have made should become part of who we are. Doing this will heal and strengthen relationships and build a foundation of trust and respect. Instead of getting unmotivated or upset by the mistake, we can allow it to motivate us to do better, to be more aware and sensitive, to exceed expectations, and to move toward accomplishing our goals.

Committing ourselves to making these memorable and sincere comebacks can set us apart from others. Doing this will make us better leaders and peacemakers. So remember, when things go wrong, think of it as an opportunity to leave a memorable recovery. Choose to be motivated, and people will love and respect you for it.