How to Effectively Deal With Change

Memorial Day Thoughts

Memorial Day is a special day for our nation. For me, it is a day in which we should all take time to mourn, reflect, show gratitude, and rejoice.

First, we mourn the passing of those we’ve lost—especially those who have sacrificed their lives for our freedoms. We mourn the fact that war continues around the world, and that we are currently engaged in conflicts due to hatred and pride of man. We mourn for families who have lost loved ones and for the pain war causes in our world.

Next, we reflect on the sacrifices of those who have given and continue to give so much for our nation. We reflect on what our freedom has cost and how dear it truly is. We reflect on our own personal lives—are we being as kind, grateful, and forgiving as we should be? We reflect on those precious things in life that matter most.

After that we show gratitude by appreciating and respecting freedom. We show gratitude by fulfilling our civic duties, by being a kind neighbor, and by standing up for what we believe to be right. We show gratitude by staying involved and interested in the well-being of our nation. We show gratitude each day by our simple interactions with each other. We show gratitude by being respectful of life.

Finally, we rejoice in the good that exists in our world. We rejoice in our freedom. We rejoice in the courage, love, and example of those who have gone before us and for those who have paid the ultimate price for our freedom. We rejoice in time spent with family and friends. We rejoice that we are alive.

I hope during this Memorial Day each of us takes time to mourn a little, reflect a little, show a little more gratitude, and rejoice a little together. God bless America!

Turning Bad Into Good

Studies have found that one of the things leaders dread doing the most as a leader is presenting negative information or bad news to others. Unfortunately, in every aspect of our lives, things do not go as planned. Thus inevitably at sometime we will all be faced with the task of sharing unpleasant information with others—and often with people we care about. Now just because it is bad news we are sharing, this does not mean that sharing the news itself cannot be a positive or motivating experience. In fact, great leaders find ways to begin the healing process immediately by presenting the negative information so that it actually inspires and encourages others. So how do great leaders do this? Here are four tips on how to effectively present negative information to others.

1. Be Honest

The number one thing to do when sharing bad news is to tell the truth. Avoiding, hiding, or twisting the truth will never do any good in the long-run because at some point in time the truth will be revealed. Thus, there is no reason not to be completely honest. In fact, by not being honest you may actually lose credibility and trust as a leader and you may end up demoralizing others even more. Though the task is difficult, people respect leaders who are candid and honest from the very beginning.

2. Be Clear and Concise

The last thing you want to happen is for people to over exaggerate or misunderstand bad news. Likewise, it is not necessary to provide every detail regarding the negative information in most instances. Therefore it is important to take the time to ensure your message will be plainly and pointedly stated and delivered.

3. Encourage Communication

After you share your message, always ask others to share their concerns, questions, or insights. Two-way dialogue is necessary to ensure the message is received and understood. Take time to listen to what others may have to say and answer questions as thoroughly as possible. Encouraging communication will allow you to gage the overall reaction of others to the bad news you just presented.

4. Highlight the Positive.

If appropriate, give praise and recognition for things that are going well. Don’t dwell only on the negative but take time to highlight the positive—even if the positive is “we can learn from this news” or “bad news has made us stronger in the past.” Looking beyond the bad news and focusing on something positive will help motivate others.

Being a leader is challenging and difficult. Learning how to effectively communicate regardless of the situation is key to being a successful leader. As we are honest, clear, and concise in presenting bad news and then encourage communication and highlight the positive, we will be able to turn bad news into a great opportunity.

The Truth About Getting the Best From People

The Truth about Getting the Best from People by Martha I. Finney is an outstanding book for all leaders who want to excel in managing a diverse workforce in a dynamic world. The book is full of insights, knowledge, and wisdom that are perfect for all managers and companies who are having challenges engaging and retaining their most valuable asset--their people. In an effort to help, the book contains 49 truths to help us lead successfully. Here are four of my favorites “truths” found in the book.

Truth #2 in the book is “You get the best by giving the best.” This truth addresses the fact that managers have to give their best each day to their employees and model the high level of effort and professionalism they expect. Thus, whether we are having an excellent day or a horrific day, as a manager, there is never an excuse to be disrespectful or rude to our employees. Likewise, managers and companies need to ask employees how they are doing in terms of serving them so that they can improve. Showing a true desire to motivate, inspire, serve, and help employees will produce a tremendous amount of commitment, dedication, and engagement among the team. And the good news is companies with the highest level of engaged employees have proved to have consistent growth and profitability. Thus if we give our best by serving our employees, they will give their best in return.

Truth #8 is “Think you’re a great leader? Think again.” This truth speaks to the fact many managers assume they are good leaders without asking their people. Studies have proven there is a large disconnect between managers who feel they are doing a good job and employees who feel their managers are doing a good job. Thus, good leaders must frequently assess their leadership abilities to determine what changes they need to make to be a better leader. Additionally, managers should not be afraid to ask their employees how they are performing and how they can improve. This level of trust and communication builds confidence in a leader. This is critical for managers; as statics show most employees leave a job due to dissatisfaction with their supervisor. Successful leaders do everything they can to give their employees a reason to stay.

Truth #35 is “Extreme pressure kills inspired performance.” Faster, better, cheaper is the demand of our world, but to get there we must provide an environment that is conducive to success. Indeed studies have found that too much pressure kills creativity, and it results in a lack of mental clarity, exhaustion, and disengagement. Thus leaders must take careful steps in creating the best atmosphere for employees to achieve their best results.

Truth #43 is “Engaged employees need to know more.” Communication, communication, and more communication is the key. Engaged employees want and deserve to know what is going on in the company. Leaders must not only be willing but should also be actively trying to give employees all the company information that is fit to share. Engaged employees feel they are an important part of the company, and they are! Thus sharing information allows employees to work better, smarter, and faster and helps them to feel important and part of the team.

These are only a few examples of the excellent 49 proven leadership truths that are found in this book. I believe every business professional will benefit from reading this book.

See how I ranked this book

Birthday Wish

Recently I had a birthday which always forces me to reflect on my life a bit. Some things that came to my mind this year are things I’ve learned from others who have helped mentor and guide me through life. These teachings have really had a profound impact on me so I wish to share three of these simple lessons today with you.

#1-Remember the 5 P’s

“Remember the 5 P’s” is something I often heard my high school basketball coach say during practice. The five P’s of course are “Proper Preparation Prevents Poor Performance.” Outside of basketball, this has come to mean much more to me. I realize now that every moment matters as every moment is preparation for how we will act during times of stress, difficulties, and challenges in life. If we are always preparing to perform well in life and as leaders, then when the inevitable challenges arise, we will succeed because we’ve properly prepared. So always remember the 5 P’s.

#2-Perception is Reality

My first boss right out of college constantly reminded me that “perception is reality.” The repetition of this phrase became very annoying to me in the moment but has now come to mean something very important. The perception people have of us, though it may not be accurate, is truth to them. As leaders, we must do everything we can to protect our good name, character, and integrity. We must avoid even giving the perception that we are dishonest or uninterested. As leaders, we must never participate in anything that would cause people to lose respect or confidence in us. We must always remember that leaders are being watched at all times and our ability to persuade and effectively lead will be based on others perception of us. So we must remember, the perception of others is reality to them therefore we must do everything we can to create and maintain a positive perception.

#3-Turn and Look

Lastly, a more recent mentor always reminded me to “turn and look.” Though we have mountains to climb ahead of us she always encouraged our team to occasionally stop and turn and look at the mountains we had already crossed. Thus, when facing seemingly insurmountable obstacles in life, we should pause and reflect on everything we have already overcome and accomplished. Reflecting on our “wins” will give us courage and confidence to move forward realizing that we have crossed many mountains before and survived. This is exactly what I’ve been doing on my birthday this year—reflecting on the mountains I’ve already crossed and eyeing the mountains that lay ahead. And I feel motivated and ready to cross many more mountains this year!

These mentors along with many others in my life have come to mean a great deal to me because of their examples and what they have taught me. Their influence has impacted me for many years and will continue to do so throughout my life. My birthday wish is to, like them, be able in some way to give back and help others along their journey through life.

3 Keys to Success

“Success is nothing more than a few simple disciplines, practiced every day.”
Jim Rohn

For the most part, each of us is striving to be successful in life. Whether we are working, or retired, in school, or tending children, we all want to be successful. Being successful in life takes effort and the ability to posses or develop certain traits or skills. Today I wish to write about three keys to success and although these keys may not be anything new or revolutionary, I strongly feel repetition and reminders are some of the best ways we learn.

The three keys to success I want to highlight today are:

1. Drive

Being truly successful takes drive. We have to want it and we have to have the discipline to work at it every day. Drive is our mental and physical commitment to being successful. Driven people are able to push through doubt and fear in order to maintain focus. They also have the ability to overcome skeptics and naysayers that will inevitably rear their heads to point out obstacles and flaws. Remember, being successful is not easy. For this reason we must have tremendous drive to push us through the difficult times.

2. Passion

Passion is the fire that fuels our drive. We need to be passionate about being successful in life in order to achieve it. Do we have a passion for success? Passion is extremely important because if we are only driven without the passion, then we are not fully committed emotionally. Our head and actions may say yes, but our heart will not follow. Thus, we must have a highly intrinsic, fire-in-the-belly feeling, or passion, in order to sustain our drive. Without this passion, it will be difficult to be successful at anything consistently long-term.

3. Consistency

Consistency is the third key to success and is an often underrated trait of someone who is successful. Consistency however is crucial to success and often defines it. Anyone can be great for a day, a week, or even a year, but how many people are able to be great for a lifetime? A person who is able to consistently maintain their drive and passion will ultimately find success and will prove it through their steadiness. Consistency is often what separates the best from the rest.

Being successful in life is nearly everyone’s desire yet only a few people are able to truly accomplish it. Despite this, success knows no boundaries or limitations. Thus, with the right drive, passion, and consistency, we all have the opportunity to be successful in life. Good luck in your quest for success!

Everyday Parents Raising Great Kids

“We must...be willing to give our children the best we can find within ourselves.”
James D. MacArthur

As a dad of three children, I find it very helpful to occasionally read books that will help me be a better parent—and this book is a great one to read. And although being a parent can be stressful and challenging, I have found that it can also be extremely rewarding. Thus, I believe taking the time to read good parenting books is extremely important and always worth the effort for all parents as we try to improve.

In his book Everyday Parents Raising Great Kids, author James D. MacArthur provides many helpful insights and ideas on not only how we can be more effective parents but also on how we can enjoy parenting more. At the heart of the book is a series of self-assessments that help us honestly answer the question, “what type of influence am I being on my family?” Through constant self-evaluation and communication, the author argues that we can truly become the parents we long to be for our children and we can truly have the type of family we long to have in our lives.

The core message of this book is that having a great family takes work. Unfortunately, there are no easy shortcuts or magic formulas. Like all things in life, raising a family takes a considerable amount of dedication, commitment, planning, evaluation, and time in order to be successful. Great families do not just happen accidentally! The author calls this effort “intentional parenting” meaning we take time to deliberately plan and parent our children rather than leaving it up to chance. The author offers several ways we can do this from establishing a family plan to regularly holding “Family Discussion Times” where we openly talk about family issues. In the end, the author strongly encourages us to “seek an A grade in trying” as effort is the key to ultimate family-life success.

Another important message from this book is that we need measurements to be successful. Without constant and frequent evaluation and measuring, how will we know if we are making progress? Assessing our behavior and performance in our family and making goals to improve is essential for families that want to reach their potential in experiencing the maximum amount of happiness in their home.

In the book we also learn that we must make our family a high priority in our lives. In fact, the author states it should be our highest priority above education, career, hobbies, community service, and any other personal pursuits. The author encourages parents to realize the importance of their influence on their children and states that those who fail to take their parental responsibilities seriously will one day live to seriously regret it. Realizing that happiness can come from contributing and belonging to a successful family will help us to put our family first in our lives.

Finally, throughout the book the author offers plenty of encouragement for parents reminding us that there is always hope even if we or our families are not perfect. Having a great family is a journey and not necessarily a destination—and this book emphasizes that we may never get to where we hope to be as a family and that this is ok. The most important thing is that we are continually trying and making progress. Therefore, each parent should strive to take responsibility for things that are within their control and not worry about things that may be out of their control. For example, as parents we are responsible for how we lead and how we act towards our family members however we cannot control how our family chooses to react to our offerings. Thus, no matter what happens in life, we as parents should always care deeply about our family members, but we do not need to feel completely responsible for them.

Everyday Parents Raising Great Kids is an excellent read for all parents as it will cause you to truly reflect on family life and motivate you to be a better parent. Through great insights, stories, and practical applications of many family ideas, this book will influence you to increase your efforts and commitment to your family responsibilities while enjoying your family-life much more.

Giving Back Through Mentorship--Part 2

Mentoring can be one of life’s greatest rewards. Whether you mentor a young professional at your place of work, a college student from your alma mater, or even your own children, mentoring will bring about great satisfaction in life and will allow you to learn and grow. In order to be successful mentors to whomever we may be mentoring, I have three suggestion or techniques we can use that will allow us to have the greatest impact possible on the lives of those we are guiding.

#1 Don’t Worry but Believe.

We must not worry or fret over the progress or success of our mentee but instead we must believe in them. This does not mean that we do not care about their success but instead it simply means we are sending the message that we have trust in them and that we accept the fact that we cannot force them to do anything. Therefore, rather than worry, what a mentee really needs is someone who believes in them.

As mentors, we can do this by helping to expand the vision of those we are teaching and by assisting them in recognizing their own strengths. We can help them see the endless possibilities that stand before them. We can motivate them to challenge and stretch themselves and we can help them feel secure that we will support them through failure and triumph. Demonstrating that we believe in them can make all the difference to young and eager individuals as they strive to reach their goals.

#2 Don’t Fix but Guide.

When our mentees are faced with challenges, often the temptation is to immediately offer solutions in order to eliminate the problem. Instead, we must wait patiently while helping the mentee think through their own difficulties. We should not provide an easy way out for them but on the contrary, we should help them learn important lessons by working through their problems. As mentors, rarely if ever should we intervene with the difficulties our mentees are facing. Instead, we can offer subtle nudges in the right direction. This will allow us to support their personal growth and confidence.

#3 Take the High Road

Though at times it may be difficult, as mentors we must always take the high road and do what is right by avoiding any form of dishonesty, or questionable behavior. When faced with ethical dilemmas, difficult circumstances, intense pressures, etc., encourage mentees to always take the high road by doing so yourself. Our example as mentors will have a lasting and powerful impact on the people we mentor. Setting a good example will allow our mentees to mirror our behavior with confidence. Taking the high road in all instances is important to successful mentorship.

As we develop these successful mentor qualities we will certainly have a lasting impact on those we are mentoring and we feel a great sense of personal satisfaction. Whether it’s a colleague, a student, or even our own child, mentorship is worth the small sacrifices. And, as we intentionally mentor others, we will become great leaders.