Lesson of Two Marshmallows

Recently I read an interesting article in The New Yorker by Jonah Lehrer about a study with children and marshmallows. The research project’s intent in the beginning was somewhat vague however it developed into a study on self-control. During the study, children had placed before them a marshmallow and were told not to eat it. They were also told that if they did not eat the marshmallow, they could have two marshmallows to eat when the researcher returned. Of the 650ish participants, only 30% waited long enough to receive an additional marshmallow. Though uncertain what this study meant initially, later in life it was discovered that those who demonstrated the ability to wait, or be patient, were much more successful in life. (ie. better grades in school, better paying jobs, good/stable careers, healthier, happier with life.)

So what does this mean for us?! It means if we can learn to be patient and put off gratification, we can improve our ability to be successful. Patience is a virtue that is tremendously hard to develop in our “I want what I want and I want it now” society. The ability to be instantly gratified is becoming easier and easier with technology, easy credit, etc. Yet, learning to be patient and putting our desires on hold for a time—can be extremely valuable.

One example we see often in life is when two young people graduate from high school and set off on two different courses. Both need and want money but one chooses to start working while the other decides to sacrifice his current wants and needs in order to go to college. In the beginning, the one working seems to be enjoying life with a little bit of money, food, and time to spend with friends while the other feels broke, tired, and overwhelmed in school. In that brief moment, the one working is richer and perhaps more successful. Fast forward 10 years however and the one who went to college finds himself with a much higher paying more exciting job with a better education and opportunities for the future while the other one remains in his lower-paying dead end job. In the end the one who sacrificed in the beginning discovers that patience and self-sacrifice paid off.

Being patient is not easy as it requires self-discipline and active persistence. This includes actively working toward goals even when results do not come instantly. It includes continually putting forth great effort even when the current outcome does not seem worth it. It includes delaying immediate gratification for future results. It includes staying the course while others seemingly are finding success now. If we can do these things though as the marshmallow study proved, we will be more successful in life.

Thus, the marshmallow study is a lesson for life. Often we have the opportunity to cease what we want right now but by so doing we sacrifice long-term success and better results. If we can learn to focus on the future and think about how a decision today may impact us tomorrow, we can better wait and be patient in order to ensure we receive two marshmallows.

A Critical Secret to Success

One of the most critical aspects of life that is often undervalued is the power of our simple daily decisions. Too often we believe simple choices are unimportant or irrelevant to our big dreams. For example, we fail to connect how eating an unhealthy snack today may contribute to our poor health tomorrow or how our wasted time today will impact our results in the future. It is important to know that small choices accumulate and overtime become our success or our grief.

Everyday small decisions are the road map to our success as they steer us indisputably toward our destiny. If we learn to make good simple decisions daily and consistently, overtime it will produce great results. This is an undeniable fact. Each day we are capable of making small yet exceptional choices that will shape our future in a positive way. As Robert K. Cooper explained in his book The Other 90%, “although we may dream about our future in splendid images, we must live our lives in practical everyday actions, one after another.” These actions are the bedrock for happiness and success.

Our life is not mostly shaped by an occasional large decision that may come our way from time to time, but rather by our daily small decisions. It’s in small decisions where success and failures are won. And as we make good small daily decisions, it will become easier and easier to make good large decisions when they do come.

Indeed it has been said that if we tell a man what we are doing today, he will be able to tell us the person we will be tomorrow. What we are doing right now matters! However small or insignificant right now seems, it matters!

So let’s start today, right now, to be conscious of our daily small decisions and believe they hold the key to our future. For what we do today, right now, will determine who we become tomorrow.

The Other 90% Rewind

“Most people live in a very restricted circle of their potential being. We all have reservoirs of energy and genius to draw upon of which we do not dream.”
Robert K. Cooper

The Other 90% by Robert K. Cooper is a great book because it is so inspirational, and it encourages us to be so much more than we already are. I just completed reading it for the 2nd time, and I wish to share some of the important things that stuck out to me this time around.

#1

First, the author believes we only use 10 percent of our true potential. So think about who you are and what you have accomplished in life. I’m sure each of us has overcome some pretty incredible obstacles in life and has accomplished some pretty amazing things. Now imagine this is only 1/10th of what we are capable of accomplishing! Each of us has greatness inside of us. Bringing out that greatness is the difficult part, but we must believe we can be more, do more, and live life more. This book challenges us to raise our awareness and vision of who we really are and what we can become, and then it dares us to do it!

#2

Second, we must value others. We are in this life together to learn and grow by helping, caring, and loving one another. Thus, the book challenges us to make a conscious effort to show we truly value others. We must trust them, love them, and care about them more than we believe we have to or even want to. When we do this, our lives expand and our satisfaction and happiness in life increase--allowing us to become more than what we currently are. The author urges us to leave a legacy by loving others.

#3

Lastly, we are unique, and we have control of our lives. We have ownership over our lives, and we can determine our success and failures. The author believes our life is one-of-a-kind and that each of us has an individual and unique contribution that only we can make to this world. Thus the book challenges us to do all we can to fulfill that purpose and to believe we are special. No one ever has been nor ever will be exactly like you. Thus no one can impact this world in the same way you can!

The Other 90% is a great book that challenges us to be so much more than we already are. I encourage all of us to believe in our incredible capacities, value others, and take ownership of our one-of-a-kind life.