Leadership and Self-Deception Rewind

Have you ever wondered why you never seem to get anywhere with some people? Does it seem that many of your most important relationships are constant battles? Do you feel like you have to put up with people? Do you need solutions for your people problems? Well, if you have not taken the opportunity to read Leadership and Self-Deception by the Arbinger Institute, do it!! This book will give you answers to all of those questions. If we are able to apply the book’s teachings, we will be amazing people and have much success and happiness in our relationships with others.

“Self-deception actually determines one’s experience in every aspect of life.”

As stated in the book, the number one reason for conflict and people problems is because of self-deception. Self-deception is essentially when we create our own reality and focus on ourselves. When we do this, two things happen. First, we don’t see we are part of the problem and second, we tend to treat people like objects rather than people. When we are self-deceived we also tend to inflate our own virtue and values as well as inflate the faults and weaknesses of others. Sadly, most of us spend most of our time self-deceived. And this self-deception causes a vicious cycle that kills productivity, causes frustration, and destroys relationships.

We must avoid ‘actively resisting what the humanity of others calls us to do for them.’

So how do we overcome it? It is not easy but it is possible. All of us are human beings and thus, we have desires to help others. How many of us walking down the street would not run to the aid of a child who we observe falling off his bike? This book teaches us that when we have those feelings to help others, we must act on them. When we don’t, we betray ourselves. When we betray ourselves, we look for ways to justify what we have done so that we can feel good about ourselves. This process often leads us to desire the exact opposite of what we really want. When we learn however to act on these feelings of humanity rather than betraying ourselves, we find that we are able to see things clearly and treat people as people.

In a nutshell, the key teaching of the book is that we must focus on others rather than ourselves and when we do, we invite others to respond in the same way. So, if we can truly focus on others, and see them as equals to us, our people problems will melt away, and our relationships with them will be strengthened.

In order to fully appreciate and embrace these ideas, one must read the book. The book is an excellent source for helping us reach our potential as leaders and as people. For more information and to purchase the book click here…

A Secret to Success

Recently I was asked what has been the secret to my success in my career. Many things came to my mind and perhaps my first answer would be that I’ve been blessed to have been surrounded by great people who have helped me along my path. The next thought that came to my mind was consistency. I’ve seen in my own career that when I am consistent, success comes. There is power in consistency that is somewhat hard to explain or fully appreciate. However, below are 5 ways how consistency leads us down the path of success.

#1 Reduces Uncertainty

There is a lot of uncertainty in life which causes fear and impedes us from being the best we can be. Being consistent produces a level of predictability in life that controls fear and allows us to better focus on what’s important. When we are consistent, we can eliminate much of the uncertainty and fear that surrounds us and we can minimize the effects of the natural ups and downs we all have in life. Consistency in many ways solidifies our success.

#2 Good Habits

Consistency results in the development of good habits that help us to be successful. When we are inconsistent, it is hard for us to develop patterns of success in our life. When we learn to be consistent in our thoughts and actions, we in turn develop good habits that propel us toward success.

#3 Unique

Being consistent is a unique quality. In life, whether in action, emotions, habits, or thought, it seems most people are “all over the map.” Thus, when we can discipline ourselves to be consistent we will stand out. Those who are consistent quickly gain respect and credibility from others and I believe have a greater advantage in effectively leading others.

#4 Control

Whether true or not, those who are consistent seem to be more in control then others. I also believe that consistency helps us to realize that we can control our own destiny. When we are inconsistent, it can often seem that our results are out of our hands. Being consistent boost our confidence as it helps us realize that we control our outcomes.

#5 Pay off

Consistency eventually pays off. Though results may not be immediate, when we are consistent, sooner or later we will see results. Many people fail to stick with things long enough to reap the rewards of their efforts. Disciplining ourselves to be consistent and stick with it will surely push us toward success.

Now a rule of warning. Consistency does not mean we fail to change or try new things. Rather the consistency I am talking about is deeper then that. It is consistency in our effort, in our ability to control our thoughts, in our ability to be creative, and in our ability to act. In fact, I believe those who are consistent are more readily able to try something new and to successfully adjust to change.

Though in theory the idea that merely being consistent can have a significant impact on our results in life seems simplistic and perhaps inconsequential, I’ve personally experienced its effectiveness and power. And, disciplining ourselves to be consistent is not an easy task. If we can learn to be consistent we will reduce uncertainty, develop good habits, stand out, control our destiny, and reap rewards for our efforts. There is true power in consistency and I believe consistency can lead us all to greater success in life.

Rules of the Red Rubber Ball

“Following your red rubber ball will not always seem like a rational pursuit. It will not always be a path you can justify to others, or yourself. Doubt is to be expected but not obeyed.”
Kevin Carroll

If you are looking for a very short inspirational book, then Rules of the Red Rubber Ball written by Kevin Carroll is perfect for you.

The idea behind the book is simply this: we all have a true passion or love for something in life and that is our red rubber ball. Once we discover what our red rubber ball is in life, we should seek after it and pursue it all the days of our life. In doing this, we will discover great satisfaction and happiness.

I agree with the author that life is short and that we need to do what is most important to us. I was reminded when reading this book that when we fail to focus on what matters most to us, we fail to live life to its fullest. Thus, when we have a true passion for something, we should do whatever it takes to do it!

The author talks about some rules also that we must obey to successfully pursue our red rubber ball. These include committing to it, seeking out encouragers, being creative, preparing for success, speaking up, expecting the unexpected, and maximizing our time. Through illustrations from his own life, the author offers advice and examples of how these items can help us stay true to and pursue our dreams.

For the author, his red rubber ball was sports—and following this love for sports allowed him to do what he loved to do. His secret for knowing when we are truly following our red rubber ball is when others cannot distinguish between our work and play. And in order to get to this point, we must courageously seek and stay true to our red rubber ball.

In the end, the book Rules of the Red Rubber Ball is a very good, simple, and quick read for anyone who is looking for a little bit of motivation or inspiration. As the author suggested, we should all follow our dreams and passions in life in order to truly find success and happiness. Follow that ball!!
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See how I rank this book

Avoiding the Unwanted New Year Tradition

So it’s a New Year—time to celebrate and then become depressed! At least that is what happens to many of us as we leave the glow of the Holidays and enter the gloom of the real world once again. And reality this time of year is sometimes extra grim with one of the coldest months in the year coupled with short days and little daylight. After the Holiday high with family and fun it is very common to feel at least a twinge of sadness as the New Year begins. We however do not have to succumb to the annual January slump. Below is a list of ideas that will work not only to help us survive January but also to thrive in it—making it a happy and successful start to a wonderful new year.

#1 Make a Plan

January is a perfect time to do planning for the entire year. Make a plan of action for the year with milestones you hope to accomplish, trips you plan to take, and fun times you plan to have. This may include plans for a summer vacation, your son’s birthday party in May, or the valentine’s gift you hope to give. This also may include benchmarks and progress your making toward achieving New Year’s resolutions. Right down anything and everything you are looking forward to during this New Year and start working towards them and planning them. Doing this will get you excited for all that is to come and help you see all that you have to look forward to during the year.

#2 Exercise

Often during the Holidays we over-eat, over-sleep, and over sit making us less active than normal. Thus, a great way to avoid the January blues is to get moving, become active, and exercise. Sometimes we regret the diet decisions we made during the holidays but we don’t need to dwell on them now, we just need to get moving! A book I read recently mentioned that ‘when our body is active our mind becomes free.’ I have found that exercise improves how I feel about myself and increases my energy and enthusiasm for life.

#3 Set Short Goals

The New Year is often the time we set goals for the year but to defeat the January blues, we can set short-term January goals. What do we want to achieve this January? What do we hope to accomplish? By setting these short-term goals and tracking our progress on achieving them we can stay better engaged and focused on the success we are having rather than dwelling on the miserable weather.

#4 Serve Someone

During the Holidays it is common for us to be focused on helping others. Whether it is donating to a charitable cause, picking out the perfect gift for someone we love, or volunteering our time to bring others cheer we often dwell on others rather than ourselves. In January our attention is often refocused on ourselves causing us to feel empty and even depressed. For this reason, one great way to overcome a January slump is to help others. Instead of returning our thoughts and energy back to ourselves look for ways to help others. Whatever it might be whether big or small looking to lift others up will only lift us as well.

#5 Get Sun

So the sun tends to disappear this time of year but whenever you do see it, take full advantage of it by opening the blinds and pulling the shutters. It has been proven that natural light can boost our mode and increase our energy. So when the sun is out, take full advantage of it!

These are a few simple tips that will work in helping us start this New Year off with a bang and avoid the January blues. As we do these things throughout the year or whenever we are feeling a little down, our spirits will be lifted and our energy and enthusiasm will be renewed. So let’s avoid the January slump this year and make the New Year as successful as possible from day one! Good luck and Happy New Year!