“Our failure is not because of a lack of ability but most often because of a lack of conviction. Don’t be afraid to put your whole heart in to something you want to achieve.”
Have you ever wondered why you can’t seem to accomplish those things that you desire most in life? Many times we blame our failure at reaching our goals on our lack of ability. We think I am just not talented enough, or smart enough, or lucky enough to attain what I’d like to achieve in life. The truth is however that most often we do not lack the ability to accomplish our goals, rather we lack the conviction to realize them.
Faith in oneself is so critical to success in life. In fact half the battle in accomplishing our goals and dreams is simply believing that we can. Until we believe, and I mean truly believe, most likely it will never happen. Without a true belief in ourselves, it becomes difficult for us to throw our whole heart into what we are doing. And accomplishing something great nearly always requires our whole heart and energy.
Sometimes we fail to believe or to throw our whole heart in to something because of fear. We fear we might fail. By not putting our whole heart in to something we retain the ability to have excuses when we don’t attain our goal. It becomes so much easier for us to deal with failure by saying ‘oh it wasn’t really that big of a deal’, or ‘I didn’t really try’ or ‘I didn’t want it to interfere with other things in my life.’ Making these kinds of excuses and failing to put our whole heart in to whatever we are trying to accomplish however leaves us empty and unsatisfied. And in the worst cases, it can lead to depression. Thus we cannot afford not to put our whole heart in to what we are doing and even if we fail, we always feel much better about what we have done.
Most of us have goals and things we are trying to accomplish at home, at work, and elsewhere. Putting our whole heart and having true conviction for those things we are trying to accomplish in every aspect of our life makes things sweeter and more enjoyable. Like baking our favorite pie and then never eating it, working toward something without true conviction will leave us unfulfilled. Thus in everything we do, we owe it to ourselves and to others to put our whole heart in to it. And I’ve learned that when we work with conviction in one area of our life, it will help us have conviction and be more successful in other areas of our life. Give it a try.
Unfortunately it has been my experience in life that many people do not put their whole heart in to what they are involved in. And many make excuses as to why they do not but ultimately it is up to us to decide. Regardless of the excuses only we keep ourselves from applying our whole self in to what we are doing and denying ourselves of the satisfaction that comes with such effort. It has also been my experience that those who put their whole heart in to everything they do enjoy a much higher level of satisfaction and success in life.
Thus, we can’t blame our inability in accomplishing our goals on our lack of ability. Instead, we must measure our conviction when striving to achieve them. Do we truly want them? Is our heart in it? If not, than we need to evaluate what we are doing and either change courses so that we can work with conviction or stay the course with a determination to be committed to attaining our goals. I believe this simple truth can have a profound impact on our success in life.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Are you a Critic, Cheerleader, or Coach?
In life, each of us has the opportunity to positively or negatively impact the people around us through our actions and our “ways of being” toward them. I’ve determined that typically we fall into three categories of how we influence and interact with others. I’ve also learned that we can be in different categories at different times toward the same person based on the given situation and that we may be typically in one category toward one person, such as our spouse, and typically in another category toward another person, such as a friend. No category is necessarily good or bad as all can potentially be both simply based on the situation and how we handle ourselves. Learning to know when to be each one in dealing with different situations and different people is the tricky part but doing so effectively can lead to great success in building relationships and motivating others. Below are the categories we typically fall in to when influencing others.
The Critic
First is the critic. The critic is constantly finding what is wrong. He points out faults, is careful not to make mistakes himself or show any weaknesses, and he judges and makes assumptions often. The critic is often someone that seems a little distant or closed minded. The critic is often harsh, deflating, and usually seems to be in an unpleasant mood. The critic seems oblivious to any good. As you can guess, many people do not like being around the critic but the critic can challenge us to view ourselves honestly and help us improve. There may be times when we all need critics to be our best. If not careful, being the critic often can potentially have a very negative impact on others.
The Cheerleader
Second is the cheerleader. The cheerleader is constantly cheering others on. Unlike the critic, the cheerleader points out only the good and ignores the bad. The cheerleader is nearly always positive and can inspire us to be better. The cheerleader has a way of being positive regardless if things are going good or bad. It may come as a surprise but the cheerleader can have both a positive and negative affect on others based on the situation and person because at times the cheerleader can create a false sense of reality and impede us from facing the brutal facts. Most of us like the cheerleader and want to be around them and many of us can use cheerleaders to help us through difficult times.
The Coach
Third is the coach. The coach is honest, open, and rational. The coach sees the bad and wants to help correct it but he also applauds the good frequently. The coach sacrifices for the good of others, sometimes risking short-term gains, friendships, and moments for long-term results. At times a coach can be annoying and challenging to work with but in the end, the coach is usually well liked and respected. The coach most often has a positive impact on others but not always. The coach can drive people to great results while helping them to feel good about their accomplishments.
Which way of being are we most often toward others? How about towards those we care about most in life? Analyzing these three categories can help us in our relationships and in our ability to be better leaders. At times people may need a critic, at times a cheerleader and at times a coach. Learning to know how and when to effectively be all three at different times and in different situations will greatly help us to be excellent relationship builders and outstanding leaders. Good luck!
The Critic
First is the critic. The critic is constantly finding what is wrong. He points out faults, is careful not to make mistakes himself or show any weaknesses, and he judges and makes assumptions often. The critic is often someone that seems a little distant or closed minded. The critic is often harsh, deflating, and usually seems to be in an unpleasant mood. The critic seems oblivious to any good. As you can guess, many people do not like being around the critic but the critic can challenge us to view ourselves honestly and help us improve. There may be times when we all need critics to be our best. If not careful, being the critic often can potentially have a very negative impact on others.
The Cheerleader
Second is the cheerleader. The cheerleader is constantly cheering others on. Unlike the critic, the cheerleader points out only the good and ignores the bad. The cheerleader is nearly always positive and can inspire us to be better. The cheerleader has a way of being positive regardless if things are going good or bad. It may come as a surprise but the cheerleader can have both a positive and negative affect on others based on the situation and person because at times the cheerleader can create a false sense of reality and impede us from facing the brutal facts. Most of us like the cheerleader and want to be around them and many of us can use cheerleaders to help us through difficult times.
The Coach
Third is the coach. The coach is honest, open, and rational. The coach sees the bad and wants to help correct it but he also applauds the good frequently. The coach sacrifices for the good of others, sometimes risking short-term gains, friendships, and moments for long-term results. At times a coach can be annoying and challenging to work with but in the end, the coach is usually well liked and respected. The coach most often has a positive impact on others but not always. The coach can drive people to great results while helping them to feel good about their accomplishments.
Which way of being are we most often toward others? How about towards those we care about most in life? Analyzing these three categories can help us in our relationships and in our ability to be better leaders. At times people may need a critic, at times a cheerleader and at times a coach. Learning to know how and when to effectively be all three at different times and in different situations will greatly help us to be excellent relationship builders and outstanding leaders. Good luck!
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Burntham Rewind: Wickedly Successful
This blog was originally posted on Burntham.com March 24, 2010.
Recently while visiting New York I had the opportunity to attend the Broadway musical Wicked. The show was extremely entertaining and I loved it! One of the reasons I enjoyed it so much is because I feel there are a lot of important life lesson taught in the play. Today I would like to share four life lessons that can be learned from Wicked.
# 1 “Dancing Through Life”
One of the main characters in the show claims and encourages others to “dance through life.” Essentially what he means by this is that people should not worry about their actions or take anything in life seriously. In fact this character suggests that life is essentially pointless and believes the only way to live is to do whatever you feel like doing at any given moment. Unfortunately, I believe many in life retain this philosophy and fail to realize that living like this usually results in unhappiness and failure. Contrary to this characters belief, life has consequences. For this reason, we should be very conscious about our actions and decisions. Good decisions and actions lead to success and happiness where poor decisions and actions lead to failure and frustration. Further in the story, this character learns that what he once believed about life is not true, and he changes. He learns that life’s choices do have consequences and impact our results and happiness in life.
#2 “Accepting Limits”
At one point in the story the main character has an epiphany, and she realizes she had been limiting herself based on “societal boundaries” and what others told her she could and could not do. Many times we believe what society or others say about our abilities or possibilities as well, and thus we allow them to limit us—to prevent us from achieving greatness. Like this character, we must realize our future is “unlimited”, and we have the ability to achieve whatever we set our hearts to. Much like this character, we must come to believe in ourselves and realize we can “defy gravity” by accomplishing our dreams and goals. We can truly do amazing things when we overcome perceived limits or roadblocks that often only exist in our minds.
#3 “Be Careful What you Wish For”
Another character in the show receives presumably everything she ever wanted, yet she realizes there is still an emptiness inside or a lack of satisfaction. The reason is she selfishly went about obtaining the desires of her heart while disregarding all others. Thus, in the process of obtaining her number one objective, she sacrificed other things that were more important to her. Once she comes to this realization, she is very sorrowful and realizes perhaps her number one goal was not worth the cost. We can learn from her example by evaluating our goals to ensure they are inline with what is most important to us--so we don’t look back and regret what we sacrificed to obtain what we thought seemed important but really isn’t. We can also learn that although we can accomplish anything we set our heart to, it should never be at the expense of others. Finally, we can learn that to truly be successful and happy we must often put others first; and when we do, good things happen.
#4 “Things are Not as they Seem”
The overall lesson of this show is that things are not always as they seem. In the show, which is a spinoff from the Wizard of Oz, we learn that the supposed Wicked Witch of the West was not wicked at all, and that the “good” witch was not as good as perception would indicate. Thus, we can learn we must not be quick to assume or pass judgment; for often perception is not reality, and what we believe to be true may be just the opposite. Thus, we should learn that whenever possible we must be careful and strive to obtain facts before jumping to conclusions or passing harsh judgments on others unjustly. For often times, things are not as they seem.
Wicked is a great show with many great important life lessons that we can learn from. If we will strive to do more than simply dance through life, if we will believe our future is unlimited, if we will be careful of what we wish for, and if we will seek first to understand and not judge, our lives will be happier and we will be wickedly successful.
Recently while visiting New York I had the opportunity to attend the Broadway musical Wicked. The show was extremely entertaining and I loved it! One of the reasons I enjoyed it so much is because I feel there are a lot of important life lesson taught in the play. Today I would like to share four life lessons that can be learned from Wicked.
# 1 “Dancing Through Life”
One of the main characters in the show claims and encourages others to “dance through life.” Essentially what he means by this is that people should not worry about their actions or take anything in life seriously. In fact this character suggests that life is essentially pointless and believes the only way to live is to do whatever you feel like doing at any given moment. Unfortunately, I believe many in life retain this philosophy and fail to realize that living like this usually results in unhappiness and failure. Contrary to this characters belief, life has consequences. For this reason, we should be very conscious about our actions and decisions. Good decisions and actions lead to success and happiness where poor decisions and actions lead to failure and frustration. Further in the story, this character learns that what he once believed about life is not true, and he changes. He learns that life’s choices do have consequences and impact our results and happiness in life.
#2 “Accepting Limits”
At one point in the story the main character has an epiphany, and she realizes she had been limiting herself based on “societal boundaries” and what others told her she could and could not do. Many times we believe what society or others say about our abilities or possibilities as well, and thus we allow them to limit us—to prevent us from achieving greatness. Like this character, we must realize our future is “unlimited”, and we have the ability to achieve whatever we set our hearts to. Much like this character, we must come to believe in ourselves and realize we can “defy gravity” by accomplishing our dreams and goals. We can truly do amazing things when we overcome perceived limits or roadblocks that often only exist in our minds.
#3 “Be Careful What you Wish For”
Another character in the show receives presumably everything she ever wanted, yet she realizes there is still an emptiness inside or a lack of satisfaction. The reason is she selfishly went about obtaining the desires of her heart while disregarding all others. Thus, in the process of obtaining her number one objective, she sacrificed other things that were more important to her. Once she comes to this realization, she is very sorrowful and realizes perhaps her number one goal was not worth the cost. We can learn from her example by evaluating our goals to ensure they are inline with what is most important to us--so we don’t look back and regret what we sacrificed to obtain what we thought seemed important but really isn’t. We can also learn that although we can accomplish anything we set our heart to, it should never be at the expense of others. Finally, we can learn that to truly be successful and happy we must often put others first; and when we do, good things happen.
#4 “Things are Not as they Seem”
The overall lesson of this show is that things are not always as they seem. In the show, which is a spinoff from the Wizard of Oz, we learn that the supposed Wicked Witch of the West was not wicked at all, and that the “good” witch was not as good as perception would indicate. Thus, we can learn we must not be quick to assume or pass judgment; for often perception is not reality, and what we believe to be true may be just the opposite. Thus, we should learn that whenever possible we must be careful and strive to obtain facts before jumping to conclusions or passing harsh judgments on others unjustly. For often times, things are not as they seem.
Wicked is a great show with many great important life lessons that we can learn from. If we will strive to do more than simply dance through life, if we will believe our future is unlimited, if we will be careful of what we wish for, and if we will seek first to understand and not judge, our lives will be happier and we will be wickedly successful.
Thursday, September 1, 2011
Burntham Rewind: Surviving and Thriving in Difficult Times
This blog was originally posted on Burntham.com November 26,2008.
“When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.”
Ralph Emerson
With our economy in peril, unemployment rates rising, and war raging around the world, it is easy to understand why so many people find themselves in a state of shock, fear, and confusion. Feelings of despair and hopelessness can easily consume us and destroy us during difficult times if we allow them to. However, we do not need to be defeated during difficult times. In fact, we can choose to thrive! Really, the choice is ours.
During the most difficult and desperate times in our lives, rather than despair, we need to increase our hope by taking action and pressing forward. We must not allow despair and fear to cripple us to “in-action”, but instead we must take action! In fact, we can get excited during difficult times, because they present us with the greatest opportunities for personal growth and success. Having perseverance and hope during difficult times will help us to succeed even in the most perilous times of our lives.
Perseverance
The old adage of “press on” has never been more important to each of us. As leaders, we must keep our heads held high and move forward with quiet determination and perseverance in spite of what may be going on around us. Setting goals, nurturing our hope and confidence, and surrounding ourselves with a positive support group will help us to persevere. Those who are most persistent and have the will to take action time and time again despite difficult circumstances are those people who are most successful in life. Never giving up through perseverance is essential during times of difficulty.
Hope
There is reason to have hope as well. When times are tough it is time to grow. I recently read that in Chinese, the word “crisis” is written by using two characters that represent danger and opportunity. Difficult situations may be dangerous, but they present us with an opportunity to show our resolve and push ourselves to greater achievements. Just as “smooth seas do not make skillful sailors,” a life without challenges does not produce a great person. History is full of tough times and major setbacks, and it is also full of people who overcame extreme challenges to come out on top. Indeed, many people have made their mark on history by taking action during their most dire circumstances. Hope and action are critical to success during difficult times!
In the end, the personal problems we may be facing and the challenges of our country and our world are not a reason to fear and despair, but they are instead a call to action—a challenge to each of us to do better, to push ourselves, to try harder, work smarter, and be prepared. We must persevere and retain hope by taking action each day to better our situation. We must prove we’ve not given up or given in by our lack of action, but instead we must go and do! With hope, action, and perseverance, we will be able to ride out challenging times in our lives and come out better than ever before. The choice is ours!
“When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.”
Ralph Emerson
With our economy in peril, unemployment rates rising, and war raging around the world, it is easy to understand why so many people find themselves in a state of shock, fear, and confusion. Feelings of despair and hopelessness can easily consume us and destroy us during difficult times if we allow them to. However, we do not need to be defeated during difficult times. In fact, we can choose to thrive! Really, the choice is ours.
During the most difficult and desperate times in our lives, rather than despair, we need to increase our hope by taking action and pressing forward. We must not allow despair and fear to cripple us to “in-action”, but instead we must take action! In fact, we can get excited during difficult times, because they present us with the greatest opportunities for personal growth and success. Having perseverance and hope during difficult times will help us to succeed even in the most perilous times of our lives.
Perseverance
The old adage of “press on” has never been more important to each of us. As leaders, we must keep our heads held high and move forward with quiet determination and perseverance in spite of what may be going on around us. Setting goals, nurturing our hope and confidence, and surrounding ourselves with a positive support group will help us to persevere. Those who are most persistent and have the will to take action time and time again despite difficult circumstances are those people who are most successful in life. Never giving up through perseverance is essential during times of difficulty.
Hope
There is reason to have hope as well. When times are tough it is time to grow. I recently read that in Chinese, the word “crisis” is written by using two characters that represent danger and opportunity. Difficult situations may be dangerous, but they present us with an opportunity to show our resolve and push ourselves to greater achievements. Just as “smooth seas do not make skillful sailors,” a life without challenges does not produce a great person. History is full of tough times and major setbacks, and it is also full of people who overcame extreme challenges to come out on top. Indeed, many people have made their mark on history by taking action during their most dire circumstances. Hope and action are critical to success during difficult times!
In the end, the personal problems we may be facing and the challenges of our country and our world are not a reason to fear and despair, but they are instead a call to action—a challenge to each of us to do better, to push ourselves, to try harder, work smarter, and be prepared. We must persevere and retain hope by taking action each day to better our situation. We must prove we’ve not given up or given in by our lack of action, but instead we must go and do! With hope, action, and perseverance, we will be able to ride out challenging times in our lives and come out better than ever before. The choice is ours!
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