Success in Leading Others

“The man who cannot control himself can never control others.”
Napoleon Hill

There is a very obvious key to success in leadership and that is to be the type of leader you yourself would want to follow.  Think about this for a minute.  What kind of people do you follow in life or have you learned from and followed at some time in your life?  What made you follow them?  Do you possess those same traits?  Do you do those same things, or try to be like the people you’ve followed?  We’ve all been inspired by others, so do we try to learn from others?  

Too often, if we are honest with ourselves, the answer is no.  The truth is, it is extremely difficult to be the type of people we ourselves would like to follow.  We often know what others like in a leader, we know what makes a good leader, we know the things that will help us be more effective, yet we just can’t seem to consistently do them.  Having the discipline to be that type of leader is rare indeed, but it is always worth the effort to get there, and it can be done.

Too often we get upset with people when they do not follow our lead or do what we ask but usually, we are the guilty ones as in most instances, if our leaders behaved the way we did, we would probably have a similar reaction.  Learning to lead others by being an example to them and being the type of person you yourself would admire, respect, and follow is an important part to becoming a great leader. 

So though we may not be perfect, we should be striving to lead the way we’d like to be led.  We should embrace those actions, traits, behaviors, etc. that people we’ve followed, that we truly enjoyed following, had.  If we are finding it difficult to lead others, this simple idea may be our breakthrough.  This simple thought of sincerely trying to be the person we would want to follow may turn around our success as leaders.  All we have to do is embrace it, and honestly take action and make a concerted effort to be better. 

I know we have the potential and capacity within us to do this.  We can be the person we ourselves would follow! 

The Most Important Trait for Leaders

This is a wonderful time of year when many of us soften our hearts, slow down, and give thanks for all of our many blessings in life.  During this Thanksgiving season I’d like to focus on a leadership trait which is perhaps the absolute most important to possess in order to become a great leader yet is seldom talked about and discussed.  In fact, this trait would probably be towards the bottom of the list when labeling the qualities of history’s great leaders yet most of them possessed it.  And I am convinced that this trait is perhaps the most significant and important to a leader’s success.  The trait is humility. 

In leadership, humility can be very rare as many leaders allow their position to enlarge their ego making them think they may be superior to those they lead.  Humility on the other hand has no arrogance or proudness, deflects ego, and gives credit to others whenever there is success.  Humble leaders shun attention and are never boastful.   Humble leaders therefore stand out and inspire others to follow because of their humility.     

Humility is often what separates the great leaders from simply the good.  Arrogance and pride often leads to a leader’s demise.  Leaders who possess humility on the other hand earn and keep the trust and respect of those who follow them.  One reason is because humility allows leaders to focus on what is most important rather than on who is most important.  

Because of the scarcity of it among leaders, those who are truly humble are instantly unique.  Those who are humble do not focus on themselves but rather on others.   Humility makes decision making clearer as arrogance or pride can cloud our vision.  Humility opens doors for leaders that would otherwise stay closed because it permits leaders to be open-minded and seek the best solutions rather than simply protecting their point of view.

Many people associate humility with meekness or weakness but in great leaders, it is a source of strength.  Rather than feeling the need to toot their own horn frequently, they instead have the discipline to work hard and quietly get results without the need of parading their accomplishments around.  Humble leaders are secure with who they are and do not require recognition from others.

Finally, humility makes a leader more grateful for others and helps them recognize the great contribution of others toward their success.  No leader has ever gained success without help from many. 

This Thanksgiving season I encourage all of us to practice just a little more humility.  Find ways to listen to others point of view, avoid being boastful, give sincere thanks as often as possible, and try saying “you are right.”  As we learn to be humble, our leadership capabilities will greatly expand and our influence for good will increase.  Happy Thanksgiving.    

Why Wait!

One of the weaknesses of mankind, especially in our day and age is our tendency toward procrastination.   No matter who we are or how good we are at getting things done all of us in some form or from one time to another procrastinates…and many of us have made it a habit.  So why don’t we do things right away when we know they need to be done?  Why are we not constantly engaged in activities that will bring us success and happiness in life?  Below are what I believe to be the top three reasons for our tendency to procrastinate. 

#1 Fear

We often allow fear to delay our actions.  Whether it because we are afraid we won’t succeed or afraid of what others might think many times we put things off because of fear.  And often times this fear will not go away until we act.  Allowing fear to dictate our actions leads us down an unrewarding path.    Procrastinating because of fear hinders our ability to find success and satisfaction in life. 

#2 Lazy

Procrastination is often due to pure laziness.  We know there is work to be done be instead we choose to indulge in things that may bring immediate and temporary delight but really provides us with no long lasting sense of satisfaction and accomplishment.  Often we put things off because we know they will be hard, unpleasant, or at the very least less exciting than what other options may offer to us at the time.  The sad thing is this often keeps us from the doing the things that matter most and causes us to fall short of our goals       

#3 Ignorance 

Sometimes procrastination is simply done out of ignorance or habit.  We procrastinate not fully understanding what may be most important to do at any given time or procrastinate simply without realizing we are doing it.  Perhaps we may not understand the value of each moment of our life or we may not know how to properly maximize or prioritize our precious time. Failing to have plans, goals, and a vision in place, or truly understanding what is most important to us in life can lead to this type of procrastination.  Procrastination due to ignorance results in aimlessly wandering from task to task without ever really accomplishing much.  To overcome this type of procrastination we must frequently ask ourselves what can I do right now to help me best achieve my goals, and then do it.       

In the end, no matter the reasons, procrastination nearly always leads to regret, disappointment, and lower self-confidence.  Thus it is important for us to know three of the most common reasons why we procrastinate and then try to recognize them in our life and work to overcome them.  We need to ask ourselves why wait when we know we have a task at hand or things to be completed that will help us achieve our goals and purpose in life.  When we act immediately, rather than wait or delay, we will gain much greater levels of respect, success, confidence, and satisfaction in life.  

A Jar, Some Sand, and A lot of Rocks

A wise, old teacher placed three items in front of her students on a table—a jar, a bag full of sand, and a large handful of rocks.   The teacher peered over her reading glasses at the students and issued a challenge to her class.  The challenge was to try and fit all of the rocks and all of the sand in to the clear jar.  The young students doubted it would all cram in to the small jar but they could tell their teacher was serious and wanted them to try.  So the class quickly followed their first inclinations and poured the sand easily in to the jar and then tried to force in the rocks.  They soon discovered they were right as they could only force about half of the rocks in to the jar on top of sand.  The teacher then emptied the jar and asked if the class would like to try again however the students insisted it was impossible.  After all they had tried it once and it didn’t work so why even attempt to do it again?

To the amazement of her class, the teacher disappointingly said, “students, both the rocks and the sand can fit in the jar.” She could tell the students still doubted her so she proved it by first squeezing in the rocks, which nearly filled the entire jar, and then she carefully dumped in the sand which slowly filled the spaces and cracks between the rocks.  The students were surprised and most of them took notice that there was even a little bit of room to spare at the top of the jar when all of the sand had settled. 

I’m sure the student’s learned some valuable lessons that day.  I enjoy this object lesson because I believe it can teach us so many things.    Today I’d like to share three of my favorites.    

#1  Raise our Vision

Many times we observe a difficult challenge or task at hand and we immediately believe it will be impossible to accomplish.  This lack of vision hurts our ability to be successful.  Often times because of this self-doubt, we quickly fail to put forth our best effort because we’ve already decided the challenge is too difficult.  Much like the students believed from the very beginning that the task at hand was impossible and then quickly proved it by pouring the sand in to the jar first, we often put forth a not so well thought out and no so valiant effort to show we at least tried and to prove to ourselves and others that in fact the task was impossible.  Rather than face challenges in this way, we need to raise our vision and see the many possibilities that surround us despite the challenges we face.  We need to have the attitude of “I can do this!” 

#2  Put First thing First

Many times we are unsuccessful in life because we fail to prioritize appropriately.  Rather than starting with the rocks and then moving on to the sand, we do the opposite which causes a lack of success and satisfaction in our life.  When we learn to prioritize and focus first on those things that matter most, we always seem to find time to add the sand.  Though it is not easy and requires a great deal of discipline, let’s start with the rocks in our life and then move to the sand. 

#3 Try, try again

The students were reluctant to try again once they failed.  We too are like this.  However, if we would take the time to reevaluate the situation and try again and again, we would find much more success and satisfaction in our lives.  At it has been said, it is impossible to defeat someone who never gives up.  If we keep trying, eventually we will succeed.          

I love this object lesson and have taken an opportunity to use it when instructing others because of the powerful lessons that can be learned from it.  Raising our vision, putting first things first, and always trying again are lessons that if applied will lead us to greater success.