Accurately Measuring Success

Measuring success at first glance seems easy—we simply look at what someone has accomplished and determine if they are worthy to be considered successful or not.  To me however, I believe this is a false or inaccurate measure of success.  The reason is because many times achievements alone are not enough.  Many seemingly successful people who have accomplished a lot are miserable and unhappy.  Therefore, to me, this cannot be a good measure.  So how do I determine true success in life?  I will let you know my thoughts. 

Our society teaches us that the successful person is one who has many great accomplishments, has done many great things, and has obtained many great accolades and recognition.  True, to a certain extent these people are successful.  But I believe there is even a more important way to measure success.  To me, success in life is not so much about what we do or accomplish, but it is more about who we become.  So true success is being a great person and not simply doing great things. 

Why is who we become so important to success or a good measurement of success?  Because in order for us to reach a full level of satisfaction and happiness in life, we must become something and not just achieve something.  Those who “become” are happy regardless of what they achieve in life, while those who only “achieve” are rarely happy at all. 

So what does it mean to become something?  To me it is changing our nature.  We are born with an innate desire to fulfill our own needs and desires without regard for others.  This attitude follows us throughout our life.  To become someone, we find a way to fully overcome this.  We put off our “natural man” and become someone who truly loves, cares, and wants the best for others before self.  This is not easy!  In fact, most can’t seem to do it totally because our natural tendencies are so strong.  But being this type of person—a person who puts others before self—is really what true success looks like.  This is the best way I know how to measure success because those who “become” are the most happy and satisfied in life.    

So all of the awards, prizes, and accomplishments do mean something and are nice but in the end, they will mean very little to us if we have not at the same time become a great person.  Being a great person rather than doing great things in my mind, is a more important measure of success. 

Thanking Critics

How angry have you become in the past when someone has criticized something you have done?   I know for me personally I’ve become extremely upset, to the point where I’ve nearly made long lasting decisions simply based on someone else’s simple honesty.  I believe it is very natural for us to become defensive, hurt, and upset when someone criticizes us but, truly the best leaders and most successful people in life value and welcome it.   In fact, in most cases they seek it. 

Criticism offers us two things—a new perspective and a chance to improve.  (Notice that I didn’t say it offers us an opportunity to get upset or justify poor behavior.)   By heeding criticism, we can do more or be better than we ever thought possible.  Criticism is not always bad.  If we embrace it, it has the potential to make us much better people and help us gain much greater results.  Time and time again it has been proven that different points of view most often produce the best results. 

Criticism is hard to accept because it means we are wrong, or at least we are imperfect and don’t have all of the right answers all of the time.  Listening to the opinions and judgments of others can make us better, encourage us to tweak and refine our work, and push us to superior results.  The truth is, many times people know more than we do and heeding their advice will benefit us if we allow it to.  In fact many of the best athletes, authors, artists, businessman, etc., actively seek correction because they want to be the best.  Seeking others point of view will help us know what we can do better as often we can’t see it.  And only having good critics can help us get to where we want to be. 

This being said, not all criticism is always valuable.  Many times people share information or opinions on things they really have no idea or expertise on.  Some people criticize just to criticize and this isn’t helpful so we should be careful.  For example, I would not put much value on criticism from a professional golfer on how to shoot a basketball nor would I put much value on how to successfully drive a golf ball from a professional basketball player.  Part of truly capitalizing on criticism is knowing how to act on good counsel.

If we sincerely want to be our best, we must accept criticism as an opportunity and chance to improve.  Placing value on criticism will make us stronger and more successful and will help us to reach our full potential.  I know this can be very difficult but with a conscious effort and understanding of its value, I know we can do it and by so doing, we will have improved results.   Good luck!            

A Time to Change

One of the biggest challenges in life is our battle with self.  There are many things that each of us is naturally inclined to do that essentially sabotages our success and happiness in life.  I experienced this first hand this week as I traveled for work.  We purchased a new a business and presented a great opportunity to the current operator to continue running the business.  It was an offer that was much more attractive than what he currently had in many different ways and one most people would not be able to resist, yet it required him to change and view the business differently.  And changing was not something he was willing to do. 

Now I couldn’t blame this person, in fact, I could identify with him almost too much so that it scared me.  For some reason (especially I’ve found as I get older) our resistance to change intensifies and we no longer choose to do things that would eventually help our ultimate success in life.  Rather than changing we essentially choose to be stuck, unhappy, and eventually unsuccessful—or at least not as successful as we could have been.  We almost convince ourselves we “can’t” change or that change is “not necessary” when it clearly is.    

We need to recognize and fight this resistance to change because one thing that is certain in life is change.  For this reason we need to embrace it and be ready for it.  Change can produce so much good if we allow it to.  Even though it is hard, it almost always makes us better people.  And with the right attitude, it can nearly almost always end up helping us in life.  Change is good. 

Now, it breaks my heart that this current operator will lose what I see as an opportunity of a lifetime because of his unwillingness to change.  It makes me think about what I may be missing out on when I refuse to change.  We must embrace change, have a great attitude about it, and do all we can to learn and grow from it.  When we do, we will become much better leaders and much happier people in life.