The Entitlement Plague - part 2

Over the last many days, several people have asked me if I have any suggestions on how to overcome the “entitlement plague” which is so prevalent and pervasive in our world today.  Below is a list I developed that I think will help us fight the trap and hopefully help us stay grounded in reality…

1.       Be Grateful—we all have so much to be grateful for.  I believe entitlement comes from a lack of seeing all that we have been blessed with and all we should be thankful for.  Focusing on what we have rather than on what we don’t have will help us avoid the entitlement trap.

2.       Help Others—when we reach out and are willing to give of ourselves to help others, I believe we help fight the feelings of entitlement.  Too many of us are self-absorbed, do not spend enough time focusing on others, and/or do not respond to the needs of others.  Helping others helps us realize we may not be as bad off as we think we are.  It helps us remember that everyone faces challenges and struggles in life. 

3.       Expect Nothing—often we become entitled when our expectations are off.  Too often we assume and expect things for what we do when really, there is no rule or reasons that justify our expectations.  We need to learn to do the right thing regardless of the reward and trust that good things will follow.  We should expect or assume nothing from others that is not mutually agreed upon prior to our efforts.

4.       Reality Checks—when we are feeling privileged or owed something special, we need to check ourselves.  We can’t get caught up in the entitlement mindset!  When we believe we have the right to something we need to step back and determine if the belief is really based on any sort of logic or reality. To help us in this effort we may even ask others we trust and who will be honest with us about their opinions and what they think about the situation.  If we can practice “reality checks” whenever we are feeling entitled it will help us stay grounded.     

5.       Delay Gratification—when we delay gratification, we become better masters of our feelings and emotions.  When we are able to control our emotions, we can control our sense of entitlement.  Part of the reason for this plague is that instant gratification surrounds us.  In our world today, when we want something, we can usually have it without much delay or even effort on our part.  Putting off what we want right now will help us avoid stay grounded in reality. 

6.         Stay Humble—I guess this one is really a combination of all of the above.  When we do these suggestions, it will help us have the humility we need to be happy and successful in life.

A sense of entitlement is a major drag on all of us.  I’m going to fight this plague of entitlement within myself and I invite you to join me.  If we can avoid this rampant trap in our society we will be much happier and successful in life without a doubt.  At the end of the day, we must work to earn our rewards in life and only by doing so will the rewards be sweet.  No one owes us anything really, so it is incumbent upon us to create our own success and achieve what we want out of life.   

Struggling with a Belief in Self?

“Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measured by your belief in yourself.”
Robert Collier

The number one reason many people fail to succeed is because they simply do not believe in themselves. They may act like they believe, say they believe, or pretend they believe but deep down inside they question their own abilities. This disbelief makes it impossible for us to progress and reach our goals. Thus, learning to truly believe in ourselves is crucial to success. So what destroys our belief or how can we maintain our confidence? One way is by avoiding 5 destructive Ds.

Often, in the beginning when we establish goals we may truly believe we can accomplish them. However, as time goes on, things get tough, they do not go as planned, and we begin to lose faith and fall into a destructive pattern of 5 Destructive Ds. One D often leads to the next D which in turn slowly erodes our ability to believe. When we complete the cycle, we are left in a state of disbelief. Thus, when we feel our belief faltering, it is usually because we have begun to follow the “Destructive D” pattern. And sadly, many of us repeat this cycle time and time again. The Destructive Ds are doubt, discouragement, distraction, lack of diligence, and disbelief.

Doubt is the first D that begins the cycle to disbelief. Once we begin to doubt, our ability to accomplish our goals or what we want in life, becomes much more unlikely. Doubt plants the first seeds of failure.

Doubt gives way to discouragement. When we become discouraged, our passion or desire for what it is we are trying to accomplish diminishes, and our ability to be successful decreases.

Once discouraged, it becomes very easy to be distracted. Distraction takes our eyes off the ball and changes our attention from what we want to accomplish to something else. Distraction interrupts our discipline and focus and knocks us off the path—maybe pushing us to an easier more comfortable path.

Distraction leads to a lack of diligence. This lack of diligence and effort completely destroys our faith in our abilities to accomplish what it is we want to accomplish. Once we stop truly trying, this ultimately leads to disbelief.

Disbelief is the final D which destroys our ability to be successful. If we do not believe, we will not succeed.

This is a very common cycle which many people tend to follow. Thus, understanding this pattern can help us recognize when we are heading down the wrong road. Once we’ve identified we are in this cycle, we must stop immediately and get back on track. Breaking out of the cycle immediately can restore our belief, helping us to accomplish our goals.

In the end, without a true lasting belief in oneself, our progression and capacity to be successful at anything is greatly limited. We can choose to overcome and avoid the 5 Destructive Ds with discipline, recognition, and understanding, or we can continue to follow the cycle that leads to failure. Don’t get stuck in this destructive cycle but instead, learn to eliminate disbelief! When we believe, we can achieve anything!

The Entitlement Plague

I believe entitlement is one of the biggest plagues in our society.  The feeling and belief that someone owes us something or that we have the right to something without any effort on our own destroys our peace and satisfaction in life.  It also causes us to do things or to not do things that would otherwise improve our life and help us get ahead.  The effects of this type of attitude are widespread and rapidly growing—indeed it is sad to say we are an entitled people.

All of this came to a head for me this week.  I was invited to give a presentation to a team of healthcare professionals at a rehabilitation center.  As part of the event, the leaders of the group purchased many nice giveaways and gifts for their staff hoping to pump them up and to help them have a great experience while learning.  On top of this they also had a cook-out for them and provided them with an amazing meal and lots of good food.  As an “outsider” I was impressed by the leaders’ efforts, time, money, and energy they put in to the event to ensure everyone had a great time.  Despite what I perceived to be a great party for the staff, many of the team members complained, showed little interest, and even openly mocked and grumbled about the gifts that were given away—and they were really nice!  I was dumbfounded and saddened by the total lack of appreciation and gratitude displayed by this team—it made me feel bad for them and for those they serve.  And wouldn’t you know it, as only seemed appropriate based on my experience thus far, the housekeeper who I was cleaning the room with after the event let me know she wasn’t happy with her gift.   

Now clearly this event spoke to the team’s culture, and perhaps maybe even represented poor decisions and leadership within the organization but regardless, the overall sense of entitlement that was felt and shown from mostly the entire team was very discouraging and disheartening to me.  To be honest, I left wondering if there was anything the leaders could have done to make this group happy, and I believe the answer is regrettably no.  As I reflected on this event in my hotel room later that evening I wondered how often I act like the staff did.  I thought about my personal feelings and actions of entitlement and the many times I act as if somebody owes me something special.  As I did this, I came to the awful realization that in many instances I am no better than this staff.       

So how do we fight entitlement in our own lives?  How do we stay grounded and willing to do whatever it takes to get ahead and be successful?  How do we avoid the feeling that we have the right to certain privileges or that we are owed something by others whatever our reasons may be?  This is a true challenge and test in our super entitled day and age.  And the reality is that not very many people really owe us that much at all.  With these thoughts in mind, I want to challenge each of us to recognize and overcome our feelings and actions of entitlement.  Only by fighting this curse within us will we be able to achieve the level of success we hope to achieve, and obtain lasting peace and satisfaction.   

Be Rich Today

Did you know you can be rich now, today?!!   It is quite simple actually.  Now I’m not talking about some instant money making scheme or get rich overnight program.  I am talking about truly being rich.  Something that is long-lasting.  Are you ready to find out how?

Unfortunately we are conditioned to believe that being rich has to do with having a lot of money.  If we have a lot of that green paper stuff in our wallet, or piece of paper from a bank that shows lots of numbers than we sometimes think we are rich.  The truth is however that being rich is a feeling—it is not actually about money.  You see you can’t buy happiness, nobody can.  Many have tried and failed.  Many have arrived at a certain dollar amount in life only to find they want more…and more…and more.  They never end up satisfied. 

So instead of waiting for some paper to tell us we are rich, we can choose to be rich now.  Becoming rich has to do with our mindset, how we think, see, live, and perceive life.  Even though we are bombarded with bad, there is so much good around us.  If we choose to see the good in the world, the good in the people around us, the good in ourselves, we can begin to feel rich.  Again begin to enjoy the blessing of being rich. 

Money does not define our worth.  We have infinite value whether we choose to see it and believe it or not.  We can be completely broke in terms of our bank account yet at the same time feel abundantly rich.  That is the beauty of being truly rich.  We don’t have to rely on someone else.  All of us have the opportunity to be rich today. 

Now if this is not what you were expecting or hoping for I am sorry to disappoint you however there is more power in this simple lesson than an overnight money making scheme will ever give you.  Learn to feel rich now and every day.  Make that choice!  For this is the only way you or I will ever live a life of abundance—it is the only way we will have life-long riches.