The Right Approach for Every Situation

“Treat people with integrity and decency, and generally they will respond in kind.”
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In today’s world, taking the right approach in important situations can mean everything. Whether negotiating a deal, assigning a task to a co-worker, calming down an intense situation, or even disciplining a child, the right approach is vitally important in all we do. The approach we take or how we handle potentially volatile, difficult, or stressful situation will define us as a person and as leaders.

How many times in your life have you been asked to do something only to be left feeling resentful, unmotivated, and bitter? Taking the wrong approach is common practice and often leads to unnecessary stress and contention at work or in the home. For this reason, striving to take the right approach in every situation is worth our time and effort.  And at the end of the day, our approach is key to our success in nearly every circumstance we face.

So what exactly is the right approach? I think it may be different in every circumstance but here are some general rules that work. 

#1 Be Collaborative

The right approach involves seeking feedback and ideas from others.  Being a “know-it-all” or pretending to have all of the right answers turns people off.  When we seek the input, ideas, and opinions of others, we build them up and add value to the problem we are solving.  People will become willing to be a part of the solution when they know they have been heard and when they’ve been able to take part in the process.    

#2 Be Respectful

The right approach never involves belittling or ridiculing another person. Though we may strongly disagree with the opinions or actions of others, keeping the focus on the issue and not on the person themselves is important.  We should also resist the urge to accuse or blame others.  Keep in mind that we can find ways to stay true to our convictions and talk openly and candidly about our opinions and views without attacking others.  Learn to be firm on the issue at hand but soft on the person. The moment we move away from attacking an issue by putting someone down is the moment we lose our ability to influence others.  

#3 Be Open

The right approach involves being open.  Most people today expect to know why they are doing what they are being asked to do, so tell them. Explain to them why what you are asking them to do, or the stance you are taking is so important and how it benefits others.  Expecting people to do what you ask just because you asked or jumping on board with your idea just because you asked them to without letting them see clearly why it is a good idea rarely works. Thus take the time to explain the purpose and reason.    

#4 Be Transparent 

The right approach involves telling people both the positive and potentially negative consequences of following through and doing a good job.  Do not hide things or tell half-truths just to get your way because we’ve seen time and time again how eventually it will come back to bite you.  Being honest with people will earn the trust you need as a leader.   

#5 Be in Control

The right approach means we stay in control.  Keeping our emotions in check is difficult and takes practice however when we remain calm and composed toward others, our ability to take the right approach in any situation is greatly improved.  When necessary, don’t hesitate to take a few minutes when confronted with a difficult situation in order to allow yourself to stop and think things through before reacting. Once we lose control, our ability to influence others and repair the damage we caused nosedives rapidly.    

Taking the right approach is not easy and takes discipline and practice. When we consistently take the right approach in difficult situations people will begin to want to do what we say. Taking the right approach will greatly enhance your ability to influence others and lead, and it will make you a better person.  With the right approach we can arrive at the best possible outcome in any given situation.  Strive today to take the right approach in all of your interactions!

6 Easy Ways to Begin to Build Your Self-Confidence Today

Confidence is important for everyone regardless of what titles we hold or professions we have. Having confidence in self allows us to enjoy life more fully and helps us reach our full potential.  Below are 6 easy ways to help us begin to build our confidence today.

#1 Think Positive

Your thoughts have a powerful effect on who you are and what you can become. If you think you are lacking self-confidence, you are probably right. On the other hand, if you think you are full of confidence, you are probably right also. Learning to have positive thoughts can do wonders in boosting your self-confidence.  Thus, when negative thoughts enter your mind, quickly push them away, and redirect them toward positive thoughts. This is easier said than done but by making a conscious effort to control your thoughts, and recognizing when negative ones enter your mind, you can begin to have more control over them.  And as you learn and train yourself to do this, your confidence will significantly increase. This will take time and practice, but can and will have a tremendous impact on your self-confidence.

#2 Imagine Confidence     

Begin to envision what being more self-confident will look like and feel like.  Think about how your life will be different with increased confidence. Take a few minutes each day to imagine how you would act if you were full of confidence, and then try to live that way. As you dwell on these positive thoughts, and begin to feel what being more self-confident is like, you will begin making progress toward becoming more confident.

#3 Identify your Success

We all have talents, skills, success stories and obstacles we have overcome in life—so think about what they are, and reflect on them. Sometimes all we focus on is the mountains ahead of us rather than taking some time to “turn around” and see all of the mountains we have already climbed.  It may be helpful to write down or create a list of our accomplishments so that we can see and review them whenever we feel we are lacking self-confidence. Remembering what we’ve already achieved and conquered will help us build our confidence as we move forward.

#4 Exercise

How does exercise relate to confidence? Exercising raises your adrenaline and heart rate helping you to feel stronger, healthier, and even happier. Exercising on a frequent basis will increase your confidence, because it requires effort, sacrifice, and hard work which produces within us a sense of accomplishment and success.  Exercise also helps us feel and look better and often how we feel and look physically is how we will feel emotionally. Exercising also increases energy levels and fuels our determination to reach other goals. Simple, consistent exercise has many benefits and can instantly increase our self-confidence.

#5 Eliminate Fear

People who lack confidence are often afraid of something.  Eliminating fear or at least identifying it and channeling it towards good can help you achieve a greater level of confidence. So, to overcome fear you must control your thoughts and view fear as a challenge or a game by doing whatever it is that you are afraid of—facing the fear head on. For example, if you have a fear of speaking in front of others, challenge and force yourself to find every opportunity you can to speak in front of a crowd. This may sound frightening but start with small steps and work your way up. In time, as you continue to challenge your fears, your confidence will grow and your fear will diminish. Instead of letting fear hold you back, you can use it as a motivator to push you forward. Learning to deal with and overcome fear will allow you to build your self-confidence and face any challenge that may come your way.

#6  Don’t Take Yourself too Seriously

One last way to begin building your confidence today is by learning to not take yourself too seriously. Understand everyone makes mistakes—we all do—and making mistakes is an important step in learning and developing skills. Being afraid to make a mistake will lead to unnecessary stress and fear. Accept the fact that you will make mistakes and then when you do make them, learn from them and move on.  Literally laughing out loud when mistakes happen is a great way to deal with them.  And finally, always take ownership for your mistakes. Fess up, commit to be better, and move on. As you do this, your self-confidence will grow.

Following these simple ideas will help your confidence begin to increase almost instantly. Gaining confidence will help you be a more successful person, leader, and allow you to live life to its fullest. We all need confidence to be happy in life so commit to building your confidence today!

The Easiest Thing in the World

I figured it out!  This morning while getting ready for the day I figured it out and I’m happy to share that the easiest thing in this world is to point the finger at others.  Blaming others for our lack of success, satisfaction, and results in life is so easy and I realized this morning that I do it all of the time.  And if each of us is honest with ourselves, probably most of us do it; it seems to be a natural inclination.  Though it is not easy, avoiding the easiest thing in the world by taking ownership for our actions, behaviors, and results is extremely liberating and satisfying.

What made me come to this conclusion this morning is recently I’ve been working with a team that has been quite dysfunctional.  We all have a clear and common goal we are working toward but we can’t seem to make any progress at all!!  I found myself this morning frustrated and thinking about if so and so did this, and another person did that we could maybe make progress toward achieving our goal.  The more I thought about others on my team and what “THEY” needed to do the more helpless and hopeless I felt.  Then while literally looking in the mirror this morning something hit me.  What I wanted my team members to do I hadn’t even been willing to do myself to this point.  I realized I’ve been waiting for others to do “THEIR” part first and then I thought, if they proved to me they cared about the project, then I would do mine.  I realized at that moment how subtle and easy it is to blame others for our lack of success in all aspects of our lives. 

The reality of life is we have full control over one person in this world and that person is ourselves.  No matter how bad we wish someone else would change, we can’t force them to do it.  Instead, when we want things to change, we must change.  And when we want different results, we must take different actions.  It is convenient and easy to blame others and wait for them to change but the truly successful, the true leaders in this world, take ownership of their results and make things happen. 

In the end, a lot of things in life may not turn out exactly how we had planned or hoped but if we do our part by putting forth our best effort, doing all we can, we will feel happy about the contributions we are making and the value we are adding.  As I was looking in the mirror this morning I realized I couldn’t feel good about my part, I wasn’t doing all I could but rather was blaming others.  It was easy and felt good for a moment, but the feeling was hallow and fleeting.  Now I know I need to do my part, and hope my efforts and actions will inspire the others to do the same for really that is about all I can control.          

The easiest things in life rarely result in the best things.  If we want the best life has to offer, we need to avoid the easiest thing.  By doing this, our results, success, and happiness in life will grow exponentially.