The Gratitude Habit

"Gratitude doesn’t change the scenery.  It merely washes clean the glass you look through so that you can see more clearly."
Richelle E. Goodrich

In a recent study, hundreds of people were divided up into three large groups. Every group of people were assigned to begin writing a daily diary, but the subject matter each group was assigned to write about was very different. The first group was simply to write about their daily events. The second group was to write about everything bad that happened to them throughout the day, and the third group was asked to write about all the things they were thankful for that day. After a short time, the study found those who wrote down what they were thankful for experienced much higher levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism, and energy with less depression and stress than the other groups of writers. Also, the group writing what they were thankful for were more likely to help others, exercise, and achieve personal goals. The study also found that gratitude triggered a reciprocal cycle of kindness—meaning one act of gratitude almost always encouraged another. (http://www.acfnewsource.org/religion/gratitude_theory.html)

Based on this study and the reciprocal effect of kindness produced by gratitude, this Thanksgiving Thursday must mean more to us than simply giving thanks and eating a large meal with family and friends. Thanksgiving this year must be about developing a lifetime gratitude habit! And it can start this week by writing down at the end of each day all the things we were thankful for throughout the day.  And then if we can keep up this simple habit for the rest of our life, like the study concluded, it will lead us to a better life—physically, emotionally, and mentally—as well as help us touch and impact the lives of others.

As we write our daily diary of thankfulness let’s not stop there.  Hopefully this habit will also remind us to give thanks to all those around us.  Expressing appreciation to those around us helps us build rapport and esteem with others and gives us credibility as a good friend, family member, and leader. Indeed, giving sincere thanks and appreciation can often define a great leader. Think about it.  Developing a gratitude habit this Thanksgiving—that we carry with us throughout the year and our lifetime—will help us build relationships and live a more satisfying life.

So, start the gratitude habit today.  Begin writing your daily diary of thankfulness, and then express and show more your appreciation towards those in your life.  Don’t hold back, express your gratitude freely!  By doing this you will be more than someone who just says “thanks” and eats turkey this Thanksgiving Holiday—you will become a better you!

Focus on the Why

Great leaders focus on the why.  The reason is because “the why” is what motivates.  Too often in our organizations, families, communities etc. we only focus on “the what” or “the how” and we fail to leave out the why.  When someone knows the why behind things, it changes their whole perspective and their desire to take action. 

The why is more important than the what or the how because it speaks to our heart and passion.  The what or how simply do not provide the clarity that each of us desires.  We all want to know the purpose behind of why we are doing things.  We want a clear answer to “why are doing this?” 

So as a leader, have the discipline to explain the why often.  If you are good at this, it may one day feel monotonous as you’ll sometimes feel like a broken record but the influence and motivation you will have over others will be noticeable and powerful.  And even though you are repeating yourself often, explaining the why over and over will also have a powerful effect on you. 

So remember, focus on the why of things.  When we explain why, we become much better leaders and teachers and help others to achieve their best. 

The One Thing to Do to Be a Great Leader

Throughout my career I’ve had an opportunity to work with a lot of different leaders—some good, some bad, and some in between.  In studying leadership, there is one ability that stands out to me that often defines a great leader.  This ability is the gift to create a safe haven for others. 

Though it may seem strange, leaders who make others feel safe truly get “buy-in” from those that follow them which leads to the best possible results.  When people feel safe, they are willing to take risks, act on their own, and take full responsibility and ownership for their results.  In a safe environment people are able to produce at their highest levels—no longer living in fear of repercussions or what may come.  And when people feel safe not only are they able to make an optimal contribution, they also usually want to. 

A perhaps more traditional thought is that leaders want their followers to have a certain amount of uncertainty and fear when they are around.  The thought is that this fear translates to respect and admiration for the leader but in most circumstances, this could not be further from the truth.  When people fear their leader, they often work and produce out of fear rather than respect, admiration, and even love which nearly always leads to less than great results.    

So how does a leader create a safe haven?  First they do it by protecting their people.  They “save them” from negative experiences such as ineffective backlash, negative attitudes or comments, or unneeded speculations, and rumors from outsiders that only produce anxiety and stress.  They do it by taking full responsibility and blame for the results of the team when they are poor, even doing so for an individual team member when necessary.  And when results are good, they give credit to the team taking no recognition for themselves. A leader who openly and willingly does this, can earn the trust of his team for a lifetime.

Second, the leader sacrifices for others often saying the person would have done the same for them.  When a leader sacrifices for others, and puts his own personal well-being, interest, time, etc. aside for the benefit of another, he produces a safe haven.  An example would be taking the biggest pay cut or loss of benefits in times of crisis rather than the opposite happening which is usually the case…  Willingly sacrificing for the good of the whole endears people to their leader. 

Finally, leaders can create a safe haven when they are vulnerable.  A vulnerable leader is one who is open and willing to admit their faults and mistakes and takes ownership for them.  A leader who admits they are less than perfect and that they in fact do not “know it all”, builds trust and encourages others to take ownership and admit their own mistakes as well.  Vulnerability builds comradery and creates the necessary safe haven needed for a strong, cohesive team.                 

So you want to be a great leader?  If so, build a safe haven.  I’m confident that doing so will make you a unique and extraordinary leader.