When Fast is Slow and Slow is Fast!

It’s confession time.  A concept that I struggle with from Steven R. Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Successful People is the idea that with people slow is fast and fast is slow. In our world, speed is valued.  And unfortunately I am someone who thrives on checking things off my list, sticking to a schedule, getting things done quickly, and working as efficiently as possible.  Because of this “always fast” mentality, I struggle with what I believe is truth and that is with people fast is actually slow and slow in reality is fast. 

So what does this mean that with people slow is fast?  This means that when approaching a “people situation” we need to slow down—it can’t be scheduled or hurried because we never know how long the conversation may need to go in order for it to be effective.  People won’t be rushed or at least they won’t like it.  So in order for “people situations” to go well, we must prepare to take time upfront, to build the relationship, to establish trust so that we can move forward effectively and efficiently. 

Let’s take a look at how this might work.  Let’s say for example I’ve unintentionally offended a co-worker and I know I need to apologize but the reality is I have a ton on my plate and we have work to do to meet a pressing deadline.  It may be easy to think to myself that my co-worker doesn’t need to be so sensitive and that we really just need to concentrate on our deadline.  With this in mind I may choose to quickly pass by his office and say “hey I’m sorry about that”, and move along to my next task.  Though this “solution” is fast, the question is, will it be very meaningful or effective? 

Now what if I instead take the time to slow down, look him in the eye, and share a sincere apology and then wait and listen to anything he may want to share to ensure our feelings towards each other are back on solid ground before moving on?  This will certainly take longer but which will help us strengthen our relationship and eventually help us work more effectively together to meet our deadline?  Fast is slow and slow is fast. 

Or let’s say I want my son to begin mowing the lawn and he has never done it before.  Do you think things would turn out better for both him and for me if I just yelled down the stairs that he needed to mow the lawn right now giving a few quick instruction on how to do it?  Or would going outside with him, showing him the different parts and features of the mower, explaining what to look out for in the yard and how to properly mow, and then even coaching and teaching him at his side as he begins to mow for the first time be better?  Obviously the latter would take longer but it would also be better for him and for me because he’d know how to mow properly and I hopefully wouldn’t find myself constantly mowing after him—going over missed spots in the lawn, or repairing sprinkler heads that were run over, or picking up a shredded newspaper he mowed, etc.  Do you see how taking the time up front to teach and train him properly will save me a lot of time on the back end? 

When we slow down with people, and show that we truly care and value them, it will help us be fast.  This can be hard and seem counterintuitive for us who are wired to go fast.  But not slowing down with people is truly counterproductive and we will pay for it.  With things, tasks, and objects fast is fast but when working with people, we must remember that fast is actually slow and slow is actually fast. 

So, no matter how difficult it may be, when in a people situation, be prepared to slow down.  I know it is hard, and I really struggle with it, but slowing down and taking time when confronting people issues and situations will actually help us be fast.