Accepting Self

“I find that when we really love and accept and approve of ourselves exactly as we are, then everything in life works.”  Louise Hay

Our success in life is often determined by our view of self.  When we have a negative outlook on ourselves, our faults and short comings, our weaknesses and mistakes, it can derail us from what we are capable of accomplishing.  Poor self-image is plaguing people’s lives throughout the world and limiting our happiness and success in life.   

Often a poor view of self comes from comparison.  Too often we compare ourselves to others wondering why we aren’t more like someone else; someone who is seemingly happy, or successful, or without blemish.  The reality is that all of us struggle in one way or another, that’s what being human is all about, and no one is perfect or without faults or challenges. 

Unfortunately social media has created a false sense of reality where we have the opportunity to post and brag about only the good, easy, fun parts of life.  Rather than portraying truth, what we see on social media is a skewed and biased view on life.  We have to remember that social media is a very small part of someone’s complete story. 

So what do we do if we have a poor image of self and want to improve?  First, I’d stop comparing.  We don’t need to or can we accurately and thoroughly compare ourselves to others—we just don’t have the full picture.  Comparisons are a waste of time and lead to unnecessary worry and stress.  Second, I’d stay away from social media completely.  If you just can’t stomach that idea, at the very least, limit your consumption of it to a very minimal amount of time. 

Finally, our view of self typically starts with our mind and thoughts.  Changing and controlling our thoughts will help us improve our view of self.  When you have negative thought, don’t dwell on it or beat yourself up because of it but recognize it, label it (that’s a negative thought) and push it out and replace it with something positive and new. 

Improving our self-image will help us improve our success in life.  Find ways to accept yourself including your flaws and warts and believe that everyone has them.  As we improve our self-image our ability to reach our potential, influence others, and find success will grow.   

The Strongest Way to Lead

"I cannot trust a man to control others who cannot control himself." Robert E. Lee

Being a leader is never easy.  In fact, I believe in today’s world it is becoming more difficult than before to influence and motivate others to follow because of all the distractions that constantly surround us.  There are many impactful leadership methods, strategizes, and personal traits however one thing continues to be the most important in my mind and separates “real” leaders for those who are leaders in name or perhaps position only.

Great leaders set a great personal example.  Studies have shown that this is the number one way to influence and impact those you lead, through your personal example.  Too often leaders rely on other methods, strategies, or perhaps even personality traits to influences others and though these may help, our personal examples as leaders is what will truly inspire and earn the trust of our team.

One reason why personal example is so impactful is because it is hard to do and so few follow through with it.  Many leaders fail to live up to their own standards or at least those standards and expectations they profess to others.  More and more we see leaders who claim one thing but do another.  A leader who is able to not only talk but also act will inspire others to follow.  For this reason, those who may not have the “title” or the formal position of authority can be, and sometimes are, the best leaders.  Their power and influence of their examples cannot be denied.     

So you want to be a great leader, then set a great example!  A leader leads by example whether he intends to or not.  Our personal example will have the greatest influence on those we lead and will permit us to be the kind of leaders we ought to be.