Have you been the victim of someone being mean-spirited, rude, dishonest, or disrespectful to you at work, in the community, or at home? We all have; and when this happens, typically we find ourselves taking offense, which then makes us upset, angry, and down. Even worse, these situations often do not only ruin the moment, but they also linger long after and negatively impact our entire day. Do you wish you could reverse or avoid the negative effects of being offended? Well, you can! Though it is not easy, we can choose today not to be offended…ever!
As human beings, we have the ability to choose to treat others as we wish, whether good or poor. This is a simple fact of life. However, one of the most important and fundamental secrets to happiness is that although people have a choice about how they treat others or us, we have the capacity to choose how we will react to these actions whether positively or negatively. When we choose to be offended, we essentially allow the actions of others to affect us in a negative way. However this does not have to be the case, because the actions of others and how we react to them are two independent choices. Thus being offended is never forced upon us by someone else, because we have the capacity to choose to be offended or not!
When we decide to be offended we often feel mistreated or insulted, and we make the choice to be upset or miserable. It is easy to be offended at work, our home, or in our communities as people certainly do things that justify offense. However, it is important to remember we have the choice to determine how we will react to different situations. Will we let the other person’s actions destroy us, or build us up? Indeed, people cannot make us offended or even ruin our day; it simply is not possible. Though it can be very difficult to not be offended, not believing this is believing we don’t have power over our own actions but instead are slaves to the actions of others. This simply is not true.
Taking offense and holding grudges when something goes wrong can result in lower productivity, poor concentration, an inability to achieve goals, and even an increase in stress with a loss of peace of mind. Taking offense can ruin your whole day, or a week, or even an entire life if we choose to let it. There are many examples of individuals who have lived a life full of offense, grudges and negativity, because they’ve chosen to feel they’ve been wronged in some way. Sadly, these self-inflicted negative feelings do not only impact the individual but also hurts those around them including co-workers, spouses, children, and friends. The consequences of choosing to be offended, when it is a choice, can be detrimental not only to you, but to all of those around you.
Rather than choosing to be offended, we can remember to choose not to be offended. Though it may seem extremely difficult to avoid offense at times, we all have the capability to overcome. When you are in a situation where someone may be offensive, first remember you have a choice and then choose not to be offended. Next, if appropriate, speak with the person openly, privately, and honestly about how you feel. Oftentimes it may be discovered there was a misunderstanding or the person did not realize he or she was being offensive. Other times however you may discover the person is purposely offensive. Regardless, remember you have the ability to choose how you will react and treat other people. Choose not to be like them, and choose not to be offended.
We do not control the actions of others, thus we will at times feel we should be offended by what someone has done. However, we always have the ability to push those feelings aside and react in a positive way to any situation. Choosing to act constructively will help you be a better person and will help you live a more fulfilling and rewarding life. Learning to overcome negative feelings and rising above the “offensiveness” of others will make you a great leader. Choosing not to be offended will help us all be more productive, happy, and successful in life. So the choice is yours, what will it be? Choose to not be offended!
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