This Message Will Not Self-Destruct

Each day we should wake up and go about our tasks as people on a mission. We should not simply go about our lives aimlessly or carelessly without purpose. Nor should we keep to ourselves or focus only on self-serving activities and goals. We should not settle for mediocrity nor compromise our standards. No, we should be different. We should go about our lives each day with a purpose and a desire to achieve excellence through serving others. Simply stated, we should strive each day to fulfill our mission.

So what is our mission? That depends on you. In the business world, most companies have mission statements that represent the culture and expectations of the organization and its company values and core beliefs. The mission statement usually aligns, unifies and inspires the workforce to work toward a common overall objective. In business this is common practice but what about in our personal lives? Do we have a personal mission that leads and directs us and inspires us to accomplish greatness each day?! We must create our own personal mission statement that can serve as a powerful document that tells us who we are, why we are living, and what we hope to accomplish in life. More than that, our mission should guide our actions, and steer our decisions. Our personal mission statement should drive and inspire us and tell us our purpose in life.

Just as in business, once a personal mission statement is created, it can be changed at anytime as we evolve as people and our values, beliefs, and passions transform. Do not feel you are forever tied to the first mission statement you create but realize it is a living document that will surely be altered over time.

Along with a personal mission statement, it is also wise to create a family mission statement. If you have children, let them have plenty of input into the family mission statement. Creating such a statement will help align your entire family in values and purpose. It can boost confidence, inspire excellence, and give your children an excuse as to why they cannot cave into peer pressure. Developing a family mission statement together will help build closer family relationships and serve as a powerful tool that places importance on the family unit.

So remember, each day we should not wake up simply to “get through another day”, we should wake up determined to complete our mission! Good Luck!

Commitment Keepers

Consistently honoring our commitments and fulfilling our promises—or doing what we say we will do—is a true sign of strong leadership. In fact, many companies somewhere in their organizational structure or mission statement state they will follow through on their commitments and promises. Unfortunately, more often than not, the follow through never happens and poor relationships ensue. So how do we complete our commitments and promises consistently? Following through on every commitment is not easy but can be done. And, I have a few ideas that can help us be commitment keeping individuals!

#1 Believe We Can
First of all, we must sincerely believe we have the ability to really follow through on our commitments and promises and that doing so really makes a powerful difference. In fact, the more we believe we have the capability of completing a commitment or promise, the more obligated we feel to follow through and do whatever we can to make it happen. On the contrary, when we believe we can’t follow through on a commitment, it is human nature to take little responsibility for ensuring it gets done which then leads to downplaying its significance. So, we must know that we are capable of keeping our commitments!

#2 Promise What We Will Do
Second, we must not commit to something we have no intention of doing or that we are incapable of completing. If we promise someone the world, surely we will not be able to offer it, and thus we are not doing anyone any favors. If we over promise and do not succeed, we begin to lose credibility. So, when we make a commitment, we need to make sure we have every intention of fulfilling it. To do this best we need to be very clear and honest in our promises and commitments.

#3 Do What We Promise
Third, once we make the promise, do it! As we honor our promises time after time, we build trust, respect, and loyalty from others. Once we’ve completed the promise, at times it is wise to follow-up with the person we promised it to and simple say “As promised, I completed………” This will help people who are very busy notice our efforts and commitments. This will prove to them that they can count on us. This will build our credibility, reputation, and trust.

#4 Hold Ourselves Responsible
Finally, fourth, we must take responsibility for our commitments and efforts regardless if we had total control over the outcome or not. Studies have shown that it is rarely helpful to blame others, external circumstances, or bad luck for not fulfilling promises. What’s needed when things go wrong is honesty rather than blame or denial. For example we can say something like “I was there. I gave my best effort in trying to complete what I promised and it didn’t turn out as planned. Here are my ideas now moving forward.” Though it’s difficult, owning up to mistakes again builds and strengthens relationships of trust and respect and will define us as leaders.

Fulfilling promises and completing commitments is difficult, but by following the suggestions above, we will build relationships of trust and respect and become more effective and powerful leaders. You can do it, Good Luck!

Giving Equals Receiving

It is more blessed to give than receive.” Acts 20:35

It is time to test our economic knowledge with one easy question. Does giving money charitably to others make us less wealthy based on the fact that we are giving money away? If you answered yes, you are very wrong and I will explain why.

Recently, in an academic study, several entrepreneurs shared that one of their secrets to success is how much they give away to others. In fact, most indicated that one must give before they even have in order to succeed. One economist who participated in this study thought this idea was clearly a farce and decided to do further research to prove them wrong. His theory was that giving charitably results in zero return on investment and has no positive economic impact for the giver.

Discovering a study conducted by Harvard in 2000, this economist quickly found that when people give charitably, they actually get richer. In fact, during his own research and study, he discovered that the return on investment for each dollar given to charity is roughly $3.75. How can this be?!

In order to find the answers, this economist had to turn to psychology for answers. Studies have proven that giving charitably makes us happier and more productive. In fact giving is a reciprocal recycle of joy where happier people give more and people who give more are happier. Likewise, it has been proven that giving literally changes our brain and can give us a “helper high” which instantly reduces stress. Lowering stress helps us to be more focused, healthy, and productive. Thus, giving to others helps us remain “in the zone” meaning it allows us to maximize our abilities for longer periods of time—helping us reach our full potential and be most effective.

Studies have also found that giving changes the brains of others. When people notice others freely giving, they instantly perceive this individual as a leader and are more willing to follow. Thus, when we give charitably, we become more effective leaders because we can have greater influence over others. Again in studies, people have listed charitable giving as an important leadership trait.

Still, knowing this is not all. It has also been proven that influencing and helping others to give will multiply the positive effects of giving. As we help others give, we become even happier and increase our own ability to be productive and effective.

This study and research ties into the “Abundance Mentality” found in many business books which essentially means we should have the mind frame that there is plenty to go around for everyone. Thus, helping others does not in any way diminish us but can only bring us up. Unlike the traditional “I win you lose mentality,” this belief is that the more we help each other, the more we all succeed. This study and research helps prove this point.

Finally, this study concludes that part of our secret to success as a nation, as communities, and as individuals is our willingness to give charitably. So remember, giving does not equal less but in fact equals more. Giving charitably is a secret to leadership and success!

Attitude is Everything (part 2)

As promised, today I am going to provide 5 very simple ways to help maintain a positive attitude under any circumstance.

#1-Start the Day off Right

Wake up every morning and tell yourself, “Today is going to be an outstanding day.” Regardless of what you may have to do during the day, telling yourself it is going to be a great day each morning will help. Too often we wake up worrying about or dreading the day’s tasks before the day has even begun. Instead, we should be excited about what the new day will bring and how we can help others and improve ourselves throughout the day. So remember, today is going to be an outstanding day!

#2-Be Grateful

Also in the morning, think of all you have to be grateful for. Too often we think about what has gone wrong or reasons why life is not fair or why we shouldn’t be happy. We should however, do the opposite. Think of all the good in your life and identify those reasons why you should be happy. If you stub your toe, be grateful you didn’t break it, if you do break it; be grateful it was only your toe and not your leg. We all have blessings and so much to be grateful for. See the positive in your life and give thanks for it!

#3-Think Positive Thoughts

This is common sense but when we have positive thoughts, we tend to have positive attitudes. Our thoughts can really determine our happiness and outlook on life. Dwelling on negative thoughts will bring us down and result in poor attitudes regardless of our situation.

#4-Surround Yourself with Positive Influences

Try to associate with others who have good attitudes who will help boost yours. At times however, this may be out of your control. In that case, make sure the things within your control are positive. For example, the music we listen to, the books we read, the shows and movies we watch, and how we spend our free time can all impact our attitude. Make sure the influences that surround you are in-line with your own personal values and help build you up rather than tear you down.

#5-Recognize

Recognize when you are headed down the bad attitude road whether it’s because of negative thoughts, negative talk, mistakes, unfortunate events or anything else. When you are spiraling down towards a negative attitude, recognize it and find ways to correct it. Take responsibility for your attitude and remember that you have full control over your attitude regardless of the situation.

Having the right attitude is so critical yet often difficult to control. However, only we can control our own attitudes. Applying these five tips above will help us maintain a positive attitude. Having a positive attitude will positively impact others around us and will help us be more effective leaders. Remember that in almost every situation, attitude really is everything!

The Art of Possibility

What is really possible and how much can we accomplish? In this interesting book, The Art of Possibility, Rosamund and Benjamin Zander share and explain how anything is truly possible—stating “much more is possible than people truly think.” Painting a unique picture of life as an arena of possibilities rather than a cell of impossibilities helps us experience life to its fullest, allowing us to learn and appreciate both the good and the bad.

Much impossibility we believe is simply not true, because it is based on how we’ve been taught to view the world and think. Too many times we accept rules, limitations, and norms that in reality are made up by man and do not exist. Yet, we let these limitations control our attitudes and actions. Learning to think and view our world differently will allow us to accomplish much more, while truly enjoying it. The authors of this book explain different strategies on how to think and react differently to life and its challenges and triumphs to discover what is actually possible.

One example of how this book encourages people to think differently than normal is by viewing each mistake and misfortune in life as an event that is “fascinating” and that can teach us a great lesson. Having a positive outlook on life and its challenges changes our perception on what is possible.

Another example is the authors encourage us to view and treat everyone as an “A student” the moment we meet them—giving everyone full credit and the possibility to exceed before we think less of them. Often times we label others or ourselves as B or C students and that often leads them or us to act the part. This book challenges us to realize that treating everyone and ourselves like “A” students encourages us and others to act like one—bringing out the best in everyone. As the authors ask, "How much greatness are we willing to grant people?"

Likewise, the book encourages us to use Rule #6 at all times which is to not take ourselves too seriously. Life is to learn and to grow, and being too serious can ruin our outlook on life. Other unique outlooks on life are empowering ourselves by taking responsibility for all mistakes and all unfortunate events that occur in our life, as well as utilizing the power of “we” to encourage collaboration and inclusion to maximize results in all situations.

This is just some of the many strategies this book identifies to realizing all the possibility that surrounds us. Additionally, the book is also full of touching stories and notes that will inspire anyone who reads them. By reading this book, you will learn that Possibility truly is an Art as explained in detail in this book. Learn and believe in what's possible and then act is my challenge to us all.

Attitude is Everything

Attitude is everything. Do you believe it? The attitude we choose to have about our changing world really determines not only our personal happiness in life but also our success. Likewise, having a poor attitude can make everything in life bitter and meaningless. How we view the world and ourselves in it, will impact the satisfaction we gain from life and can make a world of difference.

Recently the organization I currently work for has been growing quite rapidly. As is always the result, with growth comes change. We’ve seen a lot of changes over the years and we are experiencing more and more as we grow and try to keep up in our industry that transforms itself at a faster pace each day. During these dynamic times of change, I see two basic types of employees emerge from the whirlwind—the happy employee and unhappy employee.

First, there is the “happy” employee. This employee is engaged and excited about change. They embrace change and enjoy the fact that we are growing as a company. Even though they may not agree with all changes, they have a great attitude and continue to be successful. The attitude of “happy” is not only outstanding but they provide constructive criticism and opinions in a professional manner if there are changes they do not agree with. This allows everyone to work together in order to get things right. Additionally, once they’ve shared their view, they are not only content but quick to embrace change and accept the fact that they may not have all of the answers. Thus, they have a quality of humility. Because of their positive attitude, especially towards change, they are star employees and will continue to be so as they maintain their positive attitudes.

Next, there is the “unhappy” employee. This employee is clinging to the past and is constantly questioning and complaining about change. This person analyzes each move to try and find flaws. These employees often take change as a personal attack and assume change is often made because people want to make them miserable. This multitude of negative feelings is dangerous as it builds up and produces more negative feelings. Often, though they may have had a wonderful track record with many successful years with the organization, they let their poor attitude, especially towards change, distract and eventually destroy them. What was once a flourishing and successful career turns into a bitter and unfulfilling end simply as a result of a poor attitude towards change.

During these shifting times in our company I’ve often wondered why employees with similar backgrounds and years of experience can be heading down such different paths. I’ve realized that attitude most often is not about reality but rather about our personal perception. How we perceive change or other things in the world determines our attitude and how we react. For example, when something goes wrong do we look to blame and resent what has happened? Or do we accept the fact that we do not have all the answers and that many things are out of our control? Therefore, what one person views as a personal attack, another person views as a great opportunity to make adjustments and try something new.

Consequently, the reality of the situation is often lost when we instantly have a negative attitude towards change because this inevitably leads us into the trap of deceiving ourselves about reality. By doing this, we rob ourselves of the chance to understand what the change is really about, why it may be necessary and how it can help. Change most always can be used to produce positive outcomes when understood and used appropriately. Thus, we must refrain from deceiving ourselves and try to see reality how it truly is during times of change.

This leads me to the next question of are we the type of person who takes responsibility for our attitudes and realize that only we have power to control it? We need to be! Too often people take the easy way out and blame others for being upset, justifying a poor attitude. This justification of our negative attitudes only hurts us and makes us weak. Are we really willing to say we are controlled by others actions outside of us? The fact is that attitude comes from within and we have complete control over it. Thus, we must take full ownership and accountability for our attitudes. We truly have the power to control our attitudes under any circumstance no matter what happens in the world around us.

Allowing ourselves to have negative attitudes and dwell on negative feelings is not worth it! Not only will a poor attitude potentially ruin a career, it can also ruin relationships, activities, hobbies, friendships, and even life if we allow it. A poor attitude can make any situation miserable and on the contrary, a good attitude can make every situation manageable. Having a good attitude is a choice and monitoring our attitudes will help us be more effective leaders. As we accept full responsibility and control over our attitudes, we will begin to more fully enjoy life and be more successful. So what are you waiting for?! There is no excuse not to have a great attitude everyday!!

In my next blog, we will discuss strategies on how to maintain a positive attitude.

Raising a G-Rated Family in an X-Rated World

"Children want nice parents as much as parents want nice children."
Brent & Phelecia Hatch

The basic unit of our society, the family, is disintegrating. With attacks on traditional families and the pressures to keep up with others and fit in, our families are struggling to stay intact. These forces in combination with the many misconceptions and distortions of reality our children are constantly bombarded with have led to a massive amount of homes and families being torn apart. Raising a G-Rated Family in an X-Rated World is a timely book to help parents teach their children correct principles and to stand for goodness and high morals among the deteriorating world that surrounds them.

Raising a G-Rated Family in an X-Rated World provides very practical advice and reminders for parents that are both desperately needed and sometimes forgotten. The book challenges parents to spend more time with their children, making them the highest priority in our lives. Additionally, the book reminds us as parents that we are our children’s best role models and teachers and that we cannot depend on others to teach our children our values.

Unfortunately, the book does not give us a quick and easy way to raise our children but on the contrary it often reminds us that raising good children is time consuming—requiring a lot of patience and hard work. However, the book does provide great and simple strategies and tools on how to improve and strengthen our family relationships and open the lines of communication between parent and child. It also offers excellent ways for parents to better teach their children to ensure they know we love and care about them as their parents. Simple ideas such as a “Family Report Card” and “The Band-Aid Magnet” are a few examples of the many strategies the book offers that can really help our families trust, care, and love each other.

The book also warns against the dangers of the media in our homes and provides practical strategies on how we can protect our children from outside influences that are not in line with our own family values. Having a strategy is extremely important in ensuring our children know the difference between right and wrong. The book also offers advice on many important topics for parents from discipline to unconditional love, to self-esteem, teaching values and helping with homework.

I believe raising children in today’s world is tough but vitally important. I can’t think of any higher responsibility on this earth than to teach our children good morals and correct principles. Parents need to seek good help such as the assistance this book provides to aid them in appropriately leading and guiding their children to success and happiness in life. As we teach correct principles and values in our homes, our children will carry on the tradition, passing what they’ve learned on to our grandchildren and great grandchildren. This will provide shining examples of hope in a world that so desperately needs them. If you’re a parent, please take the time to read this book.

Integrity Check

When we prioritize being loyal to a person or group over doing what we feel is right, we lose integrity.”
Stephen R. Covey

In the midst of an unprecedented era of corporate scandals and unethical behaviors in the business world, many companies have turned to the word “integrity” to help build consumer confidence and improve profitability. Integrity has many meanings but to me it is a complete adherence to high standards at all times, even when no one is watching. As in the business world, it is important for us as individuals to keep our integrity in tack by being honest, following through with what we say, and living high morale standards. Just like businesses, we need to earn and protect the trust of others in order to be good leaders, friends, and family members. Living with integrity will lead to a successful and more enjoyable life.

I recently heard a story about a historian from the United States who visited the Chinese National Archives in Beijing. During his visit, the American engaged in a conversation with a Chinese official at the archives who spoke of the importance of families and ancestors in the Chinese culture and traditions. This man then related a story about the tradition of honesty and integrity in his family.

While one of his ancient ancestors served as a government officer during one of the Chinese dynasties, a wealthy and powerful man approached him to ask for a favor. The wealthy man seeking the favor offered this man’s ancestor a very lucrative bribe. The wealthy man argued that no one would ever know. However, this Chinese official’s ancestor replied that he himself would know, the person offering the bribe would know, the earth would know and heaven would know and he refused to dishonor his position, his country, and himself. Since that time, this story has been repeated and shared throughout the generations of this man’s family whom have been known for their high levels of integrity and honesty. Thus, this family has upheld and lived by a family tradition of honesty and integrity ever since this one simple act. This government officer may have easily earned distinction in his own time, but his true greatness lies in the legacy of integrity he left his posterity.

In order to maintain a high level of integrity we must be honest in all of our dealings, we must practice what we preach, and we must follow through with commitments. As we do this, we will earn the respect and trust of others and we will set an example for others to follow. Once respect and trust are earned, our ability to influence and persuade others will greatly increase. Losing trust of co-workers, associates, friends, and family can be a very painful consequence as a result of dishonesty. Often, it may take a lifetime to restore the integrity you lost. Your personal integrity is one of your most prized possessions because no one can lower it or take it away from you. It is yours to keep or give away.

Thus, what legacy are we leaving for our family, friends, and co-workers? Like this Chinese officer’s ancestor, are we unwilling to compromise our integrity? Or do we give in to the pressures of the world to be dishonest and self-serving? Choose not to take the easy way out but instead, live a life that can be remembered for its integrity for many generations to come. We can do it!