90/10 Rule

Recently an email has been flying around the internet about a rule called the 90/10 rule that is credited to Stephen R. Covey. The slide show in the email presents a scenario where a father in a business suit preparing for work has a cup of coffee accidently spilled on him by his daughter. We follow the scene from there by examining two very different hypothetical reactions to this incident.

The first reaction is one where the father gets very upset. He harshly yells at his daughter and then turns and blames his spouse for putting the cup too close to the edge. He then changes his clothes only to find his daughter still in tears at the table which then results in her missing the bus. The father then speeds in order to drop off his daughter at school. He receives a speeding ticket and ends up late to work which frustrates his boss. He has a bad day at work and can’t wait to arrive home. When he arrives home both his daughter and spouse are still upset at him for his reaction in the morning.

The second reaction is the father responding calmly. He tells his daughter it is ok and that he knows it was an accident. He quickly runs upstairs to change and comes down just in time to hug his daughter good-bye before she runs out the door to catch the bus. His spouse also gives him a kiss good-bye and he heads to work and arrives on time, his boss is in a good mood. He then arrives home to a happy spouse and daughter.

Both reactions in the above scenario are very common yet very different and thus result in different outcomes. This simple example helps us understand that we have the ability to positively or negatively impact our entire day based on our reactions to situations in life. If we understand the 90/10 rule, probably 9 out of 10 times our reaction will be the second.

The 90/10 rule is that 10% of life is made up of what happens to us while 90% is how we react to it. Thus, we have control over 90% of our life! In the above scenario the father had little control over the spilling of the coffee yet he had complete control over his reaction. Lots of things happen to us but more important than what happens is how we react. If we can discipline ourselves to react wisely, our results in life will dramatically improve.

The 90/10 rule is liberating and empowering knowing that we control 90% of our lives! We can take complete ownership for our results in life. Hence, our success is not determined by the outside world but within ourselves. We have complete control over our destiny. And if things are not going well for us, or if we are angry, sad, unsuccessful, miserable or maybe happy, ecstatic, content, etc. we really can only blame ourselves because 90% of life is a result of how we react to it. Don’t let people tell you otherwise!

A troubling trend in society is to shift blame and point fingers. Rather than take ownership and responsibility for our results we find excuses and blame others. We look outside of ourselves and allow the 10% that we cannot control to dictate our future as we become helpless and disbelieving. Rather than take hold of our destiny we allow it to be randomly determined by others. This is a troubling trend of our age however we do not need to be sucked in to it! We need to hold ourselves accountable for our results and face the fact that we are fully capable and have the ability to control them. Rather than look outside ourselves, we should first look inward to see how we must change in order to improve our outcomes in life.

We have the power within ourselves to make this day and everyday a great day. We have the power to change our world and determine our success. We have complete control over our destiny. Please remember the 90/10 rule as you strive to live life to the fullest.