Think and Grow Rich

There is perhaps no better way to close the year than by offering a short review on the classic self-help book Think and Grow Rich, by Napoleon Hill.  This book offers hope to each one of us as it provides simple truths and knowledge that will help any and all of us to maximize our potential and discover success in life.  Though there are many ideas and thoughts shared by the author, I found two strong reoccurring themes in the book that I believe help readers the most.     

First, we must have a definite purpose in life.  If we do not know what we want than it is impossible for us to get it.  Aimlessly wondering through life, simply hoping for good to happen, or willingly accepting whatever comes our way will never get us what we desire in life.  Likewise, just having wishes such as I wish I had a million dollars, isn’t good enough.  A definite purpose in life is much more than a wish—it is clearly knowing what we want and then wanting it so bad that it nearly consumes our life.  Having a true, defined purpose inspires us to develop a plan, take action, and stay with it until our purpose is accomplished. It is something that we must have and we will do anything to get.

Too often people fail to clearly define what they want.  Whether it is because of fear, uncertainty, a lack of faith, indecision, a lack of confidence, or something else, people struggle to nail down or acknowledge what they truly desire.   Again simply hoping, wanting, or wishing for something is not a definite purpose.    Without a definite purpose it is hard to ever achieve great things.  Thus, we must have a purpose for our life and until we do so, we will not obtain the success we’d like.         

Second, we are what we think.  We can control what is in our minds and what is in our minds is what we eventually become.  Too often we dwell on the negative, fill our minds with “junk”, tear ourselves down, create nonexistent walls or barriers, or participate in other destructive habits in our minds.  If we can learn to have good thoughts, positive thoughts, uplifting thoughts, and believe that we can accomplish anything we set out to do, we will achieve much greater success.  In fact the author believes all great things begin in our minds.  If we can have the discipline to fill our minds with only positive things, our chances of success are greatly increased.    

Think and Grow Rich is a great book and I would recommend it to anyone trying to improve themselves.  I truly believe that if we apply the principles found in the book including having a definite purpose in life and controlling our thoughts we will find much greater success in life.  Thanks for another great year!!   

To see how I rated this book click here

The Christmas Leader

It’s that special time of year—the time for giving and receiving—and because of this, for many of us instead of being “the most wonderful time of the year” it becomes the most stressful time of the year.  Today I’d like to address what I classify as a special Christmas leadership trait as it is rarely if ever spoken about however fits perfectly for this time of year and that is being a gracious receiver. 

In our commercialized world it has become common to expect nothing but the best for gifts.  The bigger, shiner, fancier, and more expensive the gift the better.  In fact, many believe this year’s gift must be better than last year’s otherwise it will be brushed aside and rejected.  This type of attitude kills the giving spirit, causes a ton of unneeded stress, and in the end not only hurts the giver of the gift but also the receiver. 

Unfortunately, for whatever reason, as we grow older we lose the ability to receive gifts graciously with the excitement and wonder we had in our childhood.  Instead of being overjoyed by the generosity of a giver we become annoyed and judgmental toward them.  This lack of appreciation and gratitude in our hearts says a lot about us and who we are as a person. 

As we examine ourselves, if we find that we have become less than gracious receivers the key to our success is in simply observing children.  As we watch closely how a young child receives a gift we will notice their eyes light up with excitement, their movements become nearly uncontrollable with anticipation, and a smile of joy beams bright on their face.  It doesn’t matter what the gifts outward appearance may be or even what is on the inside.  When a child receives a gift, it is received and accepted with much appreciation. 

Children seem to recognize and acknowledge with their excitement and innocence that the giver is giving out of love.  Whether it is something they always wanted or not, the young child never appears disappointed.  They always seem to have a way to accept all gifts with gratitude and grace.  

Most gifts are an act of love and kindness.  Thus, receiving a gift is a wonderful opportunity to build, strengthen, and deepen a relationship.  In fact how we react to gifts given to us this time of year can either help or hurt our ability to build meaningful relationships and become effective leaders.  I imagine all of us will receive a gift that we won’t necessarily care for or like but how we react to it is what the person giving the gift will always remember.   

So I ask all of us, will we brush gifts aside, will we thank all givers, will we acknowledge the thought and love behind the gifts we receive rather than focus solely on the quality of it?  This Holiday Season let us remember that simple gifts come from the heart and that being gracious receivers can and will change our outlook on others and on this season.   As we receive gifts graciously, as little children do, we will strengthen our bonds and become more effective leaders.  Let’s strive to always be gracious receivers!  Merry Christmas! 

STRESSED OUT?!

Burntham.com Rewind--Originally posted 2/10/11

In today’s modern world, more than perhaps any other period in time, we are overburden, over bombarded, and over whelmed with things to do. This constant avalanche of items on our to-do-lists causes us unnecessary stress, fatigue, and often feelings of hopelessness which greatly reduces our ability to be effective and productive. In fact, according to some studies, over 1/3 of Americans report living with “extreme stress”. So here are a few ideas to help us relieve the stress, and maximize our potential.

#1 Focus on Today

Too often we worry about yesterday, or tomorrow causing us to fail to focus on today. It is impossible to change yesterdays’ worries. Thus carrying them around day to day is a heavy burden. Equally difficult and unproductive is to dwell on tomorrows’ concerns. The most important day for each of us is today because it is the only day we have some control over. Putting aside the worries of yesterday and tomorrow will allow us to more fully maximize today’s opportunities. If we can learn to live for today, we will experience much more success in life.

#2 Cut the Fat

Too many of us, often without realizing it, waste too much time. Whether watching our favorite TV shows, participating in social networking sites, or simply surfing the internet, too many of us waste our precious time on things that do not matter most to us. Now you may be thinking, this is not me. However, do you know how much time a week you spend watching TV, or cruising the internet? Really, do you know for sure? If not, keep track of it. Time yourself each time you begin watching TV or “facebooking” to see how much time you spend each day. I promise you that most of us will be surprised when we do this exercise. And only by knowing the time we spend on less important items in our life can we effectively determine if and how much fat we can cut. In the end, I believe each of us has some fat to cut that will allow us to better utilize our time and energy on what matters most to us.

#3 What is the Worst that can Happen

For most of us we can get caught up worrying about all the little things that can or may go wrong that really are not that big of deal. In order to overcome this, we must think in worst case scenario. For example, I may stress all day that I won’t have enough time to get the laundry done. Looking at worst case scenario though if I don’t get the laundry done tonight it does mean I won’t get to wear my favorite shirt tomorrow (which is what I’d prefer to do) and instead will have to wear my green one but is that really a big deal? Sure not wearing my favorite shirt may not be ideal but hey, the worst case scenario is something I can handle and live with. Many of us spend our lives worrying about minor items that when truth be told, the worst case scenario is something we can effectively deal with and is not worth stressing over. And in the end, we will realize that even the worst case scenarios happen less often than not.

#4 Prioritize and Plan

Planning and prioritizing is important. We do not have time to do it all. Very few of us have Superman like capabilities thus trying to take on the world is an impossibility. Therefore, prioritizing what is most important to you then doing that first will result in a happier and more satisfying life and will reduce the stress. Additionally, just because something is “urgent” does not mean it is important. For example, I may feel it is urgent that I clean the kitchen because I have guests coming over tonight however though not seemingly urgent I may feel that my daughter is down and that I should probably talk to her. Thus in this situation I may forego my need to clean the kitchen to impress my guests and instead spend some extra time with my daughter which is a higher priority to me.

#5 Be Flexible

Once we’ve come up with a plan we must be flexible. Things are constantly changing and that is part of the fun in life if we learn to embrace it. When you plan, it cannot become so restrictive that again we fail to do what is most important. Having a plan is important and will help us maximize our time and energy however also being flexible when necessary with the plan will help us reduce stress in our lives.

#6 Do the Best you Can

Finally we do not need to try and be perfect but we should try and do the best we can. We will make mistakes. We will be stressed out at times. We will waste time, forget to plan and prioritize, dwell on non-consequential worries, and live in the past or future at times and that is ok. If we can follow these suggestions to the best of our ability however and continuously strive to improve, our stress levels will go down, our feelings of being over-whelmed will lessen, and our satisfaction and success in life will increase.

Disrupting our Lives

I recently was forwarded a video clip that featured a lecturer named Whitney Johnson who I felt had some very interesting perspectives.  Though I was unable to hear the entire lecture one thought seemed very intriguing to me.  The speaker talked about how many of the most successful people in life reach this status because they deliberately disrupt themselves.  Let me explain.

Often we get in ruts or funks and lose interest or an intense desire to be the best we can be at whatever we are doing.  This lecturer challenges us to disrupt ourselves in these moments and do something about it, something different.  Whether that is start a new career, learn a new skill, find a new job, develop a new talent, whatever it might be we have to change our course and “disrupt” our lives. 

Why?  Because without disrupting ourselves we never realize our full potential and we miss out on opportunities we may have otherwise had.  Disruption in our life in a way is self-imposed stress, and hopefully the good kind that pushes us to be better.  Without disruption in our lives we do become complacent, bored, ornery, and feelings of helplessness and diminished value of self-begin to set in.

Now you may being saying to yourself, I have more stress than I can handle as is, and you are asking me to deliberately add more to it! The argument for this is that disrupting ourselves may cause added temporary short-term stress but in the long run, our stress level will decrease and often decrease significantly.  In fact the lecture mentions that not only in times of boredom or lack of interest but also in times of engagement and excitement should we find ways to disrupt ourselves.  Only by doing this can we truly reach our full potential.            

Most of us do not disrupt our lives for many reasons even though often we feel we should.  Perhaps the most common reason is because of fear.  We fear we won’t like our new change in life, or we will lose something we already have.    This fear may be also caused by a possible change in status, income, or peer pressures.  Truly disrupting our lives will make us step out of our comfort zone and may cause us to take on a new position that pays us much less, or force us to walk in new social circles.  These types of disruptions often are what we avoid in life but actually can bring about much good and satisfaction in life.  In fact, the lecturer noted that many individuals who left higher more prestigious jobs in order to take a lower paying job soon found themselves ahead of where they once were. 

In the end purposely disrupting our lives I equate to taking intelligent risks.  Risk takers are nearly always the most successful in life because they dare to be different, they dare to do things most others won’t.  I’ve learned that taking intelligent risks does pay off.  And it nearly always builds self-confidence and increases satisfaction in life along the way. 

So what are we waiting for?!  When the time is right, we need not hesitate, we need to disrupt our lives and find new ways to live a more happy and successful life.   

Success in Leading Others

“The man who cannot control himself can never control others.”
Napoleon Hill

There is a very obvious key to success in leadership and that is to be the type of leader you yourself would want to follow.  Think about this for a minute.  What kind of people do you follow in life or have you learned from and followed at some time in your life?  What made you follow them?  Do you possess those same traits?  Do you do those same things, or try to be like the people you’ve followed?  We’ve all been inspired by others, so do we try to learn from others?  

Too often, if we are honest with ourselves, the answer is no.  The truth is, it is extremely difficult to be the type of people we ourselves would like to follow.  We often know what others like in a leader, we know what makes a good leader, we know the things that will help us be more effective, yet we just can’t seem to consistently do them.  Having the discipline to be that type of leader is rare indeed, but it is always worth the effort to get there, and it can be done.

Too often we get upset with people when they do not follow our lead or do what we ask but usually, we are the guilty ones as in most instances, if our leaders behaved the way we did, we would probably have a similar reaction.  Learning to lead others by being an example to them and being the type of person you yourself would admire, respect, and follow is an important part to becoming a great leader. 

So though we may not be perfect, we should be striving to lead the way we’d like to be led.  We should embrace those actions, traits, behaviors, etc. that people we’ve followed, that we truly enjoyed following, had.  If we are finding it difficult to lead others, this simple idea may be our breakthrough.  This simple thought of sincerely trying to be the person we would want to follow may turn around our success as leaders.  All we have to do is embrace it, and honestly take action and make a concerted effort to be better. 

I know we have the potential and capacity within us to do this.  We can be the person we ourselves would follow! 

The Most Important Trait for Leaders

This is a wonderful time of year when many of us soften our hearts, slow down, and give thanks for all of our many blessings in life.  During this Thanksgiving season I’d like to focus on a leadership trait which is perhaps the absolute most important to possess in order to become a great leader yet is seldom talked about and discussed.  In fact, this trait would probably be towards the bottom of the list when labeling the qualities of history’s great leaders yet most of them possessed it.  And I am convinced that this trait is perhaps the most significant and important to a leader’s success.  The trait is humility. 

In leadership, humility can be very rare as many leaders allow their position to enlarge their ego making them think they may be superior to those they lead.  Humility on the other hand has no arrogance or proudness, deflects ego, and gives credit to others whenever there is success.  Humble leaders shun attention and are never boastful.   Humble leaders therefore stand out and inspire others to follow because of their humility.     

Humility is often what separates the great leaders from simply the good.  Arrogance and pride often leads to a leader’s demise.  Leaders who possess humility on the other hand earn and keep the trust and respect of those who follow them.  One reason is because humility allows leaders to focus on what is most important rather than on who is most important.  

Because of the scarcity of it among leaders, those who are truly humble are instantly unique.  Those who are humble do not focus on themselves but rather on others.   Humility makes decision making clearer as arrogance or pride can cloud our vision.  Humility opens doors for leaders that would otherwise stay closed because it permits leaders to be open-minded and seek the best solutions rather than simply protecting their point of view.

Many people associate humility with meekness or weakness but in great leaders, it is a source of strength.  Rather than feeling the need to toot their own horn frequently, they instead have the discipline to work hard and quietly get results without the need of parading their accomplishments around.  Humble leaders are secure with who they are and do not require recognition from others.

Finally, humility makes a leader more grateful for others and helps them recognize the great contribution of others toward their success.  No leader has ever gained success without help from many. 

This Thanksgiving season I encourage all of us to practice just a little more humility.  Find ways to listen to others point of view, avoid being boastful, give sincere thanks as often as possible, and try saying “you are right.”  As we learn to be humble, our leadership capabilities will greatly expand and our influence for good will increase.  Happy Thanksgiving.    

Why Wait!

One of the weaknesses of mankind, especially in our day and age is our tendency toward procrastination.   No matter who we are or how good we are at getting things done all of us in some form or from one time to another procrastinates…and many of us have made it a habit.  So why don’t we do things right away when we know they need to be done?  Why are we not constantly engaged in activities that will bring us success and happiness in life?  Below are what I believe to be the top three reasons for our tendency to procrastinate. 

#1 Fear

We often allow fear to delay our actions.  Whether it because we are afraid we won’t succeed or afraid of what others might think many times we put things off because of fear.  And often times this fear will not go away until we act.  Allowing fear to dictate our actions leads us down an unrewarding path.    Procrastinating because of fear hinders our ability to find success and satisfaction in life. 

#2 Lazy

Procrastination is often due to pure laziness.  We know there is work to be done be instead we choose to indulge in things that may bring immediate and temporary delight but really provides us with no long lasting sense of satisfaction and accomplishment.  Often we put things off because we know they will be hard, unpleasant, or at the very least less exciting than what other options may offer to us at the time.  The sad thing is this often keeps us from the doing the things that matter most and causes us to fall short of our goals       

#3 Ignorance 

Sometimes procrastination is simply done out of ignorance or habit.  We procrastinate not fully understanding what may be most important to do at any given time or procrastinate simply without realizing we are doing it.  Perhaps we may not understand the value of each moment of our life or we may not know how to properly maximize or prioritize our precious time. Failing to have plans, goals, and a vision in place, or truly understanding what is most important to us in life can lead to this type of procrastination.  Procrastination due to ignorance results in aimlessly wandering from task to task without ever really accomplishing much.  To overcome this type of procrastination we must frequently ask ourselves what can I do right now to help me best achieve my goals, and then do it.       

In the end, no matter the reasons, procrastination nearly always leads to regret, disappointment, and lower self-confidence.  Thus it is important for us to know three of the most common reasons why we procrastinate and then try to recognize them in our life and work to overcome them.  We need to ask ourselves why wait when we know we have a task at hand or things to be completed that will help us achieve our goals and purpose in life.  When we act immediately, rather than wait or delay, we will gain much greater levels of respect, success, confidence, and satisfaction in life.  

A Jar, Some Sand, and A lot of Rocks

A wise, old teacher placed three items in front of her students on a table—a jar, a bag full of sand, and a large handful of rocks.   The teacher peered over her reading glasses at the students and issued a challenge to her class.  The challenge was to try and fit all of the rocks and all of the sand in to the clear jar.  The young students doubted it would all cram in to the small jar but they could tell their teacher was serious and wanted them to try.  So the class quickly followed their first inclinations and poured the sand easily in to the jar and then tried to force in the rocks.  They soon discovered they were right as they could only force about half of the rocks in to the jar on top of sand.  The teacher then emptied the jar and asked if the class would like to try again however the students insisted it was impossible.  After all they had tried it once and it didn’t work so why even attempt to do it again?

To the amazement of her class, the teacher disappointingly said, “students, both the rocks and the sand can fit in the jar.” She could tell the students still doubted her so she proved it by first squeezing in the rocks, which nearly filled the entire jar, and then she carefully dumped in the sand which slowly filled the spaces and cracks between the rocks.  The students were surprised and most of them took notice that there was even a little bit of room to spare at the top of the jar when all of the sand had settled. 

I’m sure the student’s learned some valuable lessons that day.  I enjoy this object lesson because I believe it can teach us so many things.    Today I’d like to share three of my favorites.    

#1  Raise our Vision

Many times we observe a difficult challenge or task at hand and we immediately believe it will be impossible to accomplish.  This lack of vision hurts our ability to be successful.  Often times because of this self-doubt, we quickly fail to put forth our best effort because we’ve already decided the challenge is too difficult.  Much like the students believed from the very beginning that the task at hand was impossible and then quickly proved it by pouring the sand in to the jar first, we often put forth a not so well thought out and no so valiant effort to show we at least tried and to prove to ourselves and others that in fact the task was impossible.  Rather than face challenges in this way, we need to raise our vision and see the many possibilities that surround us despite the challenges we face.  We need to have the attitude of “I can do this!” 

#2  Put First thing First

Many times we are unsuccessful in life because we fail to prioritize appropriately.  Rather than starting with the rocks and then moving on to the sand, we do the opposite which causes a lack of success and satisfaction in our life.  When we learn to prioritize and focus first on those things that matter most, we always seem to find time to add the sand.  Though it is not easy and requires a great deal of discipline, let’s start with the rocks in our life and then move to the sand. 

#3 Try, try again

The students were reluctant to try again once they failed.  We too are like this.  However, if we would take the time to reevaluate the situation and try again and again, we would find much more success and satisfaction in our lives.  At it has been said, it is impossible to defeat someone who never gives up.  If we keep trying, eventually we will succeed.          

I love this object lesson and have taken an opportunity to use it when instructing others because of the powerful lessons that can be learned from it.  Raising our vision, putting first things first, and always trying again are lessons that if applied will lead us to greater success.    

Law of Restoration

There are certain laws we must understand in order to obtain success.  These are often referred to as universal laws because they apply to all.  No one can cheat them, avoid them, overcome them, or not abide by them.  We are all subject to them and because of this, it is important that we learn what they are so that we can use them to our advantage.  Failing to do so will only hinder our progress and ability to be successful in life.  Today I’d like to write about one of these laws.  This particular universal law in my mind is often over looked or not well understood.  It is the Law of Restoration. 

The Law of Restoration essentially means that everything we do will be restored unto us or that which we send out into the universe shall return to us again.  Therefore, if we do good, good will come back to us.  If we do bad, or take advantage of others, or we are dishonest, etc., then those things will come back to us as well.  Everyone at some point in time will receive their just reward—their actions will be restored unto them.  Perhaps we could say this law is kind of like “Karma” and we’d be right.    

Just as it is impossible to plant an orange tree and receive apples, because of this law, in the same way it is impossible to do evil and receive good in return.  And the opposite is also true. Now you may be saying what a minute, I know plenty of people who are doing things wrong yet are enjoying great success right now.  The key to this statement is right now.  The Law of Restoration takes time to manifest itself.  It does not happen immediately and often times requires patience, hope, and faith on our part but this law will always come through.  It is a universal law that cannot be denied.    

As a parent I often find myself teaching my children about consequences.  For every action, I tell them, there is a consequence.  Through this simple lesson I am essentially teaching them about the universal Law of Restoration.  The consequence may be immediate or it may come weeks, years, or maybe even nearly a life time later but there are always consequences to our actions that will come.  Again, this is the Law of Restoration.    

Another way to explain this law is that we will all one day partake of the fruit of our labors whether they be good or evil.  If we sow good seeds than one day we will enjoy good fruit.  If the seeds we sow are bad, than bad fruit will be our reward.  If we seek to do good, we will have that which is good restored unto us and if we seek to do evil, we will have evil restored unto us—it is that simple.    

Understanding the Law of Restoration will greatly improve our lives and our success.  We must understand that honest hardwork and dedication will yield fruit.  Let’s take advantage of this law by doing all we can to have that which is good restored unto us!

Up to Us

“As human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions.”
Stephen R. Covey

One of the most important things in life is our ability to choose.  We can choose to be happy or sad, to have a good attitude or bad, to work hard or be lazy, to take ownership for our results or blame others, and on and on.  It is truly amazing to me to know that the power is ours to make these choices and that no one is able to force us to be sad, lazy, or have a bad attitude because the choice is ours alone. 

So why do so many people live in misery?  Why are so many people unhappy?  Do we really choose this?  The answer is yes, we do.  And the reason so many of us do I think is because too often we believe we do not have a choice.  We believe in some way the world controls our happiness or our outcomes in life. This belief nearly always destroys our ability to be happy, and it is wrong.  The choice really is ours. 

So the challenge for today is to not allow others to control us or believe that we are not in control.  We cannot permit someone else to “put us” in a bad mood, “force us” to quit, or “lead us” to poor outcomes.  Because in reality, we make those choices not them.  Regardless of what is said, how we are treated, or what happens to us, we still decide.  To give people the power to control us or our attitudes, or actions, or behaviors, because of their actions is a choice we choose.  Let’s not make that choice.  Let’s decided now that we and only we will determine our attitudes, behaviors, happiness, and outcomes in life because we can!  Our success and happiness in life is really only up to us.      

Where is Your Heart--Part 2

Last week I wrote about the importance of our hearts and how this vital organ not only pumps our entire body full of life but it also holds the desires, feelings, and passion we have.  And because of this, what is in our hearts will often determine our success and happiness in life.  One of the greatest discoveries of life is that we can and do control what is in our heart.  So below are four easy things we can do to ensure our heart is in the right place and centered on the right things so that we can obtain the success and happiness in life we desire. 

#1—Reflect

Last week I gave a suggestion on how to ensure our hearts are in the right place and that is by simple, honest reflection.  I like to ask myself from time to time, “where is my heart”?  This question makes me pause and allows me to truly determine if my heart is in the right place or if it is off course.  Just admitting that I have a problem or that I am off course is really a good first step to making changes and filling my heart with the right desires.     

 

#2—Evaluate

Another good way to fill our hearts with the desires we want is by closely evaluating how we spend our time.   Many of us spend time in ways that make it difficult for us to have our hearts in the right place.  We essentially give our hearts away by participating in activities that fill our heart with things contrary to what we truly desire.  Whether it is the type of entertainment we choose, the people we decide to hang around, or the places we go, nearly all of us spend time doing things that have a negative impact on what is in our heart. Often we also tell ourselves that participating in these activities from time to time really doesn’t matter too much but we are all influenced by everything we do—so it does matter.  For this reason we must evaluate if what we are doing helps or hurts our hearts, if it contributes to what we want our hearts full of or not.  If we are serious about protecting our hearts, we must completely eliminate all of those activities that do not contribute to our success.    

#3—Help

Another way to help our hearts be in the right place at all times is by serving others.  When we can remove our own personal worries, fears, wants, and desires, by focusing on someone else’s needs, desires, and wants, our heart is strengthened.  I’m not sure why this is but I’ve found that it always works.  We live in a very self-centered, self-gratifying society that robs our hearts of this simple way to strength our heart.  By helping others we really begin to help ourselves because we fill our hearts with good, strong desires and passions.     

#4—Do

There are certain activities we know that strengthen our hearts and reinforce the desires we want to have in them.  Some examples may be spending time with our families, reading an uplifting book, participating in religious services, listening to good music, visiting a close friend, volunteering in our community, or maybe even more physically active undertakings such as hiking, running, or biking.  Whatever it might be we need to identify activities that place and build the desires we want in our heart and then do them as often as possible.  These activities may be different for each person and may change over time but knowing what activities help us to have our hearts in the right place and then doing them often will greatly help us. 

Our hearts are powerful organs that greatly determine our success and happiness in life.  If we can find ways to best fill them and control what is in them, we can then be much more successful and happier in life.  I know we all can make great strides in making sure our hearts are filled with the desires, feelings, and passions we most want. 

Where is Your Heart?

“The heart is at the center of being.”

The heart is one of the most critical organs in our body.  Its main function is to pump blood throughout the body, essentially giving life.  Our heart in many ways also holds and controls our desires and feelings.  Our heart can drive us, motivate us, push us, guide us, and steer us in life.  This is important as many people fail or succeed in life because of what is in their heart.

One question I ask myself from time to time is “Where is my heart?”  What I mean by this is what is it focused on today, what feelings are in it, and what desires are there.  This simple question allows me to evaluate and reflect on what is in my heart, helping me determine if my heart is in the right place.  I have to admit that many times when I find myself asking this question it is often because my heart is not in the “right place” or at least it seems to be off course from where I want it to be.   Recognizing this allows me to change my course and “refill” my heart with the desires, passions, and feelings I truly hope for and that are most important to me.  This simple exercise is vital.

We control our heart.  Some people may choose not to believe this but we absolutely control the desires, feelings, and passions within our heart.  If we have the wrong desires, we can change—and should change.  If our heart is filled with anger, jealously, bitterness, regret, fear, lust, pain, sorrow, etc. we need to change that and we can.  It takes discipline, honest self-evaluation, and strength but changing what is in our heart is very possible.      

Many influences that surround us today try to steal or destroy our hearts.  They do this by trying to fill them with things contrary to our true desires.  We cannot allow this to happen.  We must protect our hearts and remember that ultimately we control what is in them.  It is important to remain focused on what truly matters to us and we must constantly work at keeping them soft and open to love.  We must ensure the right things are continually in our hearts.  Having our hearts in the right place leads to a better life.     

So, where is your heart?  Is it involved and engaged in those things that matter most to you or has it wandered off on to less fulfilling and less important matters?  Or has it become hardened and bitter?  We must take control of our hearts and do all we can to cultivate the desires, passions, and feelings we want most.  For the desires in our hearts will lead us to success and happiness in life.  Where is your heart?    

Next week I will share some thoughts on how we can keep our hearts filled with the right things.   

Achieving Much Greater Results in Life

How much of the time we spend during our day contributes to our success in life?  How much of what we do really helps us?  According to the Pareto Principle, 20% of what we do gives us 80% of our results.  What does this mean?  It means we could be doing so much more to maximize our time.  It means we could be achieving much greater results in life. 

In today’s world it is time for us to be efficient.  The economy is slow, the world is flat, and competition is fierce.  Therefore, for us to succeed in life, we must spend our time most often on those things that produce results.  For us to be successful, we don’t have the leeway we perhaps once enjoyed in times past to not take advantage of every moment of our day.  Much like businesses today, as individuals we must “cut the fat” out of how we spend our time and make sure we are focusing on those things that help us get results and matter most.

So how do we know what 20% of our time is helping us achieve 80% of our results in life?  This is a good question and I believe if we are truly honest with ourselves, we probably have a pretty good idea.  For the most part, time spent watching TV or movies, playing video games, surfing the internet, or perusing social media sights is probably time not very well spent.  As a society, I worry we spend too much time doing these things, and by so doing we rob ourselves of the opportunities that surround us.  It is time for us to invest in ourselves, to take control of our lives, to be disciplined, and spend our time in making us better.  It is time we give ourselves the chance to succeed by doing what we know will help us achieve results. 

So how are you spending your time?  If we are a Pareto Principle statistic meaning 80% of our results are coming from 20% of our time, then we are not doing good enough!   We can do better, we owe it to ourselves!!  Each day is a blessing and an opportunity to be better.  Break the Pareto Principle trend and find ways to invest more time in those activities that lead to success.  It won’t always be easy, but I believe it will be well worth it when all is said and done.   

"We Become What We Think About"

“If you think you are beaten, you are,
If you think you dare not, you don’t
If you like to win, but you think you can’t,
It is almost certain you won’t.

If you think you’ll lose, you’re lost

For out of the world we find,
Success begins with a fellow’s will—
It’s all in the state of mind.

If you think you are outclassed, you are,

You’ve got to think high to rise,
You’ve got to be sure of yourself before
You can ever win the prize.

Life’s battles don’t always go
To the stronger or faster man,
But soon or late the man who wins
Is the man who thinks he can!”
 
Earl Nightingale, Think and Grow Rich, Page 59

A Critical Secret to Success

This post was originally published on Burntham August ‘10

One of the most critical aspects of life that is often undervalued is the power of our simple daily decisions. Too often we believe simple choices are unimportant or irrelevant to our big dreams. For example, we fail to connect how eating an unhealthy snack today may contribute to our poor health tomorrow or how our wasted time today will impact our results in the future. It is important to know that small choices accumulate and overtime become our success or our grief.

Everyday small decisions are the road map to our success as they steer us indisputably toward our destiny. If we learn to make good simple decisions daily and consistently, overtime it will produce great results. This is an undeniable fact. Each day we are capable of making small yet exceptional choices that will shape our future in a positive way. As Robert K. Cooper explained in his book The Other 90%, “although we may dream about our future in splendid images, we must live our lives in practical everyday actions, one after another.” These actions are the bedrock for happiness and success.

Our life is not mostly shaped by an occasional large decision that may come our way from time to time, but rather by our daily small decisions. It’s in small decisions where success and failures are won. And as we make good small daily decisions, it will become easier and easier to make good large decisions when they do come.

Indeed it has been said that if we tell a man what we are doing today, he will be able to tell us the person we will be tomorrow. What we are doing right now matters! However small or insignificant right now seems, it matters!

So let’s start today, right now, to be conscious of our daily small decisions and believe they hold the key to our future. For what we do today, right now, will determine who we become tomorrow.

First Break All the Rules Rewind

“Leadership is lifting a person’s vision to high sights, the raising of a person’s performance to a higher standard, the building of a personality beyond its normal limitations.”  Peter F. Drucker

Recently I had the opportunity to re-read First Break All the Rules by Marcus Buckingham and Curt Coffman. This is a good book that opens the eyes, minds, and hearts of its readers as it teaches them how to be more effective managers and leaders.  The book shares the message that the most effective managers are successful because they buck many of the common management traditions and focus almost solely on putting their people first.  I believe the above quote by Peter F. Drucker really sums up what the book is trying to teach.  Below are in my opinion some of the most valuable insights from the book for leaders and mangers and they are applicable to all regardless of industry or leadership position. 

#1 “Managers trump companies”

People leave poor management.  If a company has a turnover problem, and is losing a lot of talent, it is extremely likely that the number one cause is the management team.   It is a misconception to believe people leave their place of business mostly for more money, better benefits, or shorter commutes.  The truth is people do not leave companies, they leave people.  If you want to keep your best, you don’t need better benefits, more time off, or an increase in pay, rather you simply need better managers.  And to retain great managers, you must be a great one yourself.    

#2 “The employee is the star and the manager is the agent”

Before completing certain tasks, impressing their boss, finishing reports on time, improving productivity, or reaching certain goals, the best managers put being a catalyst for their team members first and foremost.  These leaders focus on developing their people and helping them to discover their strengths and be successful.  Great leaders realize it is impossible to force someone to do anything.  Instead great managers are experts at helping their people find their own path to success.  And this focus on their people leads to excellent results. 

#3  “Strong companies become experts in the destination and give the individual the thrill of the journey”

Great managers simply create a vision and then allow their people the freedom to determine how to arrive there.  Rather than define every step, smart companies describe the targets.  Micromanaging or over controlling will simply result in unhappy people and ultimately poor outcomes. 

#4 “We all hate to be ignored”

This is a simple fact and for this reason, the best managers spend the most amount of time with their best people.  This often seems impossible and very contradictory to how most of us operate but great leaders make a concerted effort to ensure this happens.  People naturally crave attention and the more you give it as a leader, the more people will do what it is that is getting your attention.  For this reason, focus on your best, spend the most time with them, and then the best is what you will get in return. 

#5 “Average thinking actively limits performance”

If you are simply trying to be average or just above average then you are grossly underestimating the ability and desires of your team.  Great people don’t want to be average; they want to be the best.  As leaders, we should have very high standards and not accept average as satisfactory.  By doing this, always upholding high standards, we will attract the best people to us and our organizations and will get the best results in return. 

First Break all the Rules is a great book for new or experienced leaders and managers.  Applying the ideas taught in its pages will help any leader to be more successful and become a better leader.       
To see how I rated this book, click here    

Finding Peace

Finding inner peace has been a quest since the beginning of mankind.  Throughout history there have been many methods developed and ideas shared about how to find peace.  I believe each of us to a certain extent seeks for peace in our mind, in our heart, and in our soul whether we actively realize it or not.  So the quest continues and I believe in our time it has become much more difficult. 

Peace is an interesting topic and idea because even the very thought of desiring peace can sabotage our efforts as any sort of worry or stress disturbs peace.  So how do we free ourselves from stresses and worries?  How do we gain peace? Though I do not certainly have any profound answers, a few ideas that have helped me obtain and feel peace in my life are below.  

Media Reduction

Have you ever shut out the world for a while meaning no internet, tv, radio, cell phone etc.?  I have experimented with this and continue to do so because I believe it is so much easier to find peace without technology and the media.  There is so much to worry about and so much stress comes in to our lives through the media which often we do not realize.  Shutting it out for a day or two or even a week or a month will help us find peace.  I invite you to give it a try.

Following our Conscious

Peace comes when we do what we feel and know we should do.  This seems simple in theory but is very difficult in practice.  We constantly self-betray ourselves by not following our conscious.  Instead we make excuses why we don’t follow it and this leads to constant stress, unrest, and worry.  Having the discipline to follow our conscious will bring peace. 

Family Time

I have found great peace while spending time with my family.  I realize all family situations and relationships are different and many can be strained, abusive, and/or otherwise stressful but if possible, try to spend some quality time with those you care about most.  This is time where you are just focused on your family and I believe this time will help you find some peace. 

Seeing People

Peace can also come when we see people as people.  Too often we treat and view others as objects rather than human beings with similar thoughts, feelings, struggles, and emotions as us.  Even in conflict we can learn to treat people as people and can gain peace.  If we can find a way to see people for who they are, peace will increase in our lives.     

Finding peace is not easy and probably will be a lifelong pursuit for each of us.  As we find peace, our ability to share it with others and influence and lead others will grow.  Thus, striving for it is worth it and by applying some of the suggestions above, I am confident peace will increase in your life. 

The Blessing of Work

The last week gave me the opportunity to participate in some hard manual labor in the extremely hot Texas summer sun.  Though I somewhat dreaded the necessary tasks at hand, I actually truly enjoyed it.  Let me tell you why. 

I believe joy comes when we work hard.  For whatever reason, it is gratifying to push ourselves, extend our talents and efforts, and accomplish a goal.  Hard work is extremely satisfying and our ability to do it is a blessing.  When the tasks at hand were accomplished this past week, I felt exhausted but also great for what I had been able to achieve.  In fact, I still feel good about it.    

Doing something hard can bring us a great sense of pride and accomplishment.  Hard work I believe boosts our self-esteem and confidence.  When we know we have done something hard, it gives us confidence we can do it again and again.  I also believe it can boost our energy and mental capacity.  The positive effects of hard work can be pretty remarkable really. 

So if hard work can be so good, why do so many of us avoid it all the time?  This is a good question.  It is human nature to want to avoid hard things and I believe our society more and more diminishes the value of hard work.  Instead in many ways we promote that gaining something for nothing is much better than actually exerting our own effort.  This idea robs us of our sense of self-worth.  Because of this prevailing belief, it seems fewer and fewer people are participating in or are even willing to work hard.  This trend I am afraid is and will continue to have an extremely negative impact on our society because of the many blessings and positive effects that come from working hard. 

The ability to work hard is a blessing in our lives and we need to take advantage of it.  Next time we are asked to do something difficult, we should be excited by the challenge and the feelings we will feel when we complete the task.  Rather than look for ways to get out of work, let’s enjoy the satisfaction that comes from it!!   

Change the World

Recently I’ve been very inspired by others—and I love that!  I too hope to inspire others in my own way.  Though many of you may already know about these people, as each has become famous in their own way, I’d like to share with you who I have been inspired by this past week. 

First is Aaron Collins.  I heard Aaron’s story on the news while driving home from work.  According to the news story I heard, Aaron who had recently passed away at the age of 30, loved to give big tips after eating out at restaurants, especially to rude or stressed out waiters or waitresses.  One time, Aaron gave a $50 tip to a waitress who had been extremely rude and he reported that the tip completely changed her attitude, outlook, and behavior almost immediately.  Aaron loved to see these types of changes in people and as his dying wish asked that his family give a $500 tip to a waiter or waitress and that is exactly what they are doing.  Now people across the country have been inspired to give big tips to make someone else’s day.  Pretty cool story.  You can learn more about Aaron’s story at aaroncollins.org.

Second is Lindsey Stirling.  Lindsey is a dancing violinist.  I was sent her story in an email and read how she is becoming well-known because of her talents in playing the violin while dancing.  I also learned that for the most part she taught herself how to play as well as dance because her family could not afford lessons.  I love how she boldly shares her talents and is doing what she loves to do.  You can watch a video of Lindsey at http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vp63nbOfxgs and I think you will be impressed and inspired as I was. 

Finally is Matt Harding who brings the world together in dance.  Dancing is fun, makes people happy, and brings people together.  You can see Matt’s world dance at http://www.youtube.com/watch_popup?v=Pwe-pA6TaZk&.    

Watching, hearing, and learning about these individuals makes me want to be a better person.  They in some way are making a difference and leaving a mark on this world.  In their own ways, they are inspiring others.      

Like them, I have a great desire to have a positive impact on others.   Like them, I want to leave this world a better place; I want to change it for good.  And I believe each of us can.  Most often it won’t be through huge, amazing things that we do but rather in simple ways like a fifty dollar tip.  I believe each of us regardless of our background, education, experience, social status, income level, etc. can have a tremendous impact on others and on the world.  I believe each one of us is unique and in our own ways can make a significant contribution and difference.  I hope I find my way to do it, and I hope you find yours too.  Let’s change the world!      

Be like the Bee

The beauty of life is that we can learn so much from so many different things in life and sometimes in the most unexpected ways.  For example, nature is a great way to learn and as I’ve studied leadership and our capacity and ability to reach our full potential and truly become all that we can be, I’ve ran into several articles on bees that always seem to fascinate me.  They fascinate me because every time I read them, I think we must be much more like them and that if we were, we could discover much greater results in our lives.  Below are five examples of why we must be more like bees and how doing so will help find greater success. 

#1 Efficient

Bees are extremely efficient.  They rarely (if ever) waste time or take a day off.  They know what they have to do to be successful and so they go to work doing it.  They don’t have bad days, procrastinate, or waste even a few seconds of their day.  They work hard and are focused the entire day on the task at hand.  If we could learn to be as efficient as a bee, our time would be much better utilized and maximized to accomplish our goals in life.       

#2 Hard Working

This efficiency leads to hard work.  Bees work tirelessly to reach their end goal.  They seem to know that honey doesn’t make itself.  They work hard for their results and don’t rely on others or hope for good luck.  They know their hard work will pay off in the end.  If we could adopt the same work ethic as a bee, our outcomes in life would be significantly improved.      

#3 Team Work 

From what I understand, most bees come from a hive or swarm and thus they work together to gain success.  Rather than simply relying on themselves and their own efforts, they help each other in order to have great outcomes.  Where one bee may struggle another bee picks up the slack.  Bees seem to understand that a group or team of bees can always accomplish more together than an individual.  Likewise, as we work together and support each other, our ability to be successful is greatly enhanced.    

#4 Visionary

Bees have tremendous vision—they literally see the future first and then make it a reality.  What I mean by this is bees eyes are in the exact shape of the honeycomb they produce.  Thus, they envision what they want and then make it happen.  If we could have the focus and vision of bees by knowing what we wanted and believing we could make it happen, our ability to be successful would increase tremendously. 

#5 Resilient

Finally, bees never give up.  Though flower or nectar may be far from home, they search until they find what they are looking for.  A bee does not seem to get discouraged or distracted easily but instead continues to press forward until the goal at hand is accomplished.  If we could match a bees resiliency and never give up, even when facing great obstacles or roadblocks, our ability to come out on top would vastly improve.     

Bees are amazing insects and learning to be more “bee like” in our lives will greatly improve our results.  If we can learn to be more efficient, hardworking, team oriented, visionary, and resilient like bees, we will massively improve our success in life.  Thus we must be like the bee.     

Getting Results

“Winning isn’t everything, but wanting to is.” 
Arnold Palmer

I just finished re-reading The 5 Dysfunctions of a Team by Patrick Lencioni and I was struck again by the simpleness and the power of what I perceive to be the main message of the book.  And that main message is results.

We are on this earth in one way or another to produce results.  Really, that is our purpose and though the results we may be trying to produce are different from person to person, ultimately, we are judged by them.  The author points this out in regards to a team achieving results and notes that one of the main dysfunctions of a team is an “inattention to results”.  I believe the same applies to our personal lives.  One of the main problems that causes dysfunction, a lack of success, and discord or unhappiness in life is our inattention to results.

This fact is a little scary to most of us.  Many of us want to pretend that results really don’t matter that much.  Whether it is because we believe we really can’t control them, we are afraid to put forth the effort, or fear disappointment and regret if we don’t achieve them, we all seem to find reasons not to believe results are that important.  I believe however, when we accept this fact, and embrace this truth, though we may not always produce the results we desire, our results in the end will be so much greater than if we had ignored this fact.  Results are really what matter in life. 

Now you may be saying, now wait a minute, what kind of results are we talking about here, and that is a great question.  The results I am talking about probably vary some from one person to another but examples that encompass many of us include a happy home life, a positive contributor to society, a successful marriage, a productive and worthwhile career, strong family relationships, and good friendships.  These are some examples and our results in things that matter most to us in life is really all that matters.

We can pretend results are not that important and we came blame lots of things for our poor results.  Doing so in many ways is much easier than taking responsibility for and focusing on them.  In the end though, working toward results will bring more satisfaction and joy in life.    

So let’s not live a dysfunctional life by our “inattention to results.”  Let’s take our results seriously!  Let’s embrace the fact that results matter and then do all we can to produce the results we desire.  Life will certainly have its twists and turns that will be out of our control and will impact our results however, our attention to and efforts toward achieving the results we desire will bring great satisfaction, success, and happiness in life.