BurntHam Rewind: Are you a Critic, Cheerleader, or Coach?

Orginally posted on 9/15/11

In life, each of us has the opportunity to positively or negatively impact the people around us through our actions and our “ways of being” toward them. I’ve determined that typically we fall into three categories of how we influence and interact with others. I’ve also learned that we can be in different categories at different times toward the same person based on the given situation and that we may be typically in one category toward one person, such as our spouse, and typically in another category toward another person, such as a friend. No category is necessarily good or bad as all can potentially be both simply based on the situation and how we handle ourselves. Learning to know when to be each one in dealing with different situations and different people is the tricky part but doing so effectively can lead to great success in building relationships and motivating others. Below are the categories we typically fall in to when influencing others.

The Critic

First is the critic. The critic is constantly finding what is wrong. He points out faults, is careful not to make mistakes himself or show any weaknesses, and he judges and makes assumptions often. The critic is often someone that seems a little distant or closed minded. The critic is often harsh, deflating, and usually seems to be in an unpleasant mood. The critic seems oblivious to any good. As you can guess, many people do not like being around the critic but the critic can challenge us to view ourselves honestly and help us improve. There may be times when we all need critics to be our best. If not careful, being the critic often can potentially have a very negative impact on others.

The Cheerleader

Second is the cheerleader. The cheerleader is constantly cheering others on. Unlike the critic, the cheerleader points out only the good and ignores the bad. The cheerleader is nearly always positive and can inspire us to be better. The cheerleader has a way of being positive regardless if things are going good or bad. It may come as a surprise but the cheerleader can have both a positive and negative affect on others based on the situation and person because at times the cheerleader can create a false sense of reality and impede us from facing the brutal facts. Most of us like the cheerleader and want to be around them and many of us can use cheerleaders to help us through difficult times.

The Coach

Third is the coach. The coach is honest, open, and rational. The coach sees the bad and wants to help correct it but he also applauds the good frequently. The coach sacrifices for the good of others, sometimes risking short-term gains, friendships, and moments for long-term results. At times a coach can be annoying and challenging to work with but in the end, the coach is usually well liked and respected. The coach most often has a positive impact on others but not always. The coach can drive people to great results while helping them to feel good about their accomplishments.

Which way of being are we most often toward others? How about towards those we care about most in life? Analyzing these three categories can help us in our relationships and in our ability to be better leaders. At times people may need a critic, at times a cheerleader and at times a coach. Learning to know how and when to effectively be all three at different times and in different situations will greatly help us to be excellent relationship builders and outstanding leaders. Good luck!