Action for the New Year!

“An inch of movement will bring us closer to our goals than a mile of intention.”  Dr. Steve Maraboli

It is the start of a new year, a new beginning, a new opportunity to reset the course of our lives and the direction we are heading, and start anew.  The New Year brings hope, a rekindling of our inner fire, a reinvigorated focus and excitement for that which is to come.  The New Year brings with it new opportunities, a fresh start, and hopefully new goals that will push us toward our greatest desires.

As we set New Year resolutions or goals there is one word to keep in mind and that is action.  Action is what is required to become what we want to become.  Action is what is needed to achieve our goals.  Action is what will lead to success.  Without acting, we are stuck.  

Fear, despair, anxiety, or indifference, are all things that keep us from action.  We must push these feelings aside and move forward.  Taking action, taking steps to achieve our goals is what matters now.  Don’t let these negative feelings hold you down any more.  Don’t become lazy or indifferent, don’t make excuses.  Take action this moment that will help you achieve your wildest dreams.

That is my hope for you this New Year that you will be able to move to action, and move closer toward achieving your wildest dreams.  We can’t make progress without acting so let’s make 2016 the year for action.  Let’s start moving now, today—for the sooner we start moving the harder it will become to slow us down.  Action will lead us to becoming our best selves.  

I wish you all the best this coming New Year and know that as we take action we will see greater results than we ever have before.  Great feats begin with acting today.  Happy New Year!     

Christmas is Love

“Christmas is love in action.  Every time we love, every time we give, it’s Christmas.” 

Dale Evans

I love Christmas because Christmas is about love.  It is about finding a perfect gift that will make others light up with joy and excitement.  It is about sending warm wishes to friends, families, and neighbors.  It is about sharing and helping others.  It is about excitement and anticipation for what is to come. It is about warm hearts and warm feelings.  It is about family and getting together with those we care about most.  It is about unity and harmony. 

The most powerful force in the world is love.  Love can motivate us to do incredible things, to achieve remarkable feats, to do what otherwise would be unimaginable.  Love changes hearts, and changes minds.  Love mends relationships and brings the entire human family together.  Love squashes ill feelings and replaces them with the most desirable ones.  Love pushes us to be our best selves. 

From a religious perspective the story of Christmas is all about love.  It is about a Father sending his son, and allowing him to be sacrificed for the sake of others.  It is about a king being born in the most humble of circumstances.  It is about a son being willing to do whatever his father asks him to do.  And it is about a savior and redeemer who willingly suffers and dies for others. Indeed the Christmas story recounts the greatest demonstration of love in the history of mankind. 

Love requires work and sacrifice, but as we allow it to fill our hearts, it will change us for good.  Love transcends all differences, ills, misunderstandings, and hurt feelings.  Love has the power to make everything ok, better, wonderful.  Without love, we are nothing.  

If we are struggling in life, if we face a challenge that seems insurmountable, if we feel unsatisfied or unhappy, then we must simply love.  Love will heal all and will help us all to overcome any circumstance or difficulty we face.  Love will help us be successful in anything we do and fill us with joy and satisfaction.  If we want to be a great leader, if we want to influence others, if we want to make a difference in the world, we must love others.

I pray that love will fill each of our hearts this Christmas season.  May you and your loved ones be blessed during this time and throughout all the year!           

5 Ways to Keeping Positive

“An entire sea of water cannot sink a ship unless it gets inside the ship.  Similarly, the negativity of the world cannot get you down unless you allow it to get inside of you!”
Unknown

The world is a hard place to function at our highest level with so much negativity constantly swirling around us.  Avoiding negativity completely is impossible yet there is a lot we can do to limit our exposure and stop the negativity from getting inside. 

Too often though we get stuck in the negatives, dwelling on failures much more than our gains.  Most of us are conditioned to lean toward the negative.  And some studies have shown that it is a lot easier for people to dwell on and accept the bad than the good.  It is also proven that once we view something as negative, that negativity gets “stuck”, and the ability to view that same thing in a different way becomes very difficult. 

Understanding this reality that the negative can come quicker, and sticks easier and longer helps us realize we must begin the process of staying positive.  Remaining positive requires work but is well worth it.  Here are 5 simple ways to keeping more positive. 

The first thing we can do is avoid inviting negativity into our life.  Knowing that the negative is hard to shake, we can remove our exposure to it.  For example, not long ago I subscribed to a news feed so that I could keep up with what was going on in the world. Though I was better informed with daily updates, I realized how negative the news was and that I was reading it nearly every morning.  This bad news instantly brought negativity to my day.  I’ve noticed a difference since unsubscribing to the news feed.  Much like this simple example, we often innocently invite negativity into our life.  Look for ways to eliminate the negative form your life and seek opportunities to surround yourself with the positive.            

Another way to stay positive is to express gratitude.  Something as simple as training ourselves to make a daily list of things we are grateful for can help clear our minds of negative thoughts and help us stay grounded in the good. 

Another way to thwart out the negative is to share good news with others.  Too often when we talk we are sharing something negative.  Try hard to become aware of what you are sharing and frequently share the good.  Doing so has a positive effect not only on you but others as well. 

Smiling more is another simple way.  I know to some this may sound silly but making a conscious effort to smile more will help you stay positive and energized.  

One last thing we can do is forgive others.  Many of us are holding on to grudges or injustices in our life which only produce negativity.  Let these things go as they are never worth the energy and bad feelings they produce. 

Finally, there are many negative things that we do that we are told are helpful but usually aren’t.  One common one is venting or sharing our frustrations with others.  People sometimes say that getting it out and laying it on the table helps but venting normally does not do anyone any good.  Instead it trains our minds to focus on the bad and often leads us to exaggerate and feel worse than we had originally felt in the first place.  It also can bring the person down with whom we are sharing the information with. 

So remember, once we focus on the negative it gets stuck and makes it hard for us to reverse our perspective and our course.  It is a lot easier for us to just stay positive by expressing our gratitude, sharing good news, smiling, forgiving, and avoiding the negative.  Though we are conditioned toward the negative, let’s focus on the positive.  After all, we can’t be sunk by it if we never allow it to get inside.

The Gratitude Habit

"Gratitude doesn’t change the scenery.  It merely washes clean the glass you look through so that you can see more clearly."
Richelle E. Goodrich

In a recent study, hundreds of people were divided up into three large groups. Every group of people were assigned to begin writing a daily diary, but the subject matter each group was assigned to write about was very different. The first group was simply to write about their daily events. The second group was to write about everything bad that happened to them throughout the day, and the third group was asked to write about all the things they were thankful for that day. After a short time, the study found those who wrote down what they were thankful for experienced much higher levels of alertness, enthusiasm, determination, optimism, and energy with less depression and stress than the other groups of writers. Also, the group writing what they were thankful for were more likely to help others, exercise, and achieve personal goals. The study also found that gratitude triggered a reciprocal cycle of kindness—meaning one act of gratitude almost always encouraged another. (http://www.acfnewsource.org/religion/gratitude_theory.html)

Based on this study and the reciprocal effect of kindness produced by gratitude, this Thanksgiving Thursday must mean more to us than simply giving thanks and eating a large meal with family and friends. Thanksgiving this year must be about developing a lifetime gratitude habit! And it can start this week by writing down at the end of each day all the things we were thankful for throughout the day.  And then if we can keep up this simple habit for the rest of our life, like the study concluded, it will lead us to a better life—physically, emotionally, and mentally—as well as help us touch and impact the lives of others.

As we write our daily diary of thankfulness let’s not stop there.  Hopefully this habit will also remind us to give thanks to all those around us.  Expressing appreciation to those around us helps us build rapport and esteem with others and gives us credibility as a good friend, family member, and leader. Indeed, giving sincere thanks and appreciation can often define a great leader. Think about it.  Developing a gratitude habit this Thanksgiving—that we carry with us throughout the year and our lifetime—will help us build relationships and live a more satisfying life.

So, start the gratitude habit today.  Begin writing your daily diary of thankfulness, and then express and show more your appreciation towards those in your life.  Don’t hold back, express your gratitude freely!  By doing this you will be more than someone who just says “thanks” and eats turkey this Thanksgiving Holiday—you will become a better you!

Focus on the Why

Great leaders focus on the why.  The reason is because “the why” is what motivates.  Too often in our organizations, families, communities etc. we only focus on “the what” or “the how” and we fail to leave out the why.  When someone knows the why behind things, it changes their whole perspective and their desire to take action. 

The why is more important than the what or the how because it speaks to our heart and passion.  The what or how simply do not provide the clarity that each of us desires.  We all want to know the purpose behind of why we are doing things.  We want a clear answer to “why are doing this?” 

So as a leader, have the discipline to explain the why often.  If you are good at this, it may one day feel monotonous as you’ll sometimes feel like a broken record but the influence and motivation you will have over others will be noticeable and powerful.  And even though you are repeating yourself often, explaining the why over and over will also have a powerful effect on you. 

So remember, focus on the why of things.  When we explain why, we become much better leaders and teachers and help others to achieve their best. 

The One Thing to Do to Be a Great Leader

Throughout my career I’ve had an opportunity to work with a lot of different leaders—some good, some bad, and some in between.  In studying leadership, there is one ability that stands out to me that often defines a great leader.  This ability is the gift to create a safe haven for others. 

Though it may seem strange, leaders who make others feel safe truly get “buy-in” from those that follow them which leads to the best possible results.  When people feel safe, they are willing to take risks, act on their own, and take full responsibility and ownership for their results.  In a safe environment people are able to produce at their highest levels—no longer living in fear of repercussions or what may come.  And when people feel safe not only are they able to make an optimal contribution, they also usually want to. 

A perhaps more traditional thought is that leaders want their followers to have a certain amount of uncertainty and fear when they are around.  The thought is that this fear translates to respect and admiration for the leader but in most circumstances, this could not be further from the truth.  When people fear their leader, they often work and produce out of fear rather than respect, admiration, and even love which nearly always leads to less than great results.    

So how does a leader create a safe haven?  First they do it by protecting their people.  They “save them” from negative experiences such as ineffective backlash, negative attitudes or comments, or unneeded speculations, and rumors from outsiders that only produce anxiety and stress.  They do it by taking full responsibility and blame for the results of the team when they are poor, even doing so for an individual team member when necessary.  And when results are good, they give credit to the team taking no recognition for themselves. A leader who openly and willingly does this, can earn the trust of his team for a lifetime.

Second, the leader sacrifices for others often saying the person would have done the same for them.  When a leader sacrifices for others, and puts his own personal well-being, interest, time, etc. aside for the benefit of another, he produces a safe haven.  An example would be taking the biggest pay cut or loss of benefits in times of crisis rather than the opposite happening which is usually the case…  Willingly sacrificing for the good of the whole endears people to their leader. 

Finally, leaders can create a safe haven when they are vulnerable.  A vulnerable leader is one who is open and willing to admit their faults and mistakes and takes ownership for them.  A leader who admits they are less than perfect and that they in fact do not “know it all”, builds trust and encourages others to take ownership and admit their own mistakes as well.  Vulnerability builds comradery and creates the necessary safe haven needed for a strong, cohesive team.                 

So you want to be a great leader?  If so, build a safe haven.  I’m confident that doing so will make you a unique and extraordinary leader.      

How to Treat Others as we Should

Life, or our reality of life, is all about story telling.  We make up stories in our mind to explain things.  Some stories we may tell ourselves might be something like these; “my mom is always nagging me to clean my room, she always wants to be in control of my life,” or “this person intentionally cut me off on the road, they must be a self-absorbed jerk”, or “my boss was just very short with me, he doesn’t appreciate any of my hardwork” or “my spouse just got upset with me, she’s cold hearted and doesn’t care at all about our marriage.”

Unfortunately, these stories we tell ourselves all day long distort reality.  Using some of the examples above, how might we react if the person who cut us off just found out his child was rushed to the hospital?  Or what if our boss is struggling because his wife has cancer?  Or what if our spouse had an argument earlier in the day with her mother?  How would our responses and feelings change if these were all true? 

And what if they weren’t true, would it still justify and prove our original story telling to ourselves?  It is impossible for us to know exactly what is causing certain behavior in others, maybe the person who cut us off really is a self-absorbed jerk, but how would our reality or our life change if we instead told ourselves “gosh something really bad must be going on for that person, I hope they make it to their destination safely.”  Telling positive stories will allow us to see people as people and will give us the opportunity to find out what is truly going on before we react.   

Our brains are wired to fill in the gaps however for some reason, most of us fill in those gaps with negativity.  Learning to control our stories and considering positive ones will improve our attitude, behavior, emotions, and experience in life.  Rather than jump to negative conclusions, let’s find a positive one. 

When we can tell ourselves positive stories it opens the door for positive, rewarding relationships.  Viewing people as people, with worries, fears, struggles, much like our own will help us treat them as such and avoid all the negativity we often overwhelm ourselves with.  If you find yourself filling in the gaps with negative stories, stop and change the story.  Doing so will lead to a happier and more satisfying and successful life.           

4 Easy Ways to Effectively Deal with Change in Your Life

“We must look at change as possibility, a chance to be more successful.”
Rick Pitino

Change is inevitable in our world today. From changes in technology to changes in the workplace, our communities, schools, and even our homes, things are constantly evolving. Change can be difficult to deal with, but it can also present wonderful opportunities and experiences to learn and grow as a person. So, how do you react to change? Do you shun it or embrace it? Or are you somewhere in-between? Making change work for you rather than against you is an important characteristic of a good leader, and it can help you have a more rewarding and successful life.

Often, we can be scared of change, because in most instances, we cannot control it. This lack of control and uncertainty over the effects of change can be distressing. However, it can also be exhilarating and motivating, and it can cause deep reflection, self-evaluation and ultimately excellence. Viewing change as an opportunity to learn and experience new things will help you through it.  I like to image change as a challenge and a springboard to success rather than a hindrance and a roadblock. The following are four basic ideas to help you not only cope but conquer change in your world.

1. Be Flexible and Prepared

To deal with change effectively, you must be prepared and be flexible. You must accept that things in this world are constantly changing, especially in our modern times. You also must understand things won’t always be the way they are right now, so you will need to learn to adapt and do things differently when the time comes. Remember, life is full of unexpected surprises, and how we choose to react to them will define us as a person. Additionally, it is impossible to shelter ourselves from change, because change is inevitable. So, be prepared, flexible, and willing to deal with change as it comes.

2. Be Positive

When dealing with a difficult change, try to remain positive. Though this can be tricky, look for ways the change may help you. Search for lessons you can learn from the change, and try to discover the meaning behind the change. Also, change often is good in the long run even though in the present it may seem anything but good. Remember, though the uncertainty change produces is unsettling, it can help shape you and drive you to become a better person. Having a positive attitude will greatly enhance your ability to deal with change effectively.

3. Be Confident

It is important to be confident with change. Often we fear change, because we are afraid that somehow we will be less successful or less capable because of the change. It is important to be confident that regardless of any type of change, you can be successful.  And if you examine things closely, the truth is, you’ve successfully dealt with change your whole life.  At times it may take significant effort, but have the confidence and determination that if you’ve been successful before the change, you can surely be successful after it.

4. Live a Purpose Driven Life

Try to have a purpose in life that defines you as a person. Be true to yourself. This will help you deal with change, because it can provide a constant anchor amidst these tumultuous times of change. Being firm in who you are and what you believe in will help build your confidence, and it will give you something that is firm and solid--something that can only be changed by you. Living a purpose driven life will effectively help you in dealing with change.

Learning the power that lies in being able to change is essential in our world today. Many leaders fail because of their inability to accept and adapt to change. Don’t let change ruin who you are, what you feel, or how you view the world. As you learn to accept and embrace change, you will become a more effective leader, and you will be ready to have success in this very dynamic world we live in. It’s exciting!! So start developing your ability to deal with change effectively today!

Happiness Can be Yours!

Can happiness be a state of being rather than simply a momentary and fleeting feeling or emotion?  Psychologists over the years have studied this very question and many have identified several traits and factors shared among truly happy people.  Below are 6 ways we can live a life full of happiness.      

#1 Satisfied with Basic Needs

Happy people are content with simply having their basic needs met.  And though surprising to some, having extra money to spend does not contribute to long-term satisfaction or happiness but in fact can diminish it.  The reason for this is often wealthy individuals experience short-lived highs from excessive or extravagant purchases.  These ups and subsequent downs disrupt sustained happiness.  Thus happy people, whether wealthy or not, are able to say no to what they may want, and live content with having enough.    

#2 Appreciation for Simplicity

Happy people know that more is not better.  When we are distracted by too many things, our ability to be present and live in the moment diminishes along with our ability to appreciate and enjoy experiences.  Simplifying our lives rather than “wanting it all” or trying to “do it all” leads to greater happiness. 

#3 Dedication to a Cause

Happy people are dedicated to something they believe in and to something they are able to lose themselves in.  Being dedicate to something we feel is a worthwhile cause helps us feel we are contributing to a greater good and something bigger than ourselves.  This “cause” gives us purpose and meaning and may include work, volunteerism, or even an affiliation with a religious organization.  Often times happy people refer to this as a “calling” for them in life.  Those who aren’t as happy lack a cause that they feel they are living for. 

#4 Use of Personal Strengths

Happy people feel they are able to use their personal strengths to help others.  And personal strengths are more than simply sharing talents developed such as playing a musical instrument, but include our unique traits such as kindness, empathy, courage, creativity, etc.  Happy people identify their strengths and find meaningful ways to use them to improve life around them.

#5 Commitment to Relationships

Happy people have close relationships with friends and family.  Humans are wired to live interdependently and actually need one another in order to fully enjoy life.  Happy people stay true and committed to others they love which makes life worthwhile.

#6 Selflessness

Happy people are more selfless than others.  Being less selfish and serving others brings meaning and purpose to our life and can make us feel alive.  So many people strive to find happiness with a focus on themselves when happiness actually comes by having a focus outside of ourselves.  Looking for ways to help and sacrifice for others will produce lasting happiness.       

At the end of the day, happiness can be ours.  If you are not feeling so happy all of the time right now, try to live the way happy people do!  If we want happiness to be our way of life, rather than simply an occasional feeling, we can start by doing and applying the ideas above.   

Adapted from an article in the Ensign Magazine, April 2014, Lasting Happiness

Collaboration is Key!

Originally posted 12/12/07

“Where there is convergence and focus, individual mediocrity may well sum up to collective brilliance. In their absence, individual brilliance may well sum up to collective mediocrity.”
Hamel & Prahalad, Competing for the Future

Collaboration is quickly becoming a “key” word not only in business but also throughout the world. As competition intensifies due to technology and globalization, businesses, countries, and even communities are fighting for precious resources and economic growth. Thus, leaders are starting to realize they must learn to collaborate with others to succeed. Leaders see that simply working harder isn’t enough anymore, but that they must also work smarter and together. What does this mean for us? This means we have to be not only willing but also an active participant in collaboration.

Becoming an active participant means we work with others in our businesses, schools, and communities to solve problems in the most efficient and effective way possible. This means communicating, effectively strategizing, compromising, and working with others to create win-win situations. This means putting aside any bad feelings, regret, hatred, discrimination, or negative perceptions we may have toward others. This does not mean we give up what we want in business, life, or in our community; but on the contrary it means we look for ways to support others wants and ideas while at the same time helping them to support us with ours. If we take what we are trying to accomplish seriously, to have the greatest outcome and to be the most effective, we must find ways to collaborate.

Often we are put in tough situations where what we are trying to accomplish is in contrast to what others are trying to accomplish. This often can lead to tension and uncomfortable situations that pit us against others. To handle these situations, be frank in discussing why what you are trying to accomplish is important, because often there is misunderstanding of what each party wants. From there, find similarities and common ground on what each group is working toward, and try to find ways to collaborate and work together. These will be perfect opportunities to find new and smarter ways for both groups to work towards their goals.

Also, as you work with others who are difficult, frequently use the words partner, teamwork, and collaboration in your conversations and written communication with them; it will surprise you how many doors this will open. As we collaborate together in our businesses, schools, and communities we will be able to have excellent outcomes, and we will be able to achieve our goals. By doing this we will remain afloat in our increasingly competitive world. Seek ways to collaborate today!!

Lastly, the following are some ideas of how to take a better and more collaborative approach to problems or issues:

*Set-up a brain storming session where all are able to express their opinions.
*List the pros and cons of each solution or idea.
*Offer to implement a solution for a certain time period, and then meet back to assess its usefulness.
*If you are able to and if necessary, leave the issue for a short time period before readdressing the issue.

When the Game Stands Tall

When the Game Stands Tall by Neil Hayes is one of my all-time favorite sports books and movies. It is the incredible story of football’s longest winning streak by De La Salle High School that expanded over 12 seasons and resulted in 151 wins in a row.  It is not just a sports story however.  It is a story of grit, hard work, dedication, sacrifice, discipline, and love.  It is a story that goes well beyond the playing field as it teaches the reader applicable and important life lessons.  Today I’d like to share 5 lessons we can all take from this remarkable story to become better individuals. 

#1 “The key component to any success is the most basic of human emotions—love.”

When you boil it down to the most basic element, life is all about love.  This book and story teach us this.  The interesting thing is that you can take just about any action and if it is done out of love, it will have a long-term positive affect.  Often times we think of love as being something that is always soft, gentle or kind.  The De La Salle story teaches us that love can be tough, direct, and hard at times.  No matter what we do, if our hearts are right, if we do it out of love for others, no matter what it is, it can be received well by others and can influence their life for good.  When we have love, our ability to encourage and influence others is tremendously multiplied. 

#2 Stand for something more than winning 

Winning provides a certain level of motivation and satisfaction.  It can inspire and push people to great heights however when we represent something, or dedicate ourselves to a cause, our efforts and motivation grow beyond what we believe is possible.  De La Salle didn’t focus on or even care that much about winning.  For their program, it wasn’t about the winning per say, but was about who they wanted to become and what they wanted to represent.  As leaders we need to set a vision higher than just competing and winning.  We need to establish a vision that stands for something.  At De La Salle, they represented and cared about something greater than winning and that is what inspired and lifted them to unimaginable success.     

#3 Success=Effort

De La Salle’s remarkable success is defined by their extreme discipline.  Their philosophy centered on the notion that success was based on their individual and collective efforts rather than on the outcomes of the game.  They strived to give a “perfect effort” in every moment and that is how they defined success. 

Establishing a similar measuring stick, one that is based on the amount of effort rather than the final result will push all of us to become our best individual selves.  Not everyone can be the best in the world at everything or win every time, so if that is our goal we will be disappointed, but each of us can be our best selves by always putting forth our maximum effort.  The coaches at De La Salle taught that we will all one day eventually regret not putting forth our best effort; thus every situation in life requires our personal best. 

#4 Decide Now

Rather than wondering what type of effort we will give today, tomorrow, or a year from now, the De La Salle coaches encouraged their players to decide now, before the games, practices, or the season even started.  They had to decide from day one what kind of effort they were going to give, and what kind of season they would have. 

Waiting to make decisions in the moment, when the pressure is on will cause us at times to make unwise choices.  If we make our decisions before we ever face the pressure moments, it will be so much easier to do the right thing.  Like the De La Salle football players, making the decision now on what type of effort we will give and who we will become will lead us to better outcomes. 

#5 Peer Accountability 

Once someone starts holding themselves accountable, or peers hold each other accountable, than a leader knows his efforts have paid off.  Peer accountability is so much more meaningful and powerful than accountability coming from a designated leader and this is proven in the book.  Part of De La Salle’s magic is their ability to influence their team members and hold each other accountable.  We must strive to create and foster similar environments wherever we may find ourselves.

I love the book When the Game Stands Tall because I believe there are so many important lesson we can learn from the De La Salle football story.  As we apply even the basic principles listed above we will become much better leaders and people. 

To see how I rate this book click here

How the Mighty Fall

How the Mighty Fall by Jim Collins is another really good read for all business leaders and its principles can also be applied to everyday life.  Some key points from the book are the following. 

#1 Success breeds Entitlement

Most successful people work hard to gain their success but once they have it, some turn away from what got them there in the first place, and they eventually lose it.  I love sports and you can see this with star athletes from time to time.  A talented athlete will reach a point in their abilities were they are told they are “elite” or “the best” and after hearing this over and over again they begin to believe they can maintain their status while stopping the work that got them to that point in the beginning.  And before you know it, a promising sports career turns in to a bust. 

This “fall” or change in direction is often not dramatic or quick but more normally it is a gradual eroding of those things that got us to the top.  The point is, once we stop doing the core things that helped us gain success, we put ourselves at high risk for a fall.  The book refers to this attitude as hubris or having excessive pride. 

Truly successful companies and people hold fast to the principles that brought them success in the beginning, knowing that success could all be gone tomorrow.  They find ways to keep their fire lit and avoid feelings of entitlement that deceive so many in to believing that they’ve “earned” or “deserve” a life of being on top or a life of ease.  Instead the truly successful consistently keep doing those things that breed success.    

#2 Entitlement blinds Risk

Once we’ve succumbed to entitlement or hubris we fail to appropriately see and weigh the risks we are taking or are considering taking.  We begin to blindly do what we never would have done prior to our success.  As proven in the book, many successful companies begin to over-reach and expand or grow with the idea that they are too big or successful to ever fail.  They essentially become blind to their own vulnerability to falling and find ways to justify any decline in performance or reason to worry.

Again, successful organizations and successful individuals fight against the feelings of entitlement knowing that doing so keeps them grounded and helps them to see risk for what it really is.  This allows them to avoid unnecessary and unwise risk-taking while taking action when decline is present.      

#3 Changing Courses can happen

As you can image, the way to beat these problems are recognizing that we have a problem and then changing courses which often means reverting back to those things that brought us success in the first place.  This can be a humbling process but the comforting knowledge gleaned from the author is that “falls” are almost always self-inflicted and therefore can be avoided or turned around.  Those that are able to believe this, see that they are headed for disaster, and still have the discipline to change courses can save themselves from a catastrophe and can get back on the road to success.  

At the end of the day, I feel this book reinforces and emphasizes Collins previous book “Good to Great” with the crux of the matter centering on discipline.  Having disciplined people, disciplined thought, and disciplined action is what led good companies to become great.  Likewise, organizations or people that can have and maintain the discipline required to achieve success will avoid a mighty fall and enjoy tremendous results.         

To see how I rated this book, click here

True Love & Effective Time Management

Today I’d like to share two very different and simple thoughts that have been on my mind from the well-known leadership book called “7 Habits of Highly Effective People” by Stephen R. Covey. 

#1  “Love is a verb, not a feeling.”

My only daughter started middle school two weeks ago and with this age comes the beginning of a wonderful world of boyfriends and girlfriends and thoughts of “love.”  Much of the media we consume inaccurately portrays love as a feeling that comes and goes.  It shows that we “fall” in and out of love almost haphazardly and that love is something we have no or very little control over.  It is normal to feel love for someone today and then not tomorrow.  This type of love is not really love at all. 

True love is a verb, it requires action.  When we love someone we sacrifice for them, we look out for their best interest, we help them, support them, serve them, stand by them, etc.  For this reason we don’t really “fall” out of love.  If we feel we’ve lost love for someone it is because we have stopped doing those loving actions that demonstrate our love and produce loving feelings.  We have made the choice to stop loving.  Therefore, if we want to feel love, than we must take actions that produce it. 

#2  “Focus on what is important and not urgent”

Everything we do falls in to one of four categories or quadrants.  We have things that are (1) urgent and important, (2) not urgent and important, (3) urgent and not important, and (4) not urgent and not important.  Most of us spend our time in quadrant (1) and (3) with things we feel are urgent.  This causes us to constantly run from fire to fire doing urgent things that we eventually get burned out and spend the little bit of time we have free in quadrant (4) which adds no value to our lives at all.  This is pretty typical for most of us. 

Highly effective people however have the discipline to spend a lot of their time in quadrant (2), on things that are important but not urgent.  This are typically the most important items that bring value to our lives such as spending time with our children or family.  Though this is extremely important, it rarely ever becomes urgent. 

The problem with spending most of our time in quadrant (1) and (3) is that we end up sacrificing what is perhaps most important to us.  We never get around to those very important items that are never urgent.  We must remember that when we make a choice to say “yes” to something, it also means we are saying “no” to other things that we could be or maybe should be doing. 

Think about how you spend your time and if the things you are doing are in quadrant (1), (2), (3), or (4).  Learning to use our time wisely and focusing on those items in quadrant (2) will help us be more effective and more successful people and leaders.

One Sure Fire Way to Beat Anxiety

Burntham Rewind, originally posted 1/15/2008

Today’s message is simple and sweet and it is that the one sure fire way to overcome fear and beat anxiety is by facing it head on.

During the past two days, I’ve participated in extremely intense executive meetings with a very formal group of well-educated, experienced, and talented executives. Two weeks ago I was given an option to give two presentations to this group who I knew would view my topics as very threatening and controversial as they were very sensitive issues within the company. To this point, no one had ever dared to formally address these issues. Though extremely nervous about the daunting task at hand, I accepted the challenge and I could not be happier with that decision. Now that the meetings have concluded, I have an incredible sense of accomplishment and personal satisfaction because I embraced my nervousness and overcame my fear.

Facing fears in our lives seems to instantly give us a huge boost to our self-esteem and confidence. And though things went well for me during these meetings, even if the outcome had not been favorable, I know I would still feel good for overcoming my anxiety toward the task.  Additionally, doing a task we are anxious about makes it so much easier to face and overcome it again in the future. I’ve come to the conclusion that managing anxiety in many cases is a choice, and we can allow it to paralyze us or we can use it as a positive force to pump us up and perform at our best.

Changing our outlook on anxiety, nervousness, and fear is key! Nearly always, anxiety is referred to as a negative emotion.  I’ve learned it doesn’t have to be as anxiety in many instances can be controlled and can even help us to reach our highest levels of potential.  If we are determined, I know we can channel our anxiety for good.

Viewing anxiety for what it is, and discovering we can use it to help us meet and overcome our fears can pay big dividends in our life and lead us toward success.  So what are we waiting for, let’s face our fears today and live our life to its fullest! We can turn our fears into positive energy that will propel us to new heights.

Spiral-down Talk

Too often we participate in “spiral-down” talk.  This is talk that adds no value and does little to make any sort of positive contribute.  Spiral-down talk is negative in nature and can quickly grow or spiral down to a place we never wanted to go.  It spreads like wild-fire jumping from person to person and can be attractive and addicting if we are not careful.   

Often this talk starts with one simple negative comment which then leads to another, and another, and another and before we know it we’ve wasted a lot of time and energy on nothing worthwhile.  For this reason we must be mindful of our talk and make sure we are never participating in the spiral down kind.  We can squelch spiral down talk by recognizing it and changing the way we are talking.    

Spiral-down talk limits possibility, options, opinions, and hope.  Spiral-down talk can ruin attitudes, moods, friendships, relationships, appetites, motivation, good feelings, happiness, contentment, peace and many, many more things.  Overall spiral-down talk is generally selfish and lazy as it can negatively impact those around us while providing zero solutions or positive contributions. 

Sometimes it is easy and obvious to recognize spiral-down talk and sometimes it is harder.  Being vigilant and asking ourselves, does what I just said or what I just heard add to my possibilities or limit them, can help us identify it.  If we find we are trapped in a spiral down talk web we can get out by simply changing what we are saying and by viewing things in a new or different way.

Spiral-down talk takes its toll on each of us every day.  Though it is not easy, we can work to avoid and eliminate it from our lives by thinking differently, in a positive way, and finding possibilities in all situations of life.  Doing this will add value, make a contribution, and have a meaningful impact on our life.              

Become a 100%er

My message for today’s blog is simply this, we are 100% responsible for our lives.  We can’t blame the weather or the economy or our family or the government for how things are turning out for us.  Life is full of decisions that we make every day.  And we make these decisions of our own free-will and choice without force or inducement.  Therefore we can take 100% accountability for what happens in our lives.

Though it can be frightening to accept 100% responsibility for our lives it also becomes completely liberating as we are no longer controlled or left to the mercy of outside influences and factors.  Our fate becomes completely ours to own and create.  Our reality becomes an endless path of hope and possibility.    

Sadly, playing the blame game seems more popular and prevalent today in our society than ever before and it is taking its toll on us through unnecessary stress, worry, and depression.  Blaming other people or things rather than owning up to what has happened in our life, or who we have become, keeps us trapped in a hopeless cycle.  Blame holds us back from becoming who we want and ought to become.    

Instead, when we take full responsibility for our part in whatever may happen to us, our life is filled with possibility and peace.  We learn to accept that when bad things happen, we don’t have to place blame but can simply see our part in it and let it go.  Truly taking 100% accountability for our results will change our life and help us become our best selves.

Giving Someone an "A"

Recently I’ve been involved in a leadership conference where I had the opportunity to present on a number of topics including team building, motivation, and organizational culture.  As I conversed with participants at the conference I couldn’t help but notice how quickly it seems we all tend to judge others and label them.  As I thought about the “labels” I frequently give to others and how I derive at such conclusions, I realized that in many instances, the smallest most inconsequential things many times leads to my assumptions. 

The problem with this is once we label someone, if we are their leader or parent or teacher, often the person begins to live up to our expectation.  If we say they are sloppy, then often they tend to be sloppy.    Not only this but once we’ve given a “label”, we tend to look for evidence to reinforce what we believe.  Thus in this scenario we would look for ways this individual is sloppy.  All of this ties in to the principle of what we dwell on expands.       

In our society, competition is fierce and I believe this is part of the reason we are quick to judge and quick to correct.  Rather than focus on all the good traits or characteristics of an individual we focus on the one or two things that need improvement and we speak up on these things. 

I’ve learned throughout my career in leadership that what we tell people they can or can’t do often comes true.  Therefore if we can see people with a new set of eyes and change our programmed mind to focus on the good and emphasis that, rather than the bad, our results will grow and improve.  Having someone, especially a leader, teacher, or loved one believe in you goes a long way in helping build self-esteem and success.  Thus as leaders we need to be careful and never underestimate or devalue the affect our words and “labels” have on those we lead. 

In the “Art of Possibility” by Rosamund & Benjamin Zander challenge leaders to “give everyone an A”.  Rather than assuming someone is a “C” or an “F” they offer that we should give everyone an “A” and treat them as such—as “A” students.  They explain that by doing this, our ability to see the good and potential in someone expands immensely along with that person’s own personal belief in self and in their abilities to perform. 

As leaders, parents, teachers, do we need to take a new view at others?  Let’s see the good in people, assume the best, and don’t make assumptions unless we are giving someone an “A”.  When we give people praise and set a positive vision for what they can become, we will be surprised by what happens.  Rather than focusing on things that need correction, let’s focus on the good that exists and the potential in all of us to be awesome.  By doing this we will be much better, more effective leaders in all walks and responsibilities in life.

The Most Important Day of our Lives

“Your performance today must come from a deeper place. No matter how hard, no matter how tough—you are expected to make a difference. Today are you ready, today are you at your best? So much depends on what you do today.”
Bronco Mendenhall

Today is the most important day of our lives. What we do today is all we can control.  We cannot change yesterday, and tomorrow is uncertain, thus today is the day that matters.

Too often we procrastinate and say we will do something tomorrow or that we will change in a few days but often, tomorrow never comes. So what are we doing today to make a difference? After all, today is really all that matters because it is the only sure thing we’ve got.

Since yesterday is in the past and there is nothing we can do to change it, we must let it go and move on learning from the past but focusing on today. Tomorrow is in the future and is unpredictable. In fact the best prediction we can possibly make of what will happen tomorrow is by viewing what is taking place today. Past and/or current behavior is the best indicator of future behavior. Thus, if we are procrastinating until tomorrow, it is a safe predication that we will procrastinate again. Thus, there is no reason to wait.  Today is our day, the day to take action.

Just do it, is a famous slogan coined by Nike but I have another word to add that can motivate us to take action even quicker and that is “just do it NOW!” We cannot wait for that perfect moment or a sign, or until we have more money, or a better job, or the weather changes, or the economy improves and our kids grow up to do those things that are most important to us and to change. We must do it now. We must not wait.

Today needs to be our focus. We must perform our very best today so that we can have a better tomorrow. Today cannot be another day of putting things off or wasting time. Today must be the day we take action because after all, everything does depend on today. Are our priorities right today? Are we doing the most important things today? Are we putting first things first today?

What we do today turns in to who we are and what we care most about tomorrow. Each day we have the opportunity to move forward towards our dreams or goals or move backwards away from them based on our actions today. It has nothing to do with what is past and even less to do with future plans. Good intentions are never good enough. What matter is what we are doing now!

So, learn to live in the present and realize that tomorrow will never come. Do those things that are most important to you today. Do not put them off because we may only have today...

Reawaken Belief in Self

Today’s blog will be short…I think.  As I get older I feel like my faith or belief in my own ability to change or impact the world is slowly fading and I’m not exactly sure why that is.  Now as far as I know I’m not depressed or lacking self-confidence or anything like that but just things that I once believed I could do, I now doubt and no longer believe.  For example, when I was a child I believed I could do anything, even fly, or learn to stop time.  I was innocent and naïve back then I guess but my belief in self was powerful.  I literally believed I could do anything if I wanted to! 

Though my childhood beliefs were far-fetched, they highlight how slowly, as we age, we begin to doubt and lose faith.  Things we once believed were possible become impossible.  I’ve learned that as we become wiser and more experienced in how the world runs and works, our faith and belief in self for whatever reason diminishes along with at least some of our dreams and aspirations.  Sadly, we even begin to create roadblocks or develop belief patterns that are entirely made up, self-created, and untrue that prevent us from dreaming big.  And right now I’m having a big problem with this….   

Recently I learned about a small business that was struggling with some changes in the competitive landscape of their market.  Most everyone, including even the owner believed the business was doomed and that it was only a matter of time before the business would be forced to close its doors forever.  Though most everyone was aware of this business’ hardships, one employee, who seemingly had an insignificant job within the company, and who actually had some slight mental challenges, thought differently.  Without thoughts of compensation or recognition of any kind, and without any doubts, he began to do simple things that eventually had a tremendous impact on the organization.  In fact his simple actions prompted others to follow which eventually saved the business.  How did he do this?  It was his mindset, he believed.  Though he was one of the most unlikely people that could save the business, he had faith, innocent child like faith that he could truly make a difference.  Some would probably say he was even naïve in his belief initially yet he went to work without doubts and made what he thought was possible a reality. 

This story was inspiring to me!  My challenge for myself and to you is to find ways to rediscover that innocent faith again, to believe anything is possible and then to go after it just like this “unlikely hero” employee.  I don’t believe we have to lose our faith or even change or modify our dreams as we age.  I think we can fight it, even as we grow older and wiser and in fact dream even bigger.  If we can retain or reawaken the innocent faith of our unlimited potential to impact this world, we will be able to do anything.   Our potential and our future lies within our belief of what is possible.             

The Right Approach for Every Situation

“Treat people with integrity and decency, and generally they will respond in kind.”
Unknown

In today’s world, taking the right approach in important situations can mean everything. Whether negotiating a deal, assigning a task to a co-worker, calming down an intense situation, or even disciplining a child, the right approach is vitally important in all we do. The approach we take or how we handle potentially volatile, difficult, or stressful situation will define us as a person and as leaders.

How many times in your life have you been asked to do something only to be left feeling resentful, unmotivated, and bitter? Taking the wrong approach is common practice and often leads to unnecessary stress and contention at work or in the home. For this reason, striving to take the right approach in every situation is worth our time and effort.  And at the end of the day, our approach is key to our success in nearly every circumstance we face.

So what exactly is the right approach? I think it may be different in every circumstance but here are some general rules that work. 

#1 Be Collaborative

The right approach involves seeking feedback and ideas from others.  Being a “know-it-all” or pretending to have all of the right answers turns people off.  When we seek the input, ideas, and opinions of others, we build them up and add value to the problem we are solving.  People will become willing to be a part of the solution when they know they have been heard and when they’ve been able to take part in the process.    

#2 Be Respectful

The right approach never involves belittling or ridiculing another person. Though we may strongly disagree with the opinions or actions of others, keeping the focus on the issue and not on the person themselves is important.  We should also resist the urge to accuse or blame others.  Keep in mind that we can find ways to stay true to our convictions and talk openly and candidly about our opinions and views without attacking others.  Learn to be firm on the issue at hand but soft on the person. The moment we move away from attacking an issue by putting someone down is the moment we lose our ability to influence others.  

#3 Be Open

The right approach involves being open.  Most people today expect to know why they are doing what they are being asked to do, so tell them. Explain to them why what you are asking them to do, or the stance you are taking is so important and how it benefits others.  Expecting people to do what you ask just because you asked or jumping on board with your idea just because you asked them to without letting them see clearly why it is a good idea rarely works. Thus take the time to explain the purpose and reason.    

#4 Be Transparent 

The right approach involves telling people both the positive and potentially negative consequences of following through and doing a good job.  Do not hide things or tell half-truths just to get your way because we’ve seen time and time again how eventually it will come back to bite you.  Being honest with people will earn the trust you need as a leader.   

#5 Be in Control

The right approach means we stay in control.  Keeping our emotions in check is difficult and takes practice however when we remain calm and composed toward others, our ability to take the right approach in any situation is greatly improved.  When necessary, don’t hesitate to take a few minutes when confronted with a difficult situation in order to allow yourself to stop and think things through before reacting. Once we lose control, our ability to influence others and repair the damage we caused nosedives rapidly.    

Taking the right approach is not easy and takes discipline and practice. When we consistently take the right approach in difficult situations people will begin to want to do what we say. Taking the right approach will greatly enhance your ability to influence others and lead, and it will make you a better person.  With the right approach we can arrive at the best possible outcome in any given situation.  Strive today to take the right approach in all of your interactions!

6 Easy Ways to Begin to Build Your Self-Confidence Today

Confidence is important for everyone regardless of what titles we hold or professions we have. Having confidence in self allows us to enjoy life more fully and helps us reach our full potential.  Below are 6 easy ways to help us begin to build our confidence today.

#1 Think Positive

Your thoughts have a powerful effect on who you are and what you can become. If you think you are lacking self-confidence, you are probably right. On the other hand, if you think you are full of confidence, you are probably right also. Learning to have positive thoughts can do wonders in boosting your self-confidence.  Thus, when negative thoughts enter your mind, quickly push them away, and redirect them toward positive thoughts. This is easier said than done but by making a conscious effort to control your thoughts, and recognizing when negative ones enter your mind, you can begin to have more control over them.  And as you learn and train yourself to do this, your confidence will significantly increase. This will take time and practice, but can and will have a tremendous impact on your self-confidence.

#2 Imagine Confidence     

Begin to envision what being more self-confident will look like and feel like.  Think about how your life will be different with increased confidence. Take a few minutes each day to imagine how you would act if you were full of confidence, and then try to live that way. As you dwell on these positive thoughts, and begin to feel what being more self-confident is like, you will begin making progress toward becoming more confident.

#3 Identify your Success

We all have talents, skills, success stories and obstacles we have overcome in life—so think about what they are, and reflect on them. Sometimes all we focus on is the mountains ahead of us rather than taking some time to “turn around” and see all of the mountains we have already climbed.  It may be helpful to write down or create a list of our accomplishments so that we can see and review them whenever we feel we are lacking self-confidence. Remembering what we’ve already achieved and conquered will help us build our confidence as we move forward.

#4 Exercise

How does exercise relate to confidence? Exercising raises your adrenaline and heart rate helping you to feel stronger, healthier, and even happier. Exercising on a frequent basis will increase your confidence, because it requires effort, sacrifice, and hard work which produces within us a sense of accomplishment and success.  Exercise also helps us feel and look better and often how we feel and look physically is how we will feel emotionally. Exercising also increases energy levels and fuels our determination to reach other goals. Simple, consistent exercise has many benefits and can instantly increase our self-confidence.

#5 Eliminate Fear

People who lack confidence are often afraid of something.  Eliminating fear or at least identifying it and channeling it towards good can help you achieve a greater level of confidence. So, to overcome fear you must control your thoughts and view fear as a challenge or a game by doing whatever it is that you are afraid of—facing the fear head on. For example, if you have a fear of speaking in front of others, challenge and force yourself to find every opportunity you can to speak in front of a crowd. This may sound frightening but start with small steps and work your way up. In time, as you continue to challenge your fears, your confidence will grow and your fear will diminish. Instead of letting fear hold you back, you can use it as a motivator to push you forward. Learning to deal with and overcome fear will allow you to build your self-confidence and face any challenge that may come your way.

#6  Don’t Take Yourself too Seriously

One last way to begin building your confidence today is by learning to not take yourself too seriously. Understand everyone makes mistakes—we all do—and making mistakes is an important step in learning and developing skills. Being afraid to make a mistake will lead to unnecessary stress and fear. Accept the fact that you will make mistakes and then when you do make them, learn from them and move on.  Literally laughing out loud when mistakes happen is a great way to deal with them.  And finally, always take ownership for your mistakes. Fess up, commit to be better, and move on. As you do this, your self-confidence will grow.

Following these simple ideas will help your confidence begin to increase almost instantly. Gaining confidence will help you be a more successful person, leader, and allow you to live life to its fullest. We all need confidence to be happy in life so commit to building your confidence today!