Do You Have Rhino Skin?

This blog has been enhanced and was originally posted 7/17/2008

In his book, The Other 90%, author Robert Cooper suggests that we all need to develop the skin of a rhino in order to truly reach our untapped potential. The reasoning behind this he explains is because rhinos have very thick, strong skin.  The author suggests that having a thin skin often increases troubles in life and distracts us from what is truly important such as achieving our goals.  Rhino skin however allows us to avoid such distractions and remain focused. The following are some suggestions the author offers in his book that will help us develop rhino skin.

1. Don’t Take Things Personally

It is an inevitable fact; we cannot please everyone in life. Almost always someone in our life will be upset or angry with us and we have to learn that’s okay. We must understand that when people are upset it is often not about us but usually more about them. Human beings by nature are fickle, dynamic, unreasonable, emotional, and passionate and thus often distort reality, get caught up in the heat of the moment, or do not say what they truly mean. Taking things personally is senseless when we realize we are all human and prone to mistakes and that we all have different opinions, emotions, and outlooks on life. Therefore, trying to please everyone will result in unnecessary stress, disappointment, and frustration. Avoiding taking things personally will simplify our lives, allow us to use our energy on more important matters, and ultimately make us happier.

2. Carefully Analyze Feedback

It is easy to jump to conclusion or view any form of feedback as criticism since so often feedback is given in ineffective and/or inappropriate ways. However, when receiving feedback from others, we must remain as objective as possible. We must strive to determine if the feedback truly is based on genuine concern and support, as often is the case. With this feedback, we must discover, accept, and embrace the truth that may be there and then use that feedback constructively to motivate us to improve our performance and be better people.

If we feel feedback is simply blatant negative criticism, we should let it go and not internalize it. We do not need to let others weaken our inner confidence through criticism or disrupt our focus on our goals. And we cannot afford to be offended, hold a grudge, or try to get even when we receive unjust criticism since doing so only slows us down in maximizing our potential.

3. Talk Straight

What this simply means is that we need to be truthful as this is the best way to build trusting relationships. We also should avoid withholding information for fear of the impact it may have on others. By talking straight we will save time and breakdown barriers that often impede otherwise meaningful relationships.  Talking straight means we trust others with our true thoughts, opinions, and feelings.  This can be scary at first because we know people will likely regularly disagree with us but as we develop this skill it will pay huge dividends. Sharing our truth will allow us to be stronger leaders and live more in harmony with our true selves and actually help us build successful relationships when all things are said and done.

So, do you have rhino skin?  Developing thick, strong rhino skin by following these three suggestions found in The Other 90% will truly make us more effective and successful individuals and leaders. Learning to not take things personally, carefully analyzing feedback, and talking straight may make us standout in today’s thin skinned society however it will also help us achieve our full potential.