Self-confidence Tips

“He who has confidence in himself will gain the confidence of others.”
Leib Lazarow

Possessing a great degree of self-confidence is a hallmark trait of effective leaders. Indeed, people expect good leaders to be courageous and confident. So as leaders, how do we build self-confidence? Here are a few ideas.

# 1 Be Productive

There is so much good entertainment and so many interesting things surrounding us these days that often we fail to be productive and invest our time in ourselves and others. Wasting away our free time by watching TV, playing video games, or surfing the net does NOT build up our self-confidence. Instead, reading, learning, working with our hands, exercising, serving in the community, and other similar activities help us to be productive and builds confidence.

# 2 Monitor Surroundings

Putting ourselves in a supportive environment does more for self-confidence than often we may imagine. Avoid negative or derogatory entertainment, relationships, or associations that will tear you down rather than build you up. Find meaningful friendships and relationships that will boost your self-confidence and allow you succeed.

# 3 Have Goals

Setting goals and then actively working toward achieving them will build self-confidence. As you set high expectations and objectives for yourself, you will be motivated to do your best and reach your potential. Putting forth the focus and energy necessary to reach goals will produce a higher level of self-assurance.

# 4 Be Persistent

One of the best ways to build self-confidence is through resolve and persistence. More often than not, people will be opposed to your ideas, thoughts, plans, goals etc., but sticking to them will build your confidence. Don’t listen to the naysayers or critics, but instead listen to your inner voice and follow it 100% no matter the opposition.

# 5 Be Receptive

Being receptive to constructive criticism, new ideas, and different ways of thinking will actually increase your self-confidence. As you remain teachable and humble, your ability to learn and grow will remain at a high level. And as you learn and grow, your confidence will increase.

Having a high level of self-confidence is important to any successful leader. Thus learning to be self-confident will enable us to be stronger and more effective leaders.

Maintaining a Healthy Level of Insanity

A little over two weeks ago I wrote two blogs about the benefits of laughter and not taking ourselves too seriously. Recently my brother sent me a funny list of items he found on the internet entitled "How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity." I found the list to be quite amusing and thus would like to share it, in hopes of bringing a smile to your face and lighting up your mood on this day. I will neither admit nor deny doing any of the items below…

*How To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit in Your Parked Car with Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer at Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You to Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

5. Put Mosquito Netting around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

6. Have Your Co-workers Address You by Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

7. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

8. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, yelling 'Run for Your Lives! They're Loose!'

9. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

*Source Unknown

Branding--Not Just For Businesses

In the business world we often discuss the power and importance of a product's brand. Branding a product is a powerful way to influence numerous customers over long periods of time. The brand of a product is the emotional connection a consumer has with that product which persuades the customer to keep coming back or to avoid it all together. Thus, brand recognition is created by multiple experiences a consumer has with a product--both positive and negative. In addition, a product's brand helps create a level of expectation a consumer has about the product. Consequently, a brand is a powerful influencer that takes time to create, develop, and then change if necessary. A good long-term branding strategy alone can help make a business extremely profitable for many years.

So what is your personal brand? Is your branding strategy helping you to be profitable? Each of us creates a brand with others by our actions, behaviors, and habits. Our brand either encourages others to work with us and be around us, or it has the opposite effect. The way we treat people, even during insignificant moments, categorizes us as a certain type of commodity, which determines if people want to remain or become loyal customers. If we create a positive brand, we will be able to have a strong influence on others and impact them for good. If our brand is negative, we will push others away or attract the wrong loyal customers.

To create our personal brand, we must ensure our actions and behaviors are in line with the values and culture we want to promote. The longer these behaviors are consistent over time, the stronger and more evident our personal brand becomes.

Certainly there are varieties of unique personal brands that are effective or “good” based on each individual’s unique beliefs and values. Likewise, there are mixtures of “right” behaviors that help create the specific brand we may be seeking to establish. The most important thing is that we are mindful of our behaviors and our interactions with others and realize that each day we establish building a personal brand.

Different types of brands will attract different types of loyal customers. Does our brand attract the type of people we want to be around? If not, we need to reflect on what we are doing, and we must try to change our brand through altering our behaviors, actions, and habits. Remember, it takes time to change and reestablish a brand, but putting forth the effort today will pay off in huge dividends tomorrow.

Are you proud of your personal brand, or is it time for a rebranding strategy? Think about it. Each day our actions and behaviors establish our personal brand with others—and this personal brand gives us the ability to influence and impact others. As we become more conscious of daily actions, we begin to take control of our own personal brand. And establishing the right brand will help us become more effective leaders and better people! Happy branding!!

Tips For Relationship Success

“The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.”
Theodore Roosevelt

Building relationships is key to the success of any leader. Developing relationships in life is also essential for personal happiness and well-being. Below are four simple reminders on how to build strong relationships at work, home, and in our communities.

#1-Become Genuinely Interested in People

We must become genuinely interested in people if we want to build a real relationship with them. We can become genuinely interested in people when we realize each person is unique and has value to add to any situation because of their distinct experiences and background. Each person is different and thus can contribute to our lives in different positive ways. We must discover for ourselves that we can learn from anyone.

Once we are sincerely interested in people we can then show this interest by encouraging others to talk about themselves through asking questions and then listening carefully to their responses. We can do this as well by remembering important conversations and things we’ve learned about each person. Talking in terms of another person’s interests is also a good way to show genuine care about a person.

#2-Smile

Smiling often makes people feel good, and it helps them to relax and open up. As we smile frequently, we invite others to engage in conversation with us. People also enjoy being around those who smile frequently. As we smile often, our ability to build meaningful relationships will increase.

#3-Listen

Truly listening to others is important in building relationships. Rather than doing all the talking, we must allow others to express themselves and tell us about what interests them. Frequently dominating conversations is a sure way to suffocate and destroy a budding relationship.

#4-Follow-up

To keep a relationships strong requires some contact and follow-up. This means we must make contact on occasion with each person to enrich and nourish the relationship. Allowing too much time to pass between interactions will cause a relationship to wither away and eventually die. Thus, make contact frequently!

Learning to build strong relationships in trust can help us in every aspect of our lives. As we take a genuine interest in people, smile frequently, listen intently, and follow-up by making contact with others, we will be well on our way to building successful relationships.

The Four Agreements

“To be alive is the biggest fear humans have. Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive—the risk to be alive and express what we really are.”
Don Miguel Ruiz

The Four Agreements is an easy read, and it is an interesting and profound book about life and happiness. It challenges our current thoughts and belief system, while inspiring us to find happiness—emphasizing that happiness is a conscious choice. There are many points in this book that are definitely worth expounding on, but at this time I will focus on the specific four agreements.

The first and most important agreement is to be impeccable with our word. Our word is a powerful tool we can use to build each other up or tear each other down. Completely eliminating gossip and negative talk about others and ourselves is hard as it is so common and natural for us to do—yet doing it greatly improves our lives. Our word is so powerful that it can create heaven on earth or destroy everything around us. Though our words often seem insignificant, they have a tremendous influence on our own and others lives, and for this reason, it is the first agreement.

The second agreement is to not take things personally. People say things all of the time that can destroy us if we allow it to. Realizing what people say is not about us but about them and is often a result of a habit or a past experience rather than true beliefs or thoughts, allows us to avoid taking things personally. Being immune to what others say will help us eliminate any unnecessary and needless suffering.

The third agreement is to avoid making assumptions. As the author states, “the problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are truth.” Making assumptions is simply guessing, which frequently leads to unnecessary disappointment, ill feelings, and misunderstandings. Often we make assumptions to avoid communicating with each other openly and honestly. We must have the courage to speak, communicate, and discover the truth rather than simply assume.

The fourth agreement is to always do our best. And although our best may change from moment to moment, we must always strive to do whatever our best is at that given time. By doing our best, we avoid the feelings of regret, self-judgment, and abuse. Doing our best means taking action rather than being “afraid” to live through no action. As we do our best, we will feel good about ourselves and others.

As we practice and learn to live these agreements in our life, we will be able to find a greater level of peace and happiness. The key to living the four agreements is letting go of our fear while giving and accepting love. Having the discipline to overcome fear and strive to live the four agreements will also make us better leaders, and it allows us to choose happiness and success in life.

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Instant Medicine (Part 2)

“If we savor humor, humor can be a life saver.”
George Burns

In my last blog we talked about the health benefits of laughter. Laughter can be an amazing source of power and healing. Today, I’d like to add some specific things we can do in our life to help us laugh more so that we can capitalize on its benefits.

Recognize the Value

One major thing we can do is to recognize the value humor can have in our life. As we come to this realization and accept the fact that laughing can really help us, we become more aware and willing to laugh. If necessary, plan “humor time” into your life to help you feel and recognize its value, and until it becomes a way of life.

Look from the Outside

When you find yourself in a difficult or stressful situation, take a minute to remove yourself mentally and look at the situation as an outsider. Is there anything about the situation that may be just a little humorous? Think funny and laugh at the craziness of life. In most instances we can find humor in even intense situations which will allow us to laugh and relax. This will help us deal appropriately with the situation at hand by providing perspective—most likely making the circumstance seem less important as it once did.

Write

Write down funny things that have happened during the day in a notebook and when you are feeling down, refer to this notebook. This will remind you of funny things that have happened, and it will hopefully brighten your day by causing you to laugh. This book can provide powerful relief when life is difficult.

Just Do It

When people are laughing join in! When you see something that’s humorous, laugh! Don’t hold back or surpass your urges to laugh. Just do it, and you will instantly feel good.

Learning to laugh frequently and freely will make your life better by helping you live healthier and happier. Using humor and laughing often will also make you a more effective and persuasive leader. Finally, laughing will help ignite the fire within.

Read Instant Medicine Part 1

Instant Medicine (Part 1)

“To live better…laugh more.”
2006 Self Improvement Online, Inc

Are you feeling stressed, tired, over-worked, over-whelmed, up-tight, anxious, or depressed…or maybe all of the above!? You are not alone as many have these feeling every day. So how do we combat these harmful feelings that bring us down and negatively impact our lives? I know of one simple solution that may not solve all of our problems, but that will truly help our lives.

Medical research has proven that laughter is a simple antidote to negative feelings. Not only is laughing enjoyable and fun, but it’s an extra ingredient to good health. In fact, many wellness programs are beginning to implement laughing and humor as part of their wellness plan, because the health benefits are numerous. Indeed laughter can alleviate depression, lower blood pressure, reduce stress, and increase oxygen and energy. It can also provide perspective and balance in our life, while helping us relax and stop taking ourselves too seriously. These are simply a few ways laughter can benefit our health and our lives.

Besides personal benefits, laughter also provides social wellness. Victor Broge once said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” Laughter has also been called "social glue", because "people who laugh together, bond together". Laughter builds instant rapport and immediately lowers any tension or anxiousness that may exist between people. In the end, people enjoy being around those who laugh frequently and easily.

Laughter and humor also positively impacts those around us. Laughter can quickly improve a tense or negative situation and/or brighten someone’s day. A little bit of humor can quickly dispel anger, aggression, hatred, and nervousness. Laughter can be contagious as it spreads through a group of people, as well as generous--helping all to feel better.

Finally, research shows that while toddlers laugh 400 times a day on average, adults only average 17 times a day. Thus as adults and as leaders, we must lighten up and laugh more!! As we learn to laugh more, we will be healthier, happier, and help others feel better as well. This will allow us to be better leaders, and it will increase our desire and our ability to perform at our highest level. Learn to laugh and your inner fire will more easily burn.

Read Instant Medicine Part 2

The Five Temptations of a CEO

The Five Temptations of a CEO is another excellent yet simple read by Patrick Lencioni. In this leadership fable, the author describes five traps leaders often succumb to that ultimately hinder their success. The temptations are neither surprising nor earth shattering, but they are instead very simple and obvious. The real problem is not that these temptations are unknown or hidden, but rather that so many leaders fail to avoid them. Thus, the book serves as a great reminder to all leaders.

The first temptation is to focus on status over results. Too often leaders try to protect their image rather than the group they are leading. This often results in less than stellar performances. As leaders we must understand our legacy will ultimately be determined by the results of our team, rather than our ability to defend poor performance or shift blame. As the author so clearly points out, results are “the bottom line” for all top leaders.

The second temptation is to choose popularity over accountability. As leaders, it is easy and natural to want our people to like us—but this will not always be the case. Instead of seeking for fondness or affection from those we lead, great leaders strive to win the respect of their team through accountability and high standards. Holding to these standards may make it lonely at the top, but it will improve our ability to lead.

The third temptation is to wait for certainty rather than provide clarity. Some leaders what until they are absolutely certain about a decision before they make any decision at all. In contrast, great leaders do not wait for certainty, but they instead focus on clarity by making decisions and then letting others know what those decisions are. Making decisions and focusing on clarity then provides a vision and direction for the group. This may mean as leaders we make mistakes and have to change our direction, but providing clarity will make us easy to follow.

The fourth temptation is to get comfortable with harmony and avoid conflict. Sure harmony is good, but constructive conflict is even better. Leaders who seek and encourage the opinions of others will more easily be able to make good decisions. Thus, great leaders ask others to challenge them on decisions, so they can make the best choices possible. Avoiding conflict and seeking harmony will diminish our ability to achieve the best results.

The last temptation is avoiding vulnerability while diminishing trust. Too often leaders give in to the temptation to appear invulnerable by shifting blame, denying mistakes, and threatening others. Rather than hide our vulnerabilities, good leaders trust their people enough to openly reveal them and ask for help with them. When a leader does this, it raises the level of trust in the group, and it increases performance. Great leaders are not threatened by others.

I believe the five temptations outlined in this book are simple, yet powerful. Through first recognizing and then overcoming these temptations, we as leaders will have greater results.

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