The Four Agreements

“To be alive is the biggest fear humans have. Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive—the risk to be alive and express what we really are.”
Don Miguel Ruiz

The Four Agreements is an easy read, and it is an interesting and profound book about life and happiness. It challenges our current thoughts and belief system, while inspiring us to find happiness—emphasizing that happiness is a conscious choice. There are many points in this book that are definitely worth expounding on, but at this time I will focus on the specific four agreements.

The first and most important agreement is to be impeccable with our word. Our word is a powerful tool we can use to build each other up or tear each other down. Completely eliminating gossip and negative talk about others and ourselves is hard as it is so common and natural for us to do—yet doing it greatly improves our lives. Our word is so powerful that it can create heaven on earth or destroy everything around us. Though our words often seem insignificant, they have a tremendous influence on our own and others lives, and for this reason, it is the first agreement.

The second agreement is to not take things personally. People say things all of the time that can destroy us if we allow it to. Realizing what people say is not about us but about them and is often a result of a habit or a past experience rather than true beliefs or thoughts, allows us to avoid taking things personally. Being immune to what others say will help us eliminate any unnecessary and needless suffering.

The third agreement is to avoid making assumptions. As the author states, “the problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are truth.” Making assumptions is simply guessing, which frequently leads to unnecessary disappointment, ill feelings, and misunderstandings. Often we make assumptions to avoid communicating with each other openly and honestly. We must have the courage to speak, communicate, and discover the truth rather than simply assume.

The fourth agreement is to always do our best. And although our best may change from moment to moment, we must always strive to do whatever our best is at that given time. By doing our best, we avoid the feelings of regret, self-judgment, and abuse. Doing our best means taking action rather than being “afraid” to live through no action. As we do our best, we will feel good about ourselves and others.

As we practice and learn to live these agreements in our life, we will be able to find a greater level of peace and happiness. The key to living the four agreements is letting go of our fear while giving and accepting love. Having the discipline to overcome fear and strive to live the four agreements will also make us better leaders, and it allows us to choose happiness and success in life.

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