For the Man Who Hated Christmas

"It's just a small, white envelope stuck among the branches of our Christmas tree. No name, no identification, no inscription. It has peeked through the branches of our tree for the past ten years or so.

It all began because my husband Mike hated Christmas--oh, not the true meaning of Christmas, but the commercial aspects of it--overspending... the frantic running around at the last minute to get a tie for Uncle Harry and the dusting powder for Grandma---the gifts given in desperation because you couldn't think of anything else.

Knowing he felt this way, I decided one year to bypass the usual shirts, sweaters, ties and so forth. I reached for something special just for Mike. The inspiration came in an unusual way.

Our son Kevin, who was 12 that year, was wrestling at the junior level at the school he attended; and shortly before Christmas, there was a non-league match against a team sponsored by an inner-city church. These youngsters, dressed in sneakers so ragged that shoestrings seemed to be the only thing holding them together, presented a sharp contrast to our boys in their spiffy blue and gold uniforms and sparkling new wrestling shoes. As the match began, I was alarmed to see that the other team was wrestling without headgear, a kind of light helmet designed to protect a wrestler's ears.

It was a luxury the ragtag team obviously could not afford. Well, we ended up walloping them. We took every weight class. And as each of their boys got up from the mat, he swaggered around in his tatters with false bravado, a kind of street pride that couldn't acknowledge defeat.

Mike, seated beside me, shook his head sadly, "I wish just one of them could have won," he said. "They have a lot of potential, but losing like this could take the heart right out of them." Mike loved kids - all kids - and he knew them, having coached little league football, baseball and lacrosse. That's when the idea for his present came. That afternoon, I went to a local sporting goods store and bought an assortment of wrestling headgear and shoes and sent them anonymously to the inner-city church. On Christmas Eve, I placed the envelope on the tree, the note inside telling Mike what I had done and that this was his gift from me. His smile was the brightest thing about Christmas that year and in succeeding years. For each Christmas, I followed the tradition--one year sending a group of mentally handicapped youngsters to a hockey game, another year a check to a pair of elderly brothers whose home had burned to the ground the week before Christmas, and on and on.

The envelope became the highlight of our Christmas. It was always the last thing opened on Christmas morning and our children, ignoring their new toys, would stand with wide-eyed anticipation as their dad lifted the envelope from the tree to reveal its contents.

As the children grew, the toys gave way to more practical presents, but the envelope never lost its allure. The story doesn't end there.
You see, we lost Mike last year due to dreaded cancer. When Christmas rolled around, I was still so wrapped in grief that I barely got the tree up. But Christmas Eve found me placing an envelope on the tree, and in the morning, it was joined by three more.

Each of our children, unbeknownst to the others, had placed an envelope on the tree for their dad. The tradition has grown and someday will expand even further with our grandchildren standing to take down the envelope.

Mike's spirit, like the Christmas spirit will always be with us."

This true story was originally published in the December 14, 1982 issue of Woman's Day magazine. Visit www.Giving101.org/WhiteEnvelopeProject

Motivate Like Disney

I’ve been reading a book lately entitled “If Disney Ran Your Hospital” by Fred Lee (review will come shortly once I complete reading it). Currently I’m in the middle of reading a particularly interesting chapter about motivation. In this chapter, the author describes different ways to motivate people and the effectiveness of each technique. One technique in particular captures the very magic of Disney, and it is a very powerful method of motivation yet is often forgotten or seldomly used (Disney being an exception). So, let me share a quick rundown of some of the different ways to motivate others from least effective to most effective. Then let me describe why the last is so powerful and should be used frequently!

#3—Compliance

This is the least effective and most common way to motivate others and that is if you do “X”, you will receive “Y”. Stephen R. Covey likes to call this the carrot-and-stick motivational philosophy where people are doing something simply because they want the reward or they want to avoid the punishment for noncompliance. This type of motivation implies that the action would not take place without the reward or punishment—thus really not very motivating at all.

#2—Willpower

Willpower is more effective than compliance but still lacks in terms of being the most powerful way to motivate others. Willpower is developed through self-discipline and results from a desire to do what is right or what is believed to be right even when one may not feel like doing it. This type of motivation builds self-esteem and confidence and thus is more powerful than compliance. The most common ways to use this type of motivation is through inspiring speeches, mission statements, and goals. In the end, this is a value driven type of motivation.

#1—Imagination

Imagination is a powerful way to motivate others. It is powerful because it aligns actions with feelings. In other words using imagination helps people do what they want to do because they feel like it. Rather than relying on sheer willpower and self-discipline, motivating with imagination aligns feelings with actions and thus produces “real” behaviors and genuine actions.

Let me give you an example or two of how this works. These are examples taken from the book. When Mother Teresa was asked why she provided so much charity to others, she said that each time she helped someone she imagined she was helping Jesus himself. This power of imagination led her to live an amazingly unselfish and honored life. Thus, imagination influenced her feelings which ultimately resulted in sincere actions. Another example found in the book is a nurse who imagined what it would be like to be the patient she was caring for. Rather than providing great care because she simply thought it was the right thing to do, she actually empathized with the patient and had true feelings of wanting to help because of her imagining what it would be like to be in the patient’s exact situation.

Unlike other motivational techniques, imagination produces actions that are real, sincere, and natural. For this reason it is a very effective way to motivate others to act not out of compliance or willpower, but out of a real desire to do so. This type of motivation produces results and truly inspires and uplifts others to do their best.

So, what techniques are we using to motivate others? Using imagination is a powerful and extremely effective way to motivate others. As we learn to use this technique, we will become better leaders. Imagine yourself using the power of imagination to motivate others…and now go do it!!

How to Transform your Life

Failure in life often comes because we fail to align our action with our conscience.
Unknown

Our choices have the undeniable power of transforming our lives.
Jose Teixeira

Want to change your life? It’s easy! Simply start making choices that you know will change it for the better. Ok so writing the solution makes it seem easy, but actually doing it is much more difficult. Let me share a personal example though to illustrate the truth of this point.

Growing up there was a period in my life where I felt an emptiness inside and a little pit in my stomach. I wasn’t sure why at the time, but now looking back, I realize it was because I was spending my time with people who did not hold the same values as I did. As a result of this, I was frequently in an environment that was not comfortable for me, because it was a place where my values were constantly being compromised. In fact during this time in my life I often felt I had to hide my values or pretend to be someone who I wasn’t. So what happened? I finally realized that what I was doing was ridiculous, so I decided to stop going to places where my values were not supported. This simple choice had a big positive impact on my life and alleviated me of my emptiness and pit. So, how did I change my life, how can all of us change our lives? Through our everyday choices.

Today society teaches us to do what feels good right now. Rather than wait, think about, or suppress our desires, we are told to just do it! Acting on our impulses however often gets us into all sorts of trouble. Patience and wisdom seem like fading virtues as impulse and recklessness seem to be the norm. Likewise it seems we rarely consider future consequences to our actions as we become consumed with what we want now. To me it’s almost as if our human race has lost the ability to reason logically and do those things that will simplify and better our lives rather than complicate and ruin them. Perhaps we are addicted to drama or seek the thrill of living without consequence during the immediate moment. Perhaps we have began living in a fantasy world thinking we can hide things and get away with poor behavior; when in fact technology has made this nearly impossible. This lack of thought, foresight, and discipline leads us to heartache, misery, and results in less successful and happy lives. I hate to say it, but it appears as if Tiger Woods is a perfect example of this...Think about how his choices will impact his happiness and success in life both personal and professional. And he is one of what seems to be a growing majority. The sad thing is, often we pressure ourselves and each other into living this way. “Everyone is doing it”, “what is the big deal”, and “don’t worry about it” seem to be the belief system and rational behind this craziness. So for us to reach our potential and increase our success and happiness in life, we must avoid buying in to such belief systems.

So what do we need to do to change our lives? We need to align our actions with our conscience, and we need to understand simple daily actions and choices can transform our lives. We need to start making wise, well thought out choices that will lead to success and happiness. We need to deny ourselves every once and awhile and suppress our initial urges and impulses. We need to have the discipline to say no. We need to think about whether our actions or choices are inline with our values and what the long-term consequences of these actions will be. Does this sound old school? It probably does but doing this will make us much better leaders and better people with more successful and happier lives.

So, want to change your life? Then change your choices. Each of us has the power within us to lead the life we want to live. We have that power and the ability to create our own destiny. So let’s be wise, and make those choices that will result in success and happiness!

The Magic in the Air

Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos into order, confusion into clarity…Gratitude makes sense of our past, brings peace for today, and creates a vision for tomorrow.
Melody Beattie
Ah the holidays are upon us, let the madness begin. I love the holiday season! It gives me an opportunity to think more about all the blessings in my life which fills my soul with gratitude and prompts me to bless the lives of others. Indeed it seems there is magic in the air during the holiday season, like joy and happiness surrounds us, people are kind and generous, and love is everywhere to be found. So what happens during the holiday season? Why is there magic in the air? Well one reason isn’t necessarily magic at all, but it’s simply the power of gratitude.

Did you know it has been proven in many studies that those who show sincere gratitude are happier, more successful, and are better leaders? Being thankful lifts our spirits and helps us to reach our full potential. Being grateful helps us live a more satisfying and rewarding life. Being thankful translates into happier, more productive people. Indeed simply having an attitude of gratitude can literally change our lives for the good, and it will bless the lives of others. For this reason there really is magic in the air, because we turn our hearts and become more thankful and giving during this special time of year.

Now after the holiday season do you feel a letdown? I know often I do. This is not necessarily a result of the idea we will not be receiving gifts any time in the near future, but instead is due to the fact we return to our MO or our routine, and our high level of thankfulness returns to normal “rest of the year” levels. Thus, when we forget about being so thankful that a natural letdown occurs. And this turns us from being superstars into ordinary citizens once again. Thus, if we can figure out how to maintain the same thankful attitude we have during the holiday season throughout the year, we would greatly improve lives and our ability to be successful. Of course this is much easier said than done…

But, this thanksgiving week let us make a commitment to try and do! Let’s truly be grateful this season for all we have, and then let’s sustain an attitude of gratitude throughout the year. This simple act alone of being grateful will lead us to a much more rewarding and satisfying life.

Do Not Get Suckered In!

It seems to me that our society has taken a turn for the worst over the last several years. A sense of entitlement and ease has engulfed our nation. Modern technology, though wonderful, I’m afraid is also contributing to our lack of patience and our unwillingness to be diligent and disciplined. It seems hard work and earned success is going out of style, and they are being replaced by instant results and quick rewards. And, I believe this lack of effort as a whole is slowly eroding the very foundation of our great nation.

“That which we obtain too easily, we esteem too lightly. It is dearness only which gives everything its value."
Thomas Paine

Today often the mentality is if something is hard, then don’t do it. Rather than trying to overcome challenges and persevere, we turn from one item to another searching for instant success. If we do someday find it, this unearned excellence will not result in much satisfaction or happiness—for what is easy is never satisfying very long. Thus our quick success will soon feel very empty indeed.

“That which we persist in doing becomes easier, not that the task itself has become easier, but that our ability to perform has improved.”
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Neurologist Daniel Levitan conducted a study suggesting that for someone to master something he must spend at least 10,000 hours doing it. Study after study has proven great athletes, writers, composers, even businessmen have spent about this same amount of time achieving their very high level of success. To break this down, 10,000 hours is equal to three hours a day or 20 hours a week over a 10 year time frame. Thus, what we can conclude from this study is success does not come easy. Hard work, patience, diligence, discipline, and persistence are all needed to obtain true mastery of a skill. For this reason, we must continue climbing towards our goals rather than giving up or looking for an easy way out, because chances are, we will not find it.

“You must deserve victory to feel good about yourself.”
Rick Pitino

The true path to success is hard work, patience, and discipline. Without these, we may never amount to much, and we certainly will not experience the joy and satisfaction that comes from earning success.

Thoughts on Leadership

Recently I finished reading the book Journey to the Emerald City by Roger Connors and Tom Smith. In the book there was an interesting quote about leaders and leadership. It said, “Leadership is honest motives, conscious thought, and focused effort.” Being interested in leadership, I’ve pondered on this quote and its true meaning. Below are my thoughts.

First, leadership is honest motives. To me this means leaders are sincere, and they do not have to “fake” it. They are committed to the cause, and they are focused on a purpose. Good leaders have a pure intent on accomplishing the end goal of the group, and they will do whatever it takes to get there. To me honest motives equals true commitment and a sincere desire along with a willingness to do whatever the "hard" stuff. Thus it is easy to see how a leader with honest motives can easily motivate those who they are leading. As leaders, do we have honest motives?

Second, conscious thought. Leadership involves making wise, decisive decisions. Leaders must study decisions out in their mind. They must have a knack for sifting through piles of data and then deciphering what will help them and what will hinder them in their decision making. Likewise, as leaders, everything we do, every word we use, and every action we take will be watched closely by those we lead. For this reason good leaders consciously make an effort to always lead by example—because true leaders are always leading. Conscious thought allows leaders to overcome challenges effectively, helping them to quickly continue down the correct path. Are we consciously striving to make wise decisions?

Lastly, focused effort. To me this means leaders are bound and determined to accomplish a vision. They know what can be accomplished, they see the potential that exists, and they work hard to see it come to fruition. Leadership is overcoming distractions and keeping the end in mind. Many people work hard and put forth great effort, but it is continued focused effort that sets successful leaders apart. Likewise, leaders do not wait for things to happen, instead, they make things happen. Tenacious, focused effort will establish one's leadership quickly. Are our efforts focused?

So, as the book states, leadership does involve “honest motives, conscious thought, and focused effort.” As we strive to follow and develop our skills in these three elements of leadership, we will become more powerful and effective leaders.

Journey to the Emerald City

“Journey to the Emerald City” by Roger Connors and Tom Smith is an interesting book about organizational culture. The premise of the book is based on the belief that culture is a result of experiences that people have that determines their beliefs about the organization. These beliefs typically translate into actions which in turn produce results. Thus, to truly change culture in an organization, one must start with changing beliefs through experiences.

As people, our perspective on life is most often shaped by experiences. We have good experiences such as spending time with family during Christmas, and bad experiences such as waiting too long in a line at a store. Our experiences shape our beliefs about every aspect of our life. Hence, for us to have the organizational culture we want, we must shape beliefs. The book focuses a lot of its attention on this point, and it really stresses how experiences and beliefs are most critical to results. Thus we must consciously and proactively strive to create experiences for people that will shape their beliefs.

Reflecting on this, it is a powerful insight to realize that the majority of our memories and beliefs are based on experiences. Thus, what kind of experiences are we creating for others? Are our actions allowing others to have a positive experience or negative one? Experiences are so powerful because of how they shape our lives, and make us who we are. Powerful experiences, both good and bad, are never forgotten.

The book offers strategies for helping us understand beliefs and experiences and how we can shape them. One way to accelerate belief change is through feedback. The book illustrates how feedback is a useful tool that can help create good experiences for others, because when we seek honest feedback and take action, people notice. One of the points the book makes is feedback should be viewed as a “perspective shared” rather than a “truth declared.” Feedback is simply a perception, not necessarily truth; however to most people, perception is reality--thus we must work on changing perceptions based on the feedback we receive.

Another strategy to accelerating culture change is through alignment. By creating alignment among individuals, the opportunity to create positive experiences is greatly enhanced. The book clarifies that organizational alignment is a continual process rather than a desired destination, and it is something an organization should always be striving to achieve. The more alignment increases, the quicker positive experiences will be felt by all.

In the end, the main message of the book is that as leaders, we must manage our organizational cultures or it will manage us. Through creating positive experiences, we can shape the beliefs of others which will translate into to action and produce results. Overall I thought the book was worth reading and I would recommend it to those interested in the topic.


See how I ranked this book

Who is to Blame?

“People may fail many times but they only become failures when they begin to blame someone else.”
Author Unknown

I love the above quote and believe it is true. Set backs and failures are part of life, but we only become failures when we do not take personal accountability or responsibility for them. Too often people find ways to blame something outside of themselves for their problems. This is the easy way out. However doing this takes away our ability to correct and overcome our problems and essentially makes us helpless. When we blame something or someone other than ourselves for our mistakes and short comings, we only hurt ourselves.

Blaming others and not taking full accountability for our lack of success essentially means we have no control over our lives or our outcomes. Instead we believe that outside forces will always determine our success and results, thus it is the luck of the draw whether we come out on top or not. However this simply is not true and learning to change our attitude about mistakes and failures will allow us to be in control of our own destiny and will empower us to create our own success. When we don’t place blame, we remain in control of our lives.

For example, recently the rehab center that I run had a poor month financially. At first glance, it was easy for me to say our occupancy rate was lower than it has been in years due to the fact that people were just not needing our services at this time. Indeed, each rehab center in the area struggled to maintain census and thus turn a profit so there was not much I could do about our poor financial month, right? Wrong! In fact, the number of things I could have done to improve our financial performance is nearly limitless. When reviewing my financials I saw some waste—meaning we spent more money in areas than we needed too. Digging further I also found we did not maximize our revenue in all areas possible thus a quick skim of the numbers tells me I can only blame myself for our lack of performance regardless of the many exterior factors that contributed to our results. Most often, when a mistake is made, there is almost always something we could have done better to avoid the mistake or failure, and when we accept this as truth, our ability to be successful in the future greatly increases.

Now, our society teaches us we should blame others, pointing fingers is the way to go, and holding yourself responsible is crazy; however this could not be further from the truth. When we blame others, we become dependent on them. Contrarily, a life of personal accountability allows us to be free, and thus leads to a much more rewarding and fruitful life. Rather than blame others, why not find ways inside ourselves to be better and produce greater outcomes? Rather than looking out the window to point fingers at external forces, why don’t we focus our attention on looking inside ourselves on what we can control to make things better? Why not use our own talents and abilities to overcome challenges and realize our goals and dreams rather than rely on others? Why should we not take control of our own success?

What I am sharing is not easy for anyone, because it is human nature to shift blame. But those of us who learn to not blame others and rather take full accountability for our lives will become much more respected, and successful. In the end, taking responsibilities for our failures will result in a much happier, rewarding, and prosperous life.

Building Better Relationships

Often we take people for granted, label them, brush them off, ignore them, or treat them poorly. I am definitely guilty of all of these. The sad thing is we have little to gain in life if we deny this fact that people are important. Indeed, our relationships in life play a huge role in our happiness and success.

People are much more than what their title, position in life, their “past”, or appearance makes them to be. When we judge others we may lose meaningful opportunities to learn and develop relationships. Yes, relationships are essential to a meaningful life, and the ability to build strong relationships is an important leadership trait. It is true that often we can learn just as much from others experiences as our own. Thus understanding the importance of relationships and learning how to nurture and develop them is imperative to us all. Below are a few simple ideas on how to build better relationships…

#1 Feel Important

Try to make other people feel important. This will go a long way in building stronger relationships. If we develop the ability to sincerely make others feel good about themselves, we will become great relationships builders. We can help others feel important by genuinely listening to them and taking sincere interest in what they have to say. We can make comments about what they are sharing and give compliments frequently. When we do this, others feel good and will want to be around us.

#2 Smile

A smile is so simple but it can have such a big impact on others. Smiles open the door to further conversations. Smiles express friendliness, compassion, enthusiasm, happiness, and acceptance. Smiles invite others to approach and get to know you. If we learn to smile, we will meet more people and make more friends. A smile provides a positive boost to any relationship.

#3 Really Listen

Listening is such an important part of relationship building because so few people actually really listen. There are many people who fake it, or only half-way listen; but if we can discipline ourselves and learn to really listen, we will be better relationship builders. And again, when we encourage others to talk and we genuinely listen, it makes people feel great. (see #1)

#4 Remember

To be honest, this sometimes can be one of my greatest weaknesses. Good relationship builders remember what they’ve learned about others. Remembering conversations, events, or anything that we’ve talked about before with someone shows we were truly listening and are interested and that we care. Those who have to ability to remember will become good relationship builders.

#5 Open Up

Some of us are closed and reserved and thus we don’t share a lot personal information with others. We engage in small talk and simply skim the surface of topics when communicating with others. Good relationship builders however are more comfortable in opening up, having deeper conversations with others, and showing trust toward others by sharing details and more personal information. When we learn to do this, become more open and comfortable with others, people feel closer bonds and a stronger relationship is developed.

So whether we like it or not, people are important! And the relationships we develop in life are critical to our success and happiness. We must strive to give each person we meet our sincere attention and listen to their experiences and opinions. Let’s start developing our relationship building skills today by following the simple suggestions above. As we do, we will become much more effective leaders and our lives will be blessed.

The 3 "Fs" to Riches

Recently I read an article called “The 3 Fs to Life’s Greatest Riches” by Darcy Keith. In this article, the author discusses 3 Fs that surround us daily, that have the ability to make us rich! These three Fs have the potential to fill our lives with the greatest satisfaction and happiness that life has to offer if we pay attention to and cultivate them. The trouble is that many of us neglect them and fail to realize the riches that come from them. I’d like to share these three Fs with you and let you know why I agree with the author that these three Fs are the most important ingredients to a rich and satisfying life.

The first F is faith. Faith is belief; belief in oneself, belief that good will eventually prevail, and belief in something greater than ourselves. People with faith hope for things which are not seen yet are true. Faith brings hope, peace and comfort. Faith gives us strength and purpose even during our darkest hours. True faith will help us overcome any challenge or obstacle that may come our way. And our faith is something that can never be taken from us. Thus, our faith is a powerful tool that will richly bless our life when we pay attention to and develop it.

The second F is Family. Our family is unique and special. Like faith, families can support and help us through the good and the bad. Our families provide us with some of the most wonderful relationships we can experience in life and provide the greatest levels of satisfaction and joy. Without family, life is empty, lonely, and difficult. With family, life is full and rich.

The third F is Friends. Friends are like an extended family who can give us love and support when we need it most. Friends provide companionship, and camaraderie. When life is hard, or when life is good, a good friend is priceless.

Now, do we take full advantage of and pay enough attention to these three Fs in our lives, or do we take them for granted? Do we take time to nourish and cherish these three important Fs? Do these three Fs play an important part in our lives? The author of the article I read challenged readers to reflect on these similar questions. If we are not doing well, what is stopping us from making these three Fs a priority? For these three Fs have the capacity to make us truly rich! And they don’t cost money, all they require is time!

With faith, family, and friends, our lives are richly blessed. Like the author I encourage all of us to “invest in our faith, spend time with our family, and get together with our friends.” Doing so will be “time well invested and riches well received.”

Life is too short to not Celebrate

In our hectic and often chaotic world, it is easy to become distracted and obsessed with the unimportant. It is also easy to allow time to pass without appreciating or enjoying what life has to offer. Though difficult, life can be and is very rewarding and we should never take it for granted. For us to fully enjoy life, we must take time to have a daily celebration of life.

Celebrating life daily can be done in many different ways. This does not mean we have to throw a party, eat cake, open presents, and blow up balloons each day (though we could). What it does mean is we recognize the significance and blessing it is to live. Rather than focusing on the bad, a daily celebration of life is striving to enjoy each day in at least some small way by appreciating the good.

A daily celebration of life is simple and may consist of taking a walk, spending an extra 5 minutes with our children, reading our favorite book, participating in our favorite hobby, or saying a short prayer of gratitude and thanksgiving. A daily celebration of life simply is making a conscious effort each day to enjoy and appreciate life. It involves giving ourselves credit for the good we are doing while giving thanks for the good that surrounds us.

So why celebrate? Because celebrating boosts our spirits, increases our energy and enthusiasm, and intensifies our joy and satisfaction in life. Because celebrating relieves stress, and helps us to have a more positive outlook and attitude. Because celebrating daily equals a happier person. Just think about it. How would pausing each day to celebrate life change our perspective? A daily celebration of life has the potential to change it, as it will change who we are and how we feel each day.

Finally, we should appreciate and celebrate each day because each day gives us a unique opportunity to do something special. Each day we have the ability to positively or negatively impact others. Each day has a special meaning and purpose. And each day we have the chance to be great. We must recognize this about each day and celebrate the blessing that each day is by taking full advantage of it!

So, have you celebrated life lately? We should strive to celebrate life daily. Let’s take time out of our day to celebrate the fact that we are alive. Life is too short to not celebrate.

Becoming an Unbeatable Person

“It is impossible to defeat a person who never gives up.”
Unknown

“The harder you work, the harder it is to surrender.”
Rick Pitino

Today I want to blog about perseverance—a characteristic that is critical for anyone who truly wants to be successful. Perseverance is a strong mental attitude, a nearly fanatical approach toward achieving something. Perseverance is not something we are born with necessarily however it is something we can develop and learn. Perseverance is an undying enthusiasm and passion for what we want. It impels us to never stop pursing or ever get deterred toward achieving our goals regardless of what may come. Hence, perseverance is a quality of a winner.

We cannot deny the fact that people are more successful when they never give up. In Randy Pausch’s Last Lecture he talks about how each of us will face “walls” when we are trying to accomplish something great. He explains that these “walls” are placed in everyone’s path to separate those who truly want it from those who do not. Those who preserver eventually scale the walls and come off triumphant while those who do not, allow the “walls” to force them down another path. For this reason, a lot of people are not successful in life because they simply give up when they come against a wall. Realizing that accomplishing anything worthwhile in life will require us to overcome challenges and to scale “walls” will motivate us to keep trying when times get tough.

Without perseverance, we will accomplish little and with it, we can accomplish anything we put our mind to. Many go through life afraid to work hard or step outside of their comfort zone because they don’t know what to expect. They fear the unknown and/or they fear failure. They fail to believe that anything good we are engaged in will only build us regardless if we ever reach our goal or not. Committing ourselves to achieving something great and persevering toward accomplishing it will deeply enrich and increase our satisfaction in life.

True perseverance is a unique quality and living in our “show me NOW” society, I believe it is a dying breed. Today, many people will persevere for a time until eventually they become distracted, tired, apathetic, lazy, or weak and they lose everything they’ve gained. This inability to endure causes avoidable stress, depression, and failures in life. When we choose to persevere, we are choosing to be successful.

Our personal level of determination and perseverance will have a huge impact on our life. Perseverance takes a great deal of will power, confidence, patience, and discipline but if we can learn to persevere we can accomplish anything we put our minds to. Because truly it is impossible to defeat a person who never gives up…

Wrestling Gorillas and Winning!

“You always can do more than you think you can do.”
Rick Pitino

“When wrestling a gorilla, you don’t quit when you’re tired—you quit when the gorilla is tired.”
Robert Strauss

With our economy struggling, employment soaring, our society standards lowering and homes deteriorating, one common theme in all of our lives is that we are facing a lot of adversity. And dealing with adversity often feels like we are wrestling gorillas with no end in site or hope of coming out on top. Indeed, it seems everywhere we turn these days there are new challenges, trials, and difficulties even in places that used to be safe such as home or school. Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately) none of us are immune to it or can escape it as we all will have to overcome adversity to be successful in life. And, truth be told, some of us will capitalize on it and become better and stronger, while others flounder in despair. Below are some suggestions on how to come out on top when faced with adversity.

Attitude

Attitude is everything when it comes to overcoming challenges. If we can maintain a positive attitude in the face of difficulties, we can accomplish just about anything. Knowing that we have the power to control our attitude regardless of what happens in life is a powerful tool that if applied, will guide us to success. Learning to accept the fact that things can and will go wrong with a positive attitude will propel us to greater heights and happiness.

Action

Sure, things will go wrong in our life, but this does not mean we should wait for something to go wrong before we take action. Actually, knowing things will go wrong should motivate us to take action now toward achieving our goals. And then, when things do not go as planned, as we know they won’t, it is important to take action to overcome challenges rather than wallowing in despair or being afraid to continue.

Do Good

One way to avoid feelings of despair and depression when adversity strikes is by constantly being engaged in a good cause. When we help others by giving meaningful service on a consistent basis, our challenges and problems dwindle and become small. Being involved in something greater than ourselves has an amazing way of helping us overcome our own personal trials and tragedies.

Knowledge

Understanding and accepting that hard times come to everyone and that the only way to be successful in life is by facing adversity head on is knowledge that is priceless. This life is temporary, we all know that, and understanding that adversity is simply an unavoidable part of life will help us to feel more at peace when life’s challenges hit us—and often unexpectedly. Knowing and internalizing this will help us to cope and overcome.

Perseverance

Finally, perseverance is key. When we feel as though we cannot possible take any more, undoubtedly, more comes. Being able to always bounce back and never giving up will become critical to our success. We cannot be overcome by adversity if we never give up.

Times are tough and will probably continue to be so and that is just life. Those who are successful in life will be those who learn to overcome adversity and then use it to their advantage. We can all start today to master our adversity by remembering to monitor and control our attitude, by taking action, by doing good, by gaining knowledge, and by persevering. Success is not always simply about how much we accomplish, but more often it is about how much we are able to overcome. Let’s start using adversity to our advantage!

5 Simple Motivation Tips

“A pat on the back is worth a lot more than a kick in the fanny.”
Charles Nirenberg

One of the most common ways to motivate others continues to be the old carrot and stick philosophy. This general philosophy entails a reward being dangled in front of some one in hopes that it will motivate them to do what is required to receive the reward. Though this philosophy may be successful at times, there are other ways to motivate people. And these other ways are often much easier and much more effective. Below are a few ideas that will help us break away from the old carrot and stick philosophy…

Look for the Good

Many managers persistently point out and correct bad behavior. However, good leaders have learned that positive attention and encouragement is more valuable in producing great results. Indeed, offering encouragement and pointing out the good is much easier than trying to lead someone to change by pointing out the bad. For this reason, positive reinforcement and simple recognition for the good people do works.

Notice

Often praise and recognition is held on to or delayed until a job is completed, however people like to know that what they are doing now is being noticed and is important. For this reason, it is motivating when we are recognized and reassured in our progress toward the completion of a task. Learning to recognize others at the end as well as during a project will motivate them to do better.

Celebrate

When projects are completed or a goal is met, make sure and celebrate. Providing a sense of accomplishment and victory through celebration will motivate others to accomplish more. Quickly or half-heartedly acknowledging an accomplishment or not celebrating a goal achieved will create a feeling of insignificance and will diminish motivation.

Enthusiasm

Being enthusiastic motivates others. When you have energy and are excited about what is going on, others will feel it and start to join you.

Show Appreciation

Finally, show appreciation for a job well done. Let people know often how much you appreciate what they are doing. Share with them how what they are doing helps you personally. Showing sincere and frequent appreciation will go a long way in motivating others.

So, rather than simply using the old carrot and stick philosophy, use these simple ideas above to motivate others. Doing so will have a huge impact on us, others, and the overall results.

Eliminate The 5 Destructive Ds

“Your chances of success in any undertaking can always be measured by your belief in yourself.”
Robert Collier

The number one reason many people fail to succeed is because they simply do not believe in themselves. They may act like they believe, say they believe, or pretend they believe but deep down inside they question their own abilities. This disbelief makes it impossible for us to progress and reach our goals. Thus, learning to truly believe in ourselves is crucial to success. So what destroys our belief or how can we maintain our confidence? One way is by avoiding the 5 destructive Ds.

Often, in the beginning when we establish goals we may truly believe we can accomplish them. However, as time goes on, things get tough, they do not go as planned, and we begin to lose faith and fall into a destructive pattern that I’ve learned to be called the 5 Destructive Ds. One D often leads to the next D which in turn slowly erodes our ability to believe. When we complete the cycle, we are left in a state of disbelief. Thus, when we feel our belief faltering, it is usually because we have begun to follow the “Destructive D” pattern. And sadly, many of us repeat this cycle time and time again. The Destructive Ds are doubt, discouragement, distraction, lack of diligence, and disbelief.

Doubt is the first D that begins the cycle to disbelief. Once we begin to doubt, our ability to accomplish our goals or what we want in life becomes much more unlikely. Doubt plants the first seeds of failure.

Doubt gives way to discouragement. When we become discouraged, our passion or desire for what it is we are trying to accomplish diminishes, and our ability to be successful decreases.

Once discouraged, it becomes very easy to be distracted. Distraction takes our eyes off the ball and changes our attention from what we want to accomplish to something else. Distraction interrupts our discipline and focus and knocks us off the path—maybe pushing us to an easier more comfortable path.

Distraction leads to a lack of diligence. This lack of diligence and effort completely destroys our faith in our abilities to accomplish what it is we want to accomplish. Once we stop truly trying, this ultimately leads to disbelief.

Disbelief is the final D which destroys our ability to be successful. If we do not believe, we will not succeed.

This is a very common cycle which many people tend to follow. Thus, understanding this pattern can help us recognize when we are heading down the wrong road. Once we’ve identified we are in this cycle, we must stop immediately and get back on track. Breaking out of the cycle immediately can restore our belief, helping us to accomplish our goals.

In the end, without a true lasting belief in oneself, our progression and capacity to be successful at anything is greatly limited. We can choose to overcome and avoid the 5 Destructive Ds with discipline, recognition, and understanding, or we can continue to follow the cycle that leads to failure. Don’t get stuck in this destructive cycle but instead, learn to eliminate disbelief! When we believe, we can achieve anything!

Effectively Unleashing the Law of Attraction

The only thing that stands between a man and what he wants from life is often merely the will to try it and the faith to believe that it is possible.
Richard M. DeVos

The Law of Attraction, as presented in The Secret, is a universal law that maintains that like attracts like. In other words, what we put our energy and focus on, we get—regardless if it is wanted or unwanted. Many are trying each day to discover success by using the Law of Attraction but it still alludes them. So what is the deal? Is the Law of Attraction a farce? I believe the Law of Attraction or at least the basic idea of it is real—when we focus on a goal, we can achieve it. However, reaping the benefits of the Law of Attraction is not as simple as thinking and hoping good things will happen. This is only part of it. In order to truly achieve success, our whole person must be completely aligned. When it is, the Law of Attraction works!

Our whole person, as explained by Stephen R. Covey, includes our mind, heart, spirit, and body. Each of these parts must be aligned in order for us to achieve our goals and reach success.

So first, our mind meaning our thoughts. As explained in The Secret, in order for the Law of Attraction to work and in order for us to be successful, our thoughts must be positive. We must truly believe we can achieve our goals. Being able to master our thoughts and visualizing what success will look like and feel like, will help us achieve them. Indeed, belief is at the heart of all success. If we do not believe, we will not succeed.

Next, our heart and spirit, meaning our feelings. We must feel it to be successful, meaning we must have a burning desire to achieve our goal. Within us there must be a strong passion and conviction for what we want or are trying to accomplish. This feeling must be real and sincere. If our heart or our feelings are not all the way in it, we will never achieve the level of success we hope to. Our feelings must point strongly toward whatever it is we want.

Lastly, our body, or our actions. We must actively pursue whatever it is that we want. Many forget this important piece of the puzzle thinking that meditating, thinking, and feeling will attract the success they are hoping for. Surely this helps, but sitting on the couch all day hoping for a million bucks will never produce results if we never actually get off the couch and do something. Thus, everything we do, just like everything we think and feel should be pointed toward achieving our goal. Our body or actions must be aligned with our thoughts and feelings in order for the Law of Attraction to work.

Once we learn to align our whole person, our mind, body, heart and spirit, I have no doubt we can accomplish anything we desire. Only in this manner does our whole person attract what we want leading to success. Thus, the Law of Attraction works once we realize it requires our thoughts, feelings, and actions. I truly believe that when our “whole person” is truly united, we can achieve anything!

The Truth about Mistakes

“If you don't risk failure again and again, you'll never enjoy true success.”
Steve Pavlina

We all make mistakes in our lives however some tend to do it more often than others. And I purpose that those who make the most mistakes are often the most successful. Why? Because making mistakes means taking risks and challenging ourselves. Making mistakes means we are trying to do better, and during this process we gain valuable experience and judgment.

Now what I’m not saying is that we should purposely make bad choices or mistakes to try to learn and experience different things in life. Rather on the contrary, what I am saying is we need to make decisions. These decisions should be the best decisions based on our limited knowledge. Does that mean they will be the right decision? Probably no more often than not, however when we avoid making decisions because we do not want to make a mistake, we limit our opportunities to learn, to grow, and to be successful.

In fact, those who are most successful in life have learned to fail. It is ok for successful people to fail because they know how it helps them learn and grow. They don’t beat themselves up or dwell on the mistake, but rather they are able to move on with greater understanding and knowledge. They realize that failure will not kill them and that it is much better to try and to fail then to not try at all.

Now, one way to help us in our decision making is to think about the person we want to become. We must ask ourselves, would our ideal person do this? Thinking about who we want to be and then asking ourselves what that person would do in any given situation will provide guidance as we make tough choices in life.

Also, remember that we all make stupid mistakes in our lives because often what we think to be the best decision at the time is not. The fact that we made the decision alone proves we have courage and confidence sufficient to make a choice and then learn from it. This ability will lead to success in life.

Life’s challenges give us experience and allow us to learn and to grow. We must take risks and move forward toward our goals making the best decisions we can based on our limited knowledge. If we learn to accept failure, learn from it, and then try again and again, we will be successful.

The Secret to Happiness

“If you are unhappy, get busy doing something for someone else. If you concentrate on yourself you will be unhappy, but if you focus on helping others you will find happiness. Happiness comes from serving and loving.”
John Izzo

What helps people to be happy in life? The answer is simple really—but requires great discipline and commitment to carry it out. Plainly stated, to obtain happiness, we must forget about our own wants and needs and serve and help others obtain their wants and needs. That’s it. Simple right, yet tremendously difficult.

Each of us has a natural tendency to look out for our own by doing what is in our own best interest. Thus focusing on serving and helping others more than ourselves is counterintuitive to human nature. For this reason it takes great discipline and desire to truly put others before ourselves. When we learn to do this however, life becomes richly rewarding.

Besides our natural instincts to put our own interest over any others, we are also challenged with living in the “me” generation, where our surroundings encourage us to be only interested in satisfying our own needs with little care for others. Indeed, our society is bursting with self-centered messages and ego-centric role models that feed our self-centered natures. This only complicates matters making it even more difficult to find happiness and satisfaction.

To add one more hurdle to keep us from happiness, our society has begun to embrace a destructive entitlement mentality where people do not even attempt to obtain their own desires, but rather they expect it to be provided to them--making it nearly impossible for anyone to want to serve and help others before themselves. As a result of all this, more and more people are unhappy and dissatisfied with life.

There is a universal law that is being ignored if we expect to be happy without serving others. This law is called the law of the harvest, meaning we reap what we sow. As such, if we work hard, we receive the fruits of our labor. Likewise, if we serve others, we find satisfaction and fulfillment in life. This is a universal truth that cannot be altered no matter our efforts to delay or mask the ultimate end results of our actions.

Likewise, it has been proven over time that those who serve others are successful in life and leave a lasting legacy that impacts the lives of many others. ‘Servant leadership’ produces results and creates fulfillment.

So, those who are truly happy are those who serve others. Whether it is family members, friends, or even strangers--those who spend their time helping others gain their interests and desires before their own will find joy and fulfillment in life. Indeed giving, not getting truly is the secret to happiness.

Be a Johnny Today!

“I've come to believe that each of us has a personal calling that's as unique as a fingerprint -- and that the best way to succeed is to discover what you love and then find a way to offer it to others in the form of service, working hard, and also allowing the energy of the universe to lead you.” --Oprah Winfrey

I know many have heard this story but it is worth repeating and remembering that each of us has the capacity to make a difference in the lives of others every day through simple acts…

“A few years ago, I was hired by a large supermarket chain to lead a customer service program to build customer loyalty. During my speech I said, ‘Every one of you can make a difference and create memories for your customers that will motivate them to come back.’

How? By putting your personal signature on the job. Think about something you can do for your customer to make them feel special; a memory that will make them come back.

About a month after I had spoken, I received a call from a nineteen-year-old bagger named Johnny. He proudly informed me he was a Down Syndrome individual and told me his story. ‘I liked what you talked about,’ he said, ‘but at first I didn’t think I could do anything special for our customers. After all, I’m just a bagger. Then I had an idea!’ Every night after work, I’d come home and find a thought for the day. ‘If I can’t find a saying I like,’ he added, ‘I just think one up!’

When Johnny had a good Thought for the Day, his dad helped him set it up on the computer and print multiple copies. Johnny cut out each quote and signed his name on the back. Then he’d bring them to work the next day. When I finish bagging someones groceries, I put my thought for the day in their bag and say, “Thanks for shopping with us.”

It touched me to think that this young man with a job most people would say is not important had made it important by creating precious memories for all his customers. A month later the store manager called me. ‘You won’t believe what happened. When I was making my rounds today, I found Johnny’s checkout line was three times longer than anyone elses! It went all the way down the frozen food aisle. So I quickly announced, “We need more cashiers; get more lanes open!” as I tried to get people to change lanes, but no one would move.

They said, “No, it’s okay, we want to be in Johnny’s lane. We want his Thought for the Day.” It was a joy to watch Johnny delight the customers. I got a lump in my throat when one woman said, “I used to shop at your store once a week, but now I come in every time I go by, because I want to get Johnny’s Thought for the Day.”’

A few months later, the manager called me again. ‘Johnny has transformed our store. Now when the floral department has a broken flower or unused corsage, they find an elderly woman or a little girl and pin it on them. Everyone’s having a lot of fun creating memories. Our customers are talking about us, they’re coming back, and bringing their friends.’

A wonderful spirit of service spread throughout the entire store…and all because Johnny chose to make a difference!

Johnny’s idea wasn’t nearly as innovative as it was loving. It came from his heart, it was real. That’s what touched his customers, his peers…and those who read this story. Great service comes from the heart…Will you be a Johnny today?”

By Ken Blanchard & Barbara Glanz

Just Do It Now!

"The world cares very little about what a man or woman knows; it is what the man or woman is able to do that counts."
Booker T. Washington

Knowing and doing are two completely different things. In my life I’ve known brilliant people who are full of theories, solutions, and ideas yet, they never seem to accomplish much. On the other hand, I’ve also known many individuals who may not know much or have well, thought-out plans or ideas yet, they are successful in life. What sets these people apart is Action!

Action is one of the single most important traits that leads to success. Without action, it is impossible to accomplish much of anything. Action, whether in the right direction or not, is always better than no action at all. In fact, the ability to do is often much more valuable and fruitful than knowledge.

Rarely is there action that is wasted because of a lack of knowledge, but often there is wasted knowledge because of a lack of action. Below are a few suggestions on how to get going!

Become Uncomfortable

Often we have a natural tendency to stay in our comfort zone. By doing this, we don’t do enough to challenge ourselves or rock the boat a little. Simply stated, we don’t take risks. When we avoid risks and avoid challenging ourselves we become stagnant without much movement forward towards achieving goals. For this reason, we must take action and be willing to be uncomfortable. In fact, if we do not feel some degree of discomfort in our lives, we are not doing enough to be successful; we are not taking enough action.

Be Wrong

Another fear we have that keeps us from action is our inability to be wrong. Many who know a lot want to protect or maintain that image. They believe taking risks and failing is an indication they do not know it all. Thus doing is much harder than simply knowing. This fear can quickly make those who know into those who do not do--creating perhaps an even worse reputation than the one they think they are protecting. We must be OK with being wrong, as all successful people have been wrong before they’ve been right. Taking action may take some faith and some humility, but it will bring about good results.

Be Active

Another tragic reason why people who know are not the same as the people who do is because they are lazy. Putting forth effort is too much work, thus simply knowing is enough. Instead of being productive they are more interested in relaxing, watching television, or surfing the Internet. These people like to talk and even ridicule those who are taking action only to find out that life is very disappointing and empty without action.

Have Faith

One last reason people who know do not take action is because they lack faith and courage. Since they do not know the future, they wait and wait and wait. Simply not knowing what will happen tomorrow is not a good enough excuse to not take action, as we will never for certain know what tomorrow will bring. Successful people are those who do not see the entire picture yet they have a vision of what the picture may be. Then they try to create it though doing. Though most often their vision is not completely accurate in the end, it is often close to what they envisioned, because they took action and helped create it! Take courage and have faith by doing instead of simply knowing.

In conclusion, to use the famous Nike phrase we need to “Just Do It!” and just do it NOW! Taking action and living by faith allows those who don’t know a lot to be much more successful than those who do know a lot. Learning to be uncomfortable, to be wrong, to be active, and to have faith will help us all as we begin to take action toward our dreams. We cannot allow ourselves to simply be one of those who knows; we must all be one of those that does.

Technology Overdose?

I found the following article in Healthcare Executive May/June 2009 to be very interesting and pertinent for our time.

“Technology has provided revolutionary devices during the past few years that have allowed us to perform many tasks once thought impossible. Unfortunately, too many people are overdosing on emails, Blackberries and online activities. Fortunately you can control how technology participates in your life. The following suggestions can help.

Evaluate the time you are connected

Emailing during off-hours is OK. The problem however, comes when you work a full eight-hour day, plus stay up into the wee hours of the night emailing. This is when you need to evaluate your “on” time.

Document the amount of time you’re connected each day. Is your cell phone always on? Are you regularly on the computer until midnight? Do you check you messages while you are playing with the kids? Is your email program always running in the background? Do you feel panicked when you are unplugged? If the answer to these questions is yes, then you should figure out why you are connected at certain times and why you can’t turn the device or program off.

List how technology tools should ease your life

Technology can be your friend, if you use it within boundaries and limits, and for the reason it was intended. Get back to the basics of why you need technology. Most likely, you wanted tools such as email and your cell phone to be convenience, not a burden. Map out how you can best use technology in a way that is convenient for you.

Stop blaming technology

If you believe you can’t get away from the constant ringing of your cell phone or the nonstop barrage of email messages, maybe it is time to take some responsibility for your situation. If you can’t turn your cell phone off for an hour (or disable your email for a half-day), what does that say about the way you manage your life? Remember, someone has to push the “on” button.

Get serious about time management

How do you spend your time? Instead of allowing incoming email messages to always pop up on your screen, check your email twice per day and schedule a cetain amount of time for each email session. If you allow your incoming office calls to go to voicemail, can’t you turn off your cell phone for certain hours of the day and let those calls go to voicemail? Schedule your technology-related items and priorities just as you would any other task on your to-do list. Make a schedule that includes time for everything—work and personal activities—and stick to it.”

Source: Adapted from an article by Carol Ring, Vice President, Strategic Initiatives, Rogers Cable

The Secret to Success (part 2)

The decisions we make on a daily basis shape who we are and represent what we value. Good habits make it easy for us to make good choices. And a lifetime of good choices results in satisfaction and success. So, how do we develop good habits or change bad ones? Below are some solid ideas to help us overcome bad habits and begin good habits.

Write

A great first step is to either write down the habit we want to create or break. When we write things down, it is easier for us to visualize and internalize what we want. Putting it on paper makes our thoughts and desires tangible. Once written down, we should place the list in a prominent location that we will see often to help remind us. We should also write down all the potential benefits of developing a good habit or the potential harm of not stopping a bad habit. This exercise will help us think and reflect on the impact our actions have and motivate us to change.

Track

Develop a way to track progress. Whether it is simply making an “X” on a calendar, or using a more sophisticated or formalized tool, we must track our progress in developing or stopping habits. Tracking is an easy way to help us know if we are being successful or not.

Trend

Once we begin tracking our progress, we then can begin to trend. This means each week and each month we review how we are doing to see if we are improving from the previous weeks and months. If we are not improving, we must come up with new strategies and a new plan to improve. If we have a positive trend, we can feel good about what we are accomplishing and celebrate.

Plan

Develop a daily plan or routine. As much as possible, set a specific time each day to work on your habit. If your habit is to write a thank-you letter each day to someone who deserves your appreciation, set aside a specific time to accomplish it. Don’t let chance or lack of planning, or a lack of energy at the end of the day prevent you from developing or breaking a habit. Plan it in to your day and stick to it!

Strategize

Develop goals and time lines. Think about and develop a plan on how and when you hope to completely break or establish a habit. In your plan, start slowly if necessary to build up confidence until you gradually reach your goal.

Ask

Ask friends and families members to help. Tell them your goals and the habits you want to develop or break, and then ask them for their support and encouragement. A strong support group can go a long way in helping us be successful.

Report

Ask a friend or someone you trust to call you each night to see how you did that day. Tell them to hold you accountable to your plan and your goals. When we know we will be reporting to someone on how we are doing each day, it will motivate us to reach our goals.

Good daily choices is the secret to success, and though simple, these suggestions will work! As we learn to replace bad habits with good ones, success will come as a natural result. Good luck!

The Secret to Success

“Next to the bestowal of life itself, the right to direct that life is God’s greatest gift to man. Freedom of choice is more to be treasured than any possession earth can give.”
David O. McKay

How do some people repeat success time and time again while others seem to never quite reach any sort of sustained success? The answer is simple and easy, however actually doing it has proved to be difficult.

In life, there are natural laws that govern our world. When we obey those laws and use them to our advantage, we become successful. (Does this sound like The Secret? Well, it should because much of what The Secret teaches us is true.)

In life, one of our greatest gifts is our ability to choose. And during each day, we make thousands of choices which shape our lives. These choices bundle together over the years and become who we are, and represent what we value.

Now although we have the ability to choose our actions, we cannot choose the consequences that follow. In fact, the consequences of our actions will be either good or bad based on a natural result of any choice we make. Therefore, if we learn to make wise choices more often than unwise ones, we will gain success.

So, the key to success is wise choices. So how do we consistently choose wisely? Through patterns in our lives or habits. When people are able to create good habits, they find success. On the other hand, when people fall into the trap of creating bad habits, they fail.

Our world today often entices us to create bad habits, to follow the crowd, to indulge ourselves, to take the easy road, and to not be too different. In fact this seduction is so intense we often see successful people, who once had great habits, replace those good habits for bad habits which inevitably leads to their downfall. Thus, once we are able to establish a pattern of good habits, we must always tenaciously stick with them while seeking better habits.

So, the key to success is developing good habits. Easy, right? It sure sounds easy, but it is not easily accomplished. It takes effort, discipline, desire, and determination to achieve good habits in our lives. Thus, creating good habits is easier said than done. The good news is, we all have the ability to choose our habits.

In my blog next week, I will offer some suggestions on how to motivate us to develop good habits. Until then, evaluate your patterns and habits in your life to see if the natural consequences of these habits result in good or bad outcomes. Then next week, we will focus on changing and developing good habits!

Simple Leadership Reminders

Are you a leader? Do you consistently do the things below to ensure your effectiveness as a leader? The following are a few simple leadership reminders that will help us become better leaders.

Connect and Recognize

Effective leaders must connect with others through recognition and appreciation. Frequently expressing genuine appreciation motivates others and helps establish trust. When successful, good leaders “look out the window” and recognize others for the results rather than taking credit. Good leaders also connect with others by having a firm and sincere belief in the potential of each individual. Rather than criticize and degrade, leaders must inspire, coach, and uplift.

What You Give, You Get

People are committed to a cause to the degree a leader is committed to it. If a leader cares, others will care. Good leaders do not expect others to do things they are not willing to do themselves. For this reason, leaders must set the example they want others to follow. Likewise, the effort a leader puts forth is often matched by others. Thus, the way a leader behaves, thinks, and acts, is mirrored by others. For this reason, what a leader gives, they get.

Communicate

A key to leadership is communication. This does not necessarily mean leaders have to be great orators or speech writers. Instead, it simply means leaders understand how and when to communicate, which is effectively and frequently. Leaders must also be mindful of how they communicate, and they must strive to consistently take the right approach when delivering messages. Leaders who are able to decipher the correct way to communicate and how often to communicate in any given situation will be successful.

Make Decisions

Good leaders are able to make tough decisions. This does not mean a leader always makes the right decision, but it does mean they have the courage to make a decision and stand by it. Ineffective leaders hesitate or wait for a clear picture that never comes while good leaders take intelligent risks based on imperfect information. Simply stated, good leaders act.

Include Others

Effective leadership includes seeking help and input from others. Leaders should be humble enough to search for better ways, different opinions, and new ideas. Leaders who understand that people are much more motivated to support a world they help create will become much more successful. Leaders should have the habit of bringing people together and including them in the problem solving process.

Be Better

Finally, a leader should never stops learning, never stop growing, and never stop trying to be better. Leaders who are not improving and learning each day will never remain effective.

These simple leadership reminders will help in our efforts to reach our potential and become better leaders. Take time now to evaluate yourself in each of the areas above, and then determine how and where you can improve. By doing this, you will greatly enhance your ability to be an effective leader. Good Luck!

Baptist Healthcare Journey to Excellence

The Baptist Healthcare Journey to Excellence by Al Stubblefield is an outstanding book about the Baptist Health System’s journey from poor performance to excellence. The book offers great insights and practical tools that any business leader, in any industry, can use to improve results and impact the bottom line. Below are some of my favorite ideas that Baptist utilized and embraced in order to propel them to success.

WOW Philosophy

The WOW philosophy is at the heart of Baptist’s turnaround. The WOW philosophy is empowering Workers to become Owners and Winners by creating and maintaining a great organizational culture. Baptist’s success story begins with the belief that employees can and should be just as happy at work as they are at home. They determined that when employees feel empowered to make good decisions at work, they act like owners of the company rather than simply employees, which results in greater job satisfaction. If employees are then rewarded and recognized for their contributions, great things happen as a culture of job-fulfillment is created. Establishing a great culture with the WOW philosophy was at the center of Baptist’s success story.

Passion for Service Recovery

The mark of a great business is its ability to exceed customer expectations especially after a service failure. During their turnaround, Baptist Health realized the importance of service recovery and began a concerted effort to improve in this area by developing the acronym ACT. ACT stands for apologize, correct plus, and trend. This acronym ACT helped establish the idea that fixing a customer problem is not enough, and instead, encouraged employees to go above and beyond to make amends for a failure—thus correct plus. By paying attention to and emphasizing service recovery, Baptist won the trust of many customers.

Three Keys to Leadership

Another important piece that contributed to Baptist’s success was their focus on leadership. They believed that to improve employee satisfaction and results they needed to improve the leadership, coaching, and management Baptist employees received. For this reason, they developed the three keys to effective leadership which included top management commitment, real-time measurement and accountability, and ongoing leadership development. By focusing on these three keys to effective leadership, they were able to develop great leaders and in turn recruit and retain great employees.

Tight, Loose, Tight Management Style

Baptist managers learned to embrace the tight, loose, tight management style which helped in their turnaround process. First they strive to be tight in communicating goals and objectives to ensure everyone is aligned and working toward common goals. Next, they are loose in how employees achieve these clearly established goals. And finally, they try to be tight with results and outcomes. By developing this style of management, Baptist was able to see great results.

This is a very brief summary with only a few of the many great insights and tools the Baptist story provides and that leaders can use to develop their organizational cultures and improve the bottom line. Ultimately, the Baptist experience teaches us that focusing on engaging employees through developing a strong organizational culture works. If you are a business leader, I very highly recommend you learn from the Baptist Health System's turnaround experience through this book.

See how I ranked this book

Strategies to Help the Overwhelmed

Are you feeling overwhelmed?! Studies show that most Americans are, however, there are simple actions we can take to lighten our load and relax. Following these simple strategies reduces stress and anxiety—allowing us to function at a more optimal level and helping us to reach our potential.

#1 Write it Down

Many times we are stressed because we don’t write things down. Writing down our worries, challenges, fears, struggles, appointments, and anything and everything else on our mind will help us to clear our heads. Writing things down can also be therapeutic in a way as it can calm our fears and help us feel more in control of our issues. Now you may be thinking that you don’t have the time to do this but even 5 minutes a day can help tremendously. So, if you feel overwhelmed, slow down and write it down.

#2 Prioritize

Make a list of your to-dos for the day and determine what is truly important. If necessary, postpone or cancel less important items, ask for help on items that can be accomplished by someone else, and then don’t add any new items to your plate that do not need to be added. Prioritizing your activities for the day will allow you to do those things that really matter.

#3 Get Organized

Clutter and disorganization around us is a representation of our lives and reminds us of all we have to do. If our desk is constantly cluttered, then our ability to feel less stress and be organized is greatly impaired. Thus, we should take the time to organize any visual clutter that we may see. Doing so will help lower our stress levels, and it will help us to feel empowered and ready to face the challenges of the day.

#4 Start Small

When possible, start your day by tackling the small items that must be done. Taking care of the small stuff builds confidence and prepares us for the bigger must-do items for the day. As our list dwindles and more is accomplished, our stress levels go down and some relief comes.

#5 Take a Time Out

This is much easier said than done, but taking a time out to relax and get our minds off all we have to do energizes and provides us with a greater capacity to accomplish all we have to do. Exercising, reading a book we enjoy, talking to friends, or spending quality time with our family are all ways to relax, rejuvenate, and refocus. Though it may seem we don’t have the time, making time for a time out will lower our stress, relieve our anxiety, and will allow us to accomplish more.

So it is time to stop feeling overwhelmed or at least it’s time to start doing something about it. Following the simple strategies of writing it down, prioritizing, organizing, starting small, and taking a time out every day will all greatly help us relax and reach our potential. We can do it!

Be a Mexican Fisherman

I’ve had a “milestone” birthday this week which has caused me to reflect quite a bit on my life and what I’ve done over the many years. One interesting thing I ’ve learned is that sometimes in life we have the wrong dreams. Or maybe we have the right dreams but the wrong thought process or mindset or understanding or perspective in order to know what those dreams truly are and how we can make them come true. Below is fun story that allows us to reflect on life and our dreams and focus on what is most important now rather than later.

The American investment banker was at the pier of a
small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with
just one fisherman docked.

Inside the small boat were several large yellow fin tuna.
The American complimented the Mexican on the quality
of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them.

The Mexican replied, "Only a little while."

The American then asked, "Why didn't you stay out longer
and catch more fish?"

The Mexican said, "With this I have more than enough to support my family's needs."

The American then asked, "But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos, I have a full and busy life."

The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fishing; and with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat: With the proceeds from the bigger boat you could buy several boats. Eventually you would have a fleet of fishing boats. Instead of selling your catch to a middleman you would sell directly to the processor; eventually opening your own cannery. You would control the product, processing and distribution. You would need to leave this small coastal fishing village and move to Mexico City, then Los Angeles and eventually New York where you will run your ever-expanding enterprise."

The Mexican fisherman asked, "But, how long will this all take?"

To which the American replied, "15 to 20 years."

"But what then?" asked the Mexican.

The American laughed and said that's the best part. "When the time is right you would announce an IPO and sell your company stock to the public and become very rich, you would make millions."

"Millions?...Then what?"

The American said, "Then you would retire. Move to a small coastal fishing village where you would sleep late, fish a little, play with your kids, take siesta with your wife, stroll to the village in the evenings where you could sip wine and play your guitar with your amigos."

Author Unknown

Steps to Make Your Vision Work for You

Recently I had a colleague confess to me that he was struggling to establish and push a vision for his company. He explained that he understood the purpose and potential benefits of having and promoting a vision for his company but he admitted he just wasn’t sure how to make his vision work for him. He wasn’t sure how to use the vision to inspire and align his workforce. Thinking about this, I’ve come up with some simple steps to help us make our visions work for us.

# 1 Write it Down

If we struggling to promote or work towards our vision, the first thing to do is write it down. Writing down our vision helps to make it real and clear. Often a vision stuck in our head is not as clear as it may be once we write it down. Writing down the vision gives it true meaning and significance bringing it to life and making it a reality rather than an obscure concept. Also, writing our vision allows us to better assess the vision to ensure it says what we really hope to become which is step number two.

#2 Analyze it

Once your vision is written down—analyze it. The purpose of analyzing your vision is to make sure you got it right. Is it really what you want to accomplish? Does reading your vision excite you and make you want to be better?! Does your vision invoke passion and enthusiasm?! Will your vision drive performance? If you can answer yes to these questions, then you are ready for step 3.

#3 Create a Plan

Once your vision is written down and solidified, it is time to come up with a plan to achieve it! This happens by establishing goals and steps to reach your vision. Whether the vision is for one person or an entire corporation, each goal set must clearly contribute to or work toward reaching the vision.

#4 Promote it

While developing and implementing the plan, promote the vision. This is done by communication, communication, and more communication. Your written, verbal, (and even body language) communication must speak to your vision. Memos, meetings, emails, discussions, display cases, bulletin boards, interviews, one-on-ones, appointments, etc. must speak to your vision. During formal or informal conversations, your vision must be apart of it. Indeed, your vision must become apart of you. Your actions are also critical and must be consistent with achieving the vision. You know you’ve promoted your vision well when each decision made is made with the end in mind or the vision in mind.

#5 Re-evaluate it

Finally, you must re-evaluate your vision continually. Times change, circumstances change, and people change and sometimes a vision no longer inspires or motivates, or is really what you want to become. Thus, in order to keep your vision alive and working for you , it is important to re-evaluate it frequently. During this evaluation if you determine it is time for a new vision, simply start back at step number one.

Following these five steps will help make your vision work for you. Don’t delay in establishing a vision for your life, family, department, organization, or whatever you are apart of. The journey to success starts with the end in mind—a vision!

The Power of Adversity

“Our troubles have within them the potential to raise us up to greater heights than we can imagine.”
Al Weatherhead

Adversity—none of us are immune to it, and all of us will experience it throughout our lives. Thus, often how we react to and handle adversity determines our ability to be successful and happy in life. In his book, The Power of Adversity, Al Weatherhead, provides many ideas on how to overcome and effectively deal with adversity, whether large or small. The author also provides meaningful insight through personal stories on how we can tap into adversity's unique capacity to make us better people. Below are some of my favorite ideas (from the many ideas) found in the book.

#1 Positive Thinking is Imperative

We probably all know this or have been told this, but how many actually discipline themselves to do it?! One of the most powerful tools to effectively cope with and overcome adversity is our ability to think positively. Thinking positively gives us the vision to see beyond our current circumstances, and it produces the hope we will survive and be better because of it. When things are going bad, it is easy to get bogged down in disparaging thoughts, but remembering and disciplining ourselves to think positively will help us through tough times in miraculous ways.

#2 Put yourself First by Putting yourself Last

The author suggests when we put others first, we are actually putting ourselves first because of the many benefits we receive by doing so. Learning to serve others in times of our adversity helps us develop a clearer understanding and appreciation for what we do have and are blessed with. Helping others allows us to forget about our personal adversities and focus on others. Serving others also produces positive feelings within us, and it can bless our lives in multiple ways. Hence, putting others first is a powerful tool to help us overcome any sort of adversity we may be facing.

#3 It is Luckier to Earn than to Receive

With the right attitude, adversity allows us to enjoy victories and triumphs in life. If everything we ever wanted or needed was simply given to us, our joy in working towards and accomplishing our goals and dreams would be non-existent. Indeed we need to experience the pain to fully take pleasure in the joy. Imagine life without the happiness and satisfaction that comes from personal victories in life! Thus, it is luckier to earn than to receive, because earning forces us to struggle, learn, and grow; and then it endears us to those things we are able to achieve and overcome.

#4 Why not me?

Often when facing adversity we wallow in self-pity and ask “Why me?!” To successfully conquer adversity though, we should be asking “Why not me?” Doing so empowers and inspires us to overcome our challenges. Likewise, surely worse things have happened to other people and certainly there are people in the world who have it worse off than us--so why complain and question when it could be worse?! Why not be thankful for what we do have? Why not say “why not me?”, and then put all our effort toward turning our adversity into a positive catalyst to self-improvement. Taking this attitude will help us overcome the bitterness and depression adversity can bring.

#5 Attitude is Everything

Adversity has the ability to be a blessing as much as a curse. Our mental attitude will determine the difference. If we view adversity as an opportunity to learn and grow, then adversity will bless our lives. Indeed, the author states “the number one factor in learning to deal with and master your adversity is your attitude.” Thus our ability to view adversity as an opportunity to succeed rather than a problem to simply deal with will often determine our success in leveraging adversity to our advantage.

Remembering these tips and learning others from the book, The Power of Adversity, will help us excel when facing adversity in our lives.

See how I ranked this book

Own Your Life!

“As human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions.”
Stephen R. Covey

One of the unique qualities of successful people is the ability to accept ownership in all situations. This quality is rare, because it goes against our natural tendency to avoid “looking bad” in the eyes of others. As humans, we hate receiving any type of scrutiny or blame. In fact, we often like to give the impression that we are perfect. Because of this, we go to great measures to hide our mistakes, faults, and weaknesses. This is certainly holds true for me. I’ve learned time and time again though, that failing to take ownership for our lives prohibits us from realizing our full potential and from being truly successful and happy.

When we take ownership and responsibility for our results, relationships, success, happiness, life, (everything), we empower ourselves to do great things and be in charge of our own destiny. In fact, living life like an owner rather than a victim reduces stress, worry, and fear. Taking responsibility is liberating as we no longer are controlled by outside influences.

On the other hand, if we don’t act like an owner in all we do, we spend our time searching for who or what we can blame our lack of results, success, happiness, etc. on. I’ve seen in my life that searching for “scapegoats” and justifications can become a full-time, time consuming, over-whelming, and life-long career. In fact, many people expend much more time and energy explaining themselves or being reactive than they do working towards success and being proactive.

Instead of being in denial that we are not to blame for any sort of failure in our life, we must take full responsibility…in every situation! If a relationship is broken in my life, it’s my fault, if work isn’t going well, it’s my fault, if life isn’t as enjoyable as I’d hoped, it’s my fault and only I have the power to change it! Blaming others for failures in my life is unproductive, fruitless, and a waste of time.

Now, I’m sure many are thinking “but it is not my fault,” and to a certain extent, that may be true. Certainly it takes two to have a great relationship but still, we share the blame for any failure we are even partially involved in. For example, our nations economy is struggling, is that my fault? Well as a citizen taking ownership, I must own up to my part of the meltdown. Certainly I didn’t stay completely in tune with poor legislation being past by our elected officials, nor did I stand up against it. I didn’t attend any political rallies for candidates who I felt would help our economy, and I didn’t send any letters to the editor about my concern of the way our government was heading. I probably was not completely wise on how I spent my money, and I certainly didn’t take time to talk to my friends and neighbors about the importance of saving for a rainy day and staying out of excessive debt. In the end, there is a lot I did or didn’t do that somehow contributed to our nation’s current economic state. I am to blame! Now imagine what would be the result if each of us (including politicians) took responsibility for the meltdown rather than wasting away the days by blaming others!

Learning to hold ourselves accountable is not easy. It is a daily ongoing process for me, and I still often get caught up in the “blame game.” When I do, I notice how unhappy I am. Playing the victim is never helpful or fun! Through my experiences, I’ve realized that though it appears to be easier to blame others and justify my actions today, in the long-run, I am only hindering and hurting myself. Indeed, we set ourselves up for failure when we don’t take full responsibility for every aspect of our lives.

So, it’s time to be the owner of our lives! If life isn’t what we hoped for, only we have the power to change that. Taking full responsibility for all we are involved in results in liberty, happiness, and success. Just try being an owner for a day, and see how life changes!

Three Habits of Successful People

“Becoming successful is a process that never ends.”
Rick Pitino

Today I wish to go back to some of my “bread and butter”--simply as a reminder to us of how we can reach our potential and be successful in life. Each of these items have been discussed several times in previous blogs on this site throughout the years, but I believe they are so critical to successful living that it is worth repeating over and over again. Today...here are three tips to becoming more successful.

#1 Vision

“Little plans have no power to stir your blood.” Robert K. Cooper

What is your plan in life? What are your life-long goals? What do you hope to accomplish? Where would you like to be in 10 years, 20 years, and 50 years from now? To reach our desired destination, we must have a vision. Without vision, we will wander through life and eventually realize we never accomplished much and only reached a small part of our full potential. Becoming a visionary person is easier said than done as it takes time and discipline. However, a vision is necessary to stir our blood, to motivate us, to help us be focused and purpose driven throughout our life. A vision propels us to stretch ourselves, to work hard, and to enjoy life. I cannot repeat enough that success in life begins with the end in mind. It begins with vision.

#2 Action

"I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by conscious endeavor."
Henry David Thoreau

Action leads to success. Without it, we fail. Even having a vision without action is pointless. Often people do not take action because they are uncertain or afraid. The best step to take when facing these feelings is to act. As is often stated, a journey of a thousand miles begins with one first step. If we never take that first step, then we will never get anywhere. Doing something, even if it happens to be the wrong thing, is better than doing nothing at all. Action leads to success while inaction leads to disappointment and failure.

#3 Attitude

“Nothing can stop the man with the right mental attitude from achieving his goal. Nothing on earth can help the man with the wrong attitude.”
Thomas Jefferson

Attitude is everything, literally. Without the right attitude, we will not get very far in life. And the great news is that the only person who has the ability to determine your attitude is you! No one else controls it. More and more it is becoming easier for people to play the role of a victim, to say they are helpless—controlled by their environment—not having the ability to be happy and positive because of things outside of them. This simply is not true. We must stop being victims and begin to see all the possibilities and blessings that surround us. As one of my former supervisors used to say, “Remember, you have the power to make this day and everyday a great day.” This is so true, and it is all determined by our attitude!

These three things, though simple, will enable us to be successful in life. Remember to have vision, take action, and maintain a good attitude. If we are able to do these three things alone, everything else will fall into place.