Own Your Life!

“As human beings, we are responsible for our own lives. Our behavior is a function of our decisions, not our conditions.”
Stephen R. Covey

One of the unique qualities of successful people is the ability to accept ownership in all situations. This quality is rare, because it goes against our natural tendency to avoid “looking bad” in the eyes of others. As humans, we hate receiving any type of scrutiny or blame. In fact, we often like to give the impression that we are perfect. Because of this, we go to great measures to hide our mistakes, faults, and weaknesses. This is certainly holds true for me. I’ve learned time and time again though, that failing to take ownership for our lives prohibits us from realizing our full potential and from being truly successful and happy.

When we take ownership and responsibility for our results, relationships, success, happiness, life, (everything), we empower ourselves to do great things and be in charge of our own destiny. In fact, living life like an owner rather than a victim reduces stress, worry, and fear. Taking responsibility is liberating as we no longer are controlled by outside influences.

On the other hand, if we don’t act like an owner in all we do, we spend our time searching for who or what we can blame our lack of results, success, happiness, etc. on. I’ve seen in my life that searching for “scapegoats” and justifications can become a full-time, time consuming, over-whelming, and life-long career. In fact, many people expend much more time and energy explaining themselves or being reactive than they do working towards success and being proactive.

Instead of being in denial that we are not to blame for any sort of failure in our life, we must take full responsibility…in every situation! If a relationship is broken in my life, it’s my fault, if work isn’t going well, it’s my fault, if life isn’t as enjoyable as I’d hoped, it’s my fault and only I have the power to change it! Blaming others for failures in my life is unproductive, fruitless, and a waste of time.

Now, I’m sure many are thinking “but it is not my fault,” and to a certain extent, that may be true. Certainly it takes two to have a great relationship but still, we share the blame for any failure we are even partially involved in. For example, our nations economy is struggling, is that my fault? Well as a citizen taking ownership, I must own up to my part of the meltdown. Certainly I didn’t stay completely in tune with poor legislation being past by our elected officials, nor did I stand up against it. I didn’t attend any political rallies for candidates who I felt would help our economy, and I didn’t send any letters to the editor about my concern of the way our government was heading. I probably was not completely wise on how I spent my money, and I certainly didn’t take time to talk to my friends and neighbors about the importance of saving for a rainy day and staying out of excessive debt. In the end, there is a lot I did or didn’t do that somehow contributed to our nation’s current economic state. I am to blame! Now imagine what would be the result if each of us (including politicians) took responsibility for the meltdown rather than wasting away the days by blaming others!

Learning to hold ourselves accountable is not easy. It is a daily ongoing process for me, and I still often get caught up in the “blame game.” When I do, I notice how unhappy I am. Playing the victim is never helpful or fun! Through my experiences, I’ve realized that though it appears to be easier to blame others and justify my actions today, in the long-run, I am only hindering and hurting myself. Indeed, we set ourselves up for failure when we don’t take full responsibility for every aspect of our lives.

So, it’s time to be the owner of our lives! If life isn’t what we hoped for, only we have the power to change that. Taking full responsibility for all we are involved in results in liberty, happiness, and success. Just try being an owner for a day, and see how life changes!