I just finished reading The Anatomy of Peace by the Arbinger Institute again. This is one of my all-time favorites because of the tremendous positive impact its teachings can have on our lives. I truly believe The Anatomy of Peace can change our perspective on life and on how we view and interact with others. It also provides us with a method and solutions to finding peace in our lives. Over the next two weeks I will share just a few of my favorite quotes and thoughts from the book.
“Normally our preferred solution to problems is that others change.”
Isn’t this the truth!! We spend so much energy and time worrying about how others must change that we lose the opportunity to develop and improve ourselves. The Anatomy of Peace encourages us to take full ownership of our own actions and focus inwardly before responding outwardly. It challenges us to be the solution rather than a contributor to the problems we face. If we can learn to focus more on improving ourselves, rather than on changing others, our life will be significantly enriched.
“The state of your heart toward others will determine your success.”
Too many times when interacting with others, our hearts are not right toward them. Rather than regarding them as people with wants, needs, fears, etc. just like us we see them as objects to help us get what we want. When we do this, we inadvertently push people away, or provoke them to oppose us, or make them feel poorly. On the other hand, when we regard them as people just like ourselves, we invite them to change, to follow, and to feel good about themselves. When we are able to help others feel good about themselves, we have a greater ability to interact, build trust, and compromise with them eventually resulting in much better outcomes and results in life. The Anatomy of Peace helps us understand how we can more consistently have a heart that is right towards others.
“We compulsively act in ways that make our own lives more difficult.”
It is very natural and common for all of us to act in ways that make our lives more difficult and stressful. In fact, through our actions, we often invite in others exactly what we hope they will not do. This book teaches us though how to act differently and in turn invite others to do more of what we’d like them to do. It helps us see how our simple actions towards others can greatly improve our lives and lessen our worries and struggles.
To be continued next week...
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