Success In Spite of our Greatest Enemy

“Self-deception is common and damaging, it kills leadership and causes a multitude of people problems. Self-deception actually determines one’s experience in every aspect of life.” Arbinger Institute (from Leadership and Self-Deception)

I know it is a tough pill to swallow sometimes but our greatest obstacle in life is ourselves. No matter how hard we try, or how much we blame other things for our failings, our greatest enemy is always me, myself.

The reason for this is each us has certain paradigms or beliefs that are less than true. In essence, we live in our own reality we create. We form this reality based on our experiences and what we have learned in life and on our beliefs. This reality guides our decision making and can keep us from doing what is best to help our own success. Ultimately, our actions and decisions we make determine our results in life. It is that simple. No one else has put us where we are today except ourselves.

This “false reality” can also be called self-deception. When we blame other people, circumstances or things outside of ourselves for our short-comings, we are in essence deceiving ourselves. We tell our self “stories” of why we did not succeed for many different reasons, for example to “save face” rather than looking at what really went wrong. This self-betrayal hinders our progress and keeps us from addressing our true problem which is our self. And this is the main problem with self-deception—we don’t even see that we are the problem.

When we don’t see that we are the problem we spend a life time betraying ourselves. We constantly look for others to blame and make excuses for poor results. We can never seem to overcome our true obstacle—me!

Once we understand and accept the fact that we are own greatest enemy, we can begin to change. This takes humility. Hope comes with this knowledge as well as clarity and self-assurance. When we take full ownership over our results in life and truly acknowledge that we are our own worst enemy, we can begin to progress and see results that are much better than days past.

The fact that we are our own greatest enemy may seem depressing but because of this, we are also our own greatest solution. No one can change us but ourselves and we have the power and capacity to be better and to change. Just as we are our own greatest stumbling block we also can become our own greatest boon. As we strive to be better, accept our short-comings, and avoid self-betrayal, we will be able to find success in spite of or because of our greatest enemy.