Easy Steps to Making Friends

Back to school time!  It’s that time of year again and this year one of our young sons is having trouble making friends.  Listening in on a conversation between my son and my wonderful wife about how to make friends is where the ideas for this blog were born.  The message was so simple yet powerful and I knew I needed to share it and I knew it would help me personally in my life.  Knowing how to build strong relationships in life is so important and critical to our success and happiness.  So below are my wife’s six easy steps to building relationships and establishing friendships as shared with our 6 year old. 

#1 Say Hello Using a Name

The first step or piece of advice is to always say hello and greet people using their name.  People like to hear their name and they like to feel like they are known.  Believe it or not, following this simple first step will make you a person who is very well-liked.    

#2 Say Something Nice

After you say hello and call the person by name, give them a compliment or at least say something positive.  Too often we overlook the good and only point out the bad.  Saying something nice such as “I like your shoes” or “Good job on that presentation yesterday” will build rapport.  If you can’t think of something nice to say then at least say something positive like “Wow what beautiful weather we are having today.”

#3  Don’t Say Mean Things

This seems obvious but way too many of us do this.  We should never say mean things about anyone, ever, period—even if others are doing it.  When we say something negative or mean about someone who is not around, other people will begin to wonder what we say about them when they are not around.  Being negative and talking bad about others never builds strong friendships or relationships. 

#4  Share

To be a good friend and build relationships we must be willing to share and compromise.  To help my son understand this concept my wife suggested that he do things he doesn’t particularly like to do at recess time if others wanted to do it and then perhaps suggest afterward they do something he’d like to do.  We really show we care when we do what others are interested in especially when we are not.  No one gets their way all of the time and no one has all of the right answers.  Being willing to share and compromise and even sacrifice what we want for others makes us good friends.    

#5 Don’t be Jealous

Comparing ourselves to others is easy to do and it often leads to bad feelings and jealousy.  Accepting the fact that we are all different and realizing we do have some talents too will help us be good friends and relationship builders.  If we are constantly comparing ourselves or if we are always upset by others accomplishments than the likelihood of others wanting to be our friends will greatly diminish. 

#6 Say Good-bye and Use a Name

Finally, similar to how we started, we should always say good-bye and use that person’s name.  Saying good bye rather than just sneaking off or leaving the situation allows us to acknowledge our interaction with that individual and builds camaraderie.        

Building relationships and being a good friend can be easy if we just follow a few steps that even a young child can learn and understand.  As we follow and utilize these simple steps from my incredible and amazing spouse we will become good relationship builders and establish strong friendships.