It's Time to Celebrate the New Year so it's Time to Set New Goals!

“Goals. There’s no telling what you can do when you get inspired by them. There’s no telling what you can do when you believe in them. There’s no telling what will happen when you act upon them.”
Jim Rohn

Being that we are about to begin a New Year, many of us will be making New Year resolutions to try and better our selves in many different aspects of our lives. I saw recently in a news article that 92% of people who set New Year resolutions do not accomplish them. This is shocking, but I realize I have been among the 92% on more than one occasion. The following are some tips to help us stay the course and reach our goals once they have been set this coming year.

1. Develop a Plan.

Most goals take time and discipline to accomplish, thus we must develop a plan to reach these goals. If the goal is a long-range goal, think of steps you will need to achieve along the way and then set milestones that will allow you to monitor progress and give you a sense of accomplishment.

2. Create Accountability and Measure Progress

Hold yourself responsible for your goals and frequently measure your progress. Creating methods and setting aside time now for when you will measure your progress and evaluate how you are doing throughout the year is important. Additionally, determine strategies of how you will make up for and overcome setbacks and a lack of progress along the way. Doing this will help you stay focused and motivated to reach your goals.

3. Reminders

We all need reminders to help us keep our eye on the prize. Find ways that will keep your goals fresh on your mind and that will help motivate you on a daily basis. Some ideas may include writing your goals on your calendar each day, having a post-it note on your computer monitor, or taping a note card on your bathroom mirror. Think of easy and effective ways you can remind yourself on a daily basis of the goals you have set for the year.

4. Reward Yourself

Determine now how you will reward yourself for making progress and for ultimately achieving your goals. Each time you measure your goals and you find you are on track or even ahead of schedule, reward yourself. Also, decide how you will reward yourself when the goal is finally accomplished.

I encourage all to set aside some time to set goals during this time of year. These goals should include different parts of your life such as professional, family, and personal goals. Goals will help you be a better you this coming year, and following the above steps will assist you in achieving your goals—putting you among the 8% who actually realize their goals. It’s time to celebrate a new year so it’s time to set some new goals. You can do it! Have a wonderful, prosperous, and goal-oriented New Year!

Put Off Death and Help Save America

We must be the change we want to see in the world.”
Mahatma Gandhi

I’ve worked in the healthcare industry throughout my professional career and have been interested in health all of my life. Today obesity, laziness, convenience, time constraints, and a lack of self-discipline plague our society and really threaten to destroy it—in more ways than one. This problem of poor lifestyle choices has led to an increase in healthcare costs, disease, and a decrease in quality of life. It plagues many individuals, families, homes, and communities, and it robs them from the life they could enjoy. Learning how to avoid common poor lifestyle choices that are so prevalent in our society will help us put off death and live more fulfilling lives. In fact, it will even help save America!

America is sinking in healthcare costs and poor life style choices. Our national consumption of healthcare has skyrocketed over that last several years and will continue to grow if we as a society do not make changes. Likewise, many individuals, homes, families, and communities deal with health tragedies that are avoidable. These health problems result in a lack of confidence, increased depression, a loss of work, and many other negative outcomes that impact the person and those around them. It is time for us to make changes to our poor lifestyle choices and resolve to take two easy steps that will help us put off death and save America!

Depending on how you look at it, fortunately or unfortunately, there is really no secret formula to putting off death and saving America other than following two basic principles. The first is to exercise on a regular basis. This New Year, make a goal to find something you enjoy doing that requires cardiovascular exercise such as soccer, kickboxing, or anything that will increase your heart rate. For me personally I love basketball and swimming. At times of the year it is hard for me to find enough people to play basketball or a body of water warm enough to swim in so I’ve learned to do other activities such as running stairs and jump roping. Finding something you enjoy doing will certainly help motivate you, and in fact, it will even make exercise seem like, well, like it’s not exercise. Other simple things to help discipline yourself to exercise frequently include finding friends who enjoy the same physical activities you do and setting aside a designated time of each day to exercise.

The second is just as obvious as exercising and it is eating healthy. I love to eat, and I love to eat food that tastes good! I’ve learned though that sometimes we need to put a limit on the amount of unhealthy or fattening food we eat. I’ve also learned food that is good for you can also taste great! Limiting our trips to fast food restaurants, restricting the amount of sweets around our home, and trying to avoid constant snacking can usually help in eating a healthier diet. Another no-no in maintaining a good diet is to avoid an over consumption of soft drinks. Soft drinks have been proven to increase the chances of obtaining many terrible illnesses and diseases from diabetes to kidney stones to obesity. Learning to eat foods that are good for your body will postpone death and will allow you to live a longer and more enjoyable life.

I am not a doctor, but I’ve been around doctors much of my life and I’ve read enough books written by doctors to know that what really works in helping us maintain our health is following these two simple steps. There is no magic cure to putting off death, but following these two simple steps will help you put off death, increase your confidence, and allow you to enjoy life more fully. It’s been proven that these two simple steps work. Just try it, and see and feel the difference in your life today! Join me in helping us save America!

(A great book to read on this particular subject on how to overcome poor lifestyle habits, and live healthy is The Culprit and the Cure listed on my "Book" page.)

The Christmas Challenge

In complete contrast to most Christmas wishes these days, last year after all of the presents were opened, my mother announced to my siblings and I that the only Christmas present she wanted for the next year was for each of us to perform some kind of service to others and write about our experience to her in a letter. At the time, I did not realize how difficult this task would be.

From serving as an Assistant Scoutmaster to participating in many other church and community service activities, each time I thought I was giving my mother her wish, I felt guilty. The reason is because I misinterpreted my mother’s request as one of personal sacrifice and suffering for the good of another. In other words, I understood her wish to mean that I should give something up and not enjoy the service I was giving even though I was helping others. In my mind, I thought feeling good while performing the service would disqualify it from fulfilling my mother’s desire.

As the year progressed, each time I was certain my next act of service could qualify sufficiently to fulfill my mother’s wish, I always felt strongly that it could not count as I experienced special feelings of gratitude and happiness. Throughout the year, as I attempted to do something that would help others while not filling me with love, I failed. The unexpected cycle continued as I began to realize I had a big problem on my hands, for I began to comprehend that I may be unable to fulfill the simple wish of my dear mother.

Then December came and I started to panic. How could I tell my mother I hadn’t done anything to carry out her Christmas wish?! In this desperate state, I called my family together and we planned several service-oriented activities in December. But as we began doing these things, the same feelings came to me, and were in fact intensified because of the Christmas season. I wondered again how these acts of service could fulfill the wish of my mom for I was being blessed for giving to others.

Now on Christmas Eve, I’ve come to understand that I’ll never be able to serve others and not be rewarded inwardly for it. Thus, I don’t think I will ever be able to give my mother what I presumed she wanted—though I’m certain my presumption was wrong.

This year and especially during this Christmas Season, what I’ve come to accept from my mother’s challenge is that when we give of ourselves whether it is our money, time, talents, etc., we are nearly always rewarded more in return with feelings of happiness, peace, satisfaction, and joy. The more I served others, the better I felt.

My heart was filled with joy this year and so will yours this coming year as you take my mother’s Christmas challenge and find ways to serve others. I learned, or was reminded, the more we serve others, the more we actually receive in return. What a shrewd and wise mother who understands what happiness in this life is all about! I sincerely wish a Merry Christmas to all—but especially, I wish a Merry Christmas to you Mom!

A Christmas Story

As we near Christmas Day, I think it is important to reflect on what this Holiday season means to you and your family. I sincerely wish you all a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!!

The Strand I Could Not Fix
By Janet Perez Eckles

Like fog in the morning, the spirit of Christmas had vanished. Still, I shuffled in the garage. One by one, I retrieved the bins I’d stored the previous Christmas. While the aroma of sugar cookies wafted through the air and Silent Night played in the background, I began the decorating.

Placing the nativity scene as the focal point of our family room, I spread the rest of the decorations around the house: red and green candles, musical boxes with winter scenes, and bright red poinsettias framed with green garland adorned with burgundy, velvet bows. They all transformed our home into a lively winterland.

Next, I retrieved three stockings to fill the marked places above the fireplace; each embroidered with our sons’ names: Jason, Jeff, and Joe. Once Jason and Jeff’s were hung, with tears burning my eyes, I clutched Joe’s against my chest.

The empty stocking sears my heart. It’s been five years since the Lord called Joe home. Five years that Joe’s absence left an emptiness we can almost touch. And five years that God’s grace wiped away portions of the grief that flogged our hearts. But often, it’s the scorching pain that opens our eyes to a bigger picture.

Years ago, when our three sons, including Joe, were still young, I focused on providing a perfect Christmas; a perfect tree to wrap a perfect celebration. As a result, little things tended to roil in me such as a light strand that refused to shine because of a burned bulb. Annoyed at the glitch, I promptly set off to resolve it —I fussed, I rearranged, plugged and unplugged until frustration grew hot in me.

How foolish and silly. I focused on that one bulb, dismissing the glow of the star atop the Christmas tree. I’d done the same with light bulbs that burned in my life—from broken relationships to shattered plans. Exerting tons of energy trying to fix them, I missed the star-- the one that gave significance to my life.

When that void in our heart aches to be filled, it’s the star of comfort that makes it whole. When bitter sorrow robs the spirit of Christmas, it’s the star of His genuine love that whispers joy. When a health diagnosis shakes our world, it’s the star of reassurance that shines the certainty of new tomorrow’s. It’s the same star that never loses the brilliance of hope, incomprehensible hope, one we can only embrace when all strands of life burn out.

With eyes focused on the star, I hang Joe’s stocking along with his brothers’; not empty anymore—but filled with sweet memories--his wit, laughter, his hugs and kisses.

For that reason, God called it His "Morning Star" to dispel our darkness, dry our tears and repair strands we cannot fix.
You can visit the author’s website at www.janetperezeckles.com

The 3 Signs of a Miserable Job

“The opportunity for differentiation from competitors by building a culture of job fulfillment cannot be overstated.”
Patrick Lencioni

Have you ever had a miserable job? I think we all have! While reading The Three Signs of a Miserable Job by Patrick Lencioni, a light bulb went off in my head as I realized his simple message of how to avoid miserable work was very powerful and true as I’ve experienced both success and seen failure in business based on his three unambiguous signs. Managers who can have the discipline and tenacity to implement and follow the concepts found in this book will not only be able to run a highly successful business, but they will also be an effective leader in any aspect of life. Reading this book and taking it to heart is well worth the effort!

The book, The Three Signs of a Miserable Job, relates a story about a business leader who discovers three significant characteristics that contribute to miserable work. And though these three elements are fairly obvious and simple, the author argues that very few managers or companies try to avoid them. In this book, through an interesting and easy to read story, the value of organizational culture is exposed as the main character proves its value through leading three very different companies to success. Eliminating the three signs in the workplace will build and solidify an excellent organizational culture and will steer it clear of supplying miserable work to employees.

Sign #1—Immeasurement
Have you ever wondered if you are doing a good job at work? Removing immeasurement seems simple enough and many may even say all companies measure the progress of their workers—at least on an annual basis at a minimum. However, the author challenges organization to do much more. He suggests employees need to have completely objective daily measurements. In our instant feedback world, daily measurements allow employees to know every day whether they have done a good job. This daily measuring increases job satisfaction and productivity. As the book states, “People want measurables so that they can get an intrinsic sense of accomplishment.”

Sign #2—Irrelevance
Have you ever questioned whether your job matters and makes any difference? Taking away irrelevance out of a job helps employees feel valuable. Every job makes a difference to somebody and in particular, to that person’s boss. In fact, each day we influence our co-workers days for the better or for the worst, thus our jobs are important because we impact others. Helping employees understand how their job is relevant and important is key to avoiding miserable work. People need to feel they are making a difference in the world and a difference to someone else. Creating meaningful work destroys miserable work.

Sign #3—Anonymity
Have you ever felt underappreciated at work? Getting rid of the typical “business relationship,” is how to avoid miserable work. That’s right; we need to get to know one another on a personal level. In particular, a manager should know about the personal lives of their subordinates like how many kids they have, where they graduated from school, and what hobbies they have, as some examples. Human beings like to feel understood and unique—thus managers have a responsibility to help them feel this way. Treating people like people will help managers create a strong company culture.

Overcoming these three characteristics of a miserable job will lead a company to greater accomplishments and will help a leader gain greater results. As the book argues, success is a direct result of a bunch of people who love their jobs. Creating this love and developing this ideal organizational culture will certainly be worth the effort in the long run. So let’s put an end to miserable jobs!

The Art of Listening

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”
Stephen Covey

How many times have you felt frustrated because someone wasn’t listening to what you had to say? Now, how many times have people felt frustrated because you weren’t listening to them? Poor listening is an epidemic in business, in our communities, and in our families. Poor listening results in frustration, wasted time, and misunderstanding that can at times have catastrophic results and ruin relationships. Learning to listen well is well worth the effort.

Listening is an important skill that must be developed and practiced in all situations to become truly successful. Unlike simply hearing, listening requires actual understanding and internalizing of what is being said.

One study in a large organization discovered that employees felt angry, frustrated, unimportant, insulted, and dissatisfied when they thought others were not listening to them. On the other hand, the employees felt interesting, important, good, amazed, and appreciated when they felt someone had listened to them. Based on these results, employers can greatly enhance the satisfaction, motivation and productivity of their work force simply by listening better. This is a very cost effective way to improve an organization and to improve oneself!

Deep listening is not easy, because it takes effort. Listening is an active process that involves focus and attention. Luckily, good listening is a skill that can be practiced and learned through dedication and discipline. Consequently, we have control over choosing to be a good listener or not; there are no excuses!

Listening is even more important in our personal lives than our professional lives. As we listen more carefully to our spouses, children, parents, friends, and loved ones, we demonstrate our love, respect, and appreciation for them. This in turn will have a profound positive effect on your personal and family relationships.

As we learn to listen better, we will be able to better understand and respond to others. Additionally, good listeners are better at completing tasks, helping settle disagreements, and building stronger relationships. Truly listening to others tends to soften the heart and create rapport and confidence. Becoming a better listener today will enhance your relationship skills and thus your leadership skills in addition to helping you become more effective in persuading and motivating others. Making a conscious attempt to be a better listener is well worth the effort. So, make a commitment today to be a better listener!

The Power to Change

“We must look at change as possibility, a chance to be more successful.”
Rick Pitino

Change is inevitable in our world today. From changes in technology to changes in the workplace, our communities, schools, and even our homes, things are constantly evolving. Change can be difficult to deal with, but it can also present wonderful opportunities and experiences to learn and grow as a person. So, how do you react to change? Do you shun it or embrace it? Or are you somewhere in-between? Making change work for you rather than against you is an important characteristic of a good leader, and it can help you have a more rewarding and successful life.

Often, we can be scared of change, because in most instances, we cannot control it. This lack of control and uncertainty over the effects of change can be distressing. However, it can also be exhilarating and motivating, and it can cause deep reflection, self-evaluation and ultimately excellence. Viewing change as an opportunity to learn and experience new things will help you through the transition of change. Facing change as a challenge and a springboard rather than a hindrance and a roadblock will help you be successful. The following are four basic ideas to help you not only cope but conquer change in your world.

1. Be Flexible and Prepared

To deal with change effectively, you must be prepared and be flexible. You must accept that things in this world are constantly changing, especially in our modern times. You also must understand things won’t always be the way they are right now, so you will need to learn to adapt and do things differently when the time comes. Remember, life is full of unexpected surprises, and how we choose to react to them will define us as a person. Additionally, it is impossible to shelter ourselves from change, because change is inevitable. So, be prepared, flexible, and willing to deal with change as it comes.

2. Be Positive

When dealing with a difficult change, try to remain positive. Though this can be tricky, look for ways the change may help you. Search for lessons you can learn from the change, and try to discover the meaning behind the change. Also, change often is good in the long run even though in the present it may seem anything but good. Remember, though the uncertainty change produces is unsettling, it can help shape you and drive you to become a better person. Having a positive attitude will greatly enhance your ability to deal with change effectively.

3. Be Confident

It is important to be confident with change. Often we fear change, because we are afraid that somehow we will be less successful or less capable because of the change. It is important to be confident that regardless of any type of change, you can be successful. It may take significant effort, but have the confidence and determination that if you’ve been successful before the change, you can surely be successful after it.

4. Live a Purpose Driven Life

Try to have a purpose in life that defines you as a person. Be true to yourself. This will help you deal with change, because it can provide a constant anchor amidst these tumultuous times of change. Being firm in who you are and what you believe in will help build your confidence, and it will give you something that is firm and solid--something that can only be changed by you. Living a purpose driven life will effectively help you in dealing with change.

Learning the power that lies in being able to change is essential in our world today. Many leaders fail because of their inability to accept and adapt to change. Don’t let change ruin who you are, what you feel, or how you view the world. As you learn to accept and embrace change, you will become a more effective leader, and you will be ready to have success in this very dynamic world we live in. It’s exciting!! So start developing your ability to deal with change effectively today!

Collaboration is Key!

Where there is convergence and focus, individual mediocrity may well sum up to collective brilliance. In their absence, individual brilliance may well sum up to collective mediocrity.”
Hamel & Prahalad, Competing for the Future

Collaboration is quickly becoming a “key” word not only in business but also throughout the world. As competition intensifies due to technology and globalization, businesses, countries, and even communities are fighting for precious resources and economic growth. Thus, leaders are starting to realize they must learn to collaborate with others to succeed. Leaders see that simply working harder isn’t enough anymore, but that they must also work smarter and together. What does this mean for us? This means we have to be not only willing but also an active participant in collaboration.

Becoming an active participant means we work with others in our businesses, schools, and communities to solve problems in the most efficient and effective way possible. This means communicating, effectively strategizing, compromising, and working with others to create win-win situations. This means putting aside any bad feelings, regret, hatred, discrimination, or negative perceptions we may have toward others. This does not mean we give up what we want in business, life, or in our community; but on the contrary it means we look for ways to support others wants and ideas while at the same time helping them to support us with ours. If we take what we are trying to accomplish seriously, to have the greatest outcome and to be the most effective, we must find ways to collaborate.

Often we are put in tough situations where what we are trying to accomplish is in contrast to what others are trying to accomplish. This often can lead to tension and uncomfortable situations that pit us against others. To handle these situations, be frank in discussing why what you are trying to accomplish is important, because often there is misunderstanding of what each party wants. From there, find similarities and common ground on what each group is working toward, and try to find ways to collaborate and work together. These will be perfect opportunities to find new and smarter ways for both groups to work towards their goals.

Also, as you work with others who are difficult, frequently use the words partner, teamwork, and collaboration in your conversations and written communication with them; it will surprise you how many doors this will open. As we collaborate together in our businesses, schools, and communities we will be able to have excellent outcomes, and we will be able to achieve our goals. By doing this we will remain afloat in our increasingly competitive world. Seek ways to collaborate today!!

Lastly, the following are some ideas of how to take a better and more collaborative approach to problems or issues:

*Set-up a brain storming session where all are able to express their opinions.
*List the pros and cons of each solution or idea.
*Offer to implement a solution for a certain time period, and then meet back to assess its usefulness.
*If you are able to and if necessary, leave the issue for a short time period before readdressing the issue.

Do You Believe?

“It is important to remember that we all have magic inside us.”
J.K. Rowling

This past weekend my family and I attended an interesting movie called Mr. Magorium’s Wonder Emporium. Before the movie I really had no idea what to expect, and I knew very little about it. In fact, my only preconceived notion of the movie was it was a kid’s movie that my three children would enjoy. However, I was pleasantly surprised as the overall message of the movie was very powerful.

Mahoney, an unaccomplished pianist works as a manager for a very unique and successful toy store. She has been at this job for a while, has feelings she is getting older and needs to move on, and is interested in pursuing her music career. But, Mr. Magorium has other plans for her. You see, Mr. Mogoruim is very old and is dying, so he wants Mahoney to take over the store. Mahoney lacks the self-confidence that she can do it, because Mr. Magorium has done such a remarkable job. However, thanks to some help from some friends, when she believes in herself, the store is “magical” once again.

Now, my question to you is do you truly believe in all you are capable of?! Unfortunately, I think most of us lack confidence and the guts to pursue our dreams with our whole hearts. We often feel inadequate, and we question our own abilities and talents. Too often we listen to cynics and critics who would have us be less than what we have the potential to become. In the movie, we see doubt leads to disappointment and sadness as well as a very gloomy and dark toy store; however, when we believe in ourselves there is joy and hope, and the toy store is bright, alive, and magical. This message is one we all can take to heart and strive to learn.

Like Mahoney in the movie, you can accomplish great things when you believe, for believing is achieving. Believing will help you realize your goals and be successful. Truly Believing will allow you to attain anything you put your heart to. Just as Mahoney in the movie learned to believe in herself—that she could run a successful and magical toy store—so too can we learn we can be magical in our own lives. Anything is possible when you believe. Quoting from another kid’s movie, “there can be miracles when you believe”(Prince of Egypt), being believing will lead you to greatness!

5 Easy Steps to Help Build Your Confidence Today

“Adversity will usually start to resolve itself when you begin to take action.”
Rick Pitino

Confidence is an important part of anyone who is successful whether you are a teacher, a mechanic, a mother, or a business leader. Learning to deal with and overcome fear will allow you to build your confidence and face any challenge that may come your way. The following are five easy ways to begin to build your confidence today.

1. Think Positive

Your thoughts have a powerful affect on who you are and what you can become. If you think you are lacking self-confidence, you are probably right. On the other hand, if you think you are full of confidence, you are probably right also. Learning to have positive thoughts will help in boosting your confidence—thus when negative thoughts enter your mind, quickly push them away, and redirect them toward positive thoughts. As you learn and train yourself to do this, your confidence will significantly increase. This may seem easy, but it is not. It takes practice and effort, but it works.

Additionally, begin to envision what being confident will feel like and how your life will be different with increased confidence. Take a few minutes each day to imagine how you will act when you are full of confidence, and then try to live that way. As you dwell on these positive thoughts and begin to feel what confidence is like, you will begin to be more confident.

2. Identify your Successes

We all have talents, skills, success stories and obstacles we have overcome in life—so think about what they are, and reflect on them. It may be helpful also to write them down so you can review them when you feel you are lacking in confidence. Remembering what you’ve already achieved and conquered will help you build your confidence moving forward.

3. Exercise

How does exercise relate to confidence? Exercising raises your adrenaline and heart rate helping you to feel strong, healthy, and even happy. Exercising on a frequent basis will increase your confidence, because it helps you feel and look better. Also, exercising increases your energy level and will fuel your determination to reach your goals and work harder. Simple, consistent, and frequent exercise has many benefits and can increase your confidence quickly.

4. Eliminate Fear

People who lack confidence are often afraid of something. Eliminating fear or at least identifying it and channeling it towards good can help you achieve a greater level of confidence. So, to overcome fear you must control your thoughts and then do whatever it is that you are afraid of—facing the fear head on. For example, if you have a fear of speaking in front of others, challenge and force yourself to find every opportunity you can to speak in front of a crowd. Instead of letting fear hold you back, you need to use it as a motivator to push you forward. Try to view fear as a challenge or game to overcome. This may be frightening; so start with small steps and work your way up. In time, as you continue to challenge your fears, your confidence will grow and your fear will diminish. Don’t let fear be a hindrance or a deterrence but instead use it as a stepping-stone to building your confidence.

5. Don’t take yourself too seriously

One last suggestion to begin building your confidence today is by learning to not take yourself too seriously. Understand everyone makes mistakes, and making mistakes is an important step in learning and developing skills. Being afraid to make mistakes will only lead to a lack of confidence and fear. Accept the fact that making mistakes is okay. When mistakes are made, learn from them and simply think about how you can improve the next time; then move on. Don’t dwell on mishaps. Laughing out loud or listening to music you enjoy will help you relax and loosen up after a mistake or when you feel your confidence is shaky. And lastly, always take ownership for your mistakes. Fess up and commit to be better. As you do this, your confidence will grow.

Following these simple suggestions will help your confidence begin to increase almost instantly. As you gain confidence, you will enjoy life more, and you will have the ability to achieve great things as you more fully maximize your potential. Gaining confidence will help you be a successful leader and live a better life. Commit to building your confidence today!

The Right Approach

“Treat people with integrity and decency, and generally they will respond in kind.”
Unknown

In today’s society, the right approach can mean everything. Whether it is negotiating a deal, assigning a task to a co-worker, or even disciplining a child, the right approach is vitally important in all we do. Likewise, taking the right approach often defines a truly effective leader. After all, how many times has someone asked you to do something, leaving you feeling resentful, unmotivated, and bitter? The wrong approach is common and ineffective, and it often leads to unnecessary stress and contention at work or in the home. Thus, learning and developing the right approach is key to success in almost every circumstance.

Taking the right approach today may be much different than it was in the past. Yesterday’s approach of command and order is out the door, and it has been replaced with a more flexible and collaborative undertone. Using “you will, you have to, because I said so, because I’m in charge” needs to be replaced today with “will you, does that work for you, how about this, what do you think, and please and thank-you.” This collaborative and respectful approach will lead to greater results as you guide and shape those you lead.

Additionally, in years past the boss gave directions without question, but today’s boss must give more feedback to be effective. Most people today expect to know why they are doing what they are being asked to do, so tell them. Explain to them why what you are asking them to do is important and how it may benefit them as well. Tell them the positive consequences of following through and doing a good job. This does not have to be an elaborate spiel but simply a quick sentence or two. Giving a quick explanation will help others learn, develop, and understand why certain things must be done, and will encourage them to do it. In fact, with the right approach they will probably want to do it. This will build their self-confidence and satisfaction as well as their confidence in you. They will more readily follow.

Taking the right approach is not easy and takes discipline and practice. In you conversations, resist the urge to accuse, blame, ridicule, or belittle other’s responses, questions, opinions, accusations, or emotions. Instead remain calm and composed and listen to the input of others. This will allow you to more easily influence others to do what you’d like them to do.

Does this mean the right approach today must make you soft and give in to others? Absolutely not, and in fact, it can mean just the opposite, as it will give you more power and control over the situation. Though staying calm and polite is important, having the right approach also means you remain true to your convictions and talk openly, candidly, and honestly about your opinions and views. It means you are firm on the issue at hand but not on the person. You can disagree with grace and remain in control. As you take this approach, people will mirror your behavior and also want to work together rather than against one another. Taking the right approach will motivate others.

Today, successful people need to be professional and smart in all of their approaches to be strong leaders and persuasive within their roles. Doing this is important in any situation; so take a few minutes when confronted with difficult circumstances, and stop and think about how you will take the right approach to reach the best possible outcome. Taking the right approach will greatly enhance your ability to lead and make you a better person. Strive today to take the right approach in all of your interactions!