The Art of Listening

“Seek first to understand, then to be understood.”
Stephen Covey

How many times have you felt frustrated because someone wasn’t listening to what you had to say? Now, how many times have people felt frustrated because you weren’t listening to them? Poor listening is an epidemic in business, in our communities, and in our families. Poor listening results in frustration, wasted time, and misunderstanding that can at times have catastrophic results and ruin relationships. Learning to listen well is well worth the effort.

Listening is an important skill that must be developed and practiced in all situations to become truly successful. Unlike simply hearing, listening requires actual understanding and internalizing of what is being said.

One study in a large organization discovered that employees felt angry, frustrated, unimportant, insulted, and dissatisfied when they thought others were not listening to them. On the other hand, the employees felt interesting, important, good, amazed, and appreciated when they felt someone had listened to them. Based on these results, employers can greatly enhance the satisfaction, motivation and productivity of their work force simply by listening better. This is a very cost effective way to improve an organization and to improve oneself!

Deep listening is not easy, because it takes effort. Listening is an active process that involves focus and attention. Luckily, good listening is a skill that can be practiced and learned through dedication and discipline. Consequently, we have control over choosing to be a good listener or not; there are no excuses!

Listening is even more important in our personal lives than our professional lives. As we listen more carefully to our spouses, children, parents, friends, and loved ones, we demonstrate our love, respect, and appreciation for them. This in turn will have a profound positive effect on your personal and family relationships.

As we learn to listen better, we will be able to better understand and respond to others. Additionally, good listeners are better at completing tasks, helping settle disagreements, and building stronger relationships. Truly listening to others tends to soften the heart and create rapport and confidence. Becoming a better listener today will enhance your relationship skills and thus your leadership skills in addition to helping you become more effective in persuading and motivating others. Making a conscious attempt to be a better listener is well worth the effort. So, make a commitment today to be a better listener!