The Five Dysfunctions of a Team (part 2)

“Teamwork remains the ultimate competitive advantage, both because it is so powerful and so rare.”
Patrick Lencioni

Teamwork is the main theme of Patrick Lencioni’s book The Five Dysfunctions of a Team. In this book, the author outlines how to effectively work as great teams by eliminating five of the most common roadblocks that impede a team from achieving success. Teamwork is vital to any successful group, and the author argues that great teamwork propels any team to great success regardless of circumstances.

In my last blog I wrote about the first two most common dysfunctions of a team, absence of trust and fear of conflict. In today’s blog, I will discuss the final three most common dysfunctions that keep a team from achieving great results.

A lack of commitment is the third dysfunction of team. This lack of commitment is often a result of ambiguity and a lack of understanding of what the team is truly trying to accomplish and what the ultimate goals of the team are. Without clear direction and a set vision, a lack of commitment from team members is often the result. To obtain real commitment from each member, there must be clarity and buy-in around the team’s vision and ultimate destination. Only then can decisions be made based on the team’s goals. Removing ambiguity and painting a clear picture of the team’s purpose will instill a strong sense of commitment from each member.

The fourth most common dysfunction of a team is an avoidance of accountability. This often results from poor communication and the acceptance of poor performance from team members. When poor performance it tolerated, others assume this low standard is not only acceptable but expected. Thus, team members must not tolerate poor performance, but instead they must hold each other to high standards to achieve success; teams that do not will fall victim to the 4th dysfunction.

The final most common dysfunction of a team is an inattention to results. This dysfunction exists when team members put their personal egos, wants, and needs ahead of the team. By doing this, team members often sacrifice what is best for the team for what is best for them individually. To avoid this, everyone must feel personally responsible for what the team does or does not accomplish. Team members must also understand that if the team fails, everyone fails. Therefore, to be successful, teams must be focused on collective results first!

Avoiding and eliminating the five most common dysfunctions of a team is difficult, and that is why so many teams underachieve. Teams that are able to eliminate the five dysfunctions will well out perform other teams, and they will ultimately have great success. Indeed, the author of this book states the power of teamwork is so strong that a team that truly eliminates the five most common dysfunctions could dominate any industry, in any market, against any competition, at any time. As leaders, let’s work at building great teams!!

Read The Five Dysfunctions of a Team Part 1
See how I ranked this book

The Five Dysfunctions of a Team (part 1)

“I don’t think anyone ever gets completely used to conflict. If it’s not a little uncomfortable, then it’s not real. The key is to keep doing it anyway.”
Patrick Lencioni

Teamwork is the main theme of Patrick Lencioni’s book The Five Dysfunctions of a Team. In this book, the author outlines how to effectively work as great teams by eliminating five of the most common roadblocks that impede a team’s ultimate success. Teamwork is vital to any successful group, because it can distinguish a team from others as it is uncommon--yet so powerfully effective when achieved. Undeniably, the author argues that great teamwork propels any team to great success regardless of circumstances.

One of the first points made in the book is that building a team is not rocket science. Indeed, eliminating the five most common dysfunctions of a team is simple in theory. However, actually striving to eliminate the five dysfunctions of a team on a day to day basis with real people can be challenging—yet it is possible for any group committed to true teamwork.

The first dysfunction which is the most critical is an absence of trust. If team members do not trust one another and are not willing to be open and honest with each other, than the team will be ineffective. Team members must be willing to be vulnerable when working together, and the manifestation of trust amongst a team is demonstrated by the amount of open debate and productive arguing they engage in. This leads us to the second dysfunction which is fear of conflict. These two dysfunctions are the most common and the most critical to any team and for this reason, I wish to elaborate on them.

True trust among team members exists when people openly and honestly express what they think. The author contends that if a team is unwilling to participate in frequent constructive conflict, then their chances for success are through. Thus, effective teams do not avoid hard facts or confrontation, but instead they actively engage in conflict. Great teams do not hold back because trust exists among them.

An important part of these dysfunctions is that team members must realize arguments are based on what is good for the team. A team that has members who trust each other avoids oversensitive and insecure feelings that open and honest debate can often produce. Instead of threatening or offending, honest opinions encourage and inspire. Team members that trust each other never leave a passionate argument with hurt feelings, or damaged egos.

To build further on the importance of these dysfunctions, the author points out that most people do not necessarily expect to get their way, however they do expect to be heard. When trust exists in a team, members engage in open discussion and people are able to unload their personal opinions. This allows members to feel not only listened to but also like an important contributor to the team. This in turn results in more engaged and committed team members.

In the end, all great relationships require conflict in order to grow. Teams that are able to build trust and engage in constructive conflict will eliminate the first two most common and harmful dysfunction of a team. Building trust as a team and engaging in constructive conflict will open the doors to success.

Next week I will continue with the other three most common dysfunctions outlined in the book…

Read The Five Dysfunctions of a Team Part 2
See how I ranked this book

Motivating Others Through Difficult Times

“People often say that motivation doesn’t last. Well, neither does bathing—that’s why we recommend it daily.”
Zig Ziglar

Probably now more than ever, it is critical for leaders to successfully motivate others to perform their best each day. Many people’s hearts and minds are occupied with personal and financial worries that impede or distract them from focusing on what will ultimately lead to success. As leaders, we can motivate others to stay focused on what is important by helping them to forget about their worries and work hard in order to feel good about the contributions they are making. Below are some quick reminders of how we can successfully recapture the hearts and minds of those we lead by motivating them.

#1 Offer Encouragement

Things are so negative these days. Body language, small talk, water cooler conversation, the news, etc. are all full of pessimism. As leaders, we need to provide a spark of encouragement to everyone we interact with by building others up, and focusing on the good. We cannot get caught up in the negative talk that surrounds us; we must look for the positive and the potential in every person and in every situation. Consistently and frequently offering encouragement will motivate others to do their best.

#2 Be Reassuring

A lot of people are quickly allowing worries to overcome them, and many are losing confidence in their own abilities. As a leader, reassure others in their progress towards a goal or achievement. Let people know you notice when something is done correctly. Express your confidence in others’ abilities. Offering reassurance during difficult times will provide motivation to continue trying.

#3 Celebrate

When things go well, celebrate. When a goal is achieved, celebrate. When things are done correctly, celebrate. Whenever you find something positive or good, celebrate. A great way to motivate others and focus on the positive is to celebrate as often as possible. These do not have to be major celebrations for every little thing, but they can be quick and easy celebrations for a job well done. As the general population is focused on the bad, people are not finding many reasons to celebrate; provide it for them. Now more than ever, helping people to celebrate success will instantly boost confidence levels and motivate them to do better.

#4 Be Enthusiastic

Enthusiasm is contagious. If you are excited about something, others will become excited about it as well. As a leader, finding ways to be upbeat and positive each and every day will go a long way in motivating others.

#5 Be Grateful

As leaders, we must show gratitude for the efforts and contributions others are making. Be especially grateful to those who make your life or job easier each day. Expressing sincere gratitude every day will make you happier, and it will motivate others to do better. Being sincerely grateful is essential to successfully motivating others.

Now is the time for great leaders to prove themselves by successfully motivating others during these difficult times. It won’t be easy, but remembering the tips above will certainly help. Those leaders who are able to effectively motivate others during tough times will accomplish great things despite difficult circumstances that surround them.

Are You a Leaper or a Croaker?

“It’s hard to beat a person who never gives up.”
Babe Ruth

“There is an old story that is told about an army of frogs that went leaping through the forest one day when two of the frogs suddenly fell into a deep pit. All of the other frogs gathered around the hole to look down on their two fallen comrades. They all began to sadly shake their heads and to croak out dismal warnings. "It's too deep!" croaked one frog. Another croaked that there was no way that they would ever be able to get out of that pit alive.

The two fallen frogs began to continuously jump as they tried to get out of the pit, but the frogs that were watching kept croaking louder at them that they might as well stop because they were as good as dead and just wasting their time. One of the two frogs finally gave up and heeded the pessimistic advice of the frogs at the top. He quit jumping and literally "croaked" and died.

The other frog just kept right on jumping and leaping harder than ever in spite of all the loud croaks of disapproval from the frogs that were watching around the top of the hole. They kept croaking shouts at him to quit jumping and save himself from all the pain and suffering he was incurring as he leaped and fell back down to the bottom of the pit over and over again.

Finally, he leaped even harder than ever and to the surprise of all the other frogs he jumped right out of the deep pit. The other frogs asked him, "Why did you keep leaping even though we yelled and croaked at you to stop?" It was then that the frog explained to them that he was deaf and he had thought they were cheering for him and yelling words of encouragement to him the entire time!”
Pamela Perry Blaine

There are many important lessons we can learn from this story, but I would like to point out three very quickly. First, our words are powerful and have the ability to uplift or destroy. Let’s be the kind of people that encourage and lift others up despite their supposed weakness and flaws—for we never know what they may be able to accomplish with encouragement.

Second, it is important to surround ourselves with supportive people in supportive environments. Whether we believe it or not, each of us is influenced by those who surround us and the environments we put ourselves in. We must actively seek to be surrounded by good and encouraging things in order to be our best.

Finally, as I wrote about last week, perseverance and never giving up despite the difficult circumstances we may be facing, will lead us to do amazing—sometimes seemingly impossible things. Especially during these challenging economic times, we must never give up. The choice is ours to always be a leaper or a croaker. Let’s be leapers!!

Surviving and Thriving in Difficult Times

“When it is dark enough, you can see the stars.”
Ralph Emerson

With our economy in peril, unemployment rates rising, and war raging around the world, it is easy to understand why so many people find themselves in a state of shock, fear, and confusion. Feelings of despair and hopelessness can easily consume us and destroy us during difficult times if we allow them to. However, we do not need to be defeated during difficult times. In fact, we can choose to thrive! Really, the choice is ours.

During the most difficult and desperate times in our lives, rather than despair, we need to increase our hope by taking action and pressing forward. We must not allow despair and fear to cripple us to “in-action”, but instead we must take action! In fact, we can get excited during difficult times, because they present us with the greatest opportunities for personal growth and success. Having perseverance and hope during difficult times will help us to succeed even in the most perilous times of our lives.

Perseverance

The old adage of “press on” has never been more important to each of us. As leaders, we must keep our heads held high and move forward with quiet determination and perseverance in spite of what may be going on around us. Setting goals, nurturing our hope and confidence, and surrounding ourselves with a positive support group will help us to persevere. Those who are most persistent and have the will to take action time and time again despite difficult circumstances are those people who are most successful in life. Never giving up through perseverance is essential during times of difficulty.

Hope

There is reason to have hope as well. When times are tough it is time to grow. I recently read that in Chinese, the word “crisis” is written by using two characters that represent danger and opportunity. Difficult situations may be dangerous, but they present us with an opportunity to show our resolve and push ourselves to greater achievements. Just as “smooth seas do not make skillful sailors,” a life without challenges does not produce a great person. History is full of tough times and major setbacks, and it is also full of people who overcame extreme challenges to come out on top. Indeed, many people have made their mark on history by taking action during their most dire circumstances. Hope and action are critical to success during difficult times!

In the end, the personal problems we may be facing and the challenges of our country and our world are not a reason to fear and despair, but they are instead a call to action—a challenge to each of us to do better, to push ourselves, to try harder, work smarter, and be prepared. We must persevere and retain hope by taking action each day to better our situation. We must prove we’ve not given up or given in by our lack of action, but instead we must go and do! With hope, action, and perseverance, we will be able to ride out challenging times in our lives and come out better than ever before. The choice is ours!

The Winner Within

“Approach every potential great achievement in a state of total confidence.”
Pat Riley

Through stories of his experiences as head coach of the Los Angeles Lakers and New York Knicks, Pat Riley teaches us some of life’s most important lessons on how to be successful regardless of our position in life in his book The Winner Within. Three of the most important lessons for me highlighted in the book are below:

Teamwork

Teamwork and collaboration are key to having great success in life. Riley encourages us to use the strengths of all of those around us to achieve excellence. The end results of truly working as a team are always much greater than the sum of individual efforts. We cannot reach our full potential in life and achieve greatness by ourselves. Learning to work well with others will help us to find our winner within.

Resiliency

All of us will face challenges, disappoints, set-backs, and failures—it simply is a part of life for all of us. The important thing however is not that we failed but on how we respond to the adversity we face. Do we give up or given in? Or do we learn from our set-backs and try even harder to achieve our goals. Some of the most meaningful lessons that we can learn from life occur when we are down. Being able to capture these lessons and bounce back with even more determination to succeed defines true winners. Resiliency in life often separates the successful from the down-trodden.

Belief

We must have full confidence that we can achieve greatness. Though the path may be long and curvy, we must believe that we can succeed. Riley indicates that giving ourselves permission to lose only guarantees a loss yet determination conquers any failure. Riley states that we must “reignite the belief that anything is possible.” When we truly are able to believe, that is when we are on the verge of success.

Pat Riley’s experiences as a basketball coach are perfect for elaborating on some of life’s most important lessons. As we work as a team, become resilient, and believe in ourselves, we will tap into our winners within.

See how I rank this book

Engagement Starts With You

As leaders, one of our key responsibilities is to emotionally engage others in a cause. This “cause” whether at work, home, school, or with any group is typically defined by the goals and ultimate objectives of the organization. Inspiring others to give their all toward any cause is a heavy burden to bear, and it is not for the weak at heart. For leaders to be successful, the first person who needs to be engaged in the work is us!

It is difficult to inspire the dedication and commitment of others if we are not fully committed ourselves. Sometimes, leaders want the benefits of engaged followers without having the willingness to be fully engaged themselves. This hypocrisy will not last as followers see straight through phony and partially engaged leaders. Thus the leader’s capacity to truly inspire is limited. In the end, the commitment level of a leader will be mirrored by his or her followers.

For a leader to be truly engaged, they must evaluate the organization’s mission and objectives. Leaders are able to become most engaged to a cause when the organization’s values match their own, when they have a true belief in the organization’s future, and when the leader understands how they directly influence results. When a leader finds fulfillment in these three areas, they are typically able to fully immerse themselves in the cause and then motivate others to do the same.

As a leader, if we want to do our job successfully, we must earn the confidence and respect of those we lead by being completely engaged and committed ourselves first. As we learn to become engaged in a cause first, we can then inspire others to follow—ultimately leading to outstanding performance and results.

The Two Greatest Leadership Traits

One of my favorite topics to write about and study is leadership. I am interested in this subject for many reasons, and one of them is because I am awed by the impact and remarkable accomplishments of history’s truly great leaders. Leaders such as George Washington and Abraham Lincoln who sacrificed so much even in the face of severe pressure, unimaginable odds, and harsh scrutiny to change the history of the world. I’m inspired by such great leadership. I often wonder what made these leaders so successful and influential. And how can I, as well as others, measure up and at least capture some of the leadership abilities these great leaders possessed to truly influence others for good?! True leadership that is able to change and define the world is rare.

In studying history’s great leaders, I’ve found two qualities I believe each possesses: being selfless and being visionary. These two qualities alone seem to separate the most influential leaders—those that are able to have a sustaining and expansive impact on others—from good leaders whose influences are real, but perhaps not as extensive. Indeed, I believe many good leaders lack to some degree these two enabling qualities that keep them from being great.

Being a great leader requires a great degree of self-sacrifice and humility. Great leaders are not ego driven or self-serving. In fact, great leaders make extraordinary personal sacrifices for others with very little hope of return. Yet, they do it because of the selflessness of their nature and for what they believe to be the greater good. Great leaders are not motivated by self-interest such as fame, power, or money—but instead are committed to a cause. This selflessness mentality often results in severe lolls of lonelines, and depression; yet great leaders are able to overcome. Because of their nature and commitment, great leaders are truly motivated by self-sacrifice and service to others.

Besides being selfless, a great leader also needs to be visionary. For a leader to be successful, they have to have a clear vision of what can be accomplished and what the end results can potentially be. Often the vision of great leaders is beyond the imagination of others who can’t quite believe in what the leader hopes for and understands. Because of this vision, great leaders do not give in to cynicism or scrutiny, but rather they know what is truly possible despite the many critics and skeptics. Being truly visionary and seeing what others cannot comprehend and then working towards that vision separates great leaders from their peers. Having the ability to be visionary allows great leaders to define the world.

Unfortunately, many good leaders who aspire to be great fail, because they lack these two essential qualities. And regrettably, most people simply do not possess the ability to be as visionary and selfless as needed to truly influence the world, which explains why great leadership is so rare. I do believe however, that each of us has the ability and potential to develop the skills of being selfless and being visionary. Though we may never have quite the impact of George Washington on the history of man, we still can develop these qualities to the best of our abilities and have a profound influence for good! Trying to be the best leaders we can be, despite our many weakness and inabilities, will bless our lives and the lives of others.

Increase Your Enthusiasm

I truly believe few things in life are more important than enthusiasm. If we are able to maintain an enthusiastic attitude, and even better, pass that attitude on to others, we will greatly increase our happiness and success in life. Having enthusiasm no matter our circumstances will add incalculable value to our lives. So below are five easy ways to keep our spirits high with enthusiasm.

#1-Set Goals

Goals provide motivation and direction and make life worth living. Big goals stir the blood and excite and energize our mind. Goals inspire us to achieve impossibilities. As we set and strive to accomplish goals our enthusiasm for life will increase.

#2-Control Fear

Fear is crippling and can suck all the enthusiasm out of life. We must learn to control our fear, and use it as motivation to act for good. By controlling fear in our lives, we will be able to maintain our enthusiasm for life.

#3-Focus on People

I’ve learned the more I focus on others, the more enthusiastic I am about life. We must learn to look outside of ourselves and our own personal wants and needs and seek to satisfy the needs of others. Enthusiasm for life will increase by living for a cause rather than ourselves.

#4-Manage Time

The better we manage our time, the more enthusiastic about life we will feel. Life certainly is busy, and not managing our time appropriately can quickly bog us down and cause us to feel inadequate and overwhelmed. If we manage our time well, we are able to accomplish more-allowing us to feel excited about what we are able to do with our limited time.

#5-Seek Learning

Enthusiasm is often a direct result of learning. Regardless of our stage in life, we must strive to learn something new every day. Learning new things creates excitement and interest in life, resulting in an enthusiastic attitude.

Being enthusiastic as frequently as possible will help us cope with the normal stresses and uncertainties in life. As we develop enthusiasm for all that we do, we will certainly be happier and more successful in life. I challenge each of us to use these five techniques in our personal lives to help us maintain a high level of enthusiasm.

4 Tips to Effective Communication

Effective communication is so critical in all aspects of our lives, yet so many of us fail because of poor communication. Because communicating effectively is so vital to the success of any group, organization, and/or relationship, it is troubling how little time we spend improving our communications skills. Though many communication skills and techniques are obvious, so many of us fail to use and/or apply them. Below are strategies on how to improve our ability to effectively communicate with others to achieve better outcomes.

#1 Listen

Obviously listening is so critical to effective communication, yet still many of us fail to take the time to listen appropriately. By not listening, we hinder our ability to be effective and powerful communicators, because we ignore the feelings and thoughts of others. Not listening has a huge negative impact on any given situation, and it will most often lower our ability to have success. If nothing else, learning to listen more often and more sincerely will greatly improve our communication skills.

#2 Explain

One major obstacle to effective communication is the failure of many to state the benefits of action. Simply communicating a plan, idea, or strategy without tying it to how it will positively impact others is a common type of ineffective communication. Learning to tie your communication to the benefit's particular actions will greatly improve your ability to effectively communicate and persuade others. Don’t make people guess what you mean or why you feel a certain way about something. Instead, make sure they understand why they should do it!

#3 Desire

To effectively communicate, we must want to do it. Sounds simple, right? In truth, this is not very simple, because truly desiring to communicate effectively means we have to engage in uncomfortable and even “dangerous” communication. A true desire to communicate effectively means we share our true feelings, thoughts, and convictions always, to keep an open and honest relationship. Failing to be honest, to share opinions, and to engage in uncomfortable conversations will greatly hinder our ability to be effective communicators.

#4 Enthusiasm

If you want people to listen to you, you must communicate with energy and enthusiasm. Someone who is able to clearly communicate with excitement will capture the attention of his or her audience, and they will be more effective in getting the message across. People tune in when enthusiasm is a consistent part of our communication.

Constantly learning to improve our communication skills should be a part of each of our lives. As we learn to be more effective communicators, we will build stronger relationships and have greater results in life. Simply listening and explaining more, desiring to be better communicators by sharing our true thoughts and feelings, and by doing all these with enthusiasm will greatly improve our ability to communicate with others.

Changing Organizational Culture

A hot topic in the business world today is changing and enhancing organizational culture to maximize productivity and the bottom line. This means that companies are striving to create a work environment where people feel motivated and want to be at work. As our global economy continues to become increasingly competitive, I believe only those companies that are able to develop great cultures will succeed. So as leaders, how do we change our culture no matter the organization?

Our organizational culture is what our employees believe they must do to fit in and do a job well. In other words, it is the underlying beliefs, assumptions, and unwritten rules employees have about the places where they work. These beliefs have a tremendous impact on how the company operates and ultimately, how successful the company can be. Changing well defined unwritten rules within an organization can be a very difficult, but it not impossible—changing them is key to the success of improving the culture.

We can begin to change culture or these underlying beliefs within the organization by focusing on experiences. Experiences are crucial, because they are the reason for the type of culture any group of people has. Therefore, employees create an internal belief system about their employer based on the experiences they have at work. This belief system will in turn impact their actions at work, which will produce results. In companies with good organizational cultures, this belief system drives workers to do better, think smarter, and work harder; the opposite is true for companies with poor cultures. In good cultures, employees are engaged, and they want to contribute and be at work. They feel satisfied, involved, important, and fulfilled. As leaders, if we can create a positive underlying belief system based on positive experiences for our employees, then we will be well on our way to have a great culture and excellent results.

Now, the most critical experiences are those of a new employee. Experiences a new employee has when working within an organization will define his or her underlying belief system about the organization almost immediately. New employees are critical, because they come to work with only a few perceptions and ideas of how the company really works and operates. Thus, new employees are very impressionable as they begin work, thus it becomes extremely important for employers to create great experiences for new comers. Doing this will go a long way in enhancing the overall culture. For this same reason, a huge focus in the business world has been on effectively “onboarding” new employees so they have good experiences and are productive from day one of employment. Again, these first days are so important to the success of developing a good culture and thus bottom line results.

As we focus on developing good experiences for all employees, our culture will begin to change. The more positive experiences an employee has, the more positive beliefs the employee will have about the company--thus creating a better organizational culture. As leaders, we must focus on creating wonderful experiences for our employees in every aspect of their job to improve our culture.

So to review, an organizational culture begins with the experiences employees have at work. These experiences lead to beliefs. These beliefs turn into actions at work, and actions turn into results. If we want to change, improve, or create great cultures, we must focus on providing positive experiences for our employees. As leaders, developing our organizational culture will be critical to our success, and by focusing on experiences we can positively influence any organization we are a part of.

Prioritizing Our Time

In our hectic and often overly scheduled world, how do we prioritize our activities to maximize our time? And then in turn, how do we use our time on what is most important? This is a common challenge of our day, yet we can learn to be equal to the task and maximize our time.

Most of us in our busy lives have more things expected of us than what we can possibly do. Thus, each day becomes challenging as we face choices of what we will and won’t do based on our limited time. To come out on top, we must learn to effectively prioritize and do those things that matter most.

An important part of effectively prioritizing is realizing that spending our time doing something that is good, is not always the best option. For example, it may be a good idea to work longer hours today to complete an important project. However it may be better to escape the stress of work life to clear your head and regroup before completing the project by taking a hike up your favorite trail, or perhaps the best option at the time is to hurry home and spend time with your child who is having a rough time adjusting to a new school year. Each of these options is good, but depending on the circumstances, one will be best and better than the other two.

Personally deciding what is most important to us in our lives will help us utilize our time wisely. Now, let me reiterate again, just because something is good, does not make it worth doing, as the number of good things we can do far exceeds our time available. For that reason, we have to determine those things that are better than good to ensure the most important things are commanding our attention. When viewing our limited time, deciding to do something good is usually not good enough.

Now, rather than spending our whole lives debating what our best choice is at any given time, there are certain steps we must take to make our decision making easy and almost automatic. These steps include developing a well defined personal mission statement and value system for our lives, and then setting and monitoring goals to achieve them. Our personal mission, values, and goals will help guide us as we face choices on how to spend our time. And having these items well defined in our lives will help clearly steer us to the best use of our time.

Truly learning to utilize our time effectively is a major challenge for all of us and often hinders our success and happiness in life. As each of us learns and works at overcoming this challenge by prioritizing our time effectively, we will maximize our full potential and live a rewarding life. Let’s decide now to strive to consistently make the best choices possible so that we can come out on top. We can do it!

A Secret To Motivating Others

Too often we spend our time correcting the bad in others while ignoring the good. In fact, a common misconception is that pointing out flaws or mistakes will improve the performance of an individual--thus producing better results. At the same time, many people then fail to recognize good behavior, because it is expected. Espousing this thought process is detrimental to the success of any leader or organization.

One secret to truly motivating others is to point out and dwell on the good, rather than the bad. This does not mean we need to always ignore things that are done incorrectly, but it simply means we do NOT ignore the good. When someone does something right, make sure to let them know. Good behavior needs just as much attention as bad—if not more!!

Being enthusiastic and sincere about pointing out the good others do will make us more effective and influential leaders. People want to perform well for leaders who make them feel good. Besides, most people already know their weaknesses and faults, and they may just need support on how to minimize them. As leaders, if we focus on the good, our ability to influence and persuade others will be greatly enhanced, and we will see better results.

To take a step further, at times it is wise to make a very big deal about something that is done correctly—even if it is something small. Every once in awhile, acting like someone just won the lottery when they do something that is good creates a personal feeling of victory and accomplishment, and it will strongly reinforce the behavior in them and others. Showing this sincere enthusiasm and great emotion will most likely cause the individual to do more good to get similar reactions and more positive attention and feedback.

Reinforcing good behavior and providing encouragement fosters progression and improvement. As you reassure people in their progress by noticing it and recognizing it, people will respond. Compliments, sincere discussion, and simple recognition of the good will go a long way in improving the performance and result of a team or individual.

Lastly, it is always important to express appreciation. People are free to do whatever they choose. If they choose to do something that is right, thank them for it, don’t ignore it. As we frequently express gratitude for what others are doing, we will motivate them to be better.

In conclusion, let’s try to focus on the good in people. Each individual has special and unique talents, abilities, and skills—so let’s recognize them for it! As we do, we will motivate them to be their best, and our own fire within us will burn.

Self-confidence Tips

“He who has confidence in himself will gain the confidence of others.”
Leib Lazarow

Possessing a great degree of self-confidence is a hallmark trait of effective leaders. Indeed, people expect good leaders to be courageous and confident. So as leaders, how do we build self-confidence? Here are a few ideas.

# 1 Be Productive

There is so much good entertainment and so many interesting things surrounding us these days that often we fail to be productive and invest our time in ourselves and others. Wasting away our free time by watching TV, playing video games, or surfing the net does NOT build up our self-confidence. Instead, reading, learning, working with our hands, exercising, serving in the community, and other similar activities help us to be productive and builds confidence.

# 2 Monitor Surroundings

Putting ourselves in a supportive environment does more for self-confidence than often we may imagine. Avoid negative or derogatory entertainment, relationships, or associations that will tear you down rather than build you up. Find meaningful friendships and relationships that will boost your self-confidence and allow you succeed.

# 3 Have Goals

Setting goals and then actively working toward achieving them will build self-confidence. As you set high expectations and objectives for yourself, you will be motivated to do your best and reach your potential. Putting forth the focus and energy necessary to reach goals will produce a higher level of self-assurance.

# 4 Be Persistent

One of the best ways to build self-confidence is through resolve and persistence. More often than not, people will be opposed to your ideas, thoughts, plans, goals etc., but sticking to them will build your confidence. Don’t listen to the naysayers or critics, but instead listen to your inner voice and follow it 100% no matter the opposition.

# 5 Be Receptive

Being receptive to constructive criticism, new ideas, and different ways of thinking will actually increase your self-confidence. As you remain teachable and humble, your ability to learn and grow will remain at a high level. And as you learn and grow, your confidence will increase.

Having a high level of self-confidence is important to any successful leader. Thus learning to be self-confident will enable us to be stronger and more effective leaders.

Maintaining a Healthy Level of Insanity

A little over two weeks ago I wrote two blogs about the benefits of laughter and not taking ourselves too seriously. Recently my brother sent me a funny list of items he found on the internet entitled "How to Maintain a Healthy Level of Insanity." I found the list to be quite amusing and thus would like to share it, in hopes of bringing a smile to your face and lighting up your mood on this day. I will neither admit nor deny doing any of the items below…

*How To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At Lunch Time, Sit in Your Parked Car with Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer at Passing Cars. See If They Slow Down.

2. Page Yourself Over The Intercom. Don't Disguise Your Voice.

3. Every Time Someone Asks You to Do Something, ask If They Want Fries with that.

4. Order a Diet Water whenever you go out to eat, with a serious face.

5. Put Mosquito Netting around Your Work Area and Play tropical Sounds All Day.

6. Have Your Co-workers Address You by Your Wrestling Name, Rock Bottom.

7. When The Money Comes Out The ATM, Scream 'I Won! I Won!'

8. When Leaving the Zoo, Start Running towards the Parking lot, yelling 'Run for Your Lives! They're Loose!'

9. Tell Your Children Over Dinner, 'Due To The Economy, We Are Going To Have To Let One Of You Go.'

*Source Unknown

Branding--Not Just For Businesses

In the business world we often discuss the power and importance of a product's brand. Branding a product is a powerful way to influence numerous customers over long periods of time. The brand of a product is the emotional connection a consumer has with that product which persuades the customer to keep coming back or to avoid it all together. Thus, brand recognition is created by multiple experiences a consumer has with a product--both positive and negative. In addition, a product's brand helps create a level of expectation a consumer has about the product. Consequently, a brand is a powerful influencer that takes time to create, develop, and then change if necessary. A good long-term branding strategy alone can help make a business extremely profitable for many years.

So what is your personal brand? Is your branding strategy helping you to be profitable? Each of us creates a brand with others by our actions, behaviors, and habits. Our brand either encourages others to work with us and be around us, or it has the opposite effect. The way we treat people, even during insignificant moments, categorizes us as a certain type of commodity, which determines if people want to remain or become loyal customers. If we create a positive brand, we will be able to have a strong influence on others and impact them for good. If our brand is negative, we will push others away or attract the wrong loyal customers.

To create our personal brand, we must ensure our actions and behaviors are in line with the values and culture we want to promote. The longer these behaviors are consistent over time, the stronger and more evident our personal brand becomes.

Certainly there are varieties of unique personal brands that are effective or “good” based on each individual’s unique beliefs and values. Likewise, there are mixtures of “right” behaviors that help create the specific brand we may be seeking to establish. The most important thing is that we are mindful of our behaviors and our interactions with others and realize that each day we establish building a personal brand.

Different types of brands will attract different types of loyal customers. Does our brand attract the type of people we want to be around? If not, we need to reflect on what we are doing, and we must try to change our brand through altering our behaviors, actions, and habits. Remember, it takes time to change and reestablish a brand, but putting forth the effort today will pay off in huge dividends tomorrow.

Are you proud of your personal brand, or is it time for a rebranding strategy? Think about it. Each day our actions and behaviors establish our personal brand with others—and this personal brand gives us the ability to influence and impact others. As we become more conscious of daily actions, we begin to take control of our own personal brand. And establishing the right brand will help us become more effective leaders and better people! Happy branding!!

Tips For Relationship Success

“The most important single ingredient in the formula of success is knowing how to get along with people.”
Theodore Roosevelt

Building relationships is key to the success of any leader. Developing relationships in life is also essential for personal happiness and well-being. Below are four simple reminders on how to build strong relationships at work, home, and in our communities.

#1-Become Genuinely Interested in People

We must become genuinely interested in people if we want to build a real relationship with them. We can become genuinely interested in people when we realize each person is unique and has value to add to any situation because of their distinct experiences and background. Each person is different and thus can contribute to our lives in different positive ways. We must discover for ourselves that we can learn from anyone.

Once we are sincerely interested in people we can then show this interest by encouraging others to talk about themselves through asking questions and then listening carefully to their responses. We can do this as well by remembering important conversations and things we’ve learned about each person. Talking in terms of another person’s interests is also a good way to show genuine care about a person.

#2-Smile

Smiling often makes people feel good, and it helps them to relax and open up. As we smile frequently, we invite others to engage in conversation with us. People also enjoy being around those who smile frequently. As we smile often, our ability to build meaningful relationships will increase.

#3-Listen

Truly listening to others is important in building relationships. Rather than doing all the talking, we must allow others to express themselves and tell us about what interests them. Frequently dominating conversations is a sure way to suffocate and destroy a budding relationship.

#4-Follow-up

To keep a relationships strong requires some contact and follow-up. This means we must make contact on occasion with each person to enrich and nourish the relationship. Allowing too much time to pass between interactions will cause a relationship to wither away and eventually die. Thus, make contact frequently!

Learning to build strong relationships in trust can help us in every aspect of our lives. As we take a genuine interest in people, smile frequently, listen intently, and follow-up by making contact with others, we will be well on our way to building successful relationships.

The Four Agreements

“To be alive is the biggest fear humans have. Death is not the biggest fear we have; our biggest fear is taking the risk to be alive—the risk to be alive and express what we really are.”
Don Miguel Ruiz

The Four Agreements is an easy read, and it is an interesting and profound book about life and happiness. It challenges our current thoughts and belief system, while inspiring us to find happiness—emphasizing that happiness is a conscious choice. There are many points in this book that are definitely worth expounding on, but at this time I will focus on the specific four agreements.

The first and most important agreement is to be impeccable with our word. Our word is a powerful tool we can use to build each other up or tear each other down. Completely eliminating gossip and negative talk about others and ourselves is hard as it is so common and natural for us to do—yet doing it greatly improves our lives. Our word is so powerful that it can create heaven on earth or destroy everything around us. Though our words often seem insignificant, they have a tremendous influence on our own and others lives, and for this reason, it is the first agreement.

The second agreement is to not take things personally. People say things all of the time that can destroy us if we allow it to. Realizing what people say is not about us but about them and is often a result of a habit or a past experience rather than true beliefs or thoughts, allows us to avoid taking things personally. Being immune to what others say will help us eliminate any unnecessary and needless suffering.

The third agreement is to avoid making assumptions. As the author states, “the problem with making assumptions is that we believe they are truth.” Making assumptions is simply guessing, which frequently leads to unnecessary disappointment, ill feelings, and misunderstandings. Often we make assumptions to avoid communicating with each other openly and honestly. We must have the courage to speak, communicate, and discover the truth rather than simply assume.

The fourth agreement is to always do our best. And although our best may change from moment to moment, we must always strive to do whatever our best is at that given time. By doing our best, we avoid the feelings of regret, self-judgment, and abuse. Doing our best means taking action rather than being “afraid” to live through no action. As we do our best, we will feel good about ourselves and others.

As we practice and learn to live these agreements in our life, we will be able to find a greater level of peace and happiness. The key to living the four agreements is letting go of our fear while giving and accepting love. Having the discipline to overcome fear and strive to live the four agreements will also make us better leaders, and it allows us to choose happiness and success in life.

See how I rank this book

Instant Medicine (Part 2)

“If we savor humor, humor can be a life saver.”
George Burns

In my last blog we talked about the health benefits of laughter. Laughter can be an amazing source of power and healing. Today, I’d like to add some specific things we can do in our life to help us laugh more so that we can capitalize on its benefits.

Recognize the Value

One major thing we can do is to recognize the value humor can have in our life. As we come to this realization and accept the fact that laughing can really help us, we become more aware and willing to laugh. If necessary, plan “humor time” into your life to help you feel and recognize its value, and until it becomes a way of life.

Look from the Outside

When you find yourself in a difficult or stressful situation, take a minute to remove yourself mentally and look at the situation as an outsider. Is there anything about the situation that may be just a little humorous? Think funny and laugh at the craziness of life. In most instances we can find humor in even intense situations which will allow us to laugh and relax. This will help us deal appropriately with the situation at hand by providing perspective—most likely making the circumstance seem less important as it once did.

Write

Write down funny things that have happened during the day in a notebook and when you are feeling down, refer to this notebook. This will remind you of funny things that have happened, and it will hopefully brighten your day by causing you to laugh. This book can provide powerful relief when life is difficult.

Just Do It

When people are laughing join in! When you see something that’s humorous, laugh! Don’t hold back or surpass your urges to laugh. Just do it, and you will instantly feel good.

Learning to laugh frequently and freely will make your life better by helping you live healthier and happier. Using humor and laughing often will also make you a more effective and persuasive leader. Finally, laughing will help ignite the fire within.

Read Instant Medicine Part 1

Instant Medicine (Part 1)

“To live better…laugh more.”
2006 Self Improvement Online, Inc

Are you feeling stressed, tired, over-worked, over-whelmed, up-tight, anxious, or depressed…or maybe all of the above!? You are not alone as many have these feeling every day. So how do we combat these harmful feelings that bring us down and negatively impact our lives? I know of one simple solution that may not solve all of our problems, but that will truly help our lives.

Medical research has proven that laughter is a simple antidote to negative feelings. Not only is laughing enjoyable and fun, but it’s an extra ingredient to good health. In fact, many wellness programs are beginning to implement laughing and humor as part of their wellness plan, because the health benefits are numerous. Indeed laughter can alleviate depression, lower blood pressure, reduce stress, and increase oxygen and energy. It can also provide perspective and balance in our life, while helping us relax and stop taking ourselves too seriously. These are simply a few ways laughter can benefit our health and our lives.

Besides personal benefits, laughter also provides social wellness. Victor Broge once said, “Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.” Laughter has also been called "social glue", because "people who laugh together, bond together". Laughter builds instant rapport and immediately lowers any tension or anxiousness that may exist between people. In the end, people enjoy being around those who laugh frequently and easily.

Laughter and humor also positively impacts those around us. Laughter can quickly improve a tense or negative situation and/or brighten someone’s day. A little bit of humor can quickly dispel anger, aggression, hatred, and nervousness. Laughter can be contagious as it spreads through a group of people, as well as generous--helping all to feel better.

Finally, research shows that while toddlers laugh 400 times a day on average, adults only average 17 times a day. Thus as adults and as leaders, we must lighten up and laugh more!! As we learn to laugh more, we will be healthier, happier, and help others feel better as well. This will allow us to be better leaders, and it will increase our desire and our ability to perform at our highest level. Learn to laugh and your inner fire will more easily burn.

Read Instant Medicine Part 2

The Five Temptations of a CEO

The Five Temptations of a CEO is another excellent yet simple read by Patrick Lencioni. In this leadership fable, the author describes five traps leaders often succumb to that ultimately hinder their success. The temptations are neither surprising nor earth shattering, but they are instead very simple and obvious. The real problem is not that these temptations are unknown or hidden, but rather that so many leaders fail to avoid them. Thus, the book serves as a great reminder to all leaders.

The first temptation is to focus on status over results. Too often leaders try to protect their image rather than the group they are leading. This often results in less than stellar performances. As leaders we must understand our legacy will ultimately be determined by the results of our team, rather than our ability to defend poor performance or shift blame. As the author so clearly points out, results are “the bottom line” for all top leaders.

The second temptation is to choose popularity over accountability. As leaders, it is easy and natural to want our people to like us—but this will not always be the case. Instead of seeking for fondness or affection from those we lead, great leaders strive to win the respect of their team through accountability and high standards. Holding to these standards may make it lonely at the top, but it will improve our ability to lead.

The third temptation is to wait for certainty rather than provide clarity. Some leaders what until they are absolutely certain about a decision before they make any decision at all. In contrast, great leaders do not wait for certainty, but they instead focus on clarity by making decisions and then letting others know what those decisions are. Making decisions and focusing on clarity then provides a vision and direction for the group. This may mean as leaders we make mistakes and have to change our direction, but providing clarity will make us easy to follow.

The fourth temptation is to get comfortable with harmony and avoid conflict. Sure harmony is good, but constructive conflict is even better. Leaders who seek and encourage the opinions of others will more easily be able to make good decisions. Thus, great leaders ask others to challenge them on decisions, so they can make the best choices possible. Avoiding conflict and seeking harmony will diminish our ability to achieve the best results.

The last temptation is avoiding vulnerability while diminishing trust. Too often leaders give in to the temptation to appear invulnerable by shifting blame, denying mistakes, and threatening others. Rather than hide our vulnerabilities, good leaders trust their people enough to openly reveal them and ask for help with them. When a leader does this, it raises the level of trust in the group, and it increases performance. Great leaders are not threatened by others.

I believe the five temptations outlined in this book are simple, yet powerful. Through first recognizing and then overcoming these temptations, we as leaders will have greater results.

See how I rank this book

Moving Forward

“No matter how low, how tough, or how unfair life has been, all of us have the right and indisputable opportunity for greatness.”
Dave Pelzer

I recently finished reading Moving Forward by Dave Pelzer, and though it is not one of my favorite books, reading it can certainly add value to our lives. I feel the most important parts of the book can be summed up in three important life reminders of what we can, we must, and we ought to do to reach our potential and be most successful.

The first reminder I got form this book was we must believe in ourselves. No matter what happens to us, no matter the difficulties or humiliations we face, we must always believe in ourselves. Indeed, the author argues that the belief in oneself is so powerful it is the answer to most of life’s questions and challenges. Hence, we must believe!

The second reminder comes after the first and that is once we believe in ourselves, we can then work towards accomplishing anything in this world as each of has a capacity for greatness. Throughout the book the author shares many horrific events he faced in an abusive home growing up, yet he was able to overcome and achieve his goals despite his extremely difficult and disturbing past. No matter our upbringing, background, or shortcomings, we can accomplish great things if we set our minds to it.

Finally, this book reminds us we ought to be leaders in every walk of our life by staying true to who we are and sticking up for our personal beliefs and values. In a world of shifting and bending values where many sacrifice their personal beliefs to please others, the author challenges us each to live with integrity by not giving in to standards of the world. Thus each of us ought to be leaders of integrity.

Moving Forward by Dave Pelzer reminds each of us we must believe in ourselves, we can accomplish our dreams, and we ought to stay true to ourselves. When we do these things, we will find success and enjoyment in life, and we will more easily reach our full potential.

See how I rank this book

Personal Reflection On Sacrifice

Today my blog may seem a little strange and certainly somewhat different than what I normally blog about, but my topic today is sacrifice. In our society today, what are we willingly to sacrifice in order to move forward a great cause?

I’ve often ponder this question recently as I’ve been reading a great story about some of my ancestors. Though not as glorious or well known, much like George Washington, Martin Luther King Jr., and many other heroes in history who sacrificed so much to bless the lives of others, my ancestors made great sacrifices for a cause they felt was worthy. And by so doing, they lived very rewarding, remarkable, and exemplary lives. In fact, I honestly know that their commitment and willingness to sacrifice so much so long ago, still blesses the lives of their posterity today. Again, I wonder though, what sacrifices am I personally making that will help future generations?

Each of us can strive to find a cause greater than ourselves and contribute to it by sacrificing, even if just a little bit, in order to move it forward. During the time of the revolutionary war, Thomas Paine so eloquently wrote, “That which we obtain too easily, we esteem too lightly.” Thus it is clear to me that sacrificing for a good cause brings with it great rewards and satisfaction in life.

As we continue along our life journey, I challenge each of us to think about sacrifice and what it means to us. I also dare each of us to dedicate ourselves to a noble cause that will require some sacrifice on our part—whatever it may be. I believe that as we do this, as we sacrifice for the benefit of others, we will grow, appreciate life more, and enjoy it more fully. And maybe, just maybe, our sacrifices will be remembered and revered like so many lives from long ago.

Feeling Tired?!

“Our fatigue is often caused not by work, but by worry, frustration, and resentment.”
Dale Carnegie

Are you tired? In our fast-paced and over scheduled society, just about each of us feels overwhelmed and fatigued. For some of us, these feelings of fatigue and exhaustion are a daily struggle that ultimately limits our ability to reach our potential and enjoy life.

So what causes fatigue? Surprisingly, one of the number one contributors to feeling tired is stress and anxiety. When you think about it, it seems to only make sense as stress and anxiousness interferes with our ability to get a good night's rest. However, too much stress during our day has also been proven to lower our energy level and our ability to be productive regardless of the amount of sleep we got the night before. In the end, these feelings caused by stress hinder our potential to be successful. Therefore, learning to control and eliminate our stress can go a long way in improving our energy levels throughout the day. Here are a few ideas on how to overcome stress.

#1 Think Positive

Dwelling on unpleasant thoughts almost instantly leads to stress. Rather than looking for the bad, focus on the good. Also, many things in life are out of our control; so why dwell on them? Doing so only wastes our time and keeps us from being productive. Instead, we need to learn to focus on things we can impact. As we fill our mind with positive thoughts and let go of the uncontrollable, we will feel more energy and motivation. And in almost all situations, there is something positive we can focus our thoughts on--thus keeping our energy level high.

#2 Go to Work

No, I did not make a mistake in writing #2. Going to work does in fact increase our energy level. Often in our sedentary society we make the mistake of thinking fatigue at the end of the day is due to too much work, but this rarely is the case. The truth is stress and anxiety result in low productivity, which in turn results in lethargy and fatigue. Thus fatigue at the end of the day is usually not simply a result of the hard work we have done, but it is more likely a result of stress. As we “go to work”, our mind focuses on the task at hand and pushes out negative thoughts. This causes our body to awaken and our alertness increases. Indeed, hard work will makes us feel energized!

#3 Watch Reactions

How we react to the uncertain, unexpected, and frustrating things that come up each day in our lives impacts our energy levels. Each time you receive unexpected news, or something just simply bad happens to you, how do you react? It is easy to have a negative reaction which instantly lowers our energy level. Then if we continue to react negatively by complaining, worrying, or questioning, we slowly reduce our energy level until we are exhausted. Learning to take a deep breath and control our reaction, no matter what happens during our day, will help us keep a positive attitude, increasing our energy level.

#4 Exercise

Regular exercise reduces stress and increases energy and confidence. I cannot reiterate this enough! If you are constantly feeling fatigued, down, sleepy, and distressed, and are not exercising regularly, give it a try! Regular cardiovascular exercise will focus your mind and remove negative thoughts. Exercising is a powerful way to boost energy.

#5 Know Yourself

Finally, find out what works for you to reduce stress. Each of us should discover one or two ways we can instantly lower our stress level, whether it’s by reading a book, watching a favorite movie, playing sports, listening to music, or something else. When you feel stressed, fatigued, and exhausted—turn to what you know helps you to wake up, focus on the positive, and lowers your stress.

So are you fatigued? Rather than simply blaming your fatigue on a lack of sleep or too much work, recognize there are things within your control that can help boost your energy. As you dwell on the positive, go to work, control your reactions, exercise, and learn to know yourself, you will be able to increase your energy level. And by so doing, you will be better able to reach your full potential.

Achieving Your Dreams

“You can run from your dreams in fear or you can run to your dreams with faith.”
Tina Downey

Setting goals is essential for getting ahead in life; however many of us fail to set perhaps our most important goals, or at least we fail to deliberately work towards them. The goals I am referring to are our long-term life goals or our dreams. And because our dreams often seem so far away or so impossible, we stay away from focusing on them or truly striving to reach them each day. Working toward obtaining dreams in life is certainly not for the weak, as it takes real commitment, focus, determination, and hard work. However, the satisfaction in the end is always worth the effort.

When setting our life goals, many times we are reluctant at setting too high or too ambitious of goals for fear of falling well short. Learning to put fear aside and setting a “super-stretch” goal for your life will help you reach your full potential. In fact, when contemplating our dreams, we must never place limitations on what we can accomplish. I sincerely believe the sky is the limit for each of us as we each have tons of hidden, unknown potential. I believe each of us is born for greatness!

To be successful in obtaining our long-term super-stretch goal or dreams in life, I believe there are certain steps we must take to have the greatest chance for success. These steps include many things we must do to mentally prepare for the challenge of obtaining our long-term goals. Thinking through and applying these steps will propel us to achieve our wildest dreams. So, before you truly set out to achieve your dreams, take time to consider the following:

#1 Take a Good Hard Look

It can be demoralizing and frustrating when we don’t reach our goals even though we can certainly learn and grow by simply working towards them. However, before setting long-term super-stretch goals, I believe it is important that we take a good hard look within ourselves to determine if the goal is something we truly want to achieve and are willing to work for long-term. We must be honest as we self-assess our motives and desires for obtaining our goal. Once we have taken a good hard look at ourselves, we then can move forward with the determination and knowledge that we know what we want. Without doing this first, we may set ourselves up for failure. And although failure is not always bad, obtaining the goal is still the objective.

#2 Once In, There is No Getting Out

Often people fail to reach their long-term super-stretch goals or dreams, because once the road gets rough, they abandon their cause. This lack of determination and endurance can often be linked to improper mental preparation and frame of mind before embarking on accomplishing the goal. As we set out to achieve our dreams, we must determine before we ever begin that we will not give up or quit until we’ve achieved our goal. Roadblocks will certainly come, but those who stay the course and overcome roadblocks will succeed. The desire to accomplish the goal must be greater than the obstacles we will undoubtedly face. Beginning with a “no getting out” mindset will allow us the greatest chance for success.

#3 Choose Passion Over Pain

Obtaining a long-term goal will most likely result in some pain, sorrow, fatigue, frustration, etc., etc. Thus, it is important that we are not only passionate about the goal, but that we are willing and prepared to choose passion over pain. When the road gets rough and we are exhausted, what will we do? Too often people give up on what they want long-term to settle for something more pleasant in the present. Giving into the pain and not choosing passion often results in unfulfilled dreams. Thus we must never give up what we want most for what feels good right now.

#4 You Can’t Hide Progress

Are you making progress? How do you know? Many times we say we are doing okay or that we are doing all we can to achieve our long-term super-stretch goals when it is not true. To best achieve our dreams, we must be willing to be brutally honest with ourselves, and make adjustments in our lives as needed. Thus, we cannot finesse or hide our progression or lack thereof. We must frequently and honestly assess our progress rather than try to hide from it or ignore it.

#5 Ignore Skeptics & Keep the Faith

You will most definitely encounter many skeptics along the road, however you must keep the faith. Skeptics will come frequently, especially as you begin your journey; however you must remain focused and determined to succeed. If you are not ready to face skeptics, then you are not ready to achieve your dreams. Though not easy, keeping the faith under all circumstances will give you a real opportunity to accomplish your wildest dreams.

Achieving your dreams in life will not be easy, but it will be worth it! Now that you’ve taken time to review these steps, it is time to go for it! As you spend time thinking about the items above, you will give yourself the greatest chance for success. And truly striving to accomplish your dreams each day will cause your inner fire to burn.

Raising the Bar on Recognition

“One of the biggest ironies cited by leadership experts is that the recognition techniques that often have the greatest motivational impact are practiced the least.”

Not too long ago I was asked to give a presentation at a leadership meeting. My topic was on informal recognition in the workplace—those spontaneous acts of kindness and appreciation we all hopefully share with others from day to day. As I’ve thought about the topic more in recent days, I’ve realized these types of acts are not only powerful and meaningful in the workplace but also in every facet of our lives.

No matter our station in life, we all have the opportunity to create an encouraging environment for others that helps build their confidence and that creates a sense of pride in who they are. One easy way to do this is through informal recognition. Indeed, one simple act of informal recognition can have a significant positive effect on another—and if one, think of the power of many!

Informal recognition can be as simple as telling someone sincerely that you appreciate what they are doing for you. It can also be as elaborate as making signs and hanging banners throughout your house for a child who accomplished a goal or for a spouse, simply because you love them. No matter how big or small, these random and spontaneous acts will add some spice to life, and it will strengthen relationships.

Regardless of what you do, the important thing is what informal recognition does for you as well as the person you are recognizing. Providing informal recognition builds confidence, strengthens relationships, inspires trust, motivates people to be better, encourages people to work together and collaborate, and lastly urges people to informally recognize others as well. The benefits of taking the time to informally recognize others, regardless of who it is, will have a tremendous impact on your relationship with that person.

Now during my presentation at the leadership meeting, I issued a challenge to everyone present, including myself, to “Raise the Bar” on informal recognition. To Raise the Bar, I explained we must do a better job at informally recognizing others than we’ve ever done before. We each made a personal commitment that we’d make a conscious effort to improve our informal recognition efforts.

At this time I’d like to extend the same challenge to whoever may read this. Whether you are a single mother raising children, a professional in the workforce, or a college student earning your degree, I encourage us all to reach out and informally recognize others in our lives. Though it may seem like a difficult task, because it will require effort and time, we can do it! And by doing it, the positive effect it will have on ours and others lives will well outweigh the exertion we put forth. And as we do this, we will become much better leaders and our relationships in our lives will deepen.

A Simple Strategy to Achieve Goals

Are you having trouble reaching your goals or staying focused on what you are trying to accomplish in life? Don’t worry, you are not alone! One of our biggest challenges in life is learning to overcome our own weaknesses. Often we lack the discipline and determination to follow through on what we want to accomplish. Our dreams, hopes, and goals in life quickly become simply good intentions and ideas as we allow outside distractions to derail us.

Often, these continued failed attempts at achieving our goals can result in discouragement, lower self-esteem, and a lack of confidence in our own abilities--causing us to doubt and question if we will ever be able to overcome. Having these feeling can be very frustrating!

Recently, however, I heard of an idea that can help us overcome whatever it may be that is keeping us from moving forward and achieving our goals. It may seem a little outrageous at first but it is simple and it works. It is called the Return and Report Method.

The Return and Report Method is simply this—you give an accounting of your days activities at the end of each day to someone you trust. Easy enough, right? This person could be a spouse, a parent, or even a best friend. Anyone who is willing to give you a couple of minutes each day to listen and maybe challenge you a little bit to push you to success.

To start using this method, simply share with your selected “helper” what you are trying to accomplish—your goals, and dreams. Then, each morning set aside a little bit of time to determine what you can do on that specific day to help move you toward your dreams and goals. If you’d like, you may share your daily morning thoughts with the person you will be reporting to later that evening. At the end of the day, report back to this trusted person how you did in moving closer to your goals. Inevitability, sometimes you may have to report that you failed and did nothing; however, other days you will report the wonderful things you did to move closer to your goals feeling a great sense of accomplishment, determination and satisfaction. Giving this report at the end of the day will motivate anyone to stay focused on their goals, holding them accountable for what we do and say.

Now, this method may seem extreme or silly but it works! Utilizing it in your life will pay huge dividends in helping you achieve your goals and reach excellence. How much more committed would you be to achieve your goals if you knew you had to report on what you did each day?

The Return and Report Method may not be for everyone; however for most it can serve as a simple yet very powerful tool to inspire and push us to accomplish our goals. Using this method in our life will not only cause our fire to burn, but it will also help us to reach our full potential and ultimately be more successful in life. Good luck!!

Do You Have Rhino Skin?

In his book, The Other 90%, author Robert Cooper suggests that we all need to develop the skin of a rhino in order to truly reach our untapped potential. The reasoning behind this he explains is because rhinos have thick skin. And, having a thin skin often increases troubles in life and distracts us from the bigger picture of what is truly important such as achieving our goals. The following are some suggestions the author offers in his book that will help us develop rhino skins.

1. Don’t Take Things Personally

It is an inevitable fact; we cannot please everyone in life. Nearly always someone in our life is upset or angry at us and that’s okay. We must understand that often when people are upset it is not about us but usually about them. Human beings by nature are also fickle, dynamic, unreasonable, emotional, and passionate and thus often distort reality, get caught up in the heat of the moment, or do not say what they truly mean. Taking things personally is senseless when we realize we are all human and we all have different opinions. Hence, trying to please everyone will result in unnecessary stress, and frustration. Avoiding taking things personally will simplify our lives and make us happier.

2. Carefully Analyze Feedback

It is easy to jump to conclusion or feel any form of feedback is criticism since so often feedback is given in ineffective ways and inappropriate manners. However, when receiving feedback from others, we must remain as objective as possible. We must strive to determine if the feedback truly is based on genuine concern and support as often is the case. With this feedback, we must discover, accept, and embrace the truth that may be there and then use that feedback constructively to motivate us to improve our performance and be better people.

If we feel feedback is blatant negative criticism, we should let it go and not internalize it. We do not need to let others weaken our inner confidence through criticism or disrupt our focus on our goals. And we cannot afford to be offended, hold a grudge, or try to get even when we receive this criticism since doing so will only slow us down in maximizing our potential.

3. Talk Straight

What this simply means is that we need to tell the truth as this is what builds trusting relationships. We also should not withhold information for fear of the impact it may have on others. By talking straight we will save time and break down barriers that often impede otherwise successful relationships. Doing this often means we trust others with our true thoughts, opinions, and feelings and this is scary because people will likely disagree with us. However, sharing our truth will allow us to be stronger leaders and live more in harmony with our true selves.

So, do we have rhino skin? Developing rhino skin by following these three steps found in The Other 90% will truly make us more effective and successful individuals and leaders. Learning to not take things personally, carefully analyzing feedback, and talking straight will certainly make us unique in today’s society yet it will help us achieve our full potential.

A Certainty of Life

Wow, I was reminded once again this week that one thing that is certain in life is change. Just when everything was running smoothly, BAM!, another unexpected change entered my life. Though at times change can be frustrating and scary, it can also cause us to dig deep inside ourselves to find that unknown strength and hidden potential within us. Change also often has a way of forcing us out of our comfort zone, challenging us to be better. Certainly this unexpected change in my life has done that for me and though I didn’t see it coming, I’ve learned from it. Below are four things I’ve learned on how to most effectively deal with sudden change in our lives.

#1 Be Prepared

Change can happen at any time and can come in many forms. Each day we should proactively prepare for change. This can be difficult as most changes are nearly impossible to predict but there are always things we can do in our life to prepare us for the unexpected. Unfortunately, I was caught off guard and was not as prepared as I could have been and therefore was reminded of this valuable lesson. As we search for ways to always be prepared, we will be able to handle and deal with change much more effectively.

#2 Look for the Positive

Unexpected change often results in stress and despair however every change can have a silver lining, we just have to look for it. Seeking for the potential good that can come from an unexpected change even when it is difficult will allow us to most successfully deal with difficult change. When I first heard the news of this unexpected change in my life I was instantly shocked and disappointed but I did not allow those feelings to linger as I quickly turned my attention to the potential possibilities this change could open up. Also, instead of only dwelling on the here and now, we need to think about how an unanticipated change may be good for us in the long run.

#3 Maintain Perspective

Though the change may be shocking and disappointing right now—these feelings most likely won’t last forever. And though the change may have long-term implications, overtime, it will become old news and most likely will not last forever. Again when I learned about this sudden change in my life, I first dwelt on the here and now but after a short time I opened my vision to what this change may mean 5 or 10 years from now. Doing this helped me realize the change really wasn’t as big a deal as I was making it and overtime will probably someday be somewhat insignificant. We must remember that change will not kill us and only causes grief in our life if we allow it to. Taking a long-term perspective toward difficult change will help us not only cope but overcome and conquer a difficult change in our life.

#4 Embrace it

Once a change has occurred, learn to embrace it by putting it behind you and moving forward. Though often we do not have control over unexpected changes in our lives, we are responsible for how we react and act to change. We do control our attitude and if we view change as an opportunity and challenge, we will more successfully navigate through it. When we embrace change we do all we can within our own power to make the change work for us. And each time we are successful in dealing with a difficult change in our lives, we gain experience and are more able to overcome future challenges.

Learning to be prepared, looking for the positive while maintaining our perspective, and then embracing it, will allow us to be stronger and more successful leaders when dealing with an unexpected change. As we learn from and prepare for change in our lives, we will be ready to meet much of life’s unexpected challenges and opportunities. Indeed, though we may not realize it at the time, change is often exciting and wonderful!

The Most Important Day

“Your performance today must come from a deeper place. No matter how hard, no matter how tough—you are expected to make a difference. Today are you ready, today are you at your best? So much depends on what you do today.”
Bronco Mendenhall

Today is the most important day of our lives. What we do today will be what we are tomorrow. Too often we procrastinate and say we will do something tomorrow or that we will change in a few days but often, tomorrow never comes. So what are we doing today that makes a difference? After all, today is really all that matters.

Yesterday is in the past and there is nothing we can do to change it. We must let go and move on learning from the past but focusing on today. Tomorrow is in the future and is unpredictable. In fact the best prediction we can possibly make of what will happen tomorrow is by viewing what is taking place today. Past and/or current behavior is the best indicator of future behavior. Thus, if we are procrastinating until tomorrow, it is a safe predication that we will procrastinate again. Thus, today is our day, the day to take action.

Just do it, is a famous slogan coined by Nike but I have another word to add that can motivate us to take action even quicker and that is “just do it NOW!” We cannot wait for that perfect moment or a sign or until we have more money or a better job or the weather changes, etc. to do those things that are most important to us. We must do it now. We must not wait.

Today needs to be our focus. We must perform our very best today so that we can have a better tomorrow. Today cannot be another day of putting things off or wasting time. Today must be the day we take action because after all, everything does depend on today. Are our priorities right? Are we doing the most important things today? Are we putting first things first?

What we do today turns in to who we are and what we care most about tomorrow. Each day we have the opportunity to move forward towards our dreams or goals or move backwards and that depends on our actions today. It has nothing to do with what is past and even less to do with future plans. Good intentions are never good enough. What matter is what we are doing now.

So, learn to live in the present and realize that tomorrow will never come. Do those things that are most important to you today. Do not put them off because we may only have today...

Effective Goal Setting Tips

I am so thoroughly convinced that if we don’t set goals in our life and learn how to master the techniques of living to reach our goals, we can reach a ripe old age and look back on our life only to see that we reached but a small part of our full potential.”
M. Russell Ballard

Goal setting is extremely important in our life as it inspires us to action. Indeed, for us to be successful in any aspect of our life, we must have goals. Therefore, it becomes important for us to set goals for every part of our life.

Often in business we talk about the importance of setting SMART goals. These are goals that are specific, measurable, agreed upon, realistic, and time-bound. Specific means they are easy to understand and provide a clear understanding and direction. Measurable is a goal that can be measured frequently in order to track progress. Agreed upon simply means that you made the decision and commitment to put forth the effort to reach the goal—it is something you want. Realistic means it is obtainable yet requires you to work and focus on it. Time-bound simply means that there is a measurement of time involved of when the planned goal will be achieved. Using the SMART acronym when setting goals will help you in developing effective goals that you can reach!

Another important aspect of setting effective goals is making sure they are aligned with your personal values, and ultimate vision or plan for your life. Make certain short-term goals will help you achieve your long-term goals and your long-term goals will help you accomplish what you want to ultimately achieve in your life. Setting goals that do not align with your planned vision are pointless.

One more tip for setting effective goals is to set the bar high. Frequently we underestimate our own abilities and thus set easier goals—however, challenging goals are good. Challenging goals will encourage us to work hard, think creatively, and stretch ourselves. Difficult goals provide the most growth and the greatest reward. You may also want to ask others what they think about your goals as others can help you raise your vision and increase your confidence. Also, to achieve goals, make sure you have a plan to evaluate your efforts often.

Finally, remember that the ultimate measure of success in goal setting is not always that we obtain the goal established, but instead that we put forth an effort and learn and improve ourselves along the way. Goal setting is essential for great leaders and will help us focus and stretch ourselves to reach to our true potential.

Living With Purpose--Part 2

“The greatest tragedy is not death, but life without purpose.”
Rick Warren

On Monday I wrote about 4 powerful insights from the book, A Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. Today I wish to continue by adding three more important messages to my list of lessons learned from the book. They are as follows:

5. Focused Attention

What we tend to focus on we become. If we pay attention to all of the negativity that surrounds us and our lives, than negative things will tend to continue because we will be looking for them. However, if we can shift our attention and focus our minds on the good, than great things can happen. We must remember that the more we think about something, the more it takes a hold of us and becomes part of our lives.

6. Avoid Short-Term Thinking

The author of the books writes, “The most damaging aspect of contemporary living is short-term thinking.” Short-term thinking causes us to sacrifice our long-term goals and success often for meaningless and insignificant reasons. Instead of only focusing on the “here and now”, we should look to how a decision will impact us beyond today and how it will contribute to our purpose in life. Today’s choices will soon become tomorrow’s results. If we can learn to raise our vision and understand our decisions today will impact our lives tomorrow and beyond, we will be more inclined to make wise choices. Today is simply the “tip of the iceberg.”

7. We Must have Purpose

In the book the author states that life without purpose is “motion without meaning, activity without direction, and events without reason.” Indeed, if we don’t have a purpose for our life and goals that inspire and drive us each day, it is difficult if not impossible for us to reach our full potential and really enjoy life. Creating a purpose for our lives gives us meaning, motivates us, and causes our inner fire to continually burn. Great leaders have their eye set on a purpose. Developing a purpose for our lives is crucial to our ultimate happiness and success.

As we focus our attention, think long-term, and determine a purpose for our lives, we will be much more likely to achieve our dreams. Following these ideas as well as the thoughts presented on my blog on Monday from this book will help us to be successful leaders and live a meaningful life.

Living With Purpose--Part 1

The best use of life is love. The best expression of love is time. The best time to love is now.”
Rick Warren

I recently completed reading a book written specifically geared towards a Christian audience entitled The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren. And although I am a very religious person and a devote Christian, my blogs are not necessarily tailored to a religious audience or any particular faith thus I will not be writing anything specifically about religion. I will however, share some basic universal truths found in the book that will help all people of any faith, religion, or background to be better people and more effective leaders. For this purpose, which is the intent of my messages on this site, I wish to share seven general insights and widely applicable and powerful messages from this book. I will share 4 of the 7 today and the other three on Thursday.

1. Relationships Are First

Relationships are at the heart of everything we do in life and in order to be fulfilled in life, we need each other. Too often with our busy schedules these days, relationships are shifted to the back burner and take on a secondary role in our lives as something we will work on when we have the time. Delaying relationship building however only stunts our ability to grow and be successful. Additionally, this attitude robs us and others of the opportunity to reach our full potential. Cultivating our relationships is essential and must play a central role in our lives.

2. Beware of Busyness

Busyness interferes with our ability to think clearly and do those things that matter most in life. We must not let our schedules control us but rather, we must be proactive in using our time wisely. When we allow ourselves to be too busy, often we lose because we focus on tasks rather than people and the here and now rather than the future. By doing this we are essentially saying “no” to the most important. Making sure that we put first things first and prioritize our lives will help us to overcome the busyness of our world.

3. Tomorrow is Not a Guarantee

If you want to do something in your life, do it now! Life can end at any moment thus we must do the most important things today! Taking advantage of each day and living life to its fullest is important to gaining happiness in life and to reaching our potential. We must always strive to live in the moment and do our very best each and every day.

4. Do Not Underestimate Effort

Effort is essential to success in everything we do. We cannot simply wish for good things to happen without putting forth effort. Intentional effort made towards accomplishing good goals brings instant progression in our lives along with a great sense of accomplishment and satisfaction. We must do all we can to reach our goals in order to truly stretch ourselves and grow. When we do so, we can fully appreciate and feel good about our achievements.

As we put relationships first, as we are mindful and in control of our busy schedules, as we remember that tomorrow is not a guarantee and as we put forth a strong effort, good things will happen in our lives. As we do these things, we will be successful leaders and live life more fully.

On Thursday I will continue by highlighting three more powerful lessons learned from the book, The Purpose Driven Life.

Building Blocks for Building Solid Relationships

Building relationships is such an important part of business and life; but why do some fail time after time while others succeed? Though building relationships comes more naturally to some in comparison to others, below are some building block ideas that can help anyone build stronger relationships.

1. Smile Often

A good start to building relationships is to smile often. People tend to like those who smile, because they are usually happy, cheery, and have a positive attitude. A smile can immediately break any tension that may exist, and it encourages others to be open, warm, and friendly. Besides, smiling also makes people feel good.

2. Show Interest

It is always a good idea to show interest in people—especially if you can do it immediately! If you know you will be meeting with a specific person, such as a new client or maybe a job interviewer, do some research on that person by asking common acquaintances, co-workers, and others what they know about the person. With technology these days, you can also do searches online for information about the person. Also, ask good questions and then in follow-up interactions, talk about the person's interests. It is also very important to remember family member names or other names the person mentions and to ask follow-up questions about pervious conversations you may have had. Doing this will show a genuine interest in the person, and it will strengthen the relationship.

3. Offer Compliments & Praise

Very few people claim to not enjoy compliments from others—and those who do can’t really mean it. However, you must be careful when offering compliments. Be sure they are honest and sincere—not forced. For some this can be very hard, but as with most skills, practice makes perfect. Pay close attention to what the person is doing or saying as well, so you will catch things you can later compliment them on. Also, look for ways to help the person feel important through praise or recognition.

4. Be a Good Listener

It is hard to have the patience to listen, especially with our overfilled schedules, but we must. To build relationships we must be able and willing to actively listen to others. Listening helps you show interest, and it makes the person feel important. You can show you are listening by repeating or paraphrasing what the person is saying or by adding to the conversation. Never get caught doing something while someone else it talking, such as looking at your computer screen, checking a text message on your phone, or scribbling a note.

5. Don’t Criticize or Complain

Doing either of these things turns people off. People do not want to be around or socialize with negative people. People will also wonder what you say about them when they are not around if you are constantly criticizing, complaining, or condemning. Avoid these negative attitudes at all costs. Again this may take some practice. Asking others to point out when you are complaining or criticizing will help you in your efforts to eliminate these negative comments, and in turn it will help you build relationships.

Building relationships in life is perhaps the most important skill we must learn to master. Practicing and developing the above ideas will help us in our efforts to build relationships. As we do these things, we will become better leaders; and we will enjoy life more fully because of our stronger and deeper relationships with others.